To give a bit of context before I get to the point:
>this girl I love >actually have very deep feelings towards her for around 1 year now >last months we've been hanging out a lot, and pretty much became literally best friends, she's one of my closest people at the moment, and I'm one of her closest people as well. >less than a month ago I did an all-out confession about my feelings towards her, she didn't expect a thing since she's kinda bad at reading people. >answer was both nice and painful... she said that she feels the same things that I do (familiarity, closeness, love etc) BUT in a friendly way, not in a romantic way, as I do.
Now, we're still hanging out a lot, have fun together, talk about EVERYTHING literally, and the situation is pretty much the same as before, only thing is now she knows how I feel.
Last thing I should mention is that I'm suspecting that she might like someone else, not deep feelings or something, just a crush, but I'm pretty sure who he is and I'm also pretty sure that he doesn't feel the same.
What should I do in order (I don't want to "force" her to change tho) make her see things a bit different and probably turn this friendship into an actual relationship? More body contact? I really need an advice on this topic. Thanks
I forgot to add, that 99% of the times (around 2-3 times a week) we hang out completely alone
Jaxon Sullivan
keep doing what youre doing now, youre honest and innocent. keep this up and any human would want you to lead them. you have a good mind, heart and style (way of expressing self). mind + heart = style. most people fake style, but when style is true, its the strongest attraction force in nature
Brody Morgan
Walk away.
She knew, she's not an idiot. What she's doing to you now is making you her attention slut. Its like if you had a fwb that you KNEW liked you a lot and you played dumb and then said, "lets keep fucking without commitment... Maybe things will change."
Its shitty and you'll do better throwing yourself at as many women as possible so you can learn the knowledge you come to Jow Forums in hopes of easily attaining.
If nothing else, you must love yourself more than any woman and letting someone callously string your heart along isn't very loving. I mean it dude, "lets just be friends" is not an act of kindness, it's one of selfish cowardice because she doesn't want to lose your free and easy attention.
Justin White
Thing is we are been really close to each other so it would be a bit stupid to just walk away as if nothing happened, if she was just a random that I met for 2-3 days I would not give a fuck, but the situation is different I believe.
Wyatt Johnson
If you genuinely wanted this girl as your friend, you'd not have said you want an A to B on how to make her a successful romantic pursuit.
Walk away or be an actual friend.
Lincoln Brown
Well I can't get your wrong in this one. Only thing I can say to (honestly) justify myself is that I see actual potential in this, if I have to stay a friend, I can do it, but I just want to make sure that nothing is gonna happen so I don't get my hopes up in the future.
Lucas Long
I can't get you wrong*
Henry Cruz
>Loyal fuckbuddy, who knows all your kinks and turn ons, has shown she won't leave even now she's caught feelings >You can still fuck whoever you want with the safety net that this fuckbuddy will never leave.
This is her equivalent situation. If you wanna wait around for her confidence to plummet, maybe she'll settle, but I'd say thats not showing yourself any love whatsoever.
Jaxson Harris
Mind explaining a bit? I didn't really get the point desu
Lincoln Gomez
This is why you never confess to women. How many times do anons have to hear this.
The moment you confess your feelings to a woman is the moment she stomps on them.
Next time just make moves on her, if she declines, grafually move on, and if she asks, tell her i liked you and you didnt lke me so im looking elsewhere.
Justin Morris
She has no reason to risk losing her boyfriend-without-the-fucking.
This.
Christian Cruz
It's too late now, so I have to work with whatever I have. And I really know it should be better to just walk away, but deep inside I know it's the only person I honestly feel actual love for.
Lincoln Mitchell
Hello user "i confessed to her and she blew me off although we were soooo close" #498359
Just stop hanging out with her as much, you oaf. You can still be her friend, and not spend as much time with her as you do. While still being her friend but seeing her less, I would start branching out and meeting other people at places of mutual interest. In a way this shows her that while, yes, you'll be her friend, you also have your own life and interests to pursue, other people to meet, which might wake her up the the reality she won't always 'have' you, if that makes sense. It may 'force her hand' and get you closer to what you might want which is a relationship with her.
However, I do want to bring to your attention something this other user said because it's spot on:
>let's just be friends is not an act of kindness, it's one of selfish cowardice because she doesn't want to lose your free and easy attention
This is so true. Don't forget it. She's using you and won't admit it, because she needs you more than you need her.
Joseph Nelson
"Actual love," is a lie we've been sold. "Actual love," is at best infatuation. If this was "actual love," wouldn't she feel the same way back? Wouldn't she see all the things that have made you awesome friends and then happily ask for more when you confessed your feelings?
Its not love, lad. Its something holding you back from being as good a man as you can be.
Jose Gray
So at this point wouldn't it be wiser to give more time, and try to build up more body contact and stuff and see where this goes, and then try to reduce my romantic feelings towards her in case I fail to take it our "relationship" a step further?
David Cox
That book is pretty stupid user. Some truth in it, but more broad generalizations than not. Essentially 'muh opinion is fact: the book'
Elijah Miller
OP here, I'll try to do this (reduce the time I spend with her and meet new people and see how she reacts to it).
Cheers!
Ryan Bailey
Lad, walk away.
I've had a girl dry hump me and then say lets just be friends.
Anyway, good luck OP, I'm out.
Parker Anderson
>Doing it for her
Hopeless.
Isaiah Wilson
there is no relationship moron. she's just as likely to have a sexual relationship with her grandma as she is with you. unless you turn your personality 180° around, understand how women and some basic concepts of sexuality work, you'll crash and burn even harder than you can now imagine.
leave her be and try to understand why you have absolutely zero chances with her the way you are now.
Cameron Nelson
Let me reprhase it then. No, my intention is not to "grab her attention" or make her chase me back. I'll do it as a way to actually meet new people and probably get over it someday.
What I mean is... In case she decides to change and chase back, it's win win.
Jace Brooks
Better.
And remember, girls fuck strangers at parties, you don't need to be friends for them to spread their legs.
Liam Brooks
1. By relationship I didn't mean a sexual relationship. 2. Turn my personality to what?
Levi King
you are already friendzone level 9000, how do you want to take this 'relationship' any further if you don't mean sexual relationship? moving in as her personal doormat? by turning your personality around i mean that a guy she wants to have as her bf would NEVER confess his feelings to her or hope that she'll develop feelings simply by being friends (as you do). the guy who gets her takes what he wants and doesn't have to win her, she has to win him. you are acting like the opposite of that guy.
Carter Brown
can you please tell the story of the dry hump girl
