Long story short, i thought i was asexual for a long time but then fell in love with a friend who was a real shithead when i told him about my feelings.
that was years ago and while i'm over him now, i'm not over the trust issues the situation exacerbated.
but i kind of just want to get past it. i'm going to lose weight (only have 10-15 pounds to lose so I should be there in 2 or 3 months), hopefully get a new job (I have a decent job but I hate it, and I can be unpleasant sometimes because of it), do some looks maxing, and get on okcupid and tinder.
How turned off are men going to be by this? What about women?
I always find it funny when someone brings up or talks about "Asexuality" in humans. But that is not the advice you asked for OP.
Specifically you are asking for a general summery of what the public thinks of a 36 year old woman, who is out of shape and in a dead end job. The short answer, invest in cats.
The long answer. You are past your prime for child bearing so men who are looking to start a family will see you as third rate. It is a medical fact that the closer a woman is to menopause the higher the risk of pregnancy complications and malformations to the fetus. You are out of shape and old, so I can assume you are not attractive. Women to not in fact age like fine wine, but rather they spoil like milk. After 35 they sag, lose hair, bones and skin become weak as fuck. Lastly a woman's job title is irrelevant. Men do not care about what a woman does for a living, like women do about their men. Hypergamy is uniquely a female consideration. Men care about personality and looks. A long time ago men also cared about if their women had practical skills like cooking and cleaning, but apparently its sexist to expect someone who has nothing better to do with their free time, to make dinner and tidy up a bit.
Also, virgins are the worst to fuck. Instant turn off for men.
>Also, virgins are the worst to fuck. Instant turn off for men. Lol, speak for yourself, degenerate footfag.
Jose Sullivan
I don't know if this good news or bad news for you, but your age will be a bigger problem than your virginity. A 35 year old woman is going to have as hard a time getting a date as an 18 year old male, and might even need to use the same approach.
Kevin Morris
23 male not-virgin here, it legitimately doesn't matter to me, and it wouldn't even if i was dating someone 13 years my senior.
totally subjective
Matthew Allen
i like the fact that you are a virgin OP, so am i. lets help each other lose our virginity. i'm a 25yr old hispanic male. i weigh 200lbs, i'm a gym rat, i work, i have my own car (paid for), i have good credit(790 FICO), raised by a old school family, long jet black hair. i prefer a virgin. i just dont know how to describe how i feel about them. i have mother issues so your age doesnt bother me. =^)
Grats on wanting to turn your life around! It's never too late for that.
There will always be dudes wanting to fugg. The challenge is finding a decent dude... unless you just want to get it over with. That makes it easier.
At 36, user is right, you probably won't be starting a family but there are plenty of dudes down with that. Lose the weight, get that great job, and start pursuing some hobbies so that you're interesting as a person. The more interesting and confident you are, the more attractive to others you become.
In short, it's never too late to get laid. Go enjoy yourself! Sex is a ton of fun.
Christopher Gonzalez
>Also, virgins are the worst to fuck. If they're male. Female virgins aren't an issue. >How turned off Depends on what you're looking for in a relationship, you can find non-shitty people who won't care as long as you're a non-shitty person. I'm 32, still managing to land dates/sex despite being an awkward trash heap and mostly unattractive. Do you have the confidence to fuck around on okcupid/tinder? If you do, you won't have any problems.
Nolan Harris
I'm not out of shape. I'm just not chiseled. I mostly come to Jow Forums for Jow Forums when i'm in the gym. The rest is mostly true though.
I am worried about that. It seems like everyone is taken. I get hit on by 20-somethings on occasion, but they mostly disgust me (not 20 year olds in general, just the ones that hit on me) and I don't like the idea of dating younger.
thanks user!
i kind of just want a starter relationship right now. i don't know how shitty that is of me. one of the reasons i've never had a relationship was because it seemed so cruel to do that to someone, but i'm giving less of a fuck as i get older and lonelier.
Camden Hernandez
My mother had me at 37 after being told she could never have kids
I'm ugly and slightly autistic but never give up!
David Walker
> (OP) > You are past your prime for child bearing so men who are looking to start a family will see you as third rate.
BS I see lot's of attractive women's on their fifties, I would do them, I would do OP and if you don't quit being a fagot user I will do you too.
Cameron Nguyen
Just be honest with the other person about your intentions. When the time is right to talk about it, that is. Older people have an easier time talking about that kind of shit candidly, anyway, like you say.
Cooper Peterson
Yeah, I think the last guy I went out on a date with (several years ago) was strongly hinting that since we were both single and lonely, might as well be together until we met other people that suited us better, but I was still too hung up on my friend to even be in a casual relationship. Now I really wish I had taken him up on it and got that experience under my belt.
Maybe he's still single.
Eli Allen
>Maybe he's still single. Kek. Jesus, women are awful creatures. Kill yourself.
Jeremiah Russell
didn't mean anything bad by it, user. just that i should maybe check his facebook status once i'm ready to dive in.
Jacob Butler
I don't think your age is the problem. It's just that people won't think you're a Virgin. So when it comes to sex, you feel the experience. Last time I had sex it was with a virgin. The whole time I was wondering what was wrong and it wasn't good. Afterwards she told me but it kinda was obvious. So yeah...there are girls out there who really really suck in bed. You won't be worse compared to them. If you really just need to get rid of the virgin status, tinder aka the first guy available should do it. But it's likely to be a not the best experience. Otherwise just find a person you like. If you're confident with sex and willing to learn you'll improve soon.
And you could always date girls and say you never had sex with a girl. That's probably not that special. Just like you prefer....
Isaac Campbell
I can't speak from my own experience since I'm 10 years younger than you but judging from my boyfriend's mom (who is an awful person, by the way), men won't get turned off by your age, at least. She constantly kept getting new boyfriends when she was well over 40, almost 50 even. And there are plenty of people at that age, men and women, some who are divorcees, some who just never managed to find someone, who are actively looking for someone. 36 isn't even that "old" really, there are people who decide to leave their partner at 60.
The fact that you're a virgin migh seem weird to some people but I do think plenty of men would be willing to accept that. I think for a woman it's less of a problem than it would be for a man, some men might even find it admirable that you waited for the "right one". I guess you're already past the "prime child bearing age" but it's still possible, you're just gonna have to deal with the risk of possible complications (and there's still plenty of women who had children at an "older" age that turned out healthy).
As someone above said, career for women isn't really as important as for men when it comes to finding a partner, so you don't really have to worry about that as much.
Brody Ramirez
That's part of what scares me. I've had plenty of opportunities, sometimes even with guys I would have liked to fuck but I'm afraid I'm just going to be so awkward and bad at it when people assume I'm experienced. It's embarrassing.
I don't want kids, so that's not an issue for me. The career is really more for me. I feel like my job is simply boring and stressful and doesn't make me a good match for anyone since I'm always depressed.
Aiden Brown
>You are past your prime for child bearing so men who are looking to start a family... >looking to start a family >child bearing
It's like your response is irrelevant or something...
Jackson Wright
I don't want kids so the initial post was irrelevant anyway. It's fine if men who want families pass me by. They should have passed me by in my 20s too because I didn't want kids then either.
Wyatt Jenkins
Just fuck some young guys. You can't just fucking pick and choose and it would be a great experience for a shy young man. Stop being selfish.
Jayden Campbell
>I'm afraid I'm just going to be so awkward and bad at it when people assume I'm experienced. It's embarrassing. You're just gonna have to tell your partner that you're not experienced, it's not goint to be a big deal. Either he's just as unexperienced as you, in which case it's gonna be shit for both of you anyway or (more likely) he will already know what to do and might even be especially careful with you, so you can "learn" it from him. Men are often used to be the dominant ones in bed anyway, so I doubt it's going to be a big deal for him.
>I feel like my job is simply boring and stressful and doesn't make me a good match for anyone since I'm always depressed. I guess you should probably look for a new job first then, since it seems to be what's weighting most on your mind right now. And going into a new environment, you are also going to meet new people, so maybe you shouldn't worry too much about finding a partner until you have solved your job situation.
Ian Reyes
>I guess you should probably look for a new job first then
It's a chicken or egg scenario...a partner would help me get motivated to find a better job. A better job would give me more confidence to find a partner.
Elijah Bailey
I've been in this nasty trap, it's tough to get motivated if you feel like you can't motivate for just your own benefit. Somewhere you need to draw strength to just start looking for a new job. Once you get the ball rolling it'll be much easier. Find something, anything that you can use to motivate yourself. Print out a picture of someone you think is sexy and tell it every morning that you will work hard for them. Tell it to your hairbrush, your cat, your car, it doesn't matter.
Wyatt Roberts
i like this idea. thanks.
Jack Thomas
18 yr old male virgin here What approach is that?
Dominic Taylor
im not the same dude but i usually like the "we're both drunk, so hey" method
Adrian Howard
>would do old women Your lack of standards doesn’t improve OPs situation.
Julian Stewart
Numbers.
John Collins
What sucks about it is the fact that you are past that sexual exploring time, when everything is "on", you know, and you didn't even experienced sex yet... Everyone you will get, will be already tired of all this "love", I mean 40 year old men, all cynical and shit. Can you say you have been in love when you never had sex? I don't know
