Work cut my hours down to almost nothing, so I got mad and stole a printer. Sadly, I think they saw me...

Work cut my hours down to almost nothing, so I got mad and stole a printer. Sadly, I think they saw me. How do I fix this? I'm very sacred.

Attached: elsascream.jpg (502x502, 247K)

If you’re sacred, then they will forgive you. Perhaps even worship.

You express your anger by stealing shit?

lol

it probably isn't worth prosecuting you, but that depends on how much of a dick your boss is.

The last time someone was caught stealing, the boss just told him to fuck off and fired him.

>sperg flips out and steals company printer for no reason

Shit like this is why I still come here.

What's your skin color? Asking for a friend

White.

if your kyle your a fucking faggot

Do you do drugs?

fpbp

>Sadly, I think they saw me

You'll know for sure soon because they'll cut your hours down to zero.

Fuck you, fatass.

Take it out to a field and smash it

How could hey NOT see him take a printer?

fpbp

Anyway.
DO NOTHING, you idiot! You can't fix this, so don't even try and hope they didn't see you.
I repeat: YOU CAN'T FIX THIS.

return it as soon as possible. if you're asked about it, subtly communicate that you are mentally ill

>kids here won't get that reference

Thought that was OPs reference at first, why else would you steal a printer.

Because work cut my hours to almost nothing.

The other day, the boss put heavy cream in my coffee instead of onions milk, knowing that I'm lactose intolerant.

I shit myself, but did not steal a printer. Dumbass.

This is the funniest thread I've seen in a while.

Who cares? Any job that cuts your hours so low that you make less from them then you would from unemployment is no job worth a damn.
I worked at Kmart and the assholes did this to me just so I couldn't collect on unemployment. Fuck them.

(OP)
Destroy evidence.
Then pretend you don't know what happened to it and blame the Mexican janitor.

Actually don't blame the Mexican janitor. Blame the white janitor because he doesn't have tumblr clot.

Attached: office space printer scene.gif (240x138, 403K)

>Cut hours down to almost nothing
Fuck em. Get a new job that actually gives you income.
They don't want you working a decent living then find someone who will.
You might end up fired but this is legendary.
Honestly, that's pretty boss if you get away with it.

Go watch Office Space.

If you're sacred, you can get away with it, the Lord is on your side.

Did you try to talk to work before doing this?

>K-mart
My condolences. K-mart is so fucked they deliberately try to hire only drugees, criminals, and people too young to know any better because everyone else just leaves.

>I'm very sacred
>Steals printer from work that cuts hours
You just might be to Jow Forums.

>stole a printer because he was mad
It's ok. This holds up in court.

Give it back, Tyrone

Fpbp kek

This is a representation of how it happened from the way you described it, OP.

Attached: OC.jpg (531x623, 62K)

>heavy cream in my coffee instead of onions milk
M8 he was doing you a favour. You were begining to smell real bad putting onion into your coffee.

When presented with a stressful problem you behave with completely irritation behavior that creates further problems without solving the first. Huh, wonder why work cut back your hours?
Start looking for another job and try to behave like a responsible adult.

>onions milk
wtf
Why not put in lactose free milk?

Word filter.

Attached: image.jpg (500x489, 209K)

Hehe, replace milk with onion juice next time he makes a coffee for himself.

No filter btw, literal hot onion juice

Well that made my day

At least you have a way to print off new applications and resumes.

made me think about this movie for some reason

Attached: mother!.png (340x408, 248K)

No. Not anymore.