I'm genuinely wondering how long it took you to get over an ex? Were you able to do it in a short amount of time after a long relationship or was it easy to move on?
It's been 4 weeks since my ex and I broke up from a 2 1/2 year relationship. We communicated for the first couple of weeks He reached out, said he missed me, loved me, was flirty. Everything seemed to be pretty friendly, but then he changed a week after that and sad he no longer cares. He isn't love with anymore and doesn't even want to be friends. He didn't block my number, but he has stopped all communication, which has left me hurt and just really confused.
Did he really get over me and our relationship in just a couple of weeks, to the point to where he doesn't even want to be friends? Is it possible that he lied?
Has anyone else been in this situation? Did you ever lie to an ex about not caring or loving them, when you actually did, to help you move on?
I broke up with my ex about a month after we got together, and after 5 years of being literally best friends. Lost her as a gf and a friend in the span of about 36 hours.
Honestly I felt like I was paroled. I felt free, I felt great.
I think there may have been some subtle effects though that I'm still working through nearly a year later. Not like I'm "not over her" so much as I'm a still little more cautious about getting involved with someone new.
Jack Jackson
I doubt hes over you, but rather i think hes realized that he needs you out of his life to get over you.
My advice is to cut contact and move on with your life. Take up some new hobbies, make new friends.
Samuel Ortiz
>Did he really get over me and our relationship in just a couple of weeks, to the point to where he doesn't even want to be friends? Is it possible that he lied? Absolutely possible, though what you describe—him saying he doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, and doesn't want to be friends anymore—is kind of the antithesis of being over you.
Not that getting over you means he should want to be or be able to be friends with you. I'd not be able to be friends with my ex anymore, simply because she was a genuinely shitty person.
Of course, I actually had the balls to tell her to her face that she was a shitty person the day I dumped her.
Isaiah Turner
Everyone is entirely different case to case. I was in a relationship for 7 years, it became stale and she told me to move out. 8 months later she wanted me back but I had accepted we were over despite still loving her in a capcity that had altered.
She continued for 6 months and I still think about her a lot, but it felt like a toxic relationship. I am still not "over" her and I have begun pondering is it even right to be over someone.
They were meant to give you experiences and memories and thats what they are now.
I can imagine losing a loved one to death, one could never get over. Its all up to what the emotional capacity of the individual harvests.
Jason Hall
I don't think he doesn't want to be friends cause I'm a shitty person, cause a week before he decided to crush me into a million pieces by basically saying he feels nothing for me anymore, he told me he couldn't live without me. We had discussed not speaking anymore and he said he thought about it, but could never imagine not talking to me, even as a friend. Then BAM.... a week later, he dropped the 'we don't need to talk anymore, I am not in love with you anymore or care to even be your friend' bomb on me.
I don't even know what to think, I just know I'm completely heartbroken and can't do anything about it.
Luis Miller
>I don't think he doesn't want to be friends cause I'm a shitty person I doubt my ex thinks she's a shitty person. Doesn't change the fact that my ex is truly a shitty person.
Nicholas Johnson
Its just a time game... spend it doing positive things.
Ian Gutierrez
>a week before >he told me he couldn't live without me Are you daft woman? Then he broke up with you. Why are you relying on shit the guy said when he was in a relationship with you as authoritative of how he thinks or feels?
He doesn't want to be friends anymore. Move on. You have better things to do in your life.
Jacob Collins
you make him feel many emotions at the same time, he loves and hates you and everything in between. It can be hell for a man to go through this. he still certainly cares for you, but realizes that your relationship will never exist in the context he desires. therefore, he has no choice for his mental and emotional well being but to end the relationship. Only, ending the relationship on good terms allows you to linger in his life and never allow him to get over you completely. That is why he has now become toxic, he wants you to never want to speak to him again so that he can accept that things are over and move on.
Actually, I said, he said that TWO WEEKS AFTER our breakup, then a week later, he said he didn't want to communicate anymore.
I never said he said that before our break, he said it, after our break up.
Adrian Collins
I don’t get over them until I meet someone new
Xavier Mitchell
I did a lot of searching and at first I thought, maybe he flipped so quick, cause spending time with me (talking the first couple of weeks after our breakup) was harder then he had thought it was gonna be, so he went cold to move on and didn't actually mean those things. I just don't know if it's a lie I'm telling myself. It's been hard to accept/understand how he changed his heart so quickly, when I haven't lost love/feelings for him at all, even though the breakup was the right thing for both of us.
I guess I will never really know.
Christopher Morgan
Okay bro, whatever. You're clearly right that this guy is just being coy and actually wants you back because he said some shit that made you think he wanted you back shortly after you broke up.
I'm sure you'll get back together within the week. You should totally call him up right now, he's probably waiting right by the phone, crying and wondering when you'll call.
Jace Powell
Serious question... why does any of this matter, why are you so concerned with the why? The reality is that he doesnt love you at all, and never wants to speak with you again. That is all that matters.
Dylan Adams
Lol...
Oliver Murphy
>I'm genuinely wondering how long it took you to get over an ex? Were you able to do it in a short amount of time after a long relationship or was it easy to move on? >First relationship Length: 6 months Got over it after: 1 year Lost feelings for the girl after: 3 years >Second relationship Length: 2 years Got over it after: Still hasn't (Break up was 2 years and a half ago) Lost feelings for the girl after: Still hasn't >Third relationship Length: 1 month Got over it after: 1 day Lost feelings for the girl after: Never had feelings beside lust >Fourth relationship Length: 8 months Got over it after: 2 months Lost feelings for the girl after: 1 month before breakup
Brandon Wright
What?
I simply clarified that when he said he couldn't live without me, it was 2 weeks after we broke up, not before. I don't know how you got that I was saying he was sitting around waiting on me to call, just from correcting someone's misunderstanding of what I said to begin with.
Brody Evans
Hes trying to say that the tiny blip that you’re holding onto for dear life was either a lie, or doesnt matter even the slightest now. Your ex has moved on and so should you.
Ethan Scott
>arguing with people trying to give you honest advice over minutiae You clearly want help.
Probably the same reason a lot of people sit and wonder why their relationship ended or felt hurt, because it's normal to care and have some sort of feelings after a break up. I mean it is, if you actually cared about the person and your relationship. I mean, can't someone accept that the relationship is over, but still care? Some people can't just shut off their emotions, it takes time.
Chase Lopez
Eat a dick.
Jeremiah Flores
There is always one angry virgin in every post on here anytime someone asks something serious.
Each of my relationships were different. Some took longer. Depended on the person. The longest was about a day, cause it wasn't a good relationship. The hardest was 6 year relationship, which took about a year to fully move on.
William Cox
OP isn't asking anything serious. She's saying "muh ex sayed he lubbed meh and now he says he don't! why! bawwwwww!"
Bawwing threads are expressly against the rules.
Jaxson Davis
That is really interesting OP, I'm in the same situation as you but in the other side. Did everything you said he did.
Its been a month. I still love her madly, to the point where it fucking hurts that I can't have her anymore. I need some time alone to get my thoughts in order, and try to move on with life. I want her back, but I don't think she does. It'll take month to get to back to normal, if ever. Good luck OP.
Justin Lewis
an entire year with the first serious one (4 years) about 3 or so months for the second one but wasn't as serious about 1 month for the last crush that I tried to get going for the better part of a year but eventually just stopped cold turkey and after a few weeks I realized I had forgotten about it
still sucks every time though, if I ever have another relationship and it's a long one I doubt it'll take less to get over it tho different people man, it takes how long it needs to take and that's that, don't beat yourself up over but also don't just sit around and expect it to go away
Ryder Carter
Reminder that OP just started this thread to bawww about her ex.
Christopher Phillips
4 years and still counting.
Liam Robinson
Well I have no idea what the sad fuck you're intending to accomplish by shitposting on Jow Forums, but power to you
Real answer, and this goes for all of you-- you need to decide this for yourselves, there's no appropriate time that you don't set for yourself. Take the time you need. But once you've taken it, move on and keep moving on. It might be two weeks, it might be two years, it might be proportional to the duration of the relationship or it might be completely irrelevant to the duration. In no case should you be setting out time limits by any other standard than your own. Simple as that. And that goes for all of you.
Jacob Gray
The last girl I dated and I were together for 4 and a half years. We broke up a month ago. I don't know if I'm over it, but i don't harbor negative feelings toward her, don't want her back and I'm not distraught by it. I feel crappy in all the same ways except the ones she made me feel.
Sebastian Reed
I think I’m going to break up with my girlfriend soon...
Which really sucks because I love her very much. But I don’t feel like I have any other option :(
Jonathan Hall
It took me 4 years to get over my ex. We were together for 7 years. I don't have the 'in love' feelings any more and I'm with someone else now.
Grayson Rivera
These make me thing about my situation. I'm having trouble dealing with it.
I recently had a two year relationship (Practically to the day) that ended. Longest in my life, would have married her. However, I'm almost completely over it now. I don't know how to feel about that, because I really did love her and care. I feel like I've just gone through this enough, matured, and had great support and advice from friends. I feel like I was able to logically deal with the first clean breakup in my life, and it only took about two and a half weeks. (It was really one, but we'd "broken up" then got back together a week before, and not talked for space a week before then. Dumb shit but I count it.)
The part where it gets tricky is I'm with someone else now after that period. I just sort of got drunk with friends one day, said "fuck it, I'm single, she's hot, I'll ask her out!" and went to do it the next day. Somehow it worked and we ended up doing a lot more than seeing a movie. It's almost been two months now, and we're happy, it's probably the healthiest, most affectionate, caring thing I've ever had. However, I still have a couple hang ups, least of all that I keep worrying how other people will feel, but more importantly, how I will feel later, because I might have gotten into something too quickly.
I feel like I'm perfectly fine and over the last thing, but some social tick in my head says it was too soon. Is that really a problem? Is it just a dumb little thing I can get past (Which is what it feels like), or what? I want to love her, but I feel numb. I just don't know what to feel right now.
Who initiated your break up? You or him. Don't say it was mutual because it wasn't.
Ryan Martin
oh boy surely this user here isn't trying to confirm some idea he's already formed about OP this is certainly worth answering, for constructive criticism of course I mean the tone isn't adversarial at all
Lol you can take your effeminate snark and sarcasm right back to red.dit
This thread has "I initiated a break up and now I regret it because my exbf moved on faster than I did" all over it
Kevin Russell
good user! why bother waiting for a reply when we can just make shit up on behalf of others! man you really get to the bottom of things don't ya a real knack for this sort of stuff go on user tell us what else we're all thinking, some of us haven't figured it out as well as you have
Well, we’ve been together a year now. Things have been wonderful with her. But we are both in our late twenties, and the one big thing that we have a disagreement on regarding the future is children. She wants a child, I don’t.
Brayden Diaz
>Not agreeing on kids
It's ogre, user
Zachary Diaz
Yeah that’s definitely a deal breaker. You gotta frame the breakup as a good thing for her. Let her know you’re doing this because you want her to be truly happy and because you want to give her the time to find a man she can have kids with. Tell her you have to break up now because you don’t want to hold back her dreams. Meanwhile, you take some time to be single and figure out what you want in your next mate
Thomas Anderson
>figure out what you want in your next mate
Realistically, I won’t have another girlfriend after this ends. It is very very rare to find high quality women who don’t want kids. It’s just how it is.
Nicholas Stewart
About 2 months, but only because I made an active effort to do so - refused to let myself wallow in negative emotions, kept myself busy, socialised a lot, met other people and purged every trace of her existence from my life.
Staying friends with her just kept reopening the wound, which I'm sure your ex has also realised and that'll be why hes done the same to you.
Eli Martin
Why don’t you want kids user?
Brandon Hughes
I don’t like them. I can’t stand being around them. The thought of having to take care of a baby sounds terrifying
Parker Howard
Take pride in your ability to overcome. Think about it like its an actual tangible thing that is in your way and get past it. Do not let your unhappiness with being alone beat you. It is temporary. But being a slave for someone who doesn't care about you can last forever if you're not careful. Don't be sad its over, be happy you're free.
Josiah Torres
The reality is not bright or especially helpful. Emotional damage and loss are what they are. Know this next time you think about starting a dubious relationship.
>I just want to stop loving this person I can no longer be with. Give it at least two to five years.
John Parker
This is your purpose as a living creature though. Your purpose is to reproduce. We don’t know all the answers in life but we know that life has to keep perpetuating itself. It’s literally the one thing we’re certain of. I think you should do some soul searching and find better reasons for why you don’t want kids than “they smell bad” or are annoying.
Jeremiah Nguyen
whatever you do, don't try to talk about it with her user, sudden breakup is the only way, no middle-ground
>Your purpose is to reproduce >we know that life has to keep perpetuating itself the absolute state of normies
Because I don’t like them? I like living in peace and quiet. I don’t want a kid to disturb that.
Well she knows I don’t want kids.
Lucas Peterson
>Well she knows I don’t want kids. nigga I mean talk through, you do talk through the issues you come across in your relationship right? like she explains why and when she'd like kids, you explain to her why you'd rather not, and so on, y'know, understand each-other, or is that such an alien concept?
Ian Cooper
Yes. But why do you say “don’t talk to her” about it??
Jonathan Diaz
m8 I was being sarcastic goddammit so to put it clearly: my advice is to talk about it at length with her because it is typically one of the most important aspects of a mature and solid relationships, and if it's such a deal-breaker for either of you, it's probably best to sort these things out _clearly_ sooner rather than later because especially in her case the (biological) clock is ticking away just don't be an ass about it, and you could also take some time to think about why you dislike them so much, besides the usual "they're noisy and gross" I can't say I would want kids right now for the life of me, but so far I've only heard that reasoning for fairly young people and the fact that you phrased it as "The thought of having to take care of a baby sounds terrifying" is the mother of all freudian slips and there's something more there
so, user, short and simple 1. figure yoself out on the kids issue 2. figure yo girl out on the kids issue 3. come to a decision with her on whether it's worth moving forward or not there's no super huge rush but imo you should figure it out within the next year or so
Ryan Torres
Maybe she does feels the same way, but she thinks you're over her. I wouldn't wait to talk to her too long. The longer you wait, whatever it is (fear of rejection, scared) she is gonna eventually move on, because she believes you have moved on and she has no choice.
Baby steps.... shoot her a text and say Hi. Give her some time to collect herself after you send it (she may be busy/scared) to reply right away. If she responds, well, that's a positive step I the right direction.
Jayden Bennett
I kinda initiated it and said I wanted a break, cause I was having second thoughts about something new going on his life. He didn't want too break up and emotions were running high, both crying, etc. I started to have a change of heart in the middle of our talk and was gonna work through it, but then he said it might actually be for the best, he didn't think he could emotionally handle it, if I changed my mind again. So we agreed and called it quits. It was a big blow up. No screaming, word calling, etc. I think we were just both emotionally drained and needed to clear our heads.
Elijah Sanders
Typo
*Wasn't a big blow up, not it was. It wasn't at all.
John Jones
Don't you have a date with your mom's vacuum cleaner?
Josiah Williams
great, he's clearly busy dealing with whatever you broke up over so that's why he doesn't give you as much attention as he used to so let it go maybe time will change things but it probably won't that was that if you initiated the breakup it's kinda silly to still be hung up over it don't you think? and if you keep changing your mind every other week then something's up that you aren't aware of but it's normal to go through these motions; not to be condescending but it sounds like you might be somewhat young so don't worry about it, your reactions are normal, but do go your separate ways at least for a few months, it's better for both of you
Wyatt Diaz
Nah, that's not it, the new thing in his life we thought was gonna happen, never did. We thought it was, but when we talked after our breakup, things we're the same there and things seemed to start getting somewhat back to normal. That's when he said he loved me/missed me and couldn't live without me, etc, then changed his mind a week a later.
Maybe he really did just just stop loving me a week after he said all that. Could be anything.
Thanks for the advice.
Dominic Mitchell
its been over 10 years me and my ex broke up. i had the (joy?) of stumbling upon her in the grocery store in the neighbour town. she got in a relationship with 6 guys after me and is now married to the 7th with one kid and pregnant to another.
i have been alone since we broke up. i have never known touch after hers. in a way, im happy for her, but that made me realise what a good for nothing kv loser i am
Logan Gonzalez
>but that made me realise what a good for nothing kv loser i am >kv
