My husband broke our 2 ups leg...

My husband broke our 2 ups leg. It was an accident but I feel like he's to rough and I'm so mad and pissed off and I feel like I can't trust him. What the he'll do I do?

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If you did it instead by accident, would you still want to be trusted and forgiven? Let it go, and move on

I've never been tough enough with my children to brake there fucking tibia and fibula. He's not careful enough with them gets frustrated and man handles them. He didn't try to hurt her but he did so no I can't just move on. I need to know my kids are safe

Feels too broad for advice and too personal to have people on the internet to be impartial.

As the kid is too young, it's be hard to gather a lawsuit — even if you two are together and/or married.

If you're separated, have Child Protective Services and Friend of the Court involved. The physician that tended to the broken leg will have to testify whether the condition of the leg seemed to be intentionally broken or an accident.

You have to use the outside resources. Going through the court will be hard. Proving a potentially hyperactive child didn't do something stupid like jumping off a raised porch is more likely than an unsupervised father broke his child's in private.

22 male here. Been through FotC and CPS in my younger days, witnessed many of my mother and father friends go through the courts, and have supervised children from 1-13 upon request from CPS and separated parents.

This is dumb as fuck and just an excuse for you to talk about yourself. No one said anything about court

Make new baby and feed it better so it has stronger bones? Are you vegan?

On serious note you dont do anything because being single mother is fate worse than cancer.
Maybe dont leave your kids in his presense alone? How hard could that be? Also why did you pick him as a father of your children?

No one said it was unsupervised. I was home he set her down kind of hard and she was kicking and her leg went under her wrong an there was this loud nasty pop and then her screaming. He wasn't meaning to hurt her but if he hadn't plopped her down hard like that it would not have happened. He is just to rough with them. Like as if he's handling a doll instead of a real child. I'm not looking to take him to court or anything like that. I just want to get him to be more careful

We have to believe there's 3 sides of a story here. OP's first sentence is accusative and the second sentence is full of negativity towards the husband.

If we take emotion out for a second, let's ask the important questions.
>If this broken leg happened once and on accident, why is there a serious distrust against the husband?
>Did OP (wife) bother to talk to her husband about how the husband may be too rough?

Anyone remember the line "Til death do us part," during their ceremony? That includes working things like this out and not throwing out a relationship based on an accident.

No i would never want to be a single mom. He's a good husband and most of the time a good dad he just got frustrated because our 2yo was screaming and kicking when he picker her up so he set her down kind of roughly. Her foot like turned under her and it poped her leg. The children's hispital said its really easy to do only needs like 12lbs of pressure at a bad angle of something like that. That is a very common injury in toddlers even just from them playing and hurting themselves. It's not like he set out to hurt her I just with he'd realize how fragile kids are. I have to work and I trust daycare less then I'd trust him. I'll have to see about finding something where I can work from home I guess

Ok I retract all of the legal suggestions. As a male without kids and a lifetime full of fuck ups just like this... You have to tell your husband to try to be more delicate. Every male here has accidentally applied too little or too much force and/or carelessness at one point in our lives.

It's a learning process with us. I guarantee when I have a kid, I'll accidentally scratch or hurt my kid before he or she is 5 either because of human error or accidentally picking my kid up the wrong way.

Accidents happen and he most likely wouldn't take offense if you politely shown him how to protect your child's limbs and sit your child down after being picked up.

Never once said anything about seporating so I'm not sure why your going on with the "throw in the towel" crap. I did talk to him and he's just like I wasn't being rough it was just an accident. He feels bad and all but won't admit that he gets frustrated and is to rough with them.

It just sounds like a case of Over Protective Mommy Disorder. She's harboring animosity towards her husband out of her protective instinct for her children, and isn't able to process her emotions properly, or doesn't see a reason to.

If your husband can't honestly and earnestly understand why you want him to put the child down more gently, then I have to wonder why and how you managed to marry somebody so retarded and dysfunctional.

However, I really doubt that's the case. I doubt you've talked to him, and I seriously doubt he doesn't feel bad for injuring HIS daughter. Because it is HIS child, too. Just try talking about your emotions rather than throwing them at people, and work through it together. I'm sure your husband feels bad enough as it is, so having you freak shit at him isn't going to help. Be considerate of one another.

Thank you so much that is good advice and exactly what I was meaning. He's not abusive just a big burly dude who dosent have the most gentle touch. How do j bring this up without being a bitch. I'm not going to lie I'm pretty upset. I've had to stay up the last 3 nights with her crying in pain and had to take care of all the dr stuff and then when I tried to talk to him about it he just dismissed me. I just don't want anything like this to happen again. It's really easy for kids to get hurt, you really have to be carefull with them.

I haven't freaked out or yelled at him or anything I tried to sting it up all I said was " you need to be more careful you get to rough with the kids sometimes" and he denied it and dismissed me completely. And sure he felt bad but not bad enough to help her or take her to the ER or comfert her since she's gotten a cast on. He feels bad for himself not for her. He's upset cuz he looks bad not cuz she's hurt. Honestly it kind of makes me see him differently the way he's reacted. And the fm fact that he won't even be like "yah I'll have to be more carful" is a big issue for me. How do I know he's not going to have something like this happen again?

Same guy here, I came off a bit strong. Lightened up in the post above you. I'm sorry here. I shouldn't automatically assume based on the OP.

Believe it or not, all guys, including myself, will be stubborn about rudimentary situations. He'll probably fess up to this in the future, but if you see he feels bad about it, you'll have to take that as admission of victory in your end. To this day my mother knows I won't admit to something as small as a lie even if she knows the truth. Being talked to about these situations made me learn even if I'm stubborn.

That's understandable I guess but I just don't want to risk my kids safety like I need him to be a big boy and realize it was his fault, it was avoidable, and he has to be more carful in the future. That all that is needed so I can trust him to watch the kids. Otherwise I'm always going to be worried about it. I feel like he just feels bad for himself looking bad and not really that she's hurt. He hasn't even tried to help take care of her.

Reading a few replies shows that it was just an exaggeration due to their child being hurt. A talk was initiated and I'm sure the next time one of the parents seats a child, it'll be monitored just for safety.

Honestly, not all guys know how to be selfless. We didn't have a life come out of us nor did we have almost a year wearing a basketball in our stomach. That being said, you'll have to teach him to be more selfless as it doesn't come as easy to us as it does to you currently.

Try not to judge him too much based on this though. He just needs you to guide him a bit until it's muscle memory of dealing with the responsibility of another human's life. I don't want to sound like an ass for demanding this, but if you politely alert him on things here and there, then you'll see him mold into the parent you want him to be. Baby steps.

To top it off, you have to expect the unexpected. Give him at least 2-3 chances at something and if he screws it up, take on the responsibility while he's watching. It'll eventually be an unspoken form of reverse psychology because he'll take on the responsibility again after acknowledging you're not a single parent and actually do need help.

If he's neglecting the kid, my Friend of the Court suggestion isn't completely moot. I don't know your husband, but I feel like he's not a natural leader. If he sees you need help and doesn't do anything, it is alright to tell him you have your hands full and give out commands.

All of these tasks may be new to him especially if he hasn't taken parenting classes, babysit other kids, or had a responsibility or supervising a life. Every year will be something new your child will need so every year he'll have to get mentored as you're the leader currently.

Take it day by day. Eventually you won't have to be responsible for 2 children. Just your own.

In the same way the woman can be overprotective and overly emotional going into this conversation, the guy can also be overly defensive and overly aggressive. OP told us what happened pretty clearly and that she did talk to him, so I'm not sure why you're saying she definitely didn't talk to him and is lying about how it went.

Humans suck sometimes at communication, not just women. My suggestion to OP is get a third, neutral party involved. Have the doctor weigh in on whether or not it was preventable, how to handle a baby correctly. If your husband can't take input of someone who's an actual authority on it, then it's way beyond a reasonable amount of defensiveness and bruised ego. It sucks he's not listening to you about something so important.

I take fault in the hostile part of the miscommunication. Still sorry.

All mine

Fellow mom here, My daughter is 9.

I think you need to let go of the resentment, OP. Our kids will always get hurt. When I was 3 my mom slammed the door with her foot while carrying groceries. My toe was right there, and she knocked my big toe nail right off my toe.

When my brother was 10, she'd let him free range on the street on his bike. He and his friends were playing, he fell off his bike just as a car came, and it ran over his leg.

My dad broke a glass jar and didn't pick up all the pieces, sister went running through the kitchen tore up her leg on a piece of glass and had to get stitches.


When my daughter was two years old. I plucked her out the bath tub and started drying her down as she stood there. She shouted "you're it!" and took off running. Didn't even take two steps before slipping and smacking and cracking her head open on the tile floor.


Kids get hurt. Sometimes we accidentally hurt them. Sometimes someone else accidentally hurts them. We feel terrible each time and wish it didn't happen. My mom wishes she didn't slam the door. My mom wishes she was watching my brother ride his bike. My dad wishes he didn't drop the stupid jar. I wish I could have caught my daughter before she fell.

You are not a bad mom for this. Your husband is not a bad dad for this. This literally happens all the time.

Well shit nigga bring up the concern, it's his kid too so I don't think he likes breaking legs. If I had to offer advice on wording, less of "you fucked up stop fucking up" to "how can we as parents make sure this doesn't happen again", immediately propose solutions and methods.

>Didn't even take two steps before slipping and smacking and cracking her head open on the tile floor.
22 years on this planet and I still do this although it's a skill to fall on your tailbone, but it's a mastery at the craft when you scrape your knees.

This is stupid you are talking about things that happen out of pure chance not an injury that was a result of someone getting mad and using to much force when handling a child. It's not the same thing

You people arnt fuckng listening. I did try to talk to him and he won't admit he did anything wrong. He is to rough with our kids. I'm not going to just let this go and keep letting him acidently hurt our kids cuz he's to stubborn to admit he needs to chill the fuck out. He gets frustrated with them and handles them roughly it's not ok. It dosent matter if he's not meaning to hurt them, you can't get aggravated and man handle your kids. If he won't even admit that's what's going on how is he going to stop doing it?