How does beer taste?

How does beer taste?

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It tastes like your mom's ass.
What is up with all the kids posting lately? Did I miss something.

terrible. If you've ever smelled urine soaked into a thick carpet, it's like that but in your mouth.

The first times I drank it I thought it tasted stale, the way carbonated water can be stale when it's left so long the carbonation is virtually gone. It has a watered down bitter taste.

Now that I'm used to it, it's kind of refreshing in a savory way. I only started growing to like it once I knew what I was in for. Not a great description but describing a flavor is difficult, it doesn't taste quite like anything else.

It tastes slightly malty in most cases. It is a bit of an acquired taste

It's summer, summerfag.

amber ale tastes good. stouts taste good.

they taste like the flavors theyre brewed with.

now, cheap beer for the purpose of getting drunk? yeah, that’s piss.

and sometimes people want a beer that doesn’t taste good. I kind of like Modelos.

think of all those guys drinking congac. good congac is has an aftertaste of something youd find under a sink, maybe some organic hippie drain cleaner

It tastes like carbonated fermented grains.

No, like, actually.

Eat some raw oats, cut the sweet note out, and replace it with a slight sour note, and then move that sweet note to the back of the profile.

It's not bad. A quality beer can be quite nice. Cheap beer is usually fairly flat, lacks the carbonation, and doesn't have that deep sour note.

Depends on what your drinking.

Think of Soda.

Coca tastes almost nothing like Sunkist.
Dr Pepper tastes almost nothing like Sprite
But they all still are carbonated sweet beverages.

In that same vein,

Stouts (coffee and chocolate based) taste nothing like lagers (the cheap stuff everyone drinks like Corona, coors, Budweiser, etc are lagers)
Lambics (sweet/sour fruit based) taste nothing like IPA (bitter hip based)
But they’re all alcoholic drinks that have an underlying almost bitterness taste (just like soda has a sugary taste)

Is that true for all of them? No. There are soda that do not taste like any other soda, the same way there are beers that do not taste like any other beer.

There are three major types of beers: lagers, ales, and stouts. They all taste different, but a common trait that they all share is that they're bitter. Beer is a bitter drink, think like black coffee. But some beers, depending on the brand, are actually tasty (once you acquire a taste for them, again like coffee).

Lagers are the most common beers. They're the Bud lights, Coors, and Rolling Rocks etc. Most lagers tend to be very smooth, i.e. they don't have many additives. I would describe their taste as if you soaked bread in mineral water. Ales, vary greatly, but generally they tend to have a much more pronounced taste. Some of them can taste very "earthy" or complex (like a cold tea). Some ales are genuinely tastey, and some are not... IPAs (India Pale Ales) are very overpowering and not for noobs -- stay away from them.

Stouts are fermented further than other beers; they're thicker and much more complex (and bitter). They're black like coffee and have big foam heads. Some of them can take on, again, very complex "earthy' tastes. And some of them just taste like burned coffee.

I would recommend that you start on very light beers like Rolling Rock or Natty Ice. They're the ones that just taste like yeasty mineral water. After a case or two of them, move onto Shock Top. Shock Top Ales are not really regular beers. They brew them with different flavors like orange or lemon peels. They're very noob friendly. If you're feeling adventurous then pick up a case of Guinness (the Stouts), but just be warned, they're the hardest taste to acquire. I couldn't get into them until I drank 300 or more lagers/shock-tops. Even to this day, I don't like a stout unless I'm in a certain mood or I'm very dehydrated and I wander into an Irish pub.

Well I don't know if this was informative for anyone. For the record, I'm not a beer guy. I'm a guy that drinks beer, but I don't buy fancy shit, because I'm not a snob; and also I don't want to spend $13 on pretentious microbrew shit

Yeast

The cheap shit? Greasy piss.
I recommend going to "International Marketplaces' that're typically 90% Chinese goods and picking up some of their imported beer on the cheap. Depending on the level of inner city they typically don't card.

Like for just a moment I'll get to forget what a dumbass loser I am

One good option is to go to a good beer pub. You don't have to go often, but you will discover some really good beers. You don't have to be a snob to appreciate a fine beer once in a while...

Fucking great but you have to get over the idea that everything has to taste sweet and go down easy, beer is one of many sophisticated pleasures for adults

Beer generally is something you enjoy more as you get older, when i was first socially drinking at 15 or so we only ever drank beer if it was the last option, because we much preferred just chugging cheap casked wine or mixing lots of soda with liquors. As i got closer to 18/19 mostly still preferred sweeter drinks, but drank beer because i felt like it was the norm and i had to, but now at 23 i actually prefer the taste of a good pale ale over any sort of alcopop sugary shit i used ot drink as a kid discovering alcohol.

I'm Irish and when I go to the pub (which is pretty rare) I usually have 4-6 pints of guinness.
It really is an acquired taste but it does grow on you.

Only annoying thing about Guinness is it takes forever for them to pour one out on tap because they have to keep resting it. Ausfag btw.

Just try it, it's not gonna kill you.

It tastes like your dad's sweaty balls.