My girlfriend has recently started a new job, she's in the gruelling training process, and it's just making her implode.
We're not in the same place, she has to wake at 5:30 am and doesn't finish until around 10pm, we barely get to talk for 10 minutes on the phone, and she is struggling to keep up with her colleagues.
And she is so negative about herself, she tells me she must be low IQ and everyone else is better. I tell her to be more confident in herself and stop putting herself down, and how this attitude serves no benefit, but she gets very frustrated at me, as if she wants me to just say "yea you're fucking dumb". Actually she is very smart, she won her place at this job through a competition and interview process against 20,000 other people. But she just won't see it.
I understand how hard it all is for her, but the issue is she is suddenly out of nowhere talking about all these problems between me and her. She's saying how it feels like we hardly talk (yes, we don't, but she's only on day 4), how distant it feels, how she feels like she's falling out of love with me.
It's like she's taking the job frustration out on the relationship or something. And it makes me worry, obviously it's extremely demanding for her, but she really just cannot handle stress or distance. How will we manage in the future. And i fear she will quit this job, but she needs it, its very good pay and is great for future career prospects.
How do you deal with someone acting like this? How do i comfort her, and convince her she isn't retarded without making her frustrated. I know she just wants to vent and be listened to but i can't stand herself putting herself down like that.