Does sex stress anyone else out?
I’m always stressed out when my girlfriend and I have sex. My biggest fear is being a father. So I’m always worrying about it. I’m always checking the condom during sex, and right before I cum I’m always thinking “please don’t break please don’t break”. As soon as I cum I pull out and go to the restroom to clean up, I put on my underwear and jump back in bed to cuddle her.
Bump
That's why I avoid one-night stands. If the girl means something to me (we connected after a date or is my gf) then I don't mind that much. However, I can't stop being a bit paranoid about that and I can't wait until men's birth control pills are a thing.
One piece of advice: ask your gf is she wants to start birth control pills and use condoms anyway. That's called double protection and it worked for me really well.
>ONS
I never do this shit. Not only is it degenerate, but it’s too scary.
>birth control
I asked about this in the past, but she has told me she first tried birth control with her ex boyfriend. But she had a really bad reaction to it and had to go to the hospital. She doesn’t want to risk that again
I'm more worried about nutting too fast or the fact that the person I'm with is not enjoying themselves.
Do you have problems with how condoms fit? Have they broken on you in the past? If so you can try a website called 'theyfit' which have condoms that are suited to your penis measurements that are only marginally more expensive than regular condoms.
The likelihood you get a girl pregnant is quite low, and even if you have a break in the condom you can always get emergency contraception from any pharmacy (it's a bit pricey but not as pricey as a kid you have to raise for 18 years). Hell, I just used to pull out before I came and never once did I have a pregnancy scare with my ex.
DO NOT double up on your condoms, that is the dumbest shit you can do because it increases friction and will lead to a break.
Honestly dude I'd just stop worrying about it so much and just enjoy yourself. Make sure your condoms fit properly and are comfortable, and you're all set.
I haven’t had any scares with condoms yet. we’ve put the Trojan ultra thins through some serious abuse and they’ve held up. I’m just very paranoid. When I say the thought of getting a girl pregnant is my biggest fear, that isn’t a joke. It terrifies me. I love my girlfriend a lot, but I just never want to be a father. So sex causes me a lot of stress
let's say in the 0.01% chance that you get her pregnant... you can just get emergency contraception or even an abortion
It is still terrifying to me. I know we would get Plan B. But it’s still very scary. Like literally when I cum in her the only thing going through my mind is “please don’t break condom”
Abortion isn’t an option
Tubes tied/vasectomy/birth control/condoms are the four horsemen of never having kids ever
I always use condoms
7+ years of condom use with same girl here. Never had it fall off, break, tear or rip once. Never had a scare.
Make sure you get a size that's good for you first and foremost. As long as you put it on well, get it lubed properly (either lube or natural girl lube) and you don't have sex like an animal tearing her vagoo up, you will be fine.
What do you buy?
No the idea is to do all four.
Used to go with Durex as they were the best brand we had available in our slav country. They were okay I guess, especially the real feel ones.
Now we're in Sweden and we using a local brand from a local pharmacy, red and white packaging, no idea what they are called. Way cheaper than Durex and they feel way better. So will not change the brand anytime soon.
Just never get the economy / bottom shelf ones and keep experimenting till you find something that feels good for both of you.
Sorry, was meant for
She won’t get her tubes tied. I’m scared to get my balls cut, she won’t use birth control because it fucked her up in the past. I buy condoms
I buy Trojan Ultra Thins. They have good reviews. My girlfriend and I have really abused them too and they haven’t broke. But it’s that 1% chance that scares me
Meh, that 1% you will have to have trust in your gf and relationship that you will do whatever needs to be done towards something good for both of you.
You have more chances dying in a car accident when going to get groceries... If it really bothers you, talk to your GF about it.
"hey, let me ask you something... what if it happened? what would we do about it" It helps greatly knowing that you are on the same page or at least you know what to expect. If anything, she should be worried a lot more than you since it's her that will have to bear the consequences (quite literally).
She said she would get the morning after pill. But even still I feel terrified. Being a father really is my worst fear. I had 1 scare when I was 19 and after that I quit having sex. 8 years later I met my gf and decided to give it a try again. I still have fear
Nigger, vasectomies are both cheap and reversible. Get a no-incision vasectomy on a Saturday, it's over in fifteen minutes, and you're back to work on Monday. Feel like having kids again? Great, just go hook your vas deferens back up and you're good as new.
Just go do it you turd.
>She said she would get the morning after pill
Then why worry about it at all?
>Being a father really is my worst fear
And since she probably knows that, if she cares about you at all, she would never decide to do anything else than what you've agreed on.
You need to rationalize it a bit.
>1% from condom
>pill has also 1-2% of failing
>worst, worst case scenario abortion has 0% failure
Given those odds, i'd say you're pretty safe.
I just don’t like the thought of getting cut
She does care about me. I just hate how I’m so scared. It takes enjoyment out of sex. She initiates sex 80% of the time.
In that case what are you going to name your first kid? I hope you have names picked out.
If it runs that deep, it sounds like it might be a phobia. You might need therapy, OP.
Oh I’m sure it is a phobia. Like I said, I avoided sex for 8 years because of this reason
Then you need therapy. You typically can't rationalize out of a phobia. It has to be treated by reprogramming how you think about it.
I don’t know how to tell a therapist that I’m 27 years old and scared of sex
seek out some form of therapy then if it's really detracting from your enjoyment of sex. Look up systematic desensitization, cognitive behavioral therapy and flooding. In your case I think you just need some cognitive behavioral therapy and you'll get over it somewhat.
you just do exactly that, you just tell him you're scared of sex. Therapists have heard it all, just make sure you get a qualified one. They'll respond with sympathy and understanding, and will try their best to help you get over your issues. It's worth the minor embarrassment of having someone know. But why should you give a fuck at the end of the day if a complete stranger knows about your situation? You've got nothing to lose by going to therapy, and hell, your situation will most likely improve as a result of it.
The literal exact same way you told us. In fact, when I was in therapy, I'd sometimes show her the Jow Forums posts I made to communicate topics I struggled to say to her but not anonymously. It worked rather well.
The thing is I don’t know what they can say to change my thinking. There is still a risk
What did she say when you showed her the posts?
>The thing is I don’t know what they can say to change my thinking.
That's why it's their job and not yours, genius.
I’m starting to get paranoid as fuck right not just thinking about all of this. Fuck
They work through it with you. You recognize that you have a problem with the way you think, because, let's face it, you're thinking is irrational. We all face risks in life, but the risk of pregnancy from sex with a condom is practically non-existent.
If you go into it with the mindset that things can get better, then you will let go of these thoughts, if not then it's going to be a little more difficult.
The first step is recognizing that what your response to the risk is completely disproportionate and irrational. Once you recognize this, then you can move on and get some help. Everyone on this thread has told you that you don't run any sort of risk of pregnancy if you use condoms (with the exception of a condom break which only really happens with aggressive, under-lubricated sex with a condom that does not fit properly).
So in short:
- Recognize that your thoughts and feelings towards this issue are irrational, as all of the anons on this thread have pointed out
- Seek help in the form of therapy, preferably in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy with a certified therapist.
- Talk through the issue with your girlfriend so that she can understand how you're feeling, but don't burden her too much with your problem.
That's it man, there's not much more anyone else can do on this thread to help you if you aren't willing to examine your own thoughts and help yourself.
>What did she say when you showed her the posts?
Normally she'd just ask further questions until she found an exercise or something to do.
You're a pathetic paranoid retard. I dont say that because of your fear or knocking up your gf. I say it because of your hypocritical begging for help and then rejecting every option we give you. If you dont want to fix yourself thats fine, this ain't our hill to die on. Just fuck off and give the people who actually want to fix themselves some bandwidth you selfish cunt.
Its the risk that you are taking, there is a very small chance that it will happen, instead of being scared of that just think of what you will do if it were to happen, even though it probably wont, would it really ruin your life, I dont know you but what are you planning on doing that a baby would ruin, if you plan on doing those things than I hope you are in the process of getting there right now, then after that if you do have an accident it wont be as bad.
If you dont want to have a kid thats fine, thats not what my comment is about, you know what you are doing, you should either be okay with it or deal with whats causing that anxiety.
Am I the only one who thinks that condom is not reagular sized?
store your sperm in a sperm back or some shit, then get a vasectomy
it's cheaper than having to raise a child for 18 years
So I took about 20 bags of those free condoms selections that they put in public bathrooms. My girlfriend is half a world away so I've been doing science.
I can split a condom if I use my nails and get it just right (edges together). Nails are as hard as teeth, nail biting leaves teeth jagged and dented. Breaking them on any kind of skin seems really hard and the skin in the vagina is like the inside of a cheek.
>refuses to use birth control
You better hope none of her friends have children, or else she'll be punching holes in your condoms soon enough
I nutted into my gfs pussy 5 times this month, on ”safe days”.
We’ll see how that goes.
Personally, i would be suprised if she’s not pregnant, but on the other hand i think she would be happy if she got a child.