I really need help from those that are engaged, married or divorced

Seriously, talk to her about it. If you don't feel comfortable bringing it up with her then you aren't ready to marry her.

Married 5 years. Dated a shitload of women. Near as I can tell, it’s fucking luck of the draw. You can go analyze it, but life throws shit at married couples that you couldn’t possibly anticipate. People change. I’m not the same guy my wife married and neither is she. Try to find someone you can marginally respect, tolerate, trust and go from there. People put way to much faith in their ability to figure out who to be with.

No.

The idea that once you make it, you are happy all the time and doing the right thing is easy, is a lie. It is normal to feel this way. Some days are good, some days are a struggle. So if it looks good on paper and doesn't make you miserable, it is probably the right thing to do.
Marriage is the win condition of the dating game, but it is not a final stage, you have to live it as well.

Thank you for your feedback. I’m bumping this to get some additional views on this.

Engaged, wedding is this time next year, we will have been together 7 years. AMA my man

Get a pre-nup. Also this >t. married for 4, together for 9, can't get rid of her because alimony and kids

Married for 6, been with him for 7.

After a month I met him, he told me I changed his life and he was going to marry me. That he was sure, he could propose right away and he was sure he was never going to regret it.
I was sure I was going to marry him after the first serious conversation we had, before we even went on a date. I remember telling my mom I met a great dude, and telling her all the details about him that made me feel butterflies.
I'm happy, I never regretted marrying him. We went through a lot, he's not easy to be with (neither am I) but I always felt like he was the only person I could ever be with, that he was worth everything, that my life only made sense if I spent it with him. I never felt trapped. I never wanted another man.

If you're not excited about the simple fact she's alive, don't do it. Not because it's going to be easy forever, but especially because it is not going to be easy forever and if you don't feel like she's the one worth fighting for then it's never going to work.

Engaged woman (26yo) here.

Marriage isn't about beeing head over heels or getting the perfet spouse. It's about findig someone with whom you click on a level where you can imagine yourself beeing still together at your death bed. It's less about sexuality ad more about friendship. Do you thing she will be a good mother? Do you think she would divorce you because of small shit? Can she be reasoned with? How is she towards your parents? How is your relationship towards her parents? Can you both be alone for a whole weekend without a phone or entertainment and get along or even have fun?

I've been chronically depressed for over 15 years, so my hyppocampus has gone to shit and with it my ability to "feel love". I just "know" that my spouse is the right one on purely rational points.

And you will have to realise that there will always be better woman. I get asked out regularly by men which sometimeslook better than my partner. Or understand y ethno-nationalistic sperging better than my civic cuck hubby-to-be, but that's just life. At least one gets another view on reality.

You don't need to "love" her like a hormon driven teenager to actually love her. AT least this way you don't get fucked up by your heart and have to realise later that your "love" was nothing more but chemicals and rose tinted glasses.

Grass will be always greener on the other side. Be happy with what you have or you will never be happy at all.

Married male (male) here. I felt a slight tingle at the base of my balls. Also, saw she would make a good mother and we both want kids. She's two days past her normal period now, so fingers crossed.

i want to flay my husband alive currently

I want to hear this

Marriage is a load of shit man. You don't need a ceremony to prove each other's love.

I’m curious, what led to you dating so long before getting married? Did you have doubts?

Try convincing a woman raised up watching Disney romances with all of her coworkers' wedding pictures in her news feed that she doesn't need marriage

If there's a will there's a way

We started dating when I was 16 and she was 18. I went to college 5 hours away, and we saw each other once a month. I proposed at the end of 2016, and we set our wedding date two years after my graduation date so that we could save up for it. But we did the promise ring stuff after just a year or so, which was naive back then but it worked out just fine.

You don't need one, but it's nice to have one.
It's nice to start as a union, as a family and not just as two people dating each other. I like having his last name. I like wearing a wedding ring. I like being his wife, and knowing he's my husband.

And I'm not someone who has ever been big on being married, and I hate weddings. But I like belonging to him in a way that is also a little more formal, other than sentimental.

>he was the only person I could ever be with, that he was worth everything, that my life only made sense if I spent it with him. I never felt trapped. I never wanted another man.

Unfortunately I find myself noticing other girls all the time, and do feel a little trapped at times.

>Or understand my ethno-nationalistic sperging better than my civic cuck hubby-to-be, but that's just life. At least one gets another view on reality.

It's interesting you mentioned that. Because I do the feel the same way. I'm very right wing, and that's one of the things that bother me. She's very left wing and sees the world completely different from me.

But I suppose it in a way that can keep my more negative impulses in check

>Knew I had to belong to my wife before we even kissed.

???Respectfully, don't you think you have that backwards???

>i want to flay my husband alive currently
Marital bliss

I'm the girl of the first post you quoted.

My husband is very right wing, I'm more centrist. Even if he calls me a "commie" all the time, kek.
We see the world differently, but it hardly matters because we want the same things in life and for our family. That's what matters.

You belong to each other, it's not a one way thing.

>But I can't shake the doubt and the worry I feel. Forever is a really long time. It what I feel normal? Will it go away once I'm married?

What do you expect out of it? How do you envision it? What is the POINT of the whole thing?

People who get married just because they like each other don't usually last long. Marriages that last are usually founded on having children, and there's an explicit understanding that the partners intend to stay together for life.

That said, you can easily tell if the odds are good your marriage will last. It's great to have great sex, but it's important that you like you partner at a fundamental level, and that you respect her. My wife drives me nuts sometimes with her batty ideas and behavior, but I know that underneath all her insane behavior she is a good person with good intentions. I also trust her completely after 20 years of marriage - that's as in I know she's never go off with another guy. As far as the other decisions she makes, well, sometimes I wonder how she comes up with her ideas. One last thing. If you can, marry a woman who is really cheap. A woman who doesn't blow your money is a great thing to have.

Don't rush into marriage. Getting married because your gf won't stop nagging you about it is one of the stupidest reasons to get married. You should probably break up and date more if you're still curious; the "what if" will drive you miserable and crazy for the rest of your life

>But I suppose it in a way that can keep my more negative impulses in check

Yeah. I do recommend him some lit and give him my ideas, he's simply a normie so he has to learn the things himself, as he obviously can't believe stuff just because. But keep trying, I now I have the easier path, as men are easier in that regard, but still. If your woman isn't clinically retarded keep on explaining and showing things to her in reality (especially on thinsg where her empathy might play in).

And after all you are right, it give one a good reality check which one can easily forgett in our sphere.

You’re addicted to being “in love”.

Puppy love isn’t love and it doesn’t last forever either way.

>challenge accepted