Why do I feel so awkward hanging out with just one person even if they're a really good friend? I absolutely love hanging out in groups and can crack jokes and be the life of the party, but when it comes out to hanging out with someone one on one it just gets awkward and feels boring. I don't know why, conversation just feels forced and like we're barely friends. It's not like we aren't friends or have nothing in common, it just doesn't feel natural or relaxed It's not that the people I am hanging out with one on one aren't compatable, we can make jokes and play off each other and have conversations in groups just not one on one. How do I get over this? I don't think I'm socially awkward since I have lots of friends and get invited to things on a regular basis, it's just when I'm one on one with a friend it just is awkward. Any ideas or help?
Why do I feel so awkward hanging out with just one person even if they're a really good friend...
You have superficial relationships, user. There's a difference between bonding with someone and passing time.
Is a very uninformed pinion of mind but the dudes answer just sounds correct anything as I know nothing about this subject so take it for any more than a hunch but yes that sound like about it
Not OP but I have a similar problem
I've learned a lot about my friends and we grew closer in group chats, but whenever I try to message them, it still feels weird
I love them and they mean the world to me, and even though I'm trying to overcome this, it still feels forced to start a conversation in dm sometimes, do I have supoerficial friendships?
Because it means you need to take the conversation to a deeper, more personal level, start asking them more complex/personal questions and you'll be amazed at the relationships that spawn.
I'm aware I'm about to sound absolutely self centered and insane and maybe I am a bit, but how do I do that, and about what. How do I even deepen that small talk with that person and get them to open up?I actually think this is a lot of the issue, since I really stick to surface level stuff all the time and ease any tension or awkwardness with a joke. Do I just ask them how they're doing? Or like why they feel a certain why or their opinion? I'm aware this sounds so self absorbed I'm just not used to those kind of conversations and feel invasive.
How do I form non superficial relationships? I have friendships and people I can hang out with, or people I have commonalities with, but I do agree maybe they aren't 'genuine'. How do I form genuine relationships? I know it sounds s self-absorbed but it's true.
What is a genuine relationship?
I'm the opposite, I feel more comfortable hanging out with just one person than a group. I think is just a personality thing, think about what makes it awkward for you and work on that.
are you me, user?
i’ve been thinking about the same thing all this week and it’s driving me nuts
>in groups we exchange a lot of bants and joke around, generally a good time
>one on one conversation always peters out into awkward silence and small talk
at this point i feel like the problem is just me not knowing how to carry on a conversation. i’m not completely devoid of social skills, i guess i’m just not that confident/witty all the time?
Either you are a shallow person, you avoid getting to know yourself, or you’re afraid of someone else seeing who you really are.
I get the feeling that social media fucked up you and OP.
care to elaborate?
Maybe, I don't really have many strong opinions and I do tend to try and be liked by everyone. I mean it seems logical to want to be liked by everyone though, who doesn't? I do use humor a lot when things get uncomfortable or at times a little too open. How do I know who I am though? Am I just fucked? Fuck, I hate this shit lmao
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel too. Maybe it's just being self absorbed? I just feel awkward when people share things with me, I want to know and talk but it's so draining and I don't know what to say. Like a friend will tell me about an issue their having and I always end up just going like "Man that fucking sucks, I guess you could do this to fix it." but I feel so disingenuous even though I do care. Man maybe I am just really shallow and self absorbed. I mean look at my response, I made it about myself. Maybe you can relate to this too, but I feel like I have to be 'on' all the time, and constantly be entertaining and cracking jokes, and having fun, even though I know I don't, it just feels awkward not to be.
I am the complete opposite. If a friend brought another than me over simultaneously, I'd immediately lose interest and excuse myself out.
I see no genuine friendship in being treated like an off-thought alternative. Focus on one person at a time or leave me alone.
What is punctuation?
What is word flow?
There are people out there that would love to be able to bond in groups/ being accepted, belonging... maybe try being happy with the way things are for you. I know thats fairly impossible feat but make the most of your things.
Also genuine relationships might be formed around trying to help that person or genuinely being interested in their welfare somehow
You don't actually like your friends, you enjoy their entertainment. There is a (subtle) difference and that's just how it is. If you genuinely like somebody, you will enjoy being with them with nobody else required.
I do take that for granted I think, I know plenty of people that are really adverse to groups or meeting new people. It just gets lonely sometimes, never really ever had a 'best friend' type relationship. Someone that I can talk for hours on end with and share everything with. Maybe I should just try and spend time with people one on one even if it's awkward, and at least try to show genuine interest in others. Ask their opinions on things, how they're doing, what they're up to. Man I am coming off completely insane and self-absorbed, I really do care about people and their well being, I just find it hard to talk about.
>bonding takes place over text
>are my relationships superficial?
genuinly interested in the other persons growth and well-being regardless of your own gain a.k.a genuine care.
But i do. I care for them more than 95% of their other friends for their well-being. And i take care of them as much as i can. Still cant seem to feel comfortable at all when hanging with one person, with some exceptions even if theyre very close to me.
Now what?