My girlfriend went on a girls trip to South America with 3 of her friends. This trip came out of nowhere and I was shocked when she told me she was going. She has been gone a week now, and will be gone for two more. She got a phone plan so we can stay in touch as well.
Building up to the trip she explained it to be a nature excursion, exploring mountains, hikes, volcanoes, beaches etc. Lots of outdoor activities. However, since she left it has been nonstop pol parties, late night bars, hostel parties and drinking, and goof out with new people and other travelers.
Our communication was also really bad and there would be 6 hour gaps in between messages or I would just get one full day recap message at 3am.
Eg. “Hey babe we’re just going out to get some food message you soon when we come back” (7pm)
(3am) “hey babe! Sorry for the delay we went for food and met some other travelers while eating and they took us to a bar and we stayed there’s for a while and then went down to the beach and we’re just got back now” etc etc
Naturally I’ve been quite stressed seeing her with pictures of new guys and other party people.
Yesterday she said they were doing a bus tour, but the tour got canceled so they might check out a pool party at s hostel, to which she said that was cancelled too. I asked what they would be doin but got no reply for 6 hours until she replied saying sorry they actually did end up going to another pool party and that they’re there now.
My heart keeps sinking due to all this constant partying and being left on hold for a reply or update, so I said I want to stop communication for a couple days but once I showed some anger and called her out on this so called “nature trip” she started getting very upset saying shes heartbroken because She hasn’t done anything wrong and can try focus on her trip knowing I’m upset but says I’m only upset for my own mind and what I’m worrying about and that it’s all in my head.
I don’t know exactly what my question is, but have any of you been in this situation before? Am I in the wrong for being upset?
Adam Smith
Chill. You know she is on vacation. People rarely get to go places outside of their work and home. Just trust that she is being true to you unless some evidence comes up otherwise.
Maybe go on a small trip yourself for 3 days to relax? Maybe you are jealous?
Austin Richardson
no your not wrong for being upset that your gf staying out all night at bars and ghosting you for hours. but is she cheating on you i can't say for sure. ask her if she did when she gets back if she protests to much she probably did.
Chase Johnson
Dont ruin the tripfor her by flipping now. It willkill the relationship. However it sounds like she is being pretty shady and I can empathize with you on the anxiety you are having. When she gets back you should talk to her about why her actions made you feel on edge. However, I wouldnt be surprised if she is already checked out.
Adrian Bailey
She is on a holiday just let her have fun with her friends, don't sit by your phone waiting for replies and go out and do things you normally don't do because she isn't interested in them.. this is a holiday for you as well. If you don't trust her to party without getting with another guy that's a deeper problem for your relationship, but don't ruin her holiday because you are jealous and can't entertain yourself. sorry if it sounds harsh but it's true.
Lucas Taylor
we went the last two years on a two month trip through south east asia jan feb of 2016 and 2017 so she does get to travel. i will do my best to try and relax it just gets hard, i will think about the small trip.
will do
i think i may have put a damper on it, i let my emotions best me the other day when talking to her but I was just so caught up in rage and confusion.
Austin Clark
What I find fucked is that anyone with half a brain would know that something like this would freak most boyfriends out. Yet they go ahead and do it with no regard to their partner and then act upset when the partner is freaked out that their gf is partying with random guys every night in another country. Whatever happened to decency?
Jaxson Walker
this tbqh. I mean now that it happened OP has to suck it up, obviously, but the way his gf started this out of nowhere without any kind of tact or sympathy would definitely unsettle me as her bf.
Jacob Nguyen
That she has gaps in the communication is not a big thing if she apologizes for it, I cannot enjoy vacations when I'm all the time on my phone too.
The pool party and bar with strangers stuff is a 100% sign she cheats on you, everybody sane knows that this is something you do not do with your partner half a world away.
Oliver Edwards
3 weeks out of nowhere? She's probably getting fucked by other dudes Tell her to fuck off
Josiah Johnson
fuck off roasties the pool parties and bars are definetly fucked up I mean if she went there to hike and see the nature why the fuck does she party all night long so often
Ethan Moore
Depends on which country she went to. If it's Chile, Uruguay Argentina or Brazil (if she's into BLACKED) then yes, she's getting her soul fucked from the inside out. I'm deeply sorry man, but shit happens. You gotta be strong and move on.
Anthony Roberts
dump her now and cut contacts immediatly, you fucking retard.
Charles Walker
Off the top of my head your chances at being the only one are slim to none. Shes def had it in with one or a few, all things considered. Plans change and people find themselves in your life or in your bra. Discussing this with each other is a way to welcome that info easily in the future as a way to accomodate to yourself the need that you may require a new woman soon. Also that she may take offense to you being a caring and doting SO is kind of childish and makes it all seem rather unsophisticated that she could drag herself to the half end of the world and continue to disgrace your image by being so sullen about you wanting to know what its like on that end of the planet. Issues that may be cause for grievance are how well you take to males in her sake as to how many men she actually knows out of life that she could be so regularly accustomed to enjoying the company of such strange and exotic individuals as people from way past the equator and about volcanos and shit. Itd be like you going to vegas and hanging with strippers an expecting that she be okay with it. You think those places dont develop because they have a high ratio of nice guys that keep getting fucked over and set on fire on a grand scale? Its that people point the pedestal at the sun and expect to see daylight when its the least possible scenario that she could keep to a relationship as healthy by adjourning to concede that you have reason to suspect something may be wrong when shes so easily taken to disguising mistakes in her judgement as something that "just happens" when you visit costa rica or where ever the fuck she is. You better check she didnt bring over the husk of some infidel in her by reminding yourself that she was most prominently yours before she left and that no volcano, unless it went in her, or hamburger meat or potato patch could ever set your nasty ass american stench higher than the boil she might set the food she chugged by the boatload could properly make you trust her.
Joseph Murphy
Womens bodies just dont forget things like the men in their lives and exotic genders of that sense only serve to fulfill the flavor of it and not extend it. She cant possibly be hinting that things are not what youd expect and still want you to be happy that things are kind of like at home just around a bunch of strangers, many of whom happen to be men.
Isaac Williams
By the sound of this she was probably having sex while on the phone or during the texting process. Internet devices work that way and especially iphones. The thing with that is that most people just dont understand that they work this way. Like that youd ever feel any sort to change the emotion to a fit of rage is the understanding that something out there is way out of whack. People dont just rage. Other people or events of frustration bring them to it. Seriously like wear all kinds of alcohol of colognes on you when she comes back if you can stomach to fool yourself that far and make sure she understands that the burn on her body are not cause youre an asshole but because that nasty bitch is scraped and churned the butter deepness all over and that shit is being rectified with a sensation and no longer the sense that she simply might be. By then she certainly will have been. And you would have more than enough of the understanding that you shouldnt touch her anymore. It'll be devastating to reel in to yourself that deep and still want to manifest a belief. Shits deep yo.
Andrew Cruz
Why do you think she's cheating just because she's having fun on a trip? Does she drink and party when in her home country? Seems like you're a bit paranoid. I'm just wondering how much fun she'd have exploring a new country and various sites when constantly on her phone texting her insecure boyfriend all-day.
I mean maybe she is a promiscuous cheater, only you know her character not us. But you seem a bit like an insecure stick in the mud.
Thomas Rivera
You know exactly what's happened OP and so you came to Jow Forums with a sliver of hope, but you know what you need to hear. She's in some other country fucking other dudes because that's what these girl's trips are. You know what a girls trip to the bar is right OP? Why would you think this is any different? I'm sorry but this is one of the things I didn't listen to my own instincts once and I got burned really fucking badly. Don't be me.
Blake Parker
It's weird. The concept of taking off for a 3 week trip isn't *necessarily* breakup worthy. I mean I'm big into travel and a loyal person, so if my lads could squeeze me into some trip last second I'd take it.
The thing is the parties. I don't think single people should be bar hopping and going to pool parties fueled with booze and sexual tension. To be fair I ended up in a HUGE party scene in college, and I was pretty conservative. I found a way to navigate parties in a way that didn't make me seem like a party pooper, but also wasn't doing anything a gf would ever consider borderline cheating. So if I made the decision to run off to South America with friends for 3 weeks at the last minute, but I got there and realized they just wanted to party, I would react by tapping into my old college mode. I'd get drunk, have a good time, but my arm wouldn't be around any girls in the jacuzzi. And I would respect my gf enough not to give her all the details. I wouldn't lie, but I'd minimize it by saying "I'm kind of dissapointed, all my friends want to do is go to these hostel pools and socialize, and check out bars/pubs. It's fun, but I'm bored with this college stuff. I miss ya babe, I'll call you when I can."
The fact that your gf seems to be rubbing it in your face raises some red flags in my book. Are there any issues in your relationship? Regardless, I would be honest with her about it when she comes home, and see how she reacts.
Jayden Long
Legit break up dude, she's fucking other guys down there and you're a complete idiot if you can't see that
Michael Rogers
you are either in love with this girl or a faggot who cant stop thinking how she sucks other dick because yours is tiny
you cant do anything about it, the only thing i see thats wrong is she could have told you earlier and she knew earlier so thats a bit shady
mine went on trips alone and havent accidentaly tripped into another mans dick somehow
Isaiah Rodriguez
She lied to you about the outdoor activities. She's consciously doing shady shit. If this was the other way around she would be cursing your mother.
It's totally reasonable that you're worried Don't be a fool, she's fucking other guys and doing stupid shit down there. It's not your fault op, you don't have to put up with someone else's bullshit even if it is your GF, life is short, don't waste it.
Jonathan Perry
the only remedy to this is..............side chick.
Eli Martin
When you're young, boy or girl, you should travel and enjoy and as you see and do new things in foreign lands you become far removed from home so a daily minute by minute recounting becomes less important. Its not intended to be disrespectful but not top of mind.
That said, I do empathize with a partner left at home, not on the ride but waiting or going through the normal daily grind. Just know, it is very easy to hook up with any one, anywhere, anytime and it doesn't take being on a different continent to do so. The only thing that will keep your gf's panties on is maturity and commitment to you something in short supply while you are young.
If you want to stop worrying about this you need to go out yourself and enjoy the free pass. She will hook up, you may or may not ever know, you will not be able to stop it.
Nathan Morales
Dump her. But post a pic of her before you do, I want to see what the likelihood is she's cheating on you.
Henry Brown
Even if she isnt fucking other men, its bad news and too many red flags.
If i were you, in your shoes i would text her this right now.
“Hey ________, i hope you’re enjoying your trip. I feel its become clear that we need to start seeing other people. Have a safe rest of your trip.”
Then block her number and drop off any if her positions off at her friends house.
Be free, shes a manipulator and that shit doesnt stop and issnt limited to a silly vacation. The girl is trash.
Jayden Parker
Lol, why wouldnt you want to kill her trip, he owes her nothing at this point. He should send her picks of the hot hooker he hired in her absence.
Jordan Phillips
What in heavens are you trying to say? Is English your fifth language?
Kayden Jackson
It's too bad that women are such whores now that we instantly suspect them of fucking anything that move when they're out of sight for more than 24 hours.
I was lucky to hook up with a very traditional Asian girl a long time ago. I don't worry about her doing stuff at all when she's overseas. It's just something she would never do because she was brought up very conservatively and the idea would never occur to her. She wouldn't want to feel like a whore.
But I know times have changed, even in Asia. Younger more westernized women are almost as slutty as their western sisters.
Noah Reyes
I had a similar experience, only she was gonna be gone for 3 months. During the last month she called me over Skype and said that she had cheated on me and that she would stay for another 3 months. However, she was a degenerate whore and at the time I was pretty pathetic, so if you're in a different situation you probably don't need to worry.
If she cheats she has done you a favour by showing you her true colours. Better that than you preventing her to cheat by hounding her when she is the cheating type.
Kayden Long
Seeing all these fellas giving support to OP is just beautiful, Jow Forums is such an amazing forum.
you should see the adv in the 'How do I stop the suicidal thoughts?' thread.
Cooper Mitchell
Dump the fucking whore, don't trust any single whore here trying to defend her. Lmfao at even thinking going for a several month trip with your "gurls" when you're in a relationship. What a stupid slut good lord.
Bentley Long
>being with a whore who goes to clubs/parties/engages in degenerate normie behaviour Don't give up on decent girls, anons, they exist.
Benjamin Allen
He’s stressed because he said his girlfriend is partying hard and taking pictures with Chads.
Even if I liked partying, I wouldn’t go spend drink around random women if I had a girlfriend
Kayden Mitchell
Lol, she's fucking a lotta dudes. Sorry OP.
Nolan Moore
i think it's because most of us experienced something of the sort so we know the pain
Julian Green
Hey everyone, OP here
Thanks for all the responses, had nobody to talk to and didn’t even know if it would get much response here. She doesn’t seem like the type to cheat but idk I could be being nieve about it all, but the actions she’s taking do have me more than worried. Love you all, even the trolls.
James Gonzalez
This too true. Young people like OP's girl sometimes seem to think everything is alright because they don't cheat. They don't touch anyone but go partying like they're single and their partner had to put up with it because "why can't you trust me this is your own problem"
Jayden Myers
Is this some like fat girls sense of what cheat "encapsulates"? Like literally when the fuck did you come to learn that cheating just feels like it but isnt it if you can just kind of agree it isnt?
Juan Moore
>gf is this much of a nonchalant whore hey user.... user... maybe reconsider your choice? she sounds like absolute TRASH, but it doesn't seem like you're the same. I say get out RN.
Angel Myers
break up
who knows whether she's cheating or not, but there isn't trust there.
just ghost her, or only reply after she texts you. go out and have fun (don't fuck other chicks yet).
when she gets back, tell her that you realized you two aren't right for each other and dump her.
but you can start checking out emotionally now.
Adrian James
>My girlfriend went on a girls trip to South America with 3 of her friends. >South America 100% cheating
Wyatt Richardson
Cheating or not the way she approached this whole ordeal is quite unbecoming. Announcing a surprise trip out of nowhere and not inviting you under the pretext of a girls only trip? Not giving updates very often when asked about her safety? Telling you how shes bar hopping and partying every night when the trip was supposed to be about exploring the wild? Even if she isn't actually cheating at all it wouldnt fly with a lot of people.
Julian Campbell
Well why don't you get a disguise, fly down there, and spy on her OP?
Hunter Young
Things that are ok >Vacations and trips without your significant others >Hanging out with friends without your significant other >Not constantly updating your SO via text
What's not ok >Going to massive parties where people will be drinking and hooking up without your SO >Telling your SO that you're going on a trip for one reason and end up not doing it at all >Her hanging out and taking pictures with new dudes
Luis Cruz
Theres not much you can do besides just trust her. I know it might suck but it's the way it is, try to go out and have fun yourself. Do you trust her? Any reason to think she would cheat?
Do not show weakness user.
Ian Jackson
>goes on girls trip, parties with dudes instead
You know what to do OP
Nicholas Martin
>tells you it's going to be a nature trip >goes on parties instead VERY fucking fishy >called her out on this so called “nature trip” she started getting very upset saying shes heartbroken because She hasn’t done anything wrong and can try focus on her trip knowing I’m upset but says I’m only upset for my own mind and what I’m worrying about and that it’s all in my head. If she wasn't cheating on you before she will definitely use this incident as justification to cheat on you now. Just dump her.
Evan Barnes
Hate to break it to you, OP, but chances are she is cheating on you. I've lived the "hostel lifestyle" in South America for over a year, stayed in many, worked in a few, so I've seen a lot. Obviously there is no certainty about this but in the moment you said "nonstop parties, bars, etc" I could envision how this plays out..sorry OP, but this isn't the type of trip that girls are supposed to do on their own when they are in a commited relationship
Lincoln Clark
Had the same thing happen to me, girl I was on/off with fucked off to Bali to "find herself", found this surfer guy instead, broke up with me by email (lol), got pregnant, is now back home in our country without him but with a little kid living the single mother lifestyle, every once in a while i get a text asking to meet which i nonchalantly ignore. However, I was a pretty big asshole to her back then and also in general, the whole incident kind of helped me to get my life back on track and I kinda feel sorry for her, she wasn't malicious or anything, just tired of being screwed with i guess. Hope she's alright!
Jack Reyes
Hey man I know you're getting a shit ton of different advice and I kinda had a similar situation. I travel a lot and I'm pretty young so if I was ever dating anyone they'd be worried about me being true. I'd text then when I could it was more often than your gf does cuz I understand why they'd be stressed. I've also had it the other way and sometimes when my GF would be abroad if it'd take her awhile to text me I'd just fuck off somewhere without my phone. I'd hang with friends or go rock climbing. I'd be gone for hours and by the time I'd get back home I'd have messages from then wondering what I was doing. You can play games too OP
Adrian Scott
this, besides OP you got to think that the reason these things happen is when a girl does something like this some idiot always rolls over to let themselves get used. take a stand for yourself, help fight the problem so other people wont have to go through it
David Murphy
>do not show weakness >allow strumpet to run all over your integrity
>met some other travelers while eating and they took us to a bar shiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeet you just got cucked the fuk out only rich male travelers with charismas would do this I, myself, knowing no one else in a foreign country would do this, or given a chance on a cruise, I'd hit up some other passengers for a good time at the bar and then happy ending.
Joseph Phillips
I mean you're out at sea, and you're with a buncha strangers, and the only thing you have in common is that you come from the same continent. You see big titted Courtney and her friend Ashley and Becky walk in and out of the room next to yours on the way to the pool, it's mating season dawg. And that's gonna be a a great time in their lives, what happened at the trip stays at the trip and all the girls are gonna cherish those memories. That's like the most ideal time, with low stakes to get laid.
Jordan Gutierrez
When women get together, they do wicked things.
Isaiah Cox
Have some goddamn self-respect and drop her ass, OP. Like, right now, before she gets a chance to do it herself. The pitiful "O-oh no, y-you're not cheating on me, a-are you?" attitude is playing the game on her terms. Be a man. There are plenty of other women out there who won't treat you like garbage, so don't waste your time on the ones that do. Whether or not she's actually cheating on you doesn't matter, it's the disrespect towards you and the relationship that the two of you have that should be disconcerting.
Bonus points if you're already dating someone else when she shows up pregnant and tries to guilt trip you into raising some other guy's baby. Don't give her the satisfaction, friend.
