New to tinder, matched with a qt but I am not really sure how to start the convo. We have somewhat similar music taste I guess, but other than that her bio didn't give much away and I'm drawing a blank.
I suck with grills pls help me get to the in-person stage I can handle that better
>Hey your Tinder profile sucks but I like your taste in music
My formula:
>basic greeting, wait for response
>ask icebreaker question
>use her response to learn more about her, and explore other topics of conversation (e.g., she mentions she has a dog, talk about dogs)
>repeat last step about 3 or 4 times (i.e., traversing about 3 or 4 topics of conversation, chaining from topic to topic, both asking questions, mentioning things about yourself, and answering questions if she asks them)
>try to set up a coffee date
But all they listen to is nigger rap. I mean I can lie with the best of them, but saying nigger rap is good is just not me.
>4 posts
>4 IPs
Hey, you aren't OP.
Lol that's the direct approach I suppose
I like this formula, I meandered around on my first conversation and it ended up going nowhere. 4 topics and to the point.
Is "hey" too basic of a greeting these days though? I feel like cute girls get 500 "heys" per day by thirsty dudes, I want to at least stick out a bit.
Yeah not me, she does like rap but I'm not a manchild (mostly) and can enjoy different genres of music
>Is "hey" too basic of a greeting these days though? I feel like cute girls get 500 "heys" per day by thirsty dudes, I want to at least stick out a bit.
My belief on this is to be a little better than "hey" but short enough that it fits within a single notification without getting shortened. One that worked well for me was "Hey pretty lady [winking emoji]". Bitches love emojis.
Another good one was tacking on something about a pic, like "Hey, there! I love your dog!" or "What's up! Really like the Eiffel Tower pic!" But I think guys WAY overthink these things. If it's too time-consuming or hard, you should just go simple. It's more important to say something soon after matching.
Saying anything that isn't "Hey, how are you?" already makes you stand out more than 99% of the people they match. Don't overthink it, OP.
Odds are she's not going to respond or she'll be about as entertaining to talk to as a corpse. Don't invest too much time or energy into Tinder conversations. Save that for when you get her number and you're on a proper texting app (don't wait too long to set up a date either).
>I meandered around on my first conversation and it ended up going nowhere.
Yep I did the same. The key is to be adaptable. Don't focus too much on results (i.e., whether you got a date or whether the convo lasted all four topics, etc.), because there are way too many variables. It's more important to focus on what feels natural for you. Also the lynchpin, in my opinion, is a good icebreaker. My favorite was "Would you rather live in a high-rise condo in the city or a large house out in the country? And why?" If the girl gives a detailed response, you get so much information about what she likes, and can ask so many follow-ups and get on so many other topics based off those responses.
Thank you for the tips. It's almost 3am but I will try using these tomorrow. I like the lynchpin idea but I dont know if I'd open with it, personally dont like weird unrelated questions asked of me. I could be a bit more jaded than the average person though, which is why I'm on this app and not at a bar or party.
Anyways, I like this formula. I've got a few other matches so if things dont go over well with the qt I'll see if any of the others are interested.
>too shy/introvert for clubs/bars
>want to try Tinder
>only have selfies
>have asked all my friends if they could take a picture of me
>one of them just doesn't respond to it when I bring it up
>the other tells me to "man up and have more confidence, just use that selfie bro"
>the only person who has taken pictures of me insists on photoshopping out the imperfections first, which he's been putting off for about 3 months now
>started Tinder almost 2 months ago with my boring old pictures (selfies)
>only 3 matches
>first match unmatched the day after
>second match turned into a date but she was a bit dishonest about her pictures, to say the least
>the other match is from another country, which puts me off
Sorry, just felt like ranting. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be in a relationship.
>I like the lynchpin idea but I dont know if I'd open with it, personally dont like weird unrelated questions asked of me. I could be a bit more jaded than the average person though, which is why I'm on this app and not at a bar or party.
I've got to say, when I've gotten a girl who responds to a greeting, I've never had one fail to answer an icebreaker question. I usually introduce it as something like "I want to ask an icebreaker question" or "How about an icebreaker question?" It kinda softens the harsh transition from "Hello" to "Tell me how you think, now, in thirty words or less."
Seriously though, when the girl's replied to the greeting, I've not had one fail to answer an icebreaker. It's gimmicky but there's a reason why they're used so much in other environments.
desu if that place judges only based on the pictures you have of yourself it's kinda shit
I mean why the fuck would anyone care if you only have selfies? my friends barely ever take pics, let alone of other peeps, and I'd feel weird to share pics of other people on tinder without their approval
if I set up my camera on a tripod and take a pic is that still a selfie or will the Stacy gods of Tinder have mercy on my profile?
fuck that man
>I'd feel weird to share pics of other people on tinder without their approval
Kek. I have pics with friends and acquaintances on Tinder. I didn't ask for permission either. It's always clear who I am in them, though. It's advantageous to look like you've got friends and a life.
If you're really concerned or ethically conflicted (though you shouldn't be), you can always blur their faces or put emojis over their faces.
Seriously, posed-for-Tinder shit, especially if you're taking the pic yourself, even with a tripod, looks like shit. I tried that when I first did OKC years ago. It was fucking awful and I looked like some kind of rapist. But natural, candid pics of having fun with friends? How could a girl hate that? (protip: they don't hate it)
>the other match is from another country, which puts me off
How the fuck did you match a foreigner?
>the only person who has taken pictures of me insists on photoshopping out the imperfections first, which he's been putting off for about 3 months now
Ahahahahahahaha I fucking know that guy's feel. Jesus.
One of the weird things I learned from OKC when I skimmed their blog posts awhile back was that bitches like bokeh. Nice, creamy, blurred backgrounds with narrow depth of field. I later realized roughly why that was; you can't see shit like nose hairs or pockmarks 90% of the time when your lens is a ƒ/1.4 and it's focused on the tip of your nose or front of your eyeball. You don't have to go do a bunch of shooping.
I live close to the border, so half the girls I see on Tinder are from another country. I don't speak their language.
Wow that fucking sucks. You'd think they'd fucking add a feature to filter that out.
see, this kind of normie shit always reminds me why I shouldn't even bother with tinder shit, at least not now, I don't need that crap
more luck to you though, at least you've figured our what works
>Bitches love emojis.
I haven't used an emoji since they were a sideway character combination that barely looked like a face.
Please tell me there is a bigger reason why I haven't met anyone in more than a decade.
Kek. Swallow your pride user. It's fun out here.
>Please tell me there is a bigger reason why I haven't met anyone in more than a decade.
I think what you describe is a symptom of the greater problem: Not putting yourself out there and keeping up with what's popular. I never got less pussy than when I was a dyed-in-the-wool contrarian.
>Not putting yourself out there
This might be true, I also didn't have much time as I was getting educated.
>keeping up with what's popular.
I don't live in a cave, I just don't use them when I talk to people. I can say what I need to without it.
>It's fun out here
it really wasn't for me, I've tried it a bunch of times and stopped forcing it; I know myself, I have plenty of friends that I like to hang out with, I literally don't need this right now
we're just different people user
Actual protip: I recommend that anyone having trouble holding tinder convos make a fake tinder profile first. Why? Because you're not emotionally invested in the outcome, and you'll see how harmless and meaningless it all really is. They don't care. They really do not care as long as you're reasonably "normal" and attractive.
I've had plenty of girls just straight up stop talking to me. Probably because I'm boring and they found someone more interesting. I don't know how to not be boring. My main hobby is gaming. That's not really popular with women. Especially since I know a decent amount about games and such. It's pretty much the only thing I can talk about endlessly. Even girls who proclaim themselves as "gamers" don't want to talk about them.
>Especially since I know a decent amount about games and such. It's pretty much the only thing I can talk about endlessly.
Kek. You need to find new hobbies user. Something you can legitimately share with a girl.
Baking bread is one of mine. My grandpa was a baker in the navy during the war. So I can talk about that too. Everything can be connected in some way.
Well I do have a few other hobbies, but they still fall in the "nerdy" category. And I don't have one as strong as gaming. Comics, movies, and slightly anime. All these things are very rare for women to also be interested in. Shall I just be gay?