>first ever gf - we had crushes on each other and started dating >week after going official >making out on my bed >I have my hand on her inner thigh and I start slowly going towards you know where >she grabs my hand >"What are you doing? No. Hell no." >I laugh it off, not gonna go there >Keep making out >Pushes me away and says she's gonna leave >"You tired?" >"Yea" >realize it's because of what I did >mention it >"I was just teasing" >"That was not teasing!" >Say I'm sorry >she says "I'll talk to you tomorrow" and leaves >apologize over text immediately >she says it's ok and that she's sorry for freaking out >apologize in person again the next day >feel like shit, I'm look pretty defeated in front of her >she says it's ok and that it's not a big deal >breaks up with me the day after I apologized (in person) >isn't open with me at all, gives some "it's not you, it's me" stuff >"I'm just not comfortable right now" >"I don't think this is going to work" >ask if it was because of what happened >"Well, that's only part of it" >still streaks on Snapchat and is willing to be friends
Ok, what the fuck? I feel like a fucking sleazeball. How do I deal with feeling like a creep? Why did she not cut me off completely? Are girls just really this afraid of hurting guys? She even said she was non-confrontational. She probably told her friends and they freaked out, right?
Yes, I know I should move on, but I need to know what the fuck just happened. Insight?
She's a cocktease. You're an idiot. Learn your lesson. Forget about her.
William Hughes
Sounds like you guys are in high school,but benefit of the doubt regardless. You did what a lot of guys do, you tried to escalate. Sounds like you did it too early for her. Sure, she overreacted a bit, but you also probably shouldn't have tried to score with her a week after being official. There's no saving this, obviously, so just learn to figure out boundaries first next time before trying to make a move.
Brayden Ortiz
>Sounds like you guys are in high school,but benefit of the doubt regardless.
We're college freshmen
That's pretty much what I concluded. It's just that we had been together like 5 weeks total, including 1 week official. We had been making out and things beforehand.
Ryder Gonzalez
You were way too much of a faggot and she picked up on it. You apologized for being a man. You looked a girl dead in the eye and said sorry for doing what every other guy in the world does. You could have looked her in the eye and called her a cocktease. Or when she says "I'm leaving " you could have said "good, my next girlfriend is coming over and she actually puts out". You have to understand that women are attracted to confident and masculine men. A confident and masculine man would just find another girl, even if you don't want another girl you make her think that you can and will. My Girlfriend thinks that if she broke up with me I'd be happy because she honestly believes that I'm this perfect man who could be with any girl.
Leo Long
Sounds like she was molested
Hunter Peterson
You didn't do anything wrong but sounds like she doesn't wanna fuck. Respect that. If you're looking for sex find it somewhere else. She also sounds like she's got some issues and you probably don't wanna deal with that shit.
Connor Evans
Get out and don't look back. It's okay that she isn't ready to escalate things physically but the fact she can't explain this to you like a rational person is a huge red flag.
Nolan Turner
OP didn't do a single thing wrong, assuming he stopped once she told him "no," she clearly overreacted.
Wyatt Thomas
>Trying to score in a relationship after barely knowing the chick
Yeah, he TOTALLY didn't do anything wrong, sure. Nothing about what I said was wrong. He went too fast and she reacted too harshly. They aren't compatible. Doesn't absolve him of wrongdoing though, even if there wasn't any bad intent (which I don't believe that there was anyway).
Bentley Rivera
He did nothing wrong. If she was saving herself for marriage or has daddy issues, etc. that’s on her to tell him. She was completely in the wrong at best, and psycho at worst.
Ethan Parker
>never had sex with each other (obviously her idea) >”official”
OP how did you not spot the crazy in five weeks?
Ayden Gutierrez
You're right. OP just did what God or evolution has designed him to do; escalate the situation for sex. The issue is with the girl. She clearly has developmental problems because most people don't over react to a man you're dating or hooking up with trying to get pussy. This is something children learn when playing with other children (which is learning how to calmly tell someone "please stop, i don't want or like that). She threw a tantrum. She was either abused or sheltered.
Jack Hill
I didn't know that was a sign of craziness.
Jackson Ramirez
>I need to know what the fuck just happened. Insight?
She obviously has some sort of history of sexual abuse and your advance freaked her the fuck out. She had a visceral reaction and ran away from you instead of sticking around to work through it. She isn't ready to deal with it, apparently. This is a pretty common reaction in abuse survivors. You couldn't of known. It is unfortunate but this kind of shit happens all the time. Its nobody's fault.
despite the memes, I remember a fuck ton of freshmen girls who were afraid of sex, because they were sheltered and idealistic.
If what you say is true, I commend you for the ability to find fault in your own actions. You're not a rapist, but in the future, take "no's" as a holy command. Rape accusations ruin your life. With that in mind, never communicate with her again. Let it die.
>She reacted too harshly. People who have been abused typically react quite harshly to things that remind them of the abuse. I don't know if you've ever spoken with an abuse victim before but OP's girl's reaction is pretty par for the course. We can all sit here and crucify her for being a "psycho" but I think that's a pretty easy way out. I definitely don't think she's ready for any kind of relationship and am no way encouraging OP to stick around and be treated poorly just because she's an abuse victim but come on, guys. Something happened to this girl. People don't react like this for no reason or just because of some bitchy personality flaw.
Christian Bell
What fault in OPs actions, I fail to see how sliding your hand up your gfs thigh while making out (assuming she hadn't said anything about not escalating things) is wrong in any way shape or form.
Jason Wood
she was probably asking for it
Thomas Walker
That's fair I just don't want OP feeling like he did something wrong. If she has problems to work through that's valid but OP shouldn't feel like a creep.
Isaiah Thomas
>I fail to see You apparently fail to see how your standards and hers are separate and, therefore, bound to be different
Colton Collins
He aren't discussing standards we are discussing if OP should feel at fault for something.
Brayden Wright
Absolutely. Like I said in my original post, he couldn't have known. I made sure to emphasize that what happened isn't anybody's fault. Now, I don't exactly know the context of their relationship so I can't say with 100% certainty that what he did wasn't poorly timed but if we're taking the situation at face value I'd definitely agree that attempting to touch someone's genitals while making out in your bed isn't an unreasonable escalation.
The term "wrong" isn't really appropriate here because in this situation its highly contextual. As I said, if we're taking the situation at face value then no, he didn't make an unreasonable escalation but we don't really know the context of their relationship. We don't know how long they had been making out, whether or not they had done anything other than just made out, whether or not there were people in his house, whether or not they had discussed escalating before hand etc., I'm in no way demonizing OP because I don't get the impression that he made this decision out of malice or disregard for her opinion but just because he didn't mean to do anything wrong doesn't mean it isn't possible that he did. If so, he made an honest mistake or misread the situation. There's no need for him to beat himself up about it but I think that, in line with Jow Forums tradition, a lot of people in this thread are so quick to throw all of the blame onto the woman that they're ignoring the real possibility that his timing or the context could of been a little inappropriate.
Jason Bennett
>fulfilling biological imperative >made to feel like shit >thinks the problem is yourself
dude you got a lot to learn
Jeremiah Young
lmao is this real? that bitch is retarded, literally ghost her. make her feel the pain she made you and so many others feel for once
Jacob Morris
Y'all gotta cut it out with this "biological imperative" bullshit. Something being a biological imperative is not a logical basis for arguing that it is correct. Its called "appeal to nature fallacy".
Liam Baker
He escalated too quickly. That's what he did wrong.
Irrelevant with respect to what he did.
Adam Clark
>five weeks
lolnope.jpg
Five minutes is too soon, after that, you’re a fuckin beta bitch if you don’t make a move.
Bentley Williams
That's a spook
Christopher Cook
Don't beat yourself up OP, you didn't do anything wrong, it sounds like she has some major issues, that being said, better safe than sorry, ask for consent before you escalate anything with a girl, it's not that most girls care but it's to prevent the 1% of girls who do like your ex from freaking out and calling rape on you.
Chase Martin
Some dude that's more aggressive than you are is just going to power through this bullshit and she's going to fucking love it. Then she's going to feel guilty.
Isaiah Torres
5 weeks and already a relationship? I had my first kiss at 22 so I know nothing but isn't that a little too fast?
Cooper Lee
OP here
It's not like I'm experienced, but it really just depends on how much you like each other. We both admired each other from a distance before we dated.
Ian Brooks
Are y'all still talking? Try to be sappy, I've found girls love it when you open up. Tell her you'd never want to hurt her and your willing to wait if she's willing to try the relationship again. Try to do it face to face.
