Let me start off by saying I know I already sound like w whiney, entitled fuck. Hell I feel one just for feeling this way. But I'm always just super fucking bummed out at work. This goes beyond mom's sharing "lol i hate my job" minions memes on facebook, it seems like just being at work is enough to make me super fucking depressed (I have struggled with major depression/anxiety issues as long as I can remember).
I do my best not to let this get in my way of going into work however. I worked a fast food job for 5 years with a near perfect attendance record, despite how often id wake up for work, hoping for some freak accident to prevent me from coming in. I've been working at a warehouse for about a month now, and it's a decent enough job. The work is easy, I'm forming good relationships with the people I work with, however I'm still suffering with the exact same issues I've suffered with in my last job, and even throughout highschool.
The issue is, thoughts of how much id rather be at home with my gf/chilling with my roommate/my friends/my family/w.e. I try to use things like "ok when works over I'm gonna go home, my gf, roomie and I are gonna chill and watch a funny movie" as motivation, but it often backfires and makes it harder to get through the day because i want it to be over that much more. Sometimes using "this is a means to support myself" helps, but it can also form this big looming "Im gonna have to work and be miserable everyday for at least 40 more years"
I don't understand whats confusion you. You get payed to work because nobody in their right mind would do it for free. Because it sucks.
Bentley Richardson
Not him, but is such wage worth wasting 1/3 of your life?
Luis Davis
You have a damaged reward system, but idk how to fix that. Do some research on it
Christian Myers
Do you know any other alternative than being hobo? Cause i dont and lets be honest: being hobo is worse than job because you are 24/7 hobo while only 9/5 employed.
Ethan Russell
Even in highschool and college (which i dropped out of) I'd often procrastinate because I couldn't help but prioritize time with close friends (and video games too) over my schoolwork, and when I tried to work my head would still be plauged with all those thoughts of all the other things I wanted to be doing.
At my fast food job this issue did lessen for a few years. My co-workers felt more like good friends, we always had lots of fun on our shifts, My manager was really great too (which is actually super rare for a fast food job). But even after the job became more habit for me, there'd still be lots of times where i'd get caught up in those same mindsets and just want the day to be over to be with those closest to me again.
And I don't think I just "haven't found a job i like" either. Seems like no matter what I do I'm gonna feel the same way. I think the only way Id really be happy working is if I found a way to work from home, but obviously I'm not self motivated enough to start my own business/be self employeed in anyway, so there's a pretty big dead end there.
I feel absolutely pathetic typing this up. I'm coming off like a fucking toddler who can't be away from mommy and his friends without crying, but enoughs enough and it's time i fucking deal with all these negative feelings about work. I recognize for a while I'm gonna have to just suffer through these shitty feelings until I can get better and I'm prepared to do that (I've been doing it for years already). But I really need help with this, I don't wanna spend the next 40-50 years of my life spending half the day wanting to die
