ATOGA

Movies aren't real life, but yes, some guys have all those traits. What's unrealistic is your idea of a 'perfect package', those don't exist.

not quite in that way, yeah sort of, they're rare as fuck, and yes for all intents and purposes you're being unrealistic. have standards and keep them reasonable

i found one. "mysterious" is a meme though

I've been talking to this grill I trained muaythai for a couple of months now. We met at training, and never got too close at all. She was a good friend and very supportive when I was nervous about my first fight on a ring, which was in january.
Anyway, I had to stop training but we still talk. I'll visit the training center tomorrow to check on my friends(seeing as I'm never here anymore), and she said that she'd go despite not training in the morning(she has school), just cause I asked her to go. I said I'd bike her to school after so she wouldn't be late.
I understand none of this might be significant, but... could it be significant? How can I know if we're onto something here?
By the way I'm nineteen and she's turning seventeen next month. She's on the last year of school and I just got into university.

Same. Too much pressure and I'm nervous to begin with. I want someone 'stupid fun', sometimes lazy, maybe a bit chubby, normal-- someone to be cozy with.

>i found one

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why they gotta be unfun, is there not a way to balance levity and responsibility?

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>ignore peepee posters
PLEASE

We have /soc/ (read /dick pic general/) for these people.

We're talking about the guy described. He's never all that fun, he's far too serious and sensitive. I'd rather someone more like Andy from Parks and Rec, minus the manchild part.

I want to break up with my gf.

I dont feel romantically for her, and the time I spend with her is usually dont entirely on autopilot because I cant stop thinking about how much Id rather be with someone else.

That said, shes a good person, and I care about her, but Id rather just be friends.

Problem is, Im literally the only aspect of her life that isnt shit. Shes clinically depressed, unmotivated, and overweight, and I genuinely believe none of it is her fault.

So, in my mind, breaking up with her is just trading her happiness for my own, which I don't know if I have the balls to deal with, especially if she ends up killing herself.

But theres a girl ive met recently who Ive really started to crush on, and I want to ask her out. She may not even feel remotely the same, but thinking about just being in the position to ask makes me feel so... free, I guess. Like the world isnt as cramped and my life isnt as hopelessly bland and melancholy.

Then again, I remember feeling passionately about my current gf, and now here we are. Maybe relationships always end up like this? But even still, Im 22, so even if Im just being hormonal or ignorant, is the happiness I may get from this experience, even if it is short-lived, not worth it? What if I died tomorrow? Would it really matter if my decision to act for my own happiness was ill advised then?

Idk man.

This. The 'guy in the movies' are always fun on top of what was described.

>tfw had a crush on Anakin
I was young okay?

i very seldomly watch movies, if that part's super integral to this we probably have entirely different things in mind. he fits the description given to a tee. being that he's human, he's not a picnic 24/7. mysterious is a meme

I imagine Edward Cullen when I hear this description . I wouldn't say 'fun' is one of his personality traits.

like brooding?
he sounds full of himself :>

SAND
FUCKING
EVERYWHERE

I want a hot, sensitive, weirdo like Johnny Depp in Benny and Joon. Pic related

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Prequels >>>>>> shit >>>> J.J.verse

That's honestly a tough call man. All I can think of is suggest you guys go on a break, or find her an outlet to focus some of her energy on and once she gets more involved in that, let her down gently.

never met one, not even online. i found that neets are just boring normies in disguise.

The person himself is in charge of his own happiness. By chaining yourself to her not only you're unhappy yourself, but your girlfriends' condition will not improve because she has no reason to, she already has you.

Basically you are blocking the potential for a better life on both sides. You can help her with her apparent mental illness but you shouldn't throw your time away on someone that could make things better but won't.

Also being overweight is always the persons' fault, what do you mean?

Edward is fun.... sometimes.

Idk man, she's generally rational thinking, but she just eats like shit, which I assume is out of stress. Basically ive taken to believing that her psychological functions are fucked through no fault of her own, and because eating habits are majorly controlled by psychology, shes not at fault for those either.

I could be giving her too much credit.

why is xer searing the pancakes on the ironing board?

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It honestly seems like youre speaking out of the ass, a person is 100% aware of what and how much he eats but chooses whether to or not eat.
Now, to continue, by your posts it sounds like you are treating a dying dog.
Think twice if you want to stay chained and lose opportunities because it might be mean to leave someone you are completely unattracted to on any level.

If you leave her, she should better herself and find happiness, if she cant, and by your post this is probably the case, you can always try to help, but don't waste your valuable time.

>It honestly seems like youre speaking out of the ass, a person is 100% aware of what and how much he eats but chooses whether to or not eat.
True but it's harder for her if she has psycho issues.

>psycho issues
Thats a special case, but luckily we're in 2018 where we have therapy and medication. Obviously not the best solutions but they work for many people. Beyond that I can only advise spirituality, but it requires hard work and dedication, together with belief of course.

>or a Christian that loves his enemies
What? Christians are the most pussified religious group these days. The pope is washing and literally kissing the feet of muslim refugees instead of calling for a crusade in Europe, that's how bad it is.

sounds insignificant but could be something. ask her out or if she's interested in anyone.

The concept is moreso love through enmity not literally kissing feet

Fuck off, you retarded tripfag.

L-love you too, bro.

[spoiler] ;_; [/spoiler]

yesterday one of these threads had an user asking about a "practice girlfriend".. if said user sees this, post your email or discord or something. i'm a girl and looking for the same thing so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

why not

because they're already cooked. xer could be eating delicious pancakes. instead xer is mucking up the ironing board and fucking up the nice pancakes. burnt pancakes taste like ass.

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I don't see a microwave. Do you?

Guys, be 100% honest.

If a girl whom you knew as a very good friend for about six months told you that she was in love with you and wanted to be your gf, how would you respond? Would you be overwhelmed? Would you be nervous and run away? Or would you enjoy knowing that a girl loved you and wanted to be with you?

Again, be entirely honest here.

>Constantly text girl for a long time, get along great, meet up once and both have a good time
>She grows distant and more silent a few days afterwards
>Ask her for a talk about it 2 weeks later of it happening
>She's as straight forward as she could be saying she's been busy with another guy she likes a lot
>Tells me she wants to keep hanging out and talking to me, "doesn't want to lose me"
>End up respecting that a lot more than her ghosting me and just roll with it

So what should I take from this? I enjoy her enough as a person to keep being friends with her but I'm confused on what she even wants from me. Am I a backup guy for her or does she see me as a potential good friend?

I'd be overwhelmed if her approach was straight out saying she loved me. If she hinted towards wanting a relationship from me and we grew closer then it wouldn't be as odd for her to say it later.

It would depend on how I felt about her I guess. My reaction probably wouldn't be to run away though.

>Hanging out with female friend at her place
>Gets on all 4's bending over to reach something
>Get rock solid instantly
>Wearing joggers so go into ultimate boner concealment mode

Holy shit, do girls do this on purpose?

Depends. What you think is the chance he likes you back?

Is he apparently single?
If so he either likes you or he doesn't, plain and simple. It's pretty binary, he'll either be ecstatic or he doesn't, and there's a very simple but very tough way to find out

Coyness is cute too so a text will do, just say "I like you a lot, user.. do you want to maybe go for coffee tomorrow?"

I'm not sure to be honest, because I thought he was flirting with me for a while but now I'm not sure.

He's single and looking for love.

>backup guy
Wtf is this really a thing, girls? You can't be THAT disgusting can you?

So should I say something more along the lines of: "I appreciate you" or "I am very attracted to you."

you would be ASTOUNDED at how shitty people can be towards those they claim to care about

What do you think? We don't know anything about the man in question. Maybe you can tell us something if you want us to decide what he'd like to hear more.

Anything you feel like sounds natural will work but I'd just personally avoid the love word since some people take it seriously. He might be someone that would like to hear that though if you feel like he is but there's nothing wrong with saving to use it for a more intimate time when you're actually dating.

He's quite shy and reserved, which is why I'm afraid of overwhelming him.

Roughly half of women have a backup guy and 70% of that half (that is, about 35% of women overall) are in contact with the backup guy. Which source would you like? I've got:
>Huffington Post
>Daily Mail
>Men's Fitness
>Medical Daily
>Boldsky
>Phillymag
>Metro
>Men's Health

Both genders pull that stupid shit. I've known guys who like to gloat about their "side bitches" and girls who like the extra attention.

The current dating environment is fucking horrible.

We're good friends. He laughs at my jokes and I laugh at his. He means a lot to me. I wouldn't tell him I love him right away.

You got a good thing going on user. I'm happy for you and wish the best between you two. Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.

I remember you and this question from previous thread. My advice is the same: go for him. Why are you so insecure about it?

Depends on why he's refusing to contact you. You're not exactly specifying why he's pissed at you.

Same advice as before: Ask him out on a date rather than "confessing love". So many guys do stupid shit like that so it's at least refreshing to see a woman do it.

I've never actually seen the "side bitches" thing anywhere but on twitter when people are pretending to be black.

Either you're so deep in the friend zone your mail is getting sent there or she was sending you signals.

I was on a tinder date the other night. We met at the beach at night and convo was good, although I suspect she has autism or something. We kissed a lot, and later I tried to hold her hand while walking down the beach, but she said “I’m not your girlfriend wtf” and started getting really distant. It ended soon after by her saying I was only there for a one night stand, etc.

We parted ways and later she texted me “sorry to be a disappointment”

She wasn’t, and I’d like to meet her again but don’t know how. Help?

would you date a bald guy if he had an attractive face? I'm balding in my 20s, but my face is pretty attractive and I'm covered in body hair.

Also I can't imagine a relationship where my girlfriend didn't just want to fuck tons of other guys.

Im a guy, but your communication game sucks. You have to talk about stuff with her and discover boundaries before just doing shit.

Ask questions.

Can I kiss you? Can I hold your hand?
Don't just take shit that isn't yours. Earn it first.

She might be autism but you definitely are. Hand holding while strolling down a beach is 1000% more intimate than kissing.

You know it's borderline molesting, ask before act. So to continue, you should apologize for being this rash and you understood that she needs more time to bond. Gl

I like a girl form a workplace, and she said she likes me too. We've opened up this fact to each other and she said I shouldn't be scared and we didn't have to date or do anything, because we both know it'd cause problems in the office, making it harder to work there (another guy there likes her and our friends are kind of pushing them together).

I've never like a girl seriously before her, and I'm a person who really enjoys quality alone time due to not having a gf before. I'm not a NEET but I don't really enjoy going out often, I just really like indulging in whatever I do alone. And somehow, there's this sad feeling coming from the thought that I'd have less time for myself, as well as the pressure to make her happy, even though she said we don't have to date or anything. I really like her though.

So the question is, for both genders, why am I such a fucking beta and how do I deal with that kind of shit?

so I have a a crush on my bestfriend when I was in high school and since we were younger at that time we didn't really cared much about it
after a few years we would rarely see each other because she moved away and I slowly lost my feelings for her and realize it was just some high school crush thing.
But last year we started meeting up again with our other high school friends, and we became really close again. At first I still didn't have feelings for her but I sort of fell in love with her now, it wasn't like the high school crush from before, it was like I really want to marry her. I don't know if she knows it or if she likes me too but we were really close, like she'd hold my hands, hug me, ask me to massage her head/hair, have late night conversations with her asking about my love life (never had any) and my types, and other really girly shit. It felt so great, like I was feeling that she loves me. We went on like this for a few months. Then just last month it's like she's gotten cold with me, she rarely replies to my texts anymore, and she rarely acknowledges my presence when we get together with our friends, when usually we always tease each other and do stupid shit together for our friends' entertainment.
This is a really weird ass roller coaster.
I was thinking that she actually liked me but got tired of waiting for me to make a move?
Or she didn't and when she felt I was starting to like her, she started to distance herself to preserve our friendship?

If it was the first one, do you think I could still salvage that shit?
and if it was the second one, is there any reason a girl would do this?
Or am I missing another possible explanation for the sudden change?

Kissing is a bit of physical affection that feels good to most. Hand holding is much more tender/romantic, also because there's not the same physical gratification. It's not for nothing that strangers might make out drunk in a club, but you don't hear of them holding hands just for the thrill of it.

On top of that, holding hands in public signals to the world that you belong together, that you're a couple. That's fine if she is your girlfriend or wanting to be your girlfriend.
That's not to say that no girl ever could enjoy it, but be on the safe side and avoid it in the future until talk of feelings has come up. If you feel it's too soon to tell her that her smile gives you fluttery feelings, it's too soon to hold her hand if you ask me.

Just text her back that you had a great time, let's meet up again and talk/go out for something fun. Only address it face to face and tell her she didn't disappoint you and you realize you might have misjudged the situation yourself. If you both quickly agree you had fun and wanted SOME intimacy at least, end on that note and go enjoy your time together, don't pick it apart endlessly just long enough to make sure there's no hard feelings on either side and potential misunderstanding is cleared up.

Sure, attraction is a whole package and actually more than the sum of parts, still. How I feel about his eyes and smile > any other detail.

I can't do anything about your conviction itself I'm afraid, but realize it's just fear. There's thrill in fucking many people but also loneliness, risk, disappointment, hassle. It's definitely not for everyone. I'm not even wanting to fuck random guys when I'm single, why would I when I have a loving partner I'm attracted to both physically and emotionally?

Look man, you can only know for certain what exactly you get out of a relationship once you're in it (disregarding whether you've dated before, I mean the person involved makes all the difference). Given how much you stress that you like her I'd just take the plunge by imagining how much you might hate yourself looking back on this in the future. You are essentially wanting to bow out of a promising situation because "it might not work out" and "there's probably drawbacks". Well yeah, but if you applied this logic to any area of your life you might as well go lie in the grave already. Everything comes at a price. The thing is that if you really do miss your alone time that much or the pressure to make her happy is killing you, then you've tried and you can break it off. That to me is favorable over simply missing out, which allows you to in five years wonder what could've been, and I guarantee you that then the idea that there probably would've been downsides to it won't mean shit to you. It's only going to get harder to meet compatible people as you get older.

Not to mention you're comparing the status quo to the hypothetical good future. But realize that if you don't take her up on this, she's going to move on and before long your cute coworker has a boyfriend picking her up to get lunch or getting her flowers. And if suddenly you find that really hurts, it's too late to do anything at all about it.

Tell her you really like her and you want to be discreet about it in the workplace, you want to take it easy, but you have to know how things play out. She already sounds understanding and this way you don't build sky high expectations from the get go. Take it easy but take the chance. Good luck user.

There's two possibilities here. Either you were hardcore "friendzoned" and she just used you as a crossover between an understanding female bestie and an interesting guy. Fun for her, without much effort or sacrifice. If this is the case she just interest and moved on.
I doubt she sincerely acted like this out of platonic friendship then distanced herself rather harshly. She'd need to be one hell of a naïve girl to not realize the stuff she does can make feelings grow.

But it is indeed more likely to me that she was into you, she gave you all the signs (honestly for a girl who doesn't want to take flat out initiative she's being pretty aggressive with her interest actually), and at some point she drew the conclusion that apparently you weren't into her and were just loving the female attention. Basically the other way around, that you were using her for egostroke and emotional intimacy without actually wanting more from her.

I would do a hail mary at this point and ask her to call/meet up then tell her in hindsight you're unsure of whether she was signaling for more, and actually you liked her all along. It's superscary but if she feels deflated and rejected you're going to need more than tentative shit to let her believe you, rather than coming across like you want her to come running back now that your fangirl is starting to focus on her own life.

How the fuck do people manage to balance a romantic life with a full time job? I just started my first proper job and have to wake up at 6 every weekday so I'm in bed by 10.

Only being able to do late dates and staying over on weekends seems absolutely shit.

>Only being able to do late dates and staying over on weekends seems absolutely shit.
Well that's how people manage to balance a romantic life with a full time job. Assuming they're not already in a relationship by the time they're working.

Femanons. This is for you. I have been with my GF for five months. We text all the time. We see each other on the weekends. I have tried to hide this really well from her because I am unsure how it would appear. When we say goodbye on Sundays I cry like a baby after I am alone. I just don't like being away from her. I have told her I don't like leaving on Sunday, and I did mention on one occasion I cried a bit, but I think she thinks it's cute. I legit get depressed when she isnt around. What do?

I was in one but it ended around the time I started the job and now all I can think about is how much stuff I was able to do that I now can't.

Definitely don't tell her the full story. You can tell her you miss her/are a little down afterwards (cute indeed), you can tell her you're worried about having a response too extreme (not cute but being open, and if she's a good partner she should be able to deal with this). But if she's a much more independent person, telling her you break down after leaving is going to make the light-hearted stage of the relationship vanish pretty fast. This would be alarming to many people and put huge pressure on them. It's one thing to say goodbye when you know it makes both of you sad, but who wants to lovingly kiss their boyfriend goodbye when you know afterwards he's going to be a mess? Your relationship isn't solid enough yet to make her feel responsible for managing that - and she can't, anyway.

To an extent this will likely go away or at least lessen over time, it's normal for many people to want to be around each other 24/7 in that honeymoon stage. But I would definitely soul search yourself why you handle it THIS badly. To give a suggestion, oftentimes when people derive all their happiness from their partner, they're running away from other shit in their life they're not dealing with properly. E.g. hating their job, not having friends etc, and then when they fall in love they want to disappear into that love and have the rest of their life fuck off.
You can talk about this with your parents or an online therapist if you want. You can read up on independence/autonomy and healthy space in relationships.

Other than that, you'll have to fake it till you make it. Keep investing in the rest of your life, even though you're not feeling it. Don't give in to the urge to wallow around until you see her again because that'll make everything worse. Try to get new experiences, try a new hobby or go for an unusual night out. If you have to, motivate yourself by remembering you can tell your girlfriend about it later.

What are the honest feelings of girls in LDR? I am thinking about getting in one for around 4 months. What goes through your mind? How high do you think the chances of it being successful are? I'm worried she'll lie about it so when I come back I won't know and will look like an idiot.

When I ask her if she'd cheat during the discussions she says - "I'm not that type of person, I'd never do that, I love you" my first instinct is "that's what everyone says." Building a positive self-image. I bet a lot of murderers or thieves say that but the situations arise and it happens.

Not a grill but I absolutely can't stand saying goodbyes either and used to get depressed when I was away from my gf. She might think it's cute but she could also easily think it's needy/clingy/pressure, I probably wouldn't bring it up again and instead work on overcoming it yourself (especiallyif you start thinking about having to say goodbye before you actually do, because then it'll creep forward and you start being negative when around her, which will be awful).

All I can think to suggest are things like try and make the absolute most of the time you do spend with her so you can't sit there thinking about things you wished you did and have to wait until next weekend for. This honestly seems like something you should talk to someone you can trust in confidence about though (parents, close friend, doctor/therapist/counsellor).

youtube.com/watch?v=n450GmN2Yfk

Look at her history. Does she have an easy time being single, or does she hop from relationship to relationship? Has she dealt with LDR before?

I'd have no issue with being in one for four months, but I have no issue being single (and not hooking up) for much longer than that. It depends on how angsty/unfulfilled people get without that daily partner around to do things with.
Honestly though, just a couple of months isn't so bad. The worst about LDR isn't that you cannot do shit together right now, it's the indefinite lack of being able to assert yourself as a couple in certain ways. Bringing your partner to family and work events, going to that promising movie with them, having their arm around your shoulder when you cry. You can only "consummate" part of the feelings you have. That's bleak for many if you don't know how long it's going to be until you do have the package deal, but knowing it's defined to be a momentary situation is entirely different. That's just my take on it, though.

But I wanted to add
>my first instinct is "that's what everyone says."
you're right, and this is why you shouldn't ask questions if no answer will make you feel any better.

>in love with you
Red flag, I'd run.

But if she was just into me, that's cool, I might give it a go depending on the person. If I'm their friend, obviously I like something about them at least. But if I wasn't keen, I'd do my best to be kind about it.
I wouldn't go near someone who proclaimed to be dead set in love with me if I'd never thought about it, though. Not only is it weird to claim you're in love with someone at that stage, but even if they didn't call it love and were just super pining for me, I wouldn't want to walk into something that clearly means a shit load to them if it had never even crossed my mind, you know what I mean? I wouldn't want to try someone on like a T-shirt only to find I'm not interested and fuck them up, 'cause I certainly know I wouldn't want that done to me. Trying someone on is fine if you're both coming at it from the same level, but if they're too invested it's putting them in a high risk position. The situation could be salvaged if I could talk them down from the clouds and really let them know where my head's at and what they're getting into, 'cause I also wouldn't want to just plain walk away from what could be a good thing just because I didn't think of it first, but it's a tricky one.

>Look at her history. Does she have an easy time being single, or does she hop from relationship to relationship? Has she dealt with LDR before?
She's 22 and has had 5 boyfriends at 16. The longest break I know about was over a year where she said she didn't have sex. I started dating her after her last relationship ended (we worked together) and now I'm thinking about leaving but think it might ruin the relationship and will kill me if she cheats. I'll have to ask her about LDR.

>The worst about LDR isn't that you cannot do shit together right now
Yea that's the main reason I'm worried. I've always been secure with women when I'm there for that reason. There's only so far you can be with someone over the internet.

The biggest reason I trust her is because she says she has been cheated on and now how it feels. Then again:
>you're right, and this is why you shouldn't ask questions if no answer will make you feel any better.

Thanks for the reply

I would run away screaming, and the brag about it later online.

Seriously. Don't tell us you like us. We're not used to people liking us.

It's your decision, but it sounds like as far as you can gather now, the signs are alright. What's more, I assume you know your own girlfriend pretty well, which should mean you're able to tell if she gets nervous while talking about the possibility, even if she wants to put on her brave face and say she can do it.

And honestly, four months isn't forever as I said, and there's still a lot of things you can do while apart. Especially if you make an effort to e.g. have good phone sex (it might feel weird at first, but it can actually be really intimate to just focus on all the nuances/arousal in someone's voice, and the weirdness of the situation can contribute to a cheeky/naughty feeling if you do it right) that you can switch up with pics/random sexy messages, surprising her sometimes with a sweet card/letter or flowers, watching the same movies apart so you can pick them apart together and bond over that, and go out of your way to keep each other updated on how you're doing. Not just "today was draining and my coworker was terror" but also "I saw the cutest little three-legged cat on my way to work and its coat reminded me of your mom's cat". Or random little "can't fall asleep and keep thinking about your smile when first waking up in the morning" texts. One of the reasons LDRs have a bad reputation is because it is less easy and natural to put in the relationship effort because it's less directly rewarding than when you instantaneously see their response. But it's a matter of discipline and devotion still doing it and it makes a big difference.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, hope it works out well.

Thank you

girls whats wrong with being arrogant or at least being arrogant without being an overt douche about it?

How do you work a relationship in which you live an hour and a half away from each other? It makes it impossible to see each other during the week if either of you has a job. And seeing each other only on the weekends doesnt feel like a relationship.

>and the brag about it later online.
You're a dickhead. I would keep it to myself.

Mite b cool

I had this happen to me, though we'd known each other about three years. Took me a half hour to muster up a response but it was a positive response. We ended up dating not long after she confessed to me and we both said we wished she'd done this sooner (she had a bf when we met that she debated breaking up with because she had more feelings for me). So do it. Don't use the word "love" though. Stick with "like"

you are right, it is nothing.
she didn't show up :(

I think that is cute as fuck. I wish my bf was like that.

does the girl bathroom have urinals too?

Femanons,

would you date a guy who has recently decided to change careers and go back to school if he's 26 years old and would probably be done with it at around 33?

How would you feel about the lack of career stability? Would that be an important factor if we assume everything else was fine?

You keep going on dates on weekend. 1 hour of travel is nothing. If you want to male it fair, just switch who goes to who so you both spend equal time travelling. And when you get bored of sex and travelling, just move together. That is what all couples do.

Dont do LDR. Save yourself the trouble.

Welcome to the adult life. Why do you think alcohol is so popular? You are supposted to not think and work yourself to death ot until system spew you out at good dating age 65 where yoir dick doeant work anymore. If you dont get used to it, try to get part time job.

Ask her on a coffe.

Kek.

Install tinder. At best here you can find LDR. And ldr is scam. You need somebody from your location.

>asking bullshit queations
>instead of installing tinder and find out first hand
If you have resources to pay for dates, you are datable.

Bit the real dillema is what will you do once you find out that even your new career suck ass as much as your old one job.

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>people here saying that holding hands is borderline molesting
There is no reason to date in 2018. Last time I went on a date a girl looked at me weird when I almost walked away without hugging her and hugged me. You're socially awkward if you aren't intimate but you're "borderline molesting" if you are. Dating is a minefield lol, holding hands is a little too intimate for a first date though.