>be me >yesterday >lying on the couch scrolling Jow Forums on my phone as usual >crippling depression and anxiety for almost a year now >mom comes to room and asks if I'm ok 'cause I haven't been talking to her or dad that much lately and "sad" all the time >want to die inside.jpg >need to talk to someone about these problems >we keep talking >asks me whether I'm in love or smth >say no >keep talking for approximately 40 minutes >asks me multiple times if I'm ok or not, because she will help me to get through everything and won't judge me no matter what it is >say I'm ok >eventually asks me about suicide >tell her I won't do it because I love her and don't want to hurt her >starts crying >hug her >tell her that I'm ok and there's nothing to worry about >actually thinking about suicide everyday, selfharming etc.
I won't do it because since last week I'm scared of death because of that dream where I committed suicide and now I'm even more scared and I really need help, but don't want to hurt my mom with the problems I have. What do Jow Forums?
Just tell your parents you're bored and you need friends
being really bored feels just like being depressed
Liam Nguyen
She just wants you to talk to her more about it to put her mind at ease desu. She'll know you're still dealing with things but if she tried to talk to you and tried to talk to you about suicide then likely she has read about some suicide case before and couldnt sit and watch you like that without saying anything
Find her when she's on her own and tell her "Hey mom, I just wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate the talk the other day. I know it must've been hard to have it and I know you did it because you care. I just wanted to let you know that I care about you and dad a lot too. You don't have to worry about me killing myself because, as I said, I don't want to hurt you both. I'm just not feeling that well right now and haven't been for a while. I feel depressed,yes and I lied when I said the suicidal thoughts never came around but I won't do it even though sometimes it feels like it's all I can do. I'm sorry if this is a problem but I just wanted to let you know that I love you both and I'm going through a rough patch at the moment but don't worry yourself too much about it."
Build that bond. You're lucky that your mom cared enough to give you that talk. Truly lucky. It'll get better. If it's the environment that's getting you down then change it. Talk with them if you need to.
Aiden Kelly
Literally nothing. I don't feel like playing computer games and hanging out, everything seems pointless right now. I realised that my life is a wasted (not like I'm old or something) and all that time I've someone I hated being most - hypocrite.
Daniel Barnes
t h e r a p y
or meds
Levi Walker
Thank you, user. I really appreciate your advice. Gotta talk to her again this week.
Don't wait for the "right time". She's likely replaying the conversation every now and then. Put her mind to ease. youtube.com/watch?v=WcSUs9iZv-g Here, this really put things in perspective for me.
Jonathan Gomez
I'll watch it as soon as I get back home. Thanks once again.
You have to find something that makes you care again. No one can tell you what that thing will be, you have to discover it yourself. It's a war against your own introspection; the only way to win is to stop analyzing yourself so closely and work towards goals
Ayden Roberts
I hate myself for being a hypocrite my whole school life. All the friends a had that time were with me because I wanted to have friends, I laughed at their stupid jokes, bullied other kids at school and so on. I've never had a fight in my life because I was nice to everyone, but secretly hated them so fucking much. I used to play a lot of games like 10 hours straight, but now I feel like they're the reason why I lost all my teenage years just having fun and not socializing enough. I mean I have friends online that I used to play with but there is just one guy I trust a lot. I definitely can call him my only and best friend. I can talk to my friend and buddies with no problem, but when it comes to meeting new people it's a lot harder. I don't have the confidence, I'm nervous, although I can hide it pretty well. Anixety hit me this summer, I can't get rid of it. I don't know what to do and how exactly I'm going to help myself with this.
There are no such thing at the moment. Actually I tried to fill this hole with anime. I used to watch at least 15 episodes per day, but now I'm doing my best to get through 2-3. I really enjoy watching it, but it's just kind of hard for me to do anything than living day by day.
Well, it might be a better idea to tone down the self hate a bit and try to work on your issues, self hate would only slow down the process of sorting yourself out.
If you post yer Steam ID or something I'll add ya. Let's watch anime together or talk about whatever really. Been feeling suicidal for well over 20 years but since there's just no point in dying I'll just pretend to be happy until I get happy instead.
Jaxon Price
Meh it's quite simple really. Get yer heart pumping and you'll feel more alive. Well, doesn't need to be lifting. Just do some kind of repeated movement. Take a walk while listening to some nostalgic music. Lift. Jump. Do sit-ups, push-ups. Hell, science even suggests that fapping helps.
Aiden Sanders
Yeah, I know I should probably hate myself less, but I just don't seem to find a way to do it. Thanks for advice though, I'll try to do something about it. My english isn't that great to be honest. But if you give me your fake mail I might send you my steam ID. I thought about taking up running when it gets a little warmer. Fapping and interest in sex in general are no longer interesting, although I'm still a virgin. I guess more satisfying would be cuddling than sex atm.
Running's great for you. Builds stamina, builds character, builds ass. Fuck yeah for cuddling.
I should probably get a second email just to chill with anons. Used to have one years back, can't remember the password. I'll look into it and reply eventually; currently at work.
Spoiler alert...your mom already loves you and knows something is wrong. Why not accept some help. Don't scare her but tell her you've been feeling sad and maybe counseling could help you and ask to get hooked up with that.
Elijah Green
Sound advice, nice one
Parker Taylor
BULGARIA REPRESENT, REPRESENT
Noah Robinson
M That's what I'm going to do I guess. But I don't feel like asking for help, I'm trying figure things out myself right now, but at the same time it doesn't seem to get better at all.
>I'm trying figure things out myself right now, but at the same time it doesn't seem to get better at all. Which is why it's time to seek for help. I know how hard it is. I had been through depression and suicidal before, and i refused to seek help. I managed to pulled myself out eventually, and if i have to go through the same experience again, i will still choose not to seek help, and rather die. But the point is, seeking help is an option to you if your mom already knows something is wrong, and still wise enough to let you come clean yourself. Because she knows very well that, to help you, you must act and try to help yourself too, so forcing you to do anything won't help at all. She's just waiting for you to take this step and tell her that you're not okay. Remember, she already know you're not okay.
Jack Nelson
Reading these advices almost makes me cry for some fucking reason. I perfectly understand that if won't seek for help it will end up really bad, I know that I should tell her that I'm actually not ok, but I feel like I'm out of that age where I could talk to my mom about personal problems (basically crying about them). It just feels wrong. I'd rather go through some kind of therapy with meds honestly. I will most definitely talk to her this week about it again, because I just can't find any other options than that.
youre your moms most beloved child, she cares about you, she wants to help you, she wants to help you carry the boulder keeping it inside wont do any good for you, it will only cause you to dive deeper into the depression, just do it, humans cry, its a part of our nature, dont hesitate to do it
>have self-loathing issues for a decade now >constantly joke about suicide >ask to see a therapist in case I’ve got something >literally both sides of the family have relatives with some sort of mental issue >”LMAO it’s nothing, stop worrying” I grew up extremely coddled in a right wing family, and now they dismiss everything and call me a Nazi... I honestly feel like I’m gonna become Hitler 2.0 in the future, and nobody’s helping...
Julian Cruz
Yeah and since this thread is still up, should I tell her about selfharm shit? I guess I shouldn't include that in our conversation, this will only make her worry even more. >LMAO it's nothing, stop worrying What the actual fuck? A perspective of becoming Hitler 2.0 isn't great. Do you have any grandparents that could listen to you? They might help you, but only if they're not right winged like your parents though...
user, my parents are NOT right-wing these days, that’s the problem. They turned into libtards who spout “eh mon, who cares if Europe gets BLACKED user; what does it matter if our country looks like AfriCoonA; it’s all about CHARACTER”. Fuck them.
sounds like you have lost your sense of self in someways. just do some deep thinking, turn off all phones and computers and just let your brain do what it does. with enough quiet sitting you'll realize things about yourself you didn't even know because you never took the time to listen to yourself
True fashion is wearing jeans and a monochromatic tshirt every day
Ryan Russell
Well how about your mom and your friend? From the posts I'm reading it sounds like a big thing is that you can't let go of your past mistakes, so how about instead you focus on someone else? Ask her what she needs, buy her something nice, maybe buy a game your friend has been wanting on steam.
This probably won't cure your depression and definitely not your anxiety, but i think changing your point of view and focus could help give you perspective and better find your reason.
I bought my mom a chistmas present this year and she loved it. I'm not that kind of person to give a lot of presents, but I really enjoy seeing people I care about happy. My friend's birthday is in may, so I might actually buy him something. I don't think it will change much, but still thanks for reminding me that I'm not that useless and that about my friend's birthday next month. ^^
I think you and I are in a very similar situation, only that i havent ever talked to my parents about it. you mentioned that you wanted to start running, and thats really something that helped these past couple weeks, so i can really recommend it. Doing creative stuff (painting in my case) is also something that helped me, so i would recommend trying something like that. Its just important that you keep in mind that it doesnt matter if you suck at it, it doesnt really have anything to do with your worth as a human being, same goes for sports.
generally i would recommend you trying new stuff, whatever that would be, like visiting another country or city (if you never went without your parents, i really recommend going with a friend, or alone if thats not possible) but trying new things can be small things as well, like dressing a different way, talking to people you usually dont talk to, doing activities you dont normally do,( for example if you dont read a lot try that.)
I wish you good luck, and if you feel hopeless, remember that there are always people that are there to listen.
I'm horrible at drawing sadly, but I'd really love to learn how to draw some day. Well, I haven't talked about my problems with my parents even though they might suspect something is happening, but I never told them that I'm fucked, so it counts as kind of similarity. Thanks for advice, gotta do more stuff I didn't do before, I heard that it actually helped people to get of depression.
being horrible at drawing is not a problem! iam horrible at drawing aswell, doesnt mean that you cant make something that means something to you, or something that looks good!
it doesnt necessarily have to be drawing, you can also try writing, making music, making videos, etc. id just recommend you create something.
Is that your drawing? I used to make those loud bassboosted videos with ridiculous soundtracks mixed up with each other for my buddies. That shit was fucking fun. But there are no new ideas to make similar things, so I dropped it. Making music might be fun, but it definitely takes a lot of time and requires at least some skill so it wouldn't be complete garbage. It's not like I'm going to post it anywhere, but still.
hahaha if that was my painting i would be rich by now. i also tried making music with fl studio some time ago and i have to agree, making music is really a time consuming process. if you really want to do something musical i recommend you try to learn an instrument, im learning how to play guitar myself.
I'm far from art, no wonder I have no idea who that painting belongs to. I never really wanted to learn an instrument, it takes too much time and if you don't like it it becomes routine that you hate and it will definitely bother you all the time.
user why don't you try to change that? If you are looking inside yourself and found that past you dislike so much, then you have something to work on, to think shoot your past and realize if your mistakes is like a blessing. Look there is too many people messing around with their life, family, friends and even others life's, you have come to realize there is something fucking wrong with you and recognize it, now you know what is wrong, do something about it, improve yourself, try to do things in the right way from now on.
C'mon you're even messing yourself up because now you're conscientious ally what you've done. You're not a bad person, people Fuck up sometimes and are really wrong other times, but the way is not to drown in shame but to get a grip, seek for some sort of redemption, correct mistakes, be a better person and keep moving towards the rays of light
If you’re depressed, see a counselor. High schools and colleges all have them.
Chase Hill
I'm going on two years. I think about suicide pretty much daily. I started doing drugs, didnt help. I was getting close to the edge and figure therapy should be the last thing I've tried. So far it has helped, it's keeping me going just knowing i have another session coming. They say some smart shit, and it just feels nice to talk about everything. They manner in which they give replies is amazing too, I cant really describe the experience too well but it was nothing like what i expected.
Matthew Davis
I gave some good advice only to come back here to see the thread devolve into anime girl posting and gay. y tho
Colton James
I thought about this last night, but it I came to the conclusion that I'm still being a complete faggot. Even if I managed to abstract from all this bullshit, after a couple of hours everything returns to its place. I'll try it again obviously, but it just doesn't seem to work for me in my current state of hating myself. I guess he doesn't mind, as long as it's going to be just anons from Jow Forums. I haven't sent him my steam ID yet though. I need to talk to my mom so that she wouldn't be nervous about me taking some fucking unknown pills everyday. No thanks. This is the last thing I'm going to do. Someone on Jow Forums got kicked out from uni for being "too suicidal". But it's still an option, so... I don't really like the idea of taking pills honestly. But if everything else won't help, this is the only option I have I guess. Fuck, I'm really sorry for that... I'm not gay though...
im by drugs i meant substance abuse. I've only began anti depressants recently because it was suggested to me. I cannot comment of the helpfulness on medical drugs.
Chase Sanchez
As far as I understand it takes some time to see an actual result after taking antidepressants. More than 3 months. I'm a little scared of taking pills of any kind that will somehow fix chemicals in my brain.
I'm in a similar situation, OP. This is my plan that I'm going to follow through and because my life is bad then I might as well try. No harm done if I fail:
1. Sleep earlier 2. Take care of myself in terms of hygiene and diet. 3. Exercise a little (some running, push-ups) 4. Stop fapping because I don't enjoy what I fap to when I'm finished and feel guilty. Nofap will make me be able to get off to nilla stuff again. 5. Manage my time better. This means that I make more time to study or prepare for work or whatever. If you're a NEET, then this means planning out a goal.
My theory is if I can get my body more energized, then I can deal with things like socializing more. RN, I'm just wasting away and don't have motivation. There have been two or three days in the past year where I had a sudden will to live and enjoy and I don't really know why. But I know it's in me. Hopefully, these steps will help get it out and I'll feel good again.
The problem for me is if I'll be able to overcome my lack of confidence and find friendship and love. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick.
Zachary Phillips
See a professional. They're trained for this, we aren't.
Luis Smith
>4. Stop fapping because I don't enjoy what I fap to when I'm finished and feel guilty. Nofap will make me be able to get off to nilla stuff again. >The problem for me is if I'll be able to overcome my lack of confidence and find friendship and love. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick. I feel you man, this is so fucking true. I gotta go through these steps too, it might really help
