I think my family is trying to set me up because I've only dated white girls in the past
This girl I met at a family event keeps trying to make me go out with her.
you can see I'VE TRIED to politely turn her down but she's not getting it.
How do I stop her?
Actually, I can't.
It just looks like you're perpetuating the conversation, and trying to be funny.
That's probably not going to work, by the way.
>This girl I met at a family event keeps trying to make me go out with her.
Hah, shit, I've been there. Get ready for a story my dude.
>be me, 27, go to old college friendgirl's bday party, is also kind of a sendoff for me since I'm going to law school in the fall
>weird wallflower girl adds me on FB afterwards, she starts asking really weird personal questions and asking if I can set her up with a guy who was at the party who I don't know; I mostly ignore her
>She starts pestering me; eventually I block her on messenger
>fast forward a year and a half, now 28, bored, unblock her; within two days she's messaging me suggesting we get together next time I'm in town; basically give her a blow-off answer because I don't go into town very often and I still think she's weird
>fast forward to graduation, she starts messaging me again, asks me to go to her bday party, I figure "why the fuck not?"
>i sleep through her party, whoops. she starts texting me and is like "you need to make it up to me"
>this begins a month of weekly dates and flirting via text
>she's actually got a sexy body and I really like the attention she gives me... but she won't get physical at all, not even a kiss
>I get fed up and stop going out with her, tell her I'm not interested anymore, etc. She gets all hurt, says some shit like "Maybe after we're dating for a year we might do that [i.e., sleep together]". I'm not having any of that.
>I figure we're done. Turns out she wasn't. Every few weeks she texts me and starts asking about shit like the girl in OP's pic related, basically exact same sort of conversation ensues most times, and she won't get the hint
>It's been nearly THREE YEARS since I stopped going out with her. I took her out twice about two years ago figuring I'd try it again, and nothing happened.
>I've been polite, I've ignored her... she still persists.
The tl;dr: Girls you meet at parties can be hit or miss. Aggressive girls you meet at parties seem to be more miss than hit.
The other lesson I've learned from this girl is that there are actually women out there who will not take a fucking hint. I'm actually on the verge of telling her not to text me again. I've flat out ignored her for the last six months straight, and something like 12 of the last 14 text attempts. Like literally not even responded. She still tries again later.
Also on the off chance that you're SAR, what up bud? (I honestly doubt it but something about your story reminds me of that friend from LS.)
It's weird, the more you don't want them the more they want you. But you really don't want them haha
Nothing in this conversation is turning her down your just sidestepping the question. With women you have to very direct what you've done is how guys end up in the friend zone but you're literally trying to avoid the dating it's comically weird.
Not OP but the funny thing is, what he's doing is closer to what women do when they're not interested in a guy, and what she's doing is what an oblivious, friendzoned guy usually does.
The shit thing about it is that if you confront her and just say, "Yo, I don't like you like that, back off," then she'll (most likely) get all defensive and accuse you of being paranoid. That's what the girl in did when I confronted her once. "Wow, you're overthinking things, I was just trying to hang out like as friends."
The shit thing in OP's situation is that it's hard even to ghost the girl given he met her at a family thing. Doing her badly can reflect badly on his family, and potentially bring down the thunder from mom. I'm lucky in that the girl that's bugging me isn't even friends with anyone I know anymore (she had a HUGE falling out with the girl whose party I met her at in the intervening years, and completely lost that entire social sphere).
And to add on to that, the structure of the conversation isn't one where the girl's actually directly asking him out. Where exactly is the "decline" point?
>Hey did you see the Avengers yet?
>No thanks.
>... I was just asking if you'd seen it yet.
Part of the reason there's no clear decline point is because the way she's asking is deliberately structured so that rejection doesn't naturally flow. It's a bit like how guys will do the "don't ask her out as a question, TELL her where you're going." The reason for that isn't any kind of magic voodoo with being assertive, it's 100% conversational structure and women's social conventions, because they don't want to generate social strife, they just kind of go along with what the "group" decides (even when that's a group of two). So the following is awkward for a woman:
>Guy: Got anything going on this weekend?
>Girl: Nothing much!
>Guy: Cool. Let's get coffee. I'll meet you at Starbucks at 4.
>Girl: Uh no?
Obviously, if the girl isn't interested in hanging out at all, she's more likely to give that response. But if she's wishy-washy at all, the theory is that saying no is less likely to come to mind as an option.
The same is true here. Conversationally, for OP, saying "I don't want to see it with you" just doesn't fit.
(n.b., I don't think the "assertive telling the girl what you're gonna do together" gimmick works at all, particularly in the sense that getting a date that way when the girl wasn't particularly interested isn't going to engender good feelings; I merely list it as an example of the same weird principle in conversational mechanics)
Holy fuck what does that mean. When did saying no stop meaning no.
>When did saying no stop meaning no.
What are you talking about? I'm saying that the conversations are set up such that it's unnatural or awkward to respond with "no", and in the case of OP's conversation, plausible deniability that she wasn't trying to ask him out at all.
Ah I misread
Yeah it's fucking strange. When I was first dating the girl (nearly three years ago, holy shit), I had this close confidante who was telling me, convincingly, that she was going to be an easy lay, that she was acting super fucking thirsty, etc. And she honestly was, just that she wasn't being lewd. She confused the living hell out of us both.
My friend's conclusion was that she wanted a boyfriend but not a man in her life; that the probable end result would be her wanting to get married before ever sleeping with me, and then deciding that she hates sex, or something.
I still want to take her out sometimes, I'll admit. Like I get flashes of how she made me feel, her long, slim legs crossed as she sat in the passenger seat of my car, and I'd try not to be distracted by them. But then I think about how she would treat me and how downright boring she was... and I get really conflicted. That's partly why I've responded to her at all over the last few years. She really ticked a lot of my appearance kink boxes and it just takes a moment of weakness to start talking to her.
>”im sorry im not interested you”
Why are you being a pussy just be direct
Just be upfront about wanting to fuck her.
god I fucking hate you OP. you get a girl thats interested in you and you turn her down. fuck im jealous and angry, burn in hell
Desperate too. When you realize there's always another woman you won't take whatever scraps you can get. Sometimes you can tell early on it's not going to work with someone and it's better not to waste time/money/resources/freedom on them
for a woman to ask you out you must be like a 8/10 or something. all that bullshit you just said doesnt work for everyone
still hate you
Been there done that. Didn't work.
You either didn't read the conversation or don't get the circumstances. This is a family friend, and she's not saying "Take me out on a date" or anything like that.
Seriously, this is what would happen:
>Her: Hey did you see the Avengers yet?
>Him: I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you.
or
>Her: I haven't seen it either. I've been wanting to go tho
>Him: I'm sorry, I'm not interested in you.
You know what the response would be? I'll tell you because I've done this before. It's something along the lines of:
>Her: lol what? I was just talking about a movie. I wasn't asking you out on a date dude.
And she'd be right. And he'd feel stupid. And she probably wouldn't leave him alone anyway.
And again, back to the circumstances: This is a family friend he met at a family function. OP treating the girl impolitely or awkwardly like that is gonna wind up embarrassing his mom.
Yes, there's a way to let her down softly, but it's not by sounding like a paranoid delusional.
Jesus. You are really stupid dude. You have never known annoyance until you have a girl who you are not attracted to in any way bothering you constantly, asking you out, etc.
I think your problem is you're a moron, more than anything else.
>How do I stop her?
Definitely by replying with enough substance so that she replies back and you never stop talking.
dumb negro
>waah a girl likes me and im too good to be with her :((
so this is the "problems" normals go through
Having a shitty girl chasing you is a serious problem, and you're fucking lucky you've not had to experience it. It's not fun, it's not easy, and it's definitely not a case of being "too good."
The retarded thing is you'll go into a thread where a guy is saying "I am in love with my best friend, wat do" and tell him to move on because he's acting desperate and pathetic. You should know simply from having gone through oneitis before (which we all do at some point) that it's best to move on because you just hurt yourself, lose friends, and make life miserable for all involved until you do.
The same principles apply to desperate women who latch onto whoever gives them attention. Women stalkers are fucking horrible, not merely because they're aggravating, but because people believe the outrageous lies they spin when you don't return their affections. They can ruin friendships, get you ostracized, even cost you your job, and there's little recourse.
>ib4 hurr durr you should just smash it anyway
Doesn't work that way. In my case, the girl wouldn't sleep with me at all. In many other cases, sleeping with the girl becomes a danger in itself. Women who do creep shit and are incapable of taking a hint and moving on quietly are dangerous.