Girlfriend of a 1 year and 2 months wants to take a break to explore her other options

user she's breaking up with you. She just wants to be sure you're there if she regrets any of it. Leave her and cut all contact. She's trying to make you a cuck. I'm sorry user.

Excellent. Now delete and block her number and move on. She'll probably send you a 'how's it going'? message every now and then to keep you on the hook. Don't fall for that bullshit. You need to cut her out of your life completely.

If she really really wants to get back with you in the future, she'll find a way to contact you. But it's not your job to leave the door open. Shut it and go take care of yourself, user.

OP you might love your gf very much, but let's define this clearly for you: She's literally planning on cheating with you and asking for your permission. She isn't serious, or in the same psychological place as you. Two completely different levels.

Seriously, you should respect yourself enough to be offended and repulsed by what she's doing. If you want a serious relationship where she dedicates herself to you, that's not ever going to happen with her in this mindset. I wouldn't try to change her mindset, because the fact that she got into this mindset to begin with means she's not good enough for you.

Ghost the bitch. Love isn't as important as maintaining your integrity and self-respect.

I know that I should be offended and repulsed and it should be easy for me to say fuck you bitch and move on and not give a fuck. But I don't understand why I'm not.

I mean you're attached to her, you had a relationship that lasted over a year. That's a huge deal, so it make sense. Serious beliefs that we build our lives upon, like the trust of loved ones, is hard wired enough into our brains that it takes time for your brain to adapt to overcome delusions. I.e., you know that your girlfriend is trying to pull some shit on you, but the structures of your brain which are responsible for bonding with a lover don't know that. They need to learn by you separating yourself from her.

Trust me, this is a huge part of growing and maturing when it comes to relationships. Being able to see people you once loved in a flawed light, being able to see flawed people in a loving light, etc. The separation of your emotions and your free will, ie, controlling how you see things and how you feel about them, is a skill people are always getting better at as they grow up and time brings on new challenges.

I would explain it to you like this: you are in total control of how you feel, you just don't know it. That feeling you feel towards your girlfriend right now, that love, is something you can choose to give to people. You can choose to give it to whoever you is willing to accept it. You just need to overcome your own insecurities and fears of being by yourself before you can do that. It's a really hard thing to do OP, I was in a life rut caused by similar events and that lasted a little over a year. Life can be hard. Just know you're in my thoughts tonight.

Man thank you so much. I know that I need to move on and everything, but it really is so difficult to not contact her, I've been trying to reach out to her so many times the last few days and we talk for a bit but it doesn't really do any good. One part of me wants to move on and everything like everyone is saying. The other part refuses to let go and will try anything and everything to get her back.

I'm afraid one day soon she will come back to me begging me to take her back and I feel like I would if she did that.

Is there anything you can suggest that I do day to day to help me to deal with missing her and wanting to message her. I try to keep myself busy but my mind always finds its way back to her.

Can confirm this will happen, and usually it's when the guy she dumped you for cuts her off. Also, this reach out she'll do is most likely an ego boost for her. From the break up til the day your life is over she is a fuck buddy at best. You need to reply back with a polite, straight to the point, yet indifferent response.

"Hey, id love to see you and catch up, when are you free to grab a drink?"

If she replies back and accepts set a definite date. Catch up with her and basically set up a scenario for sex to happen, that's it. No labels, no "what are we" talk just sex.

If she declines or has to check her schedule after you send that text close with "Hey when you figure out your schedule send me a message and we'll grab a drink, i have a busy day ahead of me, gotta run" NO MORE TEXT AFTER.

You only ask her out for drinks TWO times after getting rejected, after that it's 3 - 5 very short texts between the both of you, ending with "Hey it's been great talking to you I have a lot to catch up on, keep in touch" NO MORE REPLIES.

You want to show that you're happy with or without her and that you're time is valuable.

1 of 3 things will happen.

1. She'll accept and set a date, you fuck her and afterwards don't contact her, when she contacts you afterwards, rinse and repeat, she's your unspoken fuck budy.

2. She continues to text you (worst of the 3). You send the 3 - 5 short text and close with the message I posted above. EVERY. TIME.

3. She stops contacting you

Master this shit and by the end of it all you will be indifferent and genuinely not give a shit about her

Godspeed.

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>Is there anything you can suggest that I do day to day to help me to deal with missing her and wanting to message her.
Fap until you forget

It'll take time is the one thing I can say. You need to be able to find ways to distract yourself, find ways to occupy your time, find ways to accept her leaving your life.

See within a few weeks if you notice things starting to turn around. It won't feel completely good by then, but if you feel like you're headed in the right direction, follow that feeling. Just know that although it hurts at first, eventually the part of you that loved her will just kind of die and become irrelevant. But by then, you will be in a different place in life experiencing new joys.

This is just a fact of life. Things change pretty quickly in modern society, much faster and in different ways than what our brains are adapted for at birth. However, our brains are capable enough to, over time, adapt to new situations and recover from trauma; and eventually, well adjusted adults learn to handle tragedy as an every day part of life. Something this severe will, one day, be something that you will be able to handle well without this much emotional toil.

The one thing I can do is say be patient with yourself. Don't judge yourself or feel any shame, don't criticize yourself or dwell on your emotions. It will take time to get over her, so don't judge yourself for not being over her. And always be smart. When you feel an urge to reach out to her, recognize that you're experiencing an emotion, promise yourself you won't act on it, wait for the emotion to subside, and move forward. Work towards understanding yourself and developing a rational strength to use your emotions to your advantage.

If you're anything like I was when my girlfriend dumped me, I was a mess. I just want to hug that version of myself, he was in so much pain. I hope you're doing better than I was.

I just want you to know that you'll be okay, that regardless of how much pain you're experiencing, if you're patient, things will turn up.

Truly I am miserable man. Thoughts of her creep into my head at every moment. Earlier this week I had to walk out of a test in class because my head just wouldn't stop and I could not focus. Thankfully my professor said I could retake the test at a later time after I explained the situation.

I will try to not reach out to her, honestly that is the hardest part. I keep feeling like if I just keep trying, if I just say the right things, maybe she will remember how special what we have is and she will snap out of it and just stay with me.

Pretty much this ghost her, don't let her into your life and walk away. You'll be dodging a bullet

that last part isn't true. You won't say the right things and she won't remember anything about what you had unless you make her realize what life is like without you. You need to grieve but also develop the strength to move forward. I know how hard it is, trust me. I know for me it was harder than it is for most by far, so if you have it better than I did than I'm happy, but if you have it the same/worse know I understand and respect the pain you're going through. Trust me when I say that with time, the parts that make this hard will go away. You just need the strength to make it through this very distressing period.

OP you should break up with her first. She's trying to basically ensure that she can go off and fuck other dudes and you'll still be there waiting if she ever wants to come back. She clearly isn't respecting you as a person at all, even if she does still say she loves you. The best thing you could ever do for yourself at this point is be very strong and break up with her. If you don't, there's nothing only hurt and humiliation in your future. I'm not trying to be cruel, I feel for you bad and I'm trying to help. You deserve so much better OP, and it's out there for you.

Thank you so much bro. Theres a lot of history and some pretty painful shit happen the last few weeks. I'm not going to message her again after the text I sent her. Is it reasonable for me to expect her to apologise to me before I even consider replying to her? Like waiting until there is some sort of apology and not just "Hey hows it going" or "I miss you" blah blah.

Thank you aswell man. I don't really have to option to "break up with her first" as this is something she has said she is adamant about doing so I don't really have a choice in it.