I'm really tired of being friendzoned. I always put myself there by being too nice...

>Does it also give tips on how to wash pepperspray from your eyes?

Reading comprehension, faggit:

>(in a socially calibrated way of course).

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I would like it if she raped me, yes

Attracting women is a weird backwards journey. The more you better yourself, the more interesting you become, the bigger things you do, the better your body becomes is what attracts women. If you go directly to women trying to get them yo want you, you have already lost.

/thread

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That screen cap sounds Iike a trauma based overreaction desu.

Sounds similar to what my GFs response to random guys touching her would be (with less cussing).

Which sounds batshit fucking crazy... until you learn that she was repeatedly raped and beaten, and passed around by her father throughout her childhood, and to this day has daily night terrors, anxiety meds, and can’t even sit with her back exposed towards an open hallway.

>Which sounds batshit fucking crazy... until you learn

Yes, that particular story is in a section where he says about as much as this

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Oh boo hoo, someone finds you attractive! :(

Are there women actually this fucking stupid and spoiled? Are they aware that majority of the guys don't get a tiny bit of attention from the opposite sex for years, significant part of them never got it for their whole lives. How you manage to make a victim out of yourself in this situation is beyond me.

Being a at a very least average looking woman in middle and upper class in first world country is living the life on easy mode, both career and romance wise.

I have a related problem. I always need to get to know people first, before I can develop any attraction towards them.
For example people always say go to the bars and talk to people. But I don't really have an interest in talking to people I don't know, no matter how hot they may be.
But when I know someone well enough, I might develop an attraction towards someone.
Because of this, the number of people I had a crush on can be counted on one hand.
Dating apps like tinder are also not for me, because it's just a picture to go by, wich is not enough for me. What do?

What planet are you from? Girls call hot guys handsome all the time. It's a way of saying they're hot without coming off thirsty as fuck.

Maybe she should fix that before going out in public and potentially accusing an innocent guy of rape.

Lol dude what's the problem, you get to bang a barely-legal 18-19 year old whenever she comes around. The autists are going to be made as fuck at you for even acting like you have an issue.

I'd even buy the strap-on

I feel you man. but growing to love someone like that when you were unsure, means it is doomed to die out anyway. because she will never compete with someone who turns you on strait out, esp. on the long run

Probably more than a grain of truth to this.

I *will* say that there have been moments where I’ve met a girl, not given half a flying fuck about then, and then run in to them under a different set of circumstances and realized that they’re fucking spectacularly attrative I’m so many different ways.. but it’s rare and its usually predicate on me not really knowing/having paid any attention to them before (because like most, I’m almost myopic that way, people either exist to me, or they don’t. )

That being said, if what you feel is straight up uncertainty on initially meeting someone and getting to know them... that... that has a good chance of biting you in the ass.

Piggy backing on what said, true beauty and attraction comes from within. So yes it's important to be attracted to someone physically, but honestly my best relationships came about because I was attracted to the person first, and their face (gateway to the soul), and then once we started making out and fooling around and I saw them without a top on I realized 'oh wow they are pretty hot aren't they?'

The ones that caused me the most trouble were the other way around. I'd lust after them and then when we got together it was trouble. Something to consider

They're valued only for their looks and sexual attractiveness, typically not as individuals. It's hard to empathize for you because you have the polar opposite problem. Think of it like when someone gets rich and successful and they suddenly have a bunch of new friends that'll be gone when the money is. The relationships are one sided and empty.

I've had a girl threaten to kill herself if I didn't fuck her, I've had a teenager beg me to take her virginity, and both instances made me feel pretty disgusted and, shockingly, unattractive

All of your problems descend from not understanding this fact:

There is no "friendzone".

Either a girl likes you, or she doesn't. You're getting rejected and slapping a cute label on it because you can't face reality. Girls hate cowards. And obviously you don't get girls.

the fuck?
friendzone means she likes you as a friend.
she does not see you as sexually attractive/ there is no future

You can accept this and be friends
Or not and continue hopping (which is the freindzone beta labeling practice)

You cannot be true friends with women who wouldn't ever consider fucking you. You can be all friendly, but every guy-friend she would actually consider to fuck gets treated better than you.
When a woman puts you in the 'friendzone', she loses almost all respect for you. Being her 'friend' then simply means that you are useful in any way for her (most often as an emtional tampon for her problems).

At least that's my experience.

>Ugly girls wanna bang me and make it obvious but I want a girl I really like.
Lol you're not nearly as good looking as you think you are. You should probably be grateful those "ugly" girls are even willing to consider you, they're probably out of your league too.
>fuck all these girls hitting on me that I shpuld be accepting with glee
> I'm entitled to a hot supermodel admit
Maybe they're right and the internet really has ruined boys expectations to the point of making themselves miserable. Just wish youd stop blaming women for YOUR issues. Let me guess, you've never once stopped to empathize with those "ugly girls" you rejected? Seriously, even the "uglies" would dump someone like you once they got to know you

All of my BFS started off as friends, some of them were friends for years first. That's how the best relationships are made, from honest and good friendships. I won't be truly attracted to anyone I haven't taken the time to get to know. You're a fucking retard

>friendzone means she likes you as a friend.

Mmm... No. it’s actually a bit more than. If that was true then it’s just be called being a friend and wouldn’t have gained some other separate term—a term that elevates it to a condition or complete foreign territory that is almost mythological in how inescapable it is.

The term “friendzone” is used to deflect, equivocate, and mitigate personal responsibility much in the same way superstitions like “luck” and “fate” are used.

You didn’t fail because you were ill prepared , not qualified, or weren’t a good fit, you failed because you had “bad luck”, or it wasn’t fated to be, or you got “trapped” in the friendzone and never had a fair chance.

>Go to women you're interested in. Unashamedly tell them you're romantically or sexually interested in them (in a socially calibrated way of course). If they are receptive: then great! If they are not, then great - you don't have to spend time or resources being unsure/pursuing them.

this
guys put themselves in the friend-zone, then complain about it.

I think the idea of the friend zone on both sides is overblown.

Guys, the girl just doesn't want to fuck you. She's a human. She gets to decide if she fucks you. It isn't an either or kind of thing. Fucking wasn't on the table and she took it away.

Girls, most guys aren't pretending to be your bud to fuck you. There isn't a plot 99% of the time. One day they decide you're attractive so they want to learn more. So they start talking to you and acting friendly. If nothing comes of it, you're friends. If something does, you date.

Guys call the first option "putting in the friendzone" because from their pov the girl has made the decision to stay friends.

I don't know why there is so much angst about this. Both sides act like the other is plotting against them.

You're half right, user. You made valid points but are missing some. The friend zone is such a bad spot to be in for some as it's heavily stigmatized by both men and women. Men see other men in the friend zone and laugh at them for not being as good with women as them. Women laugh at men in the friend zone as they see it as the man being emotionally/financially abused AND as less of a man since she doesn't see him as a potential partner.

It's sad and unnecessary but it's a stereotype/stigma born from shitty abusive people.

found the ugo cunt
but seriously do you think one may not have standards? just fuck any ready hole like a dog?
is kys Jow Forums worthy?

This issue with the situation you just described is that friendzoned person has options for getting themselves out of the situation. If they just stopped putting the girl on a pedestal and pining after them then no one looks down on them. Everyone understands rejection just innately - if you tell them that your advances were rejected or you got turned down they commiserate with you. Where it turns to ridicule is when you keep chasing after that same person and look increasingly desperate/clingy.

While it may be anecdotal evidence, I've been ridiculed plenty for having close female friends.
>Why do you still hangout with them after they rejected you? Haha fucking beta
>You could be spending your time with other girls who might actually be interested in you
>How does it feel being an emotional tampon, user? Lol

I agree with you that most rational people wouldn't give it a second thought it's always in the back of mind: what are people thinking when I go hangout with this woman alone? Are they snickering to themselves that I'm filling in for what her boyfriend isn't doing for her? Am I fulfilling the beta stereotype?

Much of this can be blamed on youth and hollywood. We feed kids and teens a lot of shut where someone changes the person's desire to be with them.

This almost never happens irl. TV and movies need to stop romanticizing holding out.

Grow a pair of balls mate, the fact u lost ur virginity at 26 says alot about urself. Ur gettin ugly chiks? More than likely means ur ugly. A bitch will friend zone a ugly dude just so they dont hav to tell you how visualy shitty ur looking. Aim low and succeed, aim high and get friend zoned. Would you fuck a chick tht looks like horse shit ? Becuz im guessing ur letting off the same horse shit impression to the chikas.

Disregard this mouth breathing ese

OP here. I read through this thread and one concept that you guys kept pushing really stood out to me.
This guy right here. Nothing hit me harder than that in this thread. I got a tinder recently a few months ago and managed to accumulate, well, over 500 matches... but none of them materialized into anything. The girls that "friendzone" me, I thought about if I ever really made a move on them... I didn't. I just waited and hoped the would make is completely obvious they want me, which they would normally do at first, but it was never enough for me to pull the trigger.

Well, after reading that comment last night, I decided I'd just "grow a pair and ask people out" and I started talking to, well, a really smart, gorgeous 18 year old girl I met recently and this time, as we were texting, I told her I was "very interested in her"... something I have never really said to a girl before. She told me she was very interested in me too. I felt like a man when I did that. We kept talking. Instead of saying "lets hang out soon and get food", I said, "let me take you out on a date". With the other 18 year old I talk about in my OP, our first "date" was a confusing "lets get food together" deal where she even joked about it months later with a "what the fuck was that anyway?"

I can't believe this thread actually helped, but it did. Bottom line, I need to make my intentions clear, be a man, and have a spine. Thanks again to this guy ... it's what I needed to hear.

Fuck yeah, OP. You're welcome. Don't get discouraged, even if you fail. Failing at something you put effort into will always feel better than watching opportunities pass you by while you wait for good thing to happen. Simply the act of deciding to be a presence and to make your intentions known to the people in your life will make you more attractive. Always remember that people who know what they want are always more attractive than people who don't. Even if the girls who you talk to don't want the same things you want you'll never have to wonder if you could have done more. You'll never have to ask yourself "what if?". Its a very freeing feeling, much like the feeling you got after she responded to your declaration. I don't mean to drone on and on but fuck I'm proud of you dude. Keep it up.

I like how everyone here is OK with a guy that should be 2 years out of college ducking girls barely out of high school

You know, I got so much shit for that by everyone I worked with, but honestly... who really gives a fuck? What's so bad about it? I'm not giving them drugs. I'm not trying to get them to drop out and marry me. Most of the people in real life who gave me shit were guys who were VERY CLEARLY jelly and around her age and wanted to fuck her. Some girls are more mature than their age. They want men, not boys.

Counter-anecdotally: as this user my best friend is a chick. I’ve always had at least one close female friend around, No ones ever really given a flying fuck that we hang out all the time, nor have they ever accused me of “orbiter” behavior.

If anything, a lot of them would assume there was something going on between us.

Hell, even the time I *was* basically orbiting a girl (first— for lack of a better word—“love”, first kiss, first heartbreak) no one ever said shit about me orbiting her or being beta or whatever the fuck, because that just wasn’t the way I carried or conducted myself.

If you’re running in to so much resistance from people in the real world (online friends don’t count) then I would posit you either need to find less shitty friends, and/or that you have something in your demeanor that displays a gross lack of confidence, and that you definitely need to learn to grow some thicker skin and stopping as much of a fuck about what other people say, because that’s a rabbit hole that leads to deep paranoia.

>They want men, not boys.

No lie, I cringed a little when I read that... got flash backs to the one time I when I was 25 and went for a coffee date with a 18 yo. Partially to kill time, partially for shits and giggles, and partial to figure out why the fuck an 18 you interested in someone that much older.

Pretty sure she dropped that exact line after I asked her why she hit me up... and it was after telling me random shit like, “I *used* to be crazy possessive, back when I was like... 17.” (In my head I’m like.. so last year...), “what oh, I’ve never been with either of those”, “what color is your cock” about 15 minutes after meeting...

Aside from the unfiltered thirst, she seemed like a nice girl... but she was also a pretty much a baby in her head...

Every time I’ve seen a friend eat together with a significantly younger girl who’s fresh out high school and tried to make it work, it’s gone one of three ways:

1.) One day a couple of months in, it’s like a flip switches and her insecurity and lack of general life experience makes it so she becomes insanely fucking possessive
2.) one day after a year or so, she realizes that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now and that she wants to go out in life and experiment
3.) one day after a couple of years, the guy realizes that he’s getting old and tired of the party shit and wants to take life a bit more seriously, but she’s just getting to the point where she can indulge and he eventually gets sick of it and feels like she’s a giant drag that’s trying to suck him back in when all he wants to do is sit and home and watch a movie.

And in some cases I’ve even seen all three happen at once.

High school is a bubble. All your perceptions values, and understandings are pretty warped while your in it. So when you get out, there tends to be a certain adjustment period that people have to go through when you get out and in to the real world.

Ok so first off you should probably be more open to platonic relationships with girls (given how youre complaining about the "freindzone") relationships usually build from those. If a girl actually likes you it doesn't matter if you're close freinds or not. Idk that much from this post but maybe also stop looking and concern yourself more with being happy in your own company. If you can love yourself chances are someone else will.

The guy you're quoting here. One of my best friends is also a woman and lots of people either thought we were fucking or they encouraged me to try and fuck her. The thing is years ago we both agreed that we'd make a shitty couple as we both want different things from our relationships. She even offered at one point to have sex during a time when I was really really down. I'm glad I decided not to as that would have made things really complicated. She agreed but I appreciate how much she cared about me.

People called me so many terrible things when I talk about her as one of my friends (mainly on this board in threads about having women as friends). She's one of those people that no matter which direction our lives take we'll always be close even if we haven't spoken in months. It just sucks having to justify my relationship with her because she's an attractive blonde girl and I'm a pudgy nerd. We're a very unlikely pair.

>I got 500 tinder matches

Fucking how?

"At least, that's my experience"
>That's my experience so it must be a universal rule
Find better women, jesus christ. I've never mistreated my male friends just because I'm not attracted to them.
Also, the first line is the most retarded thing I've ever read. It appalls me that some men really think like this. I assume you have no female friends that you have a valuable relationship with, as clearly you don't think that you could have a true non-attracted friendship with the opposite gender. "most often as an emtional tampon for her problems". Good job. Friends confide in each other. But since she won't let you get in her hole she must be just using you, of course!

I completely agree with you, user, but I'm going to play devil's advocate. What would be your thoughts when someone told your male friend "You and anonette would be cute together" and he laughs saying "Ha! No way that would happen. Anonette?! That's funny."?

She's 18, her choices are her own. We aren't here to lock her in a cage for some purity ritual, and neither should you

How do you even find them hot? 21 year Olds look like babies. Let alone 18