Existential crisis at 18

>I did a big boss cosplay
That actually sounds kinda cute

Yeah it was me as big boss but a girl version.. I really like mgs, I like playing with action figures and pretending it's mgs idk it's weird

>tfw no mgs-loving gf
why live?

Eh trust me, normie girls are better... I fucking suck

In the time since you posted this thread, what have you done? Were you browsing memes or something on the internet?

>I fucking suck
I mean, that's not necessarily a bad thing...

Honestly I've had my fill of normie girls. Dated a few in law school. They just wanted to go jogging and go out drinking all the time. And drag me along to take pictures because I have a DSLR. Yawn.

I had a shower, I'm thinking of going to a cafe to sketch a bitI dunno if guys are up
For watching anime and stuff with me, I wanna go to Japan with a guy I really cherish and love, I wanna go and eat lovey food with him, go to the countryside onsens and get some cool anime stuff

>I'm thinking of going to a cafe to sketch a bit
Good. Be careful.

Aw that sounds like a sweet trip! Are you gonna go to art school OP? You could also study abroad over there.

Hmm I hope so, I hope I graduate school /: thank you :)

40 is a long way off

I unironically want to kill you. Just... Just keep on living. Fuck. There is literally no crisis here. Why do you even want to get married at 23? Why do you have such specific autistic times to reach certain milestones? You are 18 as well. These seem like autistic meme goals, no offense. Precisely the reason why I am not interested in 99% of the female gender. Fuck, where am I? Why did I go on this board again?

Attached: avatar_265.jpg (300x300, 20K)

I'm sure you will! You're almost there, and you actually have a lot going for you in the future.

And don't worry about the virginity thing. You're still young. I held onto mine until I turned 32. It wasn't even as big a thing losing it as being intimate with a gf who I loved was. Sucks that it didn't work out, but she was just NOT for me.

Hey now don't bully. She sounds cute.

Because getting married is my dream, I don't think that's unrealistic. I think it's unrealistic to you and other people, because we are conditioned with 'hookup' culture and just fucking random people. And I am an aspie, but I'm aware that at age 30 a woman's fertility detriates.

And thank you user! I don't really see anything for my life right now, but I'm trying my best to make my life as smooth as possible. I'm aware that a relationship can't cure my mental health, only I can. I can't be unstable when I get into a relationship again

Attached: IMG_3512.jpg (700x700, 63K)

Yeah, those are just unrealistic goals in this day and age. But more power to her, if she feels like age milestones mean that much

My bad, still though, I feel annoyed because of this person. Like I don't hate them, but they really shouldn't worry. It makes me upset.

Attached: 71c9b7d14b96b7e8257508096602b95fcef599f125ccbf470444c5a01400ba6e.jpg (1122x984, 544K)

>Because getting married is my dream, I don't think that's unrealistic.
It's not unrealistic at all OP. Lots of my friends in law school had gotten married right after college. It's totally doable. The key is not to obsess over it. I made that mistake in college, kept chasing the wrong kind of girl, kept getting rejected... and felt like a failure after college because of it.

My best friend in undergrad would tell me that I was in love with being in love. And... honestly she was right. Being in love feels good. It's like the opposite of being depressed, when you get that cloudy feeling in your head. Being in love is like a fluffy feeling in your head. It's so fun.

If it is really your dream, then sure, whatever. I don't understand why anyone would want to seriously value that sorta stuff, but I am not one to judge...

Whatever, let's get serious. Who is this guy? Why do you want to get married? How did your relationship flop? Where do you usually hang out during your free time? Give me this information, woman.

Why shouldn't I worry? Also nice 2hu

Yeah I try not to obsess about it, but it just plagues me a lot. Maybe I need to talk to my therapist about it dunno.... I just feel like it won't ever happen like I'm too weird and ugly for marriage. But your right, I shouldn't be in love with love it needs to be genuine and pure and most of all it has to come naturally

Aww OP, if I could I'd send you a hug right now. Hang in there. You're worth fighting for!

Don't let him make you despair! Young guys do that shit on purpose. Don't let him waste what's supposed to be the best years of your life.

Especially if he's not gonna man up and take care of you properly. He's just a boy.

>Also nice 2hu

Thank you! Clownpiece is the best, but I a, temporarily going to stop clown-posting cause I don't want to completely avatar-fag. You should worry because there are many factors that you still haven't factored in. For example, your behavior, and scope of contacts when going to college/university may change drastically. There are multiple factors to this. One such notable is the "new horizons" effect, or something along those lines.

Also, I asked these questions here It would be helpful if you answer them.

It's a really long story, bassically though I was very unstable when I was with him and he had his own issues too. We both geninuly loved eachother, at the time I believed he hated me so I'd constantly ask that. He was in his final year so he was really busy with work and school and his dad kept pestering us on dates ringing him up saying " when are you doing your homework" one time he had to leave the date because of his dad. But one day I attempted suicide via overdose and I feel as if it reminded him of his mums death. It wasn't my intention to do that, but I was at a really bad place mentally that's a whole story of its own though. Bassically he said once he finishes school we can get back together again, but I insulted him and abused him via text and blocked him. He messaged my mum saying that he still loves me and whatnot and wants me back after oct of last year. But I've still kept him on block ever since, he's messaged my mum asking how I was but yeah. I did drunk message him tho

Lies, you are a 40 year old male larper who has failed life .
Its time to get off the computer bob.

Attached: 1522942823520.png (500x333, 217K)

>I attempted suicide
Ehhh. Sorry user. That's a bridge too far for me. All the cute just drained out of this thread.

Holy shit. This was probably important to note when you first made the thread. How old is this guy as well? I feel as though the best you can do now is just apologize. Keeping him blocked is probably just going to make it worse honestly. Also, how long have you been with this guy?

Attached: 09bd95d5fb165acf38cca26e5ec75816e6b7d3be1eeebde414f81983bb5654e9.png (531x531, 305K)

Just be thin.

There's a gazillion guys on Jow Forums looking for their virgin waifu.

Even assuming your relationship is ruined (I seriously doubt), the fact that you've already got into a relationship before means that you are not a lost cause or something. It sounds like self-defeatist talk...

Attached: 1518979475220.png (1280x1514, 1.08M)

... but big boss is a boy.

How could big boss be female? That just doesn't make sense. I'm like actually upset by this development.

The guy is a year older than me so, 19.
And around 6 months I'd rather not date a incel
I guess but I dunno, maybe he was secretly making fun of me to his friends.

Gender bend

I told ya so, I'm a terrible person honestly.

>I guess but I dunno, maybe he was secretly making fun of me to his friends.

I'd play devil's advocate and say that isn't completely out of the realm of possibility. I doubt so, why would he call your mom though? You should try confronting irl and see how he behaves.

I mean whenever I get panic attacks and felt like shit he'd always either call me and try and calm me down for hours or try and negate his busy schedule and see me. I helped him with his panic attacks too, I told him I was an aspie and he said " I don't care if you are, Ill still always love you" i dunno im just nervous

>I'd rather not date a incel
oh shit, burned

I don't particularly like the people on pol, I don't like chad but I also don't like betas like that. The guy I love is politically consveritave like me but doesn't treat me like I'm an object

You seem to have a good guy then. I wouldn't doubt him too much. Being in such experiences together, I doubt he'd just want to just make fun of you, y'know?

One of the most significant rules of rehab is that patients must never date, or otherwise become romantically involved with other patients. The odds of both patients relapsing or otherwise fucking up are enormous.

You both being prone to panic attacks, being socially awkward, having serious psych problems... I'm assuming he's had a suicide attempt before too... it's all just asking for trouble.

I mean, I know you love the guy and I'm sure he loves you, but I think when the situation's like that, you're more likely to exacerbate each other's weaknesses than play off each other's strengths. Just from some of the stuff you've said in this thread, it sounds like that's happening.

I feel like you need a more mature guy who's not going to make you doubt yourself so much, who's gonna recognize when you need support more easily, and is gonna have a better handle on his life.

I don't think that's he case
I need to work on myself more than anything, to make myself more stronger and mentally stable. Just jumping relationships isn't for me especially if I'm using the other person to secure my doubts, I don't want people to handle me I need to handle myself I need to fix myself.

Also it's not his fault that I doubted him, its all got to do with my mind. The relationship was PERFECT and it's not my fault that I'm like this but I really do need to work on myself before getting back with him. He did everything that he could to make me happy and I was really selfish about it

>I'd rather not date a incel

But that's what you are.

I try not too.... I know how much it hurts for someone to see that

How?

The thing is, relationships are a two-way street. Fixing yourself is never enough, he needs to be fixed as well. You both need to be in good shape to be able to handle a relationship.

It's like when a guy makes a thread on here asking if it's a better idea for two aspies to be in a relationship together because they'll be able to "understand each other better" or something. People need to stop with that. Being aspie, like having panic attacks and other stuff, is not like just being "out of tune" with the rest of the world so that you're both on the same wavelength, it's having a distorted lens so that what he puts out gets distorted to others, and gets even more distorted when it comes to you.

So, as you say in , you're right that your mind is a factor. But you're wrong in thinking that it's the primary or only factor.
>The relationship was PERFECT
It wasn't though. You weren't able to handle it. The relationship needs to be right for who you are, not who you ideally see yourself as being. That's like me going for my ex because she's an executive and really outgoing, forceful, strong-willed... while she would've been perfect for the guy I see myself as ideally being, for me she was a tyrant.

So really dude, don't blame yourself so much. Blame fate, blame misfortune, but don't blame yourself. The guy couldn't keep you. Why torture yourself and him by forcing it to happen all over again?

Thank you for your input, I guess i see it differently. I want to be more mentally stable for any type of relationship, I really don't want to go through that cycle again and again. It just hurts me and the other person, I do still love him but I think I need to focus on myself more and just wait for things to happen naturally. What do you think about that?
I think that the type of feelings,thoughts and beliefs we have for ourselfs kind of attract that sort of person to us so maybe all my anxiety and depression sort of made his depression and anxiety come back. I want to be stable, not just for a relationship but for myself and my life. I don't like being depressed, it's terrible. I need help. Thank you though..

You're absolutely right that you should heal yourself, but what I'm saying is that it's probably best to avoid putting yourself in a situation where you could fall back into old bad habits.

And yeah depression is shitty. Hope you can get the help you need OP. It may be hard but once you know what you need to do, that's like half the battle.

You are an involuntary celibate.

Fuck you, you stupid kid and your silly drama. Guess what? 9 out of 10 things don't go perfectly as planned; that's life.

Focus on your art and relax.

>ADV
wow, really? rude.

I've had offers for sex, I said no to them. I want to do it with someone I love and have known for a long time, I hate casual sex. Nice try tho

Thanks man, I really appreciate it. Regardless though, I want to talk to him. I want to at least clear up the air and apologise for hurting him, because I did say a lot of nasty stuff to him. I really do hope things work out with us, but I'm more focused on me now and my art career. Thank you so much I lm glad you can listen to me

Attached: IMG_3360.jpg (269x269, 33K)

Well, whatever happens, good luck. It’s hard for people my age to stop injecting our own experience into the mix; at some level you have to make your own mistakes to learn some of these things. I will say this much: obsessing over your virginity rather than just deciding what to do with it and sticking to your choice is a recipe for a lot of angst and mental pain.

It took me until 25 to realize that all of my panic, all of my pain, all of my suffering over trying to find love, and trying to get rid of my virginity, was self-inflicted. I was able to stop worrying, finally, for real, and finally got dates. While it took awhile from there to really finally get to that gf, and that v card, I didn’t worry about it.

>my art career

hey everyone let's look and point at this walking meme, good thing there will be some beta provider that comes along and subsidizes her life even if her BMI reaches 50

Attached: f4179f92850bc5a5.jpg (600x400, 52K)

>I want to do it with someone I love and have known for a long time
I can agree with the first point, but the second is a lot less important than you think. Or at least, in the sense that most people use "a long time", it's quite unimportant. Yes, it's fine to hold back while you're just getting to know the person (i.e., you don't need to have a one-night stand). What's foolish is to push things back just for the sake of pushing things back.

Think of it like when a guy starts obsessing over how long to wait after going on a date with a girl before talking to her or calling her. Guys who do this are, most times, trying to keep from looking desperate, which is, in fact, quite repellant to women. The problem is that these guys will apply a generic waiting period with no basis in how things progressed with the girl on the date. They fail to go with the flow, and the outcome is often that the girl loses interest. Now, from the guy's perspective, the girl must not have been that interested in or attracted to him in the first place, but that's not true at all.

The same general problem applies to women, especially virgins, who insert generic waiting periods into their relationships, because they don't want to look like whores, or don't want to commit to something too soon. While it's perfectly fine to refuse to have sex if you're committed to a religious or moral doctrine of not having sex before marriage, before engagement, whatever, where even these women fail is when they don't properly go with the flow in progressing towards engagement and marriage; when they just put the time delay on a different relationship milestone. In other words, the order of the milestones doesn't matter so much, it's the way you approach the milestones.

This one girl I went on numerous dates with, and who was always acting pretty desperate, started doing this shit, working with artificial, nonsensical waiting periods. We really liked each other, but I had to dump her. It was shit.