/Aus/pol lazy cunt edition

Mate I'm so white I've got cream on top. Got my Auntie who married a malteaser to teach the misso wog cooking.

Nah the missus will drink some. I'll probably be around the litre mark.

Good Morning!

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>cream on top
Gook detected, get him boys

One apricot danish and an 600ml Oak Egg Nog from the n(IGA)z around the corner.
>pick actually related
Cos I'm not that hungry and a just a big thirsty.

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Apparently you are a Gook. I'm supposed to getcha!

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What kind of pleb doesn't buy cream top milk. Are you fuckin spasticsted mate?

Yeah nah look you’ve got me there, Chang, I do

Kekz were had.

Wow.. you loser

Fuck mate, guess I should fuckin run aye? Better zip up me head first.

>Bump 4 bantz
Auspoll - how many of you Aussies have eaten kangaroo steak?

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Pizza.

Just had a swim and now im shit posting.

it tastes like half beef half chicken, it's weird nobody likes it

Suck some more reffo dick Hans. Don't be fuckin replying to me you absolute cuck. Du bist ein Untermensch.

It was really tough when I had it.
I had it while I was living in Germany, strangely enough.
Lidl would have these sales where they sold random shit and when I saw that meat I bought a couple.
Even after marinating it overnight it was still tough as fuck.

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Ah you're alright. Have more Desert Limes. You can bring them back to China! Can grow in Gansu.

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Are you one of those losers that drinks premixed JD and coke? Stop pretending you are drinking it straight you try hard.
Your missus gave me a blowie for a bag of whiteox I found in a bus shelter you bogan idiot

spaghetti bog you cheeky cunt

yeah mine was pretty dry, and it was marinated in some sauce to hide that it tasted fucked

Chicken Roast.

Fucking love roasts.

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>Your missus gave me a blowie for a bag of whiteox I found in a bus shelter you bogan idiot
This is the most Australian sentence I have read, to date.

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Anthony Mundine insists there is not enough money in the world to entice him back into a boxing ring in the wake of his savage first-round defeat at the hands of Jeff Horn at Suncorp Stadium.

The 43-year-old was blown away by his younger opponent inside two minutes in Brisbane, with Horn finding a home for some damaging body shots early before finishing Mundine with a left hook that sent him sprawling to the canvas.

Referee Phil Austin rightly waved Horn off as Mundine struggled to recover. As it transpired, he had little business being in the ring with a fighter of Horn's vintage and calibre and was lucky to walk away with minimal damage.

Mundine had already said he would retire if he lost the bout but that's never exactly been an iron-clad guarantee in the fight game. Some fighters have to retire three or four times before they finally hang up the gloves for good.
Mismatch: Anthony Mundine was hammered by Jeff Horn in just over one minute.

But Mundine says he's done for good and the manner of his defeat would suggest that's the only possible decision. Even in the unlikely event of another decent fight being put on the table, he said the time had arrived for him to walk away.
Related Article
A salesman to the end, the real Anthony Mundine can finally stand up
Anthony Mundine
A salesman to the end, the real Anthony Mundine can finally stand up
"No man, I'm done. Jeff proved tonight there is a new generation. Physically I felt fine, mentally I felt fine. But that's boxing," Mundine said.

"Bottle of JD" is slang for "bag of goon" you silly cunt. He's gonna hang it on the clothesline and play a solo round of goon of fortune while his missus hammers away at the steak before she cooks it.

>It has to be a 10 hour gap otherwise it's illegal
Wow, government did something right.

Employers are the worst of parasites.
>Hurr make money, optimize for dollars
>treat humans like machine parts, run any good ones you find into the ground to get as much value as possible out of them before they can't or refuse to work anymore.

I would share the madness that goes on at my company, but it would be a violation of my employment contract to do so. Not even kidding.

They also claim ownership of anything I invent relevant to industry as long as I work there, my role is entirely production, nothing R&D related, it just means I work on nothing of importance until I leave this place.

Ezekiel chapter 34, James chapter 5

>Warning to Rich Oppressors

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.
James 5:1-6

See also:
Ezekiel chapter 34

Jokes on you I'm from The US, I've infiltrated their culture to bed their women and collect dole money.

Ever bedded an Aboriginal, Seppo?

It is very much dependent on the quality of the meat and good preparation. I have had Kangaroo steak which is delicious. It was grilled over flame, served medium rare, with a strong fruity sauce, very sweet and tangy (some kind of red wine/plum syrup). In this case, a good experience.

If kangaroo is not prepared well, it smells very much like dog food, and tastes as one might expect dog food to taste.

Also, for shits and giggles, kangaroo meat is often referred to by chefs as 'Skippy', in reference to the eponymous kangaroo star of a popular children's show from a few decades ago.

Fuck off cunt we don't smoke that fuckin prisoner shit. My missus wouldn't suck off any cunt for less than champion ruby. What kind of fuckwitted deadshit cunt goes anywhere near bus shelters anyway? Buy a fuckin car you povo cunt.

probably a fried egg with some bacon and veg. Cheap, won't be hungry again till tomorrow mid arvo.

I've heard rumors that Australian women are most likely to put out on the first date.
Still not sure whether that's a good or bad thing though.
Either way, nail one for the stars and stripes user.

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oi niggers bash anyone that talks like a faggot ok or your BAESHED @ SGL
youtube.com/watch?v=yK_XPM2ufK0

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Don't be gross, seriously these people are as dumb as they look. I can do the accent now and they don't even notice. All I do is talk like an absolute retard and they eat it up.

They especially enjoy it when you incorporate regional slang and being openly racist towards Asians.

I should have been in the CIA like my grandfather was, though I could only go to dumb countries like Australia or maybe New Zealand

i heard they got $22k a second
i should have been a boxer
looks easy
i could smash mundine
just forget about the forehead it'd be 2inches thick

yeh because they are walking talking biobombs
surrender

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Ah you're a man of the Ngurra now!

Heres a Tip, if an Australian woman tells you to your face that she "hates" yanks that means she wants to fuck you.
Its not really an accomplishment being they are as promiscuous as Gay men are in the states

Can confirm that Australian women are easier than British slags.

>kangaroo meat is often referred to by chefs as 'Skippy', in reference to the eponymous kangaroo star of a popular children's show
That's fucking hilarious. In retrospect, due to the gamey taste it probably would have been better with a fruity or zesty sauce. I was living in krautland though, and had little to work with.
I wound up using a combination of onions sauce, garlic, and oyster sauce as a marinade.
Had some Argentinian red wine that was pretty good with it though. Not too shabby, if I go back for a master's degree maybe I'll try it again if they have it.

That's pretty true, they're all whores and sluts and most of them are mentally not all there.

women are faggots n have cooties

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Aussie women are south sea valley girls. Fucking dumber if anything.

Let me guess, you bought the steak from an Aldi?

Yikes, noted.
Interesting, but I guess it kinda falls into that whole "foreigners are more interesting" BS that people buy into.
That's strange considering that what I've seen of bonglands women is not very impressive. No offense, Nigel.
American women mostly only care about money, though. But if you're physically decent, it's pretty easy to pick them up for a one night stand.

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You know what the funny thing is? Australian women have adapted to behave like stereotypical men because the average Aussie guy is lately homosexual and is turned off by anything feminine.

Image a 8/10 19 yearold that acts like Jon Belushi from animal house. Way more sickening than you would think

Meatloaf, ala Chef John from Foodwishes dot com

Oh grow the fuck up!
It’s like the Easter bunny. There’s no such thing as an Australian women it’s all just that poofter Johnno in a dress m8

am i gay lads?

>flag

Close, it was Lidl. Like I said.

ft4u

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OY VEY!

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answer my fucking question poofter

Probably.

The centrelink generation.

Anyone else kinda pissed off about the whole Gavin Mcinnes thing? I mean I don’t think much of him and the whole proud boys wankery but something about the ban is annoying me more than it should.

Ping is a Chinese name not a Japanese name

Sounds like a grouse deal. Got any more of that white ox there bloke?

niggers i told you to not to let non australians own land and now I can't vote without being fined 7 figures or more.
also why is the chinese army operating of our land ?

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Yeah, it's pretty fucked.
To be honest I hate that faggot, but I don't think he should be barred from entering the country, despite his fuckery.

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Fuck awfff cunt, most thots act like that but the feminine as fuck thots easily get the most attention.

Source: Last night at the pub.

youll all die im immortal dumb cunts deport the foreigners.

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What is this whole Centrelink stuff about? I always heard it was Aboriginals who use it.

I don't like the dropkick either, but the reason why is the problem. He was banned solely because our politicians didn't want to hear all the crying from the twitter sooksquad.

I know fellow burger, I lived in Japan for some time as well.
I also minored in it at University. The jokes still funny though.
>Lighten up, desu.

Yes cunt you're a faggot. Unless you're cornish then you might be OK.

Daily Reminder Antifa is a Government-Controlled Militia.

malcolm turnbull rapes and kills little chinese babies.

>thots

Stop using American ghetto slang you unoriginal do nothing. You steal everything from the US its pathetic.
You don't even make Holdens anymore (which by the way are 99% designed in Dearborn Michigan)

aussies too
that faggot needs 2 get hit wit a semi

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What's the legal drinkimg age in rooland, by the way?

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Same as UK.

Youth allowance, then really easy dole to get an exploit once you are too old for that. Like JSA but without actually having to prove you looked for work. Also a lot of 20 something were exploiting uni assistance. There is no real industry left in this country so it is pretty much nothing but burger flippers, tradies and dole bludgers.

I'll tell you one thing that will trip you out, you will never see people casually smoke meth like they do here. Its bizarre, this is a land of human diarrhea people

Lmao

China has off-shored most stuff and sent their agents to infiltrate Aussie society. At least Australia still has Agriculture.

Fucking savage.

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Who gives a fuck you poofter cunt? Holden is and always was a fucking meme brand anyway. I honestly don't give a half of a fuck what's American and what isn't. If America makes a good enough Ford I'll buy the cunt, until then I'll stick with my Falcon.

I've never seen people smoke it firsthand,but there are a fuckton of meth addicts around the Appalachians where I went to University for a while.
Human diarrhea people is a pretty good description...
Did k2 ever make it big over there? Bath salts?
That was pretty big at the time too. People were wigging the fuck out.

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>good enough Ford
Kek, more people are buying Subaru's now than ever here. Ford sucks ass, bro.

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Why did he hit that lady?

>Bath salts

They called it "plant food" here and the UK
It wasn't as endemic

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Sounds gooky. Gnar

AUSTRALIA CEASED TO BE COOL FOR ME THE MOMENT THEY BANNED OTC CODEINE

Got a box of hello fresh delivered

American Fords suck ass I agree. Hence why I won't buy one here. Before they stopped production the Australian Falcon was on par with a BMW M5 for 1/4 the price. No fucking way am I selling my GS for a mustang with a similar engine minus the supercharger, minus 2 doors, minus build quality & minus about 150hp.

Ran out of ganja so no appetite, dinner is Corona and a bottle of Rose, maybe with a bit of pate so I don't get sick drinking on an empty stomach

oh me too man, that was a treat every now and then

Not a lady that’s me woife