Do you ever get over your first gf? Only girl Ive slept with too.
Last night I had super long and detailed dreams about her. I woke up like 3 times and it just continued when I fell back asleep.
How do I get over this lonely, empty, feeling? I don't want to have these dreams again tonight...
>Do you ever get over your first gf?
yes. date someone else
My first what?
This, fpbp, /thread
Seriously OP, it's that simple. My first gf, first girl I kissed, first girl I slept with, and for a little while, my fiancee? I was gonna move away from my home state, family, and a professional license that could earn me over $80k with little difficulty (and I'd have to spend up to 18 months to get my license in her jurisdiction). We were committing to one another, we were in love... and it completely fell apart because she was fucking crazy.
I broke up with her and moved home. Yes, at times, I still think about her. We were friends for years and years before we became lovers. But am I over her? Without a doubt. When I got home, I reconnected with old friends, went out with a few girls (didn't amount to anything), and otherwise kept busy. That's all it took.
They say time heals all wounds, but it's not just any time. It's time *well spent* that heals all wounds. Dwelling on the past with your ex won't help you. You need to move on.
I'm just happy that I had the first gf that I did. She was exactly my type and we both lost our virginity to eachother.
Moving on from any girl is rough if you've been with her for long enough.
The school of hard knocks is the only school where Women Studies is the hardest.
God I wish I could find something to occupy my time, I start college classes next month, hopefully I'll have some fun with that or at least distract myself.
Mine had 9 or so previous lovers so I can't relate to you on that sadly. She was terrible but honestly believed she had BPD just very hot and cold no warm.
I'm trying to stay positive but lately I'm feeling either sad and depressed or nothing at all, like my mind is blank and I'm just floating.
>I start college classes next month, hopefully I'll have some fun with that or at least distract myself.
Huh, starting college in May? Interesting.
Try to meet people while you're there. Like if you stay after to ask questions or something, take the time to meet the other classmates who do.
>Mine had 9 or so previous lovers so I can't relate to you on that sadly. She was terrible but honestly believed she had BPD just very hot and cold no warm.
Damn bro, it's like we were with the same girl. Mine self-diagnosed with PTSD though, even though she didn't meet the diagnostic criteria for it. So fucking stupid. I'm so glad I dumped her.
Yeah it's some intro into computer programming course at a community college, meh. I like your advice about staying after and what not but I feel like that's artificial of me. I feel that as soon as class is over I'm sure as fuck not sticking around. I have interest in anything anymore. Not even drugs or videogames.
As interesting as that would be i hope to god we didn't date the same chick. Mine was actually diagnosed with depression along with 3 or 4 other things including an eating disorder. I knew things wouldn't work out with her, not even being pessimistic. I didn't want to be long term with her or anything, she on the other hand wanted to get married, have children, ect.
Not even sure why I'm posting here. Guess I just want to get back on track, or at the very least got off whatever fucking ride I'm on right now.
>I feel like that's artificial of me
It is, but it's healthy. Learn to ask questions. It's one of the biggest regrets I have from my college days. You can learn a lot.
I seriously doubt we dated the same girl. She and I are both past 30. I'm guessing you're a bit younger.
it will take time.
That won't come off as needy or ignorant?
Yeah we're in our younger 20s. Maybe it wouldn't have burned as much if I experienced this at a younger age, I'll never know.
Going on 6 months now. It's gotten easier but here I am still on Jow Forums.
Can some user like advise me?
My first EX from 10 years ago frequents my thoughts at night. I can push her out of my mind, but she always creeps back in. My second EX not so much.
I'm in a new relationship now, and in many ways it feels like I've stepped back. I ache thinking of my ex's, and part of me thinks that I keep thinking of her because I'm unhappy in my relationship. Another thinks maybe if I got to forget about my ex, I'd be happy in my current relationship. Which side is right? Maybe neither? I want my current thing to work out but I hate that I'm aching inside some nights.
Nigga are you hi jacking my thread? Just apply what he said to your own situation.
>10 years
If I'm still feeling like this within a year I'm literally offing myself in the quickest way possible.
What about your ex are you dwelling on? Also sounds like your current partner might not be the right fit.
Then again, I'm op. I have my own clusterfuck I'm dealing with, maybe don't take my advice.
I've largely lived a depressed, horrible life following the breakup. Very few friends. I'm sure that part of why I live in the past.
I dwell on the friendship. I miss her laughing and gushing about things. I dwell on the mistakes I've made. I dwell on the fact that after 10 years I've changed and grown so much that i can see all the ways I fell short then without even realizing it, life sorta handed me all the answers. So here I am 10 years later and realizing I'm exactly who she wanted me to be back then, amd aware that without the heartache I wouldn't have changed for the better.
Oh, and I remember the breakup. I remember her saying she could never talk to me again. I always remember how cruel that rule was and how I didn't deserve it. I didn't cheat and I wasn't given a fair chance at being a friend. It was just cruel.
i only get over my ex from finding someone new or being busy with work and hobbies. so i suggest going to hang out with friends or work on a hobby or goal you have on your mind
>That won't come off as needy or ignorant?
God no. That's what the profs are there for. I mean, don't ask time-wasting questions, but don't take that statement too much to heart: You'd be surprised how few questions are time-wasting questions. Sometimes you can literally just shoot the shit with the prof at office hours.
I am completely indifferent to my first boyfriend and genuinely haven't thought of in more than a decade until this thread.
I think there's something wrong if you're this attached to an ex. It suggests that perhaps you don't have much going on in your life.
If it's any consolation, you're probably viewing the former relationship through rose coloured glasses. Exes are exes for a reason and you're failing to remember the shitty times. Focus on those a bit more and meet new people, and you'll slowly get over it.
>It suggests that perhaps you don't have much going on in your life.
This is really true, even if it sounds a bit harsh and like something you should argue with. I never felt worse about exes than when I was largely idle, both socially and intellectually.
I'll have to remember this. Thanks user.
See that's part of my problem. I have been focusing on the negative when the positive feelings come up & there's many more cons than pros. I don't want her back, it didn't work out the first time and this honestly isn't a person I want in my life. Guess it comes down to me being lonely and horney. I am a bit peeved that she's sub tweeting shit. Why break up and then complain about it? That's what she's doing.
I'm going to try and be more active. If anything I need a harsher lecture. What a fucked up way to live right?
Bump for any final advice
My ex broke up with me in September. I share the same feeling, I only miss her when I dont have much going on my life.
If I am having fun with friends, having good dates or just busy I dont give a fuck about her.
However, if I have no plans, girls I date reject me/no activity in dating apps or Im bored I start missing the times when I had her.
I don't know if these feelings will disappear eventually or not, but I'd say improving and focusing on yourself is a good way to go no matter what. Build a life you like and can be proud of, and maybe one day someone will want to be part of it.
Why did you guys break up?
She felt like she was giving too much and receiving too little from me, but basically she was very attached and dependent emotionally so it was too much for me to handle. Arguing became frequent, she was frustrated with me because I couldn't "support her" and I was tired of her shit and arguing all day so I wanted to see her less and less. In the end she left me for other guy who pumped and dumped her.
>Do you ever get over your first gf?
Yes, I've had relationships since I broke up with her in 2014, she since got married and had a kid, I still sometimes have dreams I'm still with her chilling out on the sofa watching TV.
I have these dreams even when I'm in bed with my girlfriend, there was a lot of unresolved shit that caused the end of my that relationship which plays on my mind from time to time.
Dreams are your brain trying to figure out problems, that's all, you're getting over her or something that you never resolved, you're not pining for her.
OP, if your girl had BPD, you probably have some trauma from it. I was so whipped from my BPD ex, it took me two years to get over her. I was so fucking lonely and it felt like I was just drifting.
Hey, mine was in October. Said I worked too much. Was only working 35hr weeks and still spent my off days with her.
I'm not sure what's left to figure out, maybe why she left exactly. I find her reason bullshit.
Yes I highly suspect she has it, I even asked her about it once or twice. She is diagnosed with depression and anxiety and a few other things. I think she was on 4 or 5 meds, but only took em when she felt like it.
The first girl I was with was actually using me as her prctice boyfriend so she could give better head to Chad and sex him real good (her exact words).
So yeah I cried like a little 16 year old baby and pretended I was gonna kill myself and all sorts of emo shit but then within the next couple of years I was balls deep in a girl who was better than her in every way.
My first gf and I broke up earlier this year and I don't even know how to start trying to WANT to get over her.
We're now messaging, talking and seeing each-other more than we have been for about half a year and we've been getting on great, but trying to remain friends has meant I'm falling in love with her all over again and I regularly think about trying to rekindle things with her. Shortly after it all ended I tried my hardest to cut contact with her or put space between us so I could move on but it was the most miserable experience of my life, and all I learned from it was that I need her in my life in any capacity. I like to think that most of the heartache is past and I'm okay enough to resign myself without much more to just being her friend, but that hasn't really been tested yet.
This last week we've been doing so much together that outwardly it's making people think we're a couple again, and honestly today I thought that it feels like we're just back where we were when our sex life became nonexistent. I don't know what to do.
you never do
My first gf dumped me over a month ago now. Woke up this morning after having a dream that we reconciled and we're cuddling in bed together.
Fuck me, when does this end. I always dream of her
>First major relationship went 3 years, talks of marriage and leaving the state together
>fucking in the tub
>she starts crying and tells me she cheated on me a month or so ago
>flip out, tell her to leave, drink myself to sickness that night
>she comes over a few days later and says it meant nothing
>stupidly take her back
>all trust is destroyed
>I basically watch over her shoulder for maybe a month before I've had too much
>tell her I can't do it, I can't see her as a good person again
>major depression for the next 5 years
>back to dating again
It depends on how badly you got fucked over. The one I just got out of was only a month so I'm already dating again and over her.
I'm 3 months down the line and I still dream of her.