At what point am I supposed to know my girlfriend/ex girlfriend ghosted me and I'm single again?

The first thing I posted was something like,

"Should I consider myself ghosted now? You need to decide whether you like or dislike me, seriously."

Then I posted "???"

And just now I posted "What is your fucking problem?"

She deleted all three posts. Still hasn't unfriended me. Still hasn't read any of the messages I sent her in the last few days. Absolutely nothing. This is cruel. I want her to break up with me at this point. Well, I don't but, you know what I mean. I don't even want to unfriend her because, due to my privacy settings if I do that she will never have any method of contacting me again, and I want an explanation. I just paid 700 dollars for the process needed to get a work visa for her country too. That was a lot of time, effort, and money spent on what i thought was something serious. She knew I was doing this too.

Ouch. Shit sucks, OP. I'm sorry to hear about the visa.

Well, it's definitely over. At this point she's just avoiding communication because she's too weak to say it to your face. She's likely had doubts about the relationship for a long time, but repressed them because she didn't want to hurt you. Eventually she became backed into a corner where she couldn't go on and was too afraid to explain so she just blocked it all out.

This is based on my own experience. Maybe it's different for her.

There's no way to force her to answer, and escalating your messages will only make it worse. Your best bet is to make it clear you accept that the relationship is over, and all that you are after is closure. Try to take away her fear of a painful interaction. Also, wait a couple days before you message her again. It's more likely to be received as a stand alone message.

That is shitty. Travel there anyway and fuck a random chick or a hooker then post it on her wall. I wonder if I should do the same for the girl who ghosted me. I could post something on her instagram.

You're right, escalating things WILL 100% only make it worse. She's forcing me to do this. She is knowingly pushing me. This is her fault. Not mine. I was right about to post this on her wall when you responded to me, you helped me cool off. Because of the character limit I'll have to post it as a response to this post. Then I'm going to go outside, have a cigarette and stew on it for five minutes. Then I'm going to come back inside, see what advice you anons have given me, and I'll decide whether I want to continue to escalate this or walk away from it and give her another 24 hours to explain herself.

Part 1/2

"Either unfriend me then or explain to me what happened. If this is about the Visa than just tell me, but we talked about me staying with you for a long time and you never told me that you didn't want to, you told me it was okay tons of times and that you wanted to do it if we spoke in advance about the dates. Talk to me or unfriend me, you can't delete whatever I post on your wall while you're sleeping by the way.

If you go ahead and unfriend me I'll just take that as you saying we are done. Thanks for wasting so much of my time. By the way you're a great liar, I seriously thought that you wanted to do this with me."

A girl ghosting you is a shitty experience because you don't see it coming and you did nothing wrong, she just does it out of nowhere for no reason.

"All I'm asking is for you to stop ghosting me like a little damn kid and just tell me to go away if that's what you want me to do. You can't go from acting like you have all these feelings for me and that I'm one of your best friends and that we really care about each other and then just completely ghost me and act like nothing happened. Unfriend me if that's how you feel. If you still care, then tell me what's going on in a private message. Which, I would be happy to send you by the way instead of posting this shit in fucking public on your wall, but you haven't read any of my messages for like six days so whatever. I'll consider being unfriended you breaking up with me."

Heading out for a smoke now. I will try to cool off, but I really appreciate you guys' advice.

Good. You seem like a smart guy. All of that is true, but she already knows that. Best to take it slow.

I think I'm going to add one of her irl friends and ask him about it. She's always told me never to do that. I feel like it's less crazy and inappropriate than borderline threatening her on her wall and it's the only chance I feel like I have of getting the truth. Once I do something drastic though there's no going back. But at this point I see no reason to believe there's anything left to salvage anyways. If someone thinks this is a bad move please say so now. I feel like crying.

>irl friend
>him

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Don't worry about this specific guy. I'm not in denial that she could be cucking me but not with him. This guy is a crippled manlet that she's literally constantly made fun of to me for over a year now. If she is cucking me, it's not with him.

I definitely feel for you from this thread. I am terrified of this happening to me if I ever happen to run into a female that initially likes me. There are so many stories out there exactly like this one, or even worse, so how the fuck are you ever supposed to trust that this won't just happen out of the blue someday? Woman's love truly is short-lived. It's so infuriating how women are somehow made out to always be the victims of this kind of bullshit when men are clearly hurt WAY more by the loss fo a relationship.

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I think it's a good move. At this point there is already no going back. It's still possible to exit this gracefully though, despite her duplicity.

You're a good guy, OP. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. Sad to think that this might have been prevented if she had been upfront about her doubts in the first place.

>men are clearly hurt WAY more by the loss of a relationship

Not always the case. It's tough for everyone.

Yeah, if a woman is actually chaste and ends up getting manipulated by some sociopath who steals her virginity when she thought she'd be getting a husband, I would agree. Most of the time, however, getting a new relationship to replace the last is absolutely no problem for women, and they don't suffer the same mental anguish men do.

Wait OP you paid $700 for her to get a Visa? Is that what you just said?

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What does virginity have to do with mental anguish from a breakup? Anyone who gets blindsided by a breakup from someone they loved will be emotionally destroyed.

I added her male friend now and he's telling me everything. It's just as bad as r9k would say. She's been using me this entire time.

>What does virginity have to do with mental anguish from a breakup?
I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own. I do agree that women aren't completely unaffected by breakups, but I'm arguing that men (at least AVERAGE men, not freakishly high value men) are generally more devastated by them. Men get their lives ruined by divorce. They lose everything. They are permanently and harshly emasculated when their wife leaves them, if the wife leaves, she probably already had another future secured, and any love she had for her husband had long passed.

Let"s hear it. Post some of the convo.

daily reminder that women will all do this if they get bored of you

I will, when I'm not dealing with this. Sorry I am not posting much, it's demanding too much of my attention. I'm talking to two people who are both telling me the other is lying to me and manipulating me.

I feel you OP I had a similar experience worst thing we knew each other irl and actually went on a date
She stopped talking to me altogether after she got bored of me

OP fell for some roastie scam where they get you to spend $700 on a ((("Visa"))) for them and then ghost you lol

What a shitshow. Remember that you approach this from the moral high ground, but don't let it make you angry. If you stay collected then you will come out on top. Good luck.

It was his own Visa, I believe.

I didn't pay money to her, I paid money to the government of her country. If you think I sent this girl money thinking she would somehow get me a visa, you're an idiot. She didn't get a cent of that. Processing a visa takes money dude, I didn't get a visitation visa. I got a work visa, which allows me to both live in her country and get a job and work there. Internet relationships are definitely a meme, the only reason I did this is because I'm in a position where I have the funds and the opportunity to fly across the world and not make it an internet relationship.

It wasn't exactly 700, I was just angry and exaggerating, but it was a few hundred.

Post convo user

So did you ever see her on webcam?

Did you speak to her on the phone?

Were your conversations interesting and intimate?

>Getting into an IRL relationship with a woman where you need to fly to a different country and start a life with her
GOOD LORD NO
worst thing ever
she did you a favour dude

Holy fucking shit, is that a new 9/11 joke?

Its 2018. Of course I've seen her on webcam. I've been seeing her on webcam for the last five years. This isn't some 2002 to catch a predator shit.

relationships are basically RNG, long distance ones are basically a much higher chance of being shit and fucking you up. Especially if you leave that shit for 5 years as says

You were indecisive too long and she just got somebody else and ghosted you because deep down she resents you for being an indecisive weakling I reckon (no offence)

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When she is not online, leave a comment on her profile: "all these pictures of you violating your ass with random items you sent me didn't mean anything to you?"

To clarify, I have not been e-dating her for five years. We were good friends for five years, the e-dating only started about six weeks ago. If you think I'd maintain a LDR for five years than you're assuming I'm much stupider than I actually am. I got into this and pretty much immediately started the process needed to make it not an LDR.

Also, we squared everything away and it's all back to normal. It would take much too long to explain how and why, if you want to assume I'm going to get ultra-cucked, go ahead and assume that I guess. I have to go to work now so I really can't update anymore.

Until further notice, it looks like this thread has a happy ending.

Long distance isn't a thing op. The second she found someone attractive irl she dropped you.

Jesus christ user use your brain for a single minute

She was never your gf. She is done larping with you. Get the hint and stop contact.
Advice to all Anons. Save everyone's time and be upfront with Internet only gfs and LDRs. A girlfriend is someone you actually have physical contact with.
OP, you were ghosted by a ghost. Being surprised or hurt by this is on you.

I feel bad for laughing at this

She has a real life bf OP and doing the right thing for him by cutting you off.

oh shit op, your thread got moved to r/adv. BASED MODS

Ghosting him is doing the right thing? God you fucking Reddit normalniggers on Jow Forums need to all be flushed down the toilet like the peanut-speckled turds you are.

Here's a tip for anons like OP in the future. Don't ever do what OP did. Ever. It's super cringey. Especially posting on her wall and making their personal problems public. OP should have gotten the hint long before and started moving on. Yeah, it sucks, but it doesn't excuse the weird behavior on his part.