My boyfriend is a manchild with BPD and is driving me insane almost all of the time.
I love him and I've fought for this relationship for a long time but no matter how many times we discuss or try to fix something, it just reverts back and it feels like there's no end to it.
I feel like a leashed animal, i cant talk to anyone because of his extreme jealousy, he would guilt trip me or nag me to get whatever he wants, he expects me to do everything for him.
Does somebody have BPD here and do they go through the same symptoms? Extreme jealousy, anxiety, territorial, cognitive issues, black/white thinking and 0 implementation.
How do you deal with it? Can I even help him if hes weak and doesnt want/cant help himself?
My boyfriend is a manchild with BPD and is driving me insane almost all of the time
Kayden Baker
Jaxon Jones
Dump him. People with BPD can't change. Find someone better.
Leo Davis
this
William King
Can you help someone with cancer if you’re not an oncologist? BPD is a terrible mental illness, which destroys ANY relationship the sufferer engages in. You can be a support if he chooses to help himself, but you can’t do anything about his condition. You should leave him, and explain that you cannot be ariund him until he realises what he is dealing with.
Easton Carter
Well, fuck.
Leo Martin
Not necessarily true.
t. 30 year old Borderliner whose symptoms have been cut down by 90 percent since I decided I needed to change about seven years ago exactly
Asher Flores
Ive tried but he starts crying, begging, shaking, screaming and even tried to kill himself once..
Its an ugly picture and really stressful.
He has said to me that if he kills himself he will be forever imprinted in my heart and warned me that he will do it if i leave him
Are you in a relationship? Do still experience some of the symptoms i mentioned and if not what helped you? Therapy?
Jace Hall
What a fucking douchebag. He's trying to manipulate you. Worthless. Dump him.
Wyatt Edwards
That’s what someone with BPD does, they’re very skilled at manipulating people with tears, anger, you name it.
If he threatens to kill himself, you should call the police. It’s simply not your responsibility to be his lifeline. Again, you don’t have to cut him out if you love him, but you have to think of yourself first.
Zachary Davis
Ive caught him faking it a couple of times and it freaked me out.
You can tell when someone is forcing themselves to shake by tightening up their muscles.
Im usually a very chill person, I try to forgive and forget, and give him the necessary affection and attention, but it seems like an endless void to fill.
There was a period of time in which I was busy with work and he ended up flirting with some colleague of his.
I feel like a fucking idiot for not being able to quit.
He keeps saying that Im not doing enough,( e.g. Ive added some random person on the internet and that triggered his jealousy)
So thats why i was wondering can i even do something? If I isolate myself and give him what he wants will that help him or feed his condition further?
Hes seeing a therapist but honestly I think she has been rather useless
Christian Clark
Congrats you fell for meme
>love can surpass any hindrace
Pro tip: it cant.
Anthony Harris
I’m sure he’s faking it, but a visit from the police might be a good dose of reality for him.
Stop analyzing your own part in this, meeting any of his demands will do nothing for either of you, it will destroy your sanity and maintain his insanity.
Quitting any relationship is hard, quitting a co-dependant relationship is even harder. You should definitely be talking to a professional as well. If you’re close with any of his friends or relatives, try talking to them about getting him help. Meanwhile, just walk out, because it will only get harder.
Jonathan Davis
This image was so true it hurt.
Thank you for your advice, I will see a therapist and find a way out.
fml
Nathaniel Sanchez
How the hell did this guy even court you in the first place? Could you not smell the crazy in him?
Evan Price
No, I couldn't.
He had the same interests as me, was very calm and collected, made silly dull jokes like me.
His craziness started appearing after the 1st year. I clearly remember it, I was doing a project at school and I had to stay up late. I ended up having 15 missed calls and when I got home he got mad because he thought I ran away with someone else??
Nathan Fisher
>BPD
You are in for one hell of a shit-show. One of my younger sisters has this and she is difficult. She is a recovering drug addict and has attempted suicide multiple times. Always finds a way to blame other people for her problems. My parents had to take guardianship of her baby because of her problems. She causes my parents a lot of grief. Always asking them for money. If my dad were still alive he would probably refuse her, but my mom just kind of enables her. She gives her money whenever she asks for it. My other younger sister won't even talk to her anymore because she resents her for the shit she put my parents through. People with BPD just destroy everything around them.
Blake Peterson
To be fair I am of the opinion that people with BPD cannot truly love someone. Their disorder prevents them from truly caring about someone other than themselves.
Isaiah Harris
Can confirm, I lived with a single parent like this and had no help whatsoever, I was isolated. It is truly awful, I had that sinking feeling all day every day and it was a never ending unpredictable shitstorm. I only looked forward to sleeping because being unconscious meant I couldn't feel like shit.
BPD people suck absolutely everything from you. Not one second went by without something bad going on.
Save yourself, you really don't want a lifetime of this. Genuine advice is to escape and cut all contact, you can't help these people. To get what they want and vindicate themselves they will make others miserable until broken. It is the ultimate selfish act.
Xavier Hughes
>BPD
RUN. don't walk, run. I'm not fucking kidding. BPD is like tailor-made for ruining people's lives. It is never, ever, ever, worth dating someone with BPD unless you are one of those cold-hearted types that only wants to fuck and run. But since you're in a relationship with this dude, you are not that type. Get out now.
Hunter Gray
Honestly girl just get out while you can
Don't date for a while if you want but don't remain in a toxic relationship either. Too many red flags
Take our advice and don't pussy out, try to break up with him in a public place so that he doesn't try anything right then and there. He sounds like a fucking nutcase. Drop him
Kayden Smith
>Extreme jealousy
I have this. I tend to break down because people don't generally like talking to me.
>Anxiety
Well, doesn't everyone have this? There is a lot to be stressed about. Reality is difficulty, you know? Regardless, I don't really have "panic attacks".
>Territorial
Like a rhinoceros? All I can imagine is charging if you enter his area... then again, I like having my space isolated and tend to hate it if others invade my space unless that person is showering me with affection.
>Cognitive issues
Depends. Are you "logical" and believe that the table in front of you is real? Or can you accept that it might not be real, meaning the possibility of 1+1=2 might not be real, meaning anything in existence might not actually be the case and we cannot presume anything? It isn't really an issue, it is a different mindset, but "logical" people see it as an issue.
>Black/white thinking
I have described myself as black/white to pretty much everyone I meet. I tend to have the opposite in me as a general rule, a rather conflicting and confusing situation. Plus I tend to have passions for things, either I love them or I hate them.
>0 implementation
What does this even mean? I interpret it as "he isn't doing anything about his issues". Well, it might be that he doesn't feel he has issues, or perhaps he has a perfectly rational reason that you refuse to accept because you expect him to destroy his world because he is just a "manchild".
>How do you deal with it
Not sure if I even fit the criteria, but I deal with it by living like the Hulk. I go places, I destroy things, I move on. I hate myself for it, I feel lonely as I can make no real connections, and wish to kill myself knowing the world would highly benefit with me gone.
>Doesn't wan't/cant' help himself
Depends on his rationale. There may be valid reasons. Actually try listening to him, don't disregard as what he says as "excuses". As for being able to help him, if he is like me, you can't "help" him.
Robert Diaz
>flirting with some colleague of his
Wait, what do you mean by flirting? Was there any way it could be misinterpreted? That is a serious offense, if it is indeed a flirt, he should be dumped immediately. Cheaters don't deserve remorse. Someone with BPD, who is supposed to have attachment, should get that more than anyone else.
>Isolate myself, give him what he wants
This is why I could never get a girlfriend, because she never would wish to isolate herself for me and that would prove that she could care less about me. Of course, I could never get a girlfriend because no girl could stand me, but that is beside the point.
>busy with work
>manchild
Did she mean he is a NEET? That also deserves no remorse. He should at least be trying to do something, especially if he doesn't have people controlling him that prevent him from doing anything.
How on earth did he hide it for a year? I didn't think BPD to be this manipulative... that part sickens me. I may be an autistic manchild, but what I feel is genuine. I wouldn't say I am going to kill myself unless I plan to do it. I don't fake tears, I don't even know how to. I put a lot of pride in being as genuine as possible... so this is repulsive to even me.. and I am the worst catch out there.
The more I hear about BPD, the more narcissistic it sounds.