>Have coworker
>Doesn't have an interesting personality, and is dumb as bricks
>But she's hot and has a nice ass
>Sometimes chat with her, tease her, make sexual innuendos to her
>Yesterday, I slapped her ass with a flyswatter, joking that I "there was a fly on her." Later sent her a text saying that if it still hurts, I could kiss it to make it better.
Okay, how do I go from this to actually fucking?
You're gonna regret that one way or another.
>Later sent her a text saying that if it still hurts, I could kiss it to make it better.
what did she say when you swatted it, and what did she say after this
also this is bait
How did she respond to all that? Are you sure she’s actually reacting positively to that behavior, or is she just placating you because you’re her coworker and she doesn’t wanna cause a fuss? Are you her boss, supervisor or in any position to influence her career?
>implying she's not already filed a report to hr
lel
>Later sent her a text saying that if it still hurts, I could kiss it to make it better.
This cheesy shit would ONLY have a chance of working if she texted you first. You shouldn't have texted her fampai, especially after doing something you don't know if she even liked or not.
Ask if she wants to come over to see a movie after you get off work.
If she says no more than twice, she's an attention whore.
After I swatted it and said there was a fly, she was like "yeah, there are a lot of flies in here." Then I asked her what her schedule is like next week, and she said she has a lot of track-and-field shit, so perhaps the week after that.
Hasn't responded to the text yet.
I'm not her boss or anything. Not in any higher position than she is. Honestly, I'm usually super meek and just thought that maybe I'd try to come across as confident, playful, and dominant with this girl. But yeah, what I did seems inherently harassmenty, and I was just banking on her seeming too casual, chill, and flirty to give a shit or be offended. It's not the kind of thing I'd do to just any girl, she just seems the sort to be okay with it, but I can never know for sure what somebody is thinking.
>After I swatted it and said there was a fly, she was like "yeah, there are a lot of flies in here." Then I asked her what her schedule is like next week, and she said she has a lot of track-and-field shit, so perhaps the week after that.
>Hasn't responded to the text yet
You're putting yourself in a very dangerous position. Haven't you heard of #METOO ?
If I was you I'd back off at this point. Any further action could confirm that you're "sexually harrassing" her if she chose to present it that way.
enjoy getting fired for creating a hostile work environment, OP
Wrong. It would only work if she was attracted enough. If she is attractive enough anything you do will be funny /cute /hot.
Yeah what the fuck is OP thinking...
You are a kite dancing in a hurricane my friend...
I've been told by others that she's attracted to me. But I'm doubting it now. Which means I may be in trouble.
Yeah you probably made her uncomfortable as fuck since you were at work when all this shit transpired, and you know she might like her job and want to continue to be gainfully employed. So instead of causing a scene she just played it off as nothing major. You're probably fucked for being a massive retard and doing retard shit at work in the era of #metoo.
Yeah, I heard about #MeToo and support it and everything. It's just that… I just got the vibe from her personality type that she's the sort who appreciates sexual attention and would find really bold, chauvinist behaviour attractive or something.
But I probably shouldn't have done that unless the signs were overwhelmingly clear, which they weren't.
Should I apologize? Or just hope that if I cut it out now, it won't be a big deal? Maybe just cut out any suggestive advances, but just ask her out, and see what the vibe is outside of the work environment?
I dunno if it's better to apologize or just ignore it. Maybe apologize in person when you see her. Unless she gives you a no-kidding signal of interest (and not some "it's OK" bullshit, I'm talking some serious flirtation), don't ask her out because you'll be continuing the exact behavior that was making her uncomfortable in the first place
>says she's busy
>hasn't yet responded
She's not interested dude.
Next time don't do all that stupid bullshit, talk to her like a normal human a few times and then ask her to hang out. Don't be obviously horny but you can direct the evening in various ways that will lead to sex ; you can take her to eat, or hotbox a car or have her over for netflix. Each of those scenarios have obvious romantic implications and that will be when you can make a move. If she's agreed to everything else up to that point, there's a good chance she's down to fuck. If not she's either playing hard to get or just an uninterested retard.
NEVER
DATE
COWORKERS
Is she acting like she's attracted around you? Could be in a shy way or an extroverted way.
There is absolutely nothing romantic implied about any of these scenarios. Don't assume because a woman will spend one-on-one time with you or allow you spend money on her that you are entitled to sex or special attention from her. This kind of thinking falls under the same "creep" category as being blatantly dickheaded as OP. Women don't owe you shit. If you pressure her into having sex then she might just to get you to leave her alone in the future, but it could come back to haunt you later if she decides to press charges because SHE NEVER WANTED IT.
You dudes are going to get yourselves into trouble.
She is ghosting you, leave her alone, unless she approaches you again.
Yes there is. Maybe not romantic but there are intimate connotations to being alone with someone of the opposite sex, especially if you are in private. I'm really not going to read the rest of your post because to be blunt I'm sexually competent enough to know what I'm saying is true form experience. Maybe you just need to step your game up brojango.
I'm a woman. Getting to sex isn't a game you fucking creep.
I wasn't at all saying it's a game, I'm just trying to give basic tips to spergs who don't understand how to court women.
If you actually read my first post, my initial bit of advice is to simply talk to the girl like a normal human.
Also honestly don't presume to know how a man should approach a women given you are one.
What's wrong with trying to get sex so long as you don't pressure or force anybody to give it to you?
Nothing wrong with making something a game so long as you're a good sport and accept when you've lost, imo.
Op u have moves im taking notes!
To add, I think you are reading something in my post that isn't there - - my tips only apply if the girl in question IS in fact interested. Stop projecting
>Don't assume because a woman will spend one-on-one time with you or allow you spend money on her that you are entitled to sex or special attention from her.
Yeah no fuck you that’s called being misleading
>all of this concentrated stupid
Lol, don't replicate what I did, I'm autistic and did something blatantly vile. I'll be lucky if this doesn't get spread around.
I dunno, I've gone out with several women, but don't know how to initiate sexually, and they usually end up getting bored and losing interest.
I thought I'd try to reverse that. Kinda using this girl as a practice case, because I'm not emotionally invested in her, but am very physically attracted to her. Thought if I forced myself to be that sexual, dominant, "alpha" type, it might work.
But obviously my autism prevented me from seeing the middle ground between two extremes (being too safe/asexual/timid, thereby not exciting her; and being a sexual harasser).
I still don't know how to get to that middle ground. It's hard, because all the onus to escalate is on me, yet all the risk of being a creep is also on me.
Going on a date tonight with a different girl. Maybe I'll be less autistic with this one. Wish me luck.
A fine line is never easy to walk but keep at it lad! Just try to relax and stop guessing what she wants. Listen, be yourself, don't hide what YOU want and see where it goes from there. If you can keep all your spaghetti together you'll come across attractively.
>Okay, how do I go from this to actually fucking?
Dunno, you didn't actually include any information that would indicate that she responded positively.
>that spacing
You have to go back.
You should kill yourself, that was bad.
You mean the paragraph spacing?
Commonly known as reddit spacing. Sticks out like a sore thumb.
Who would read a block of text with no spacing, though?
Reddit didn't invent the "return" key.
Spacing or not, for most people a block of text is tl;dr
Condense what you are trying to say or reduce spacing to avoid "hi, reddit!" comments
Truth here. Ya gadda be cool
>There is absolutely nothing romantic implied about any of these scenarios.
What?
>I'm a woman.
Checks out
>literally says bee yourself
I never said it was easy. But the more based you are the less hard you have to try.
Dude just wait for an answer or see how she acts when she next sees you. It looks bad on you if you keep going, but besides that you look desperate if you send multiple texts in a row
Wow dude you totally lack calibration. Yeah you should be sexually aggressive because you will rarely get anywhere if you are completely passive, but when you make any move on a girl you really need to check and act on her response. You will get fired for sexual harassment. Stop.
>next week on #metoo
Lmao what a dumb ass
Are you a virgin? You sound like one.
As of last night, no.
But I pretty much still am one, because it went terribly and I couldn't stay up.
But that's another thread, I guess.
Someone kill me.
>Getting to sex isn't a game
It is though? Once you understand how simple and dumb most women are it becomes a flowchart.
Why do you think girls always screech all guys are assholes, yet keep falling into the same cycle?
1. If this is a good job or your career than you are playing with fire with that kind of behavior in the workplace.
2. You are taking a risk for a girl that you only have interest in as a throwaway bang.
3. If you think the risk v reward is worth it proceed. I would advise trying to move all unprofessional conduct off site but seems like you don't care so just do you OP.
It's a grocery store job because I'm an undergrad. Not the professional world or anything, but I've been there a while, and am making pretty good pay for stacking fruit.
She's also young, a little bit younger than me, so I don't see her being bothered enough by it to be upset. I dunno, seems more like young-folk horse play.
Thanks for the reply OP. I say go ahead then. I would still advise trying to avoid anything too out of line at work. And probably be smart to be honest about your intentions. Just let her know if you aren't looking for a serious relationship. I suggest that if you want to keep things cool at work with her as well as other coworkers.
You are going to get fired.
Stop looking at porn, seriously. Maybe nofap a few days at a time. You'll have a raging hardon next time you're with a girl IRL, she won't care if you're a two-pump chump if you blow her away with those strokes.
I'll try that. I never thought porn was desensitizing me, because I still get plenty of erections even just seeing hot girls in clothes during my day or something.
I've read it's easier to get a girl off from penetration if you get her off with her clitoris first. So I tried going down on her, but she didn't want me to because she didn't have protection (I thought that transmitting herpes through cunnilingus is almost impossible?) I offered to make a dental dam out of a condom, but she was like "that's okay."
Even so, watching pronagraphy subconsciously fills your brain with images of how sex should go, how the woman should react [spoiler]how big your cock should be[/spoiler] and generally none of that helps with actual fucking and at worst creates the type of anxiety that kills boners.
Also ignore what you've read. You're not supposed to be an expert your first few times, nor are women at their most open during this stage.
I'd recommend starting with kissing and heavy petting (grab tits/ass/waist), then before you fuck her get a finger or two in there. You'll be able to tell if she's turned on enough to fug.
We did start with making out, touching, groping, etc. I grabbed/sucked her breasts, slapped her ass, fingered her, etc. She seemed to react most positively to the fingering.
This is embarassing, but since it was dark and we were under blankets, it was hard for me to find her clit to stimulate that. I know it was my first time, but I wasn't expecting to be so bad that I couldn't even find my way around her. I mean, I could label a diagram of a vagina, but feeling your way around it in real life is much harder.
I didn't tell her it was my first time, because I'm way too old for that to be normal (almost 24).
She knows better how to stimulate her clit better than you do. Don't worry about it desu. Women either don't know their own bodies themselves, or have an intimate knowledge. Point is they don't often expect dudes to know how to please them and have set a pretty low bar with regards to stuff like clirotal stimulation.