No intimacy

My gf doesn't want any intimacy lately in our relationship. No sex, no kisses, pretty much only hugs. Now I know this isn't personal because she's very direct and would leave me if she didn't want me but she still loves me and wants to stay with me. Should I be able to accept this? Does this happen in other relationships? What do you guys think?

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What did she tell you when you talked to her about it?

>inb4 she's using/cheating on you
No I know her she's not a slut. She would break up with me if she wanted someone else.

She told me she wants space and doesn't have the energy to deal with a normal relationship rn.

She's not attracted to you anymore. She may still love you in a friend way but no intimacy means her feelings have died or are dying. How long have you been together? Are you living together?

yikes, sounds like she's trying to dump you without actually dumping you.

I'd pull back. Maybe tell her you think it's a good idea if you both see other people.

You're about to be dumped.
This is the exact behaviour my ex did leading up to getting dumped xmas day.

She knows she already has you wrapped around her finger. That you'll happily not have sex and end up becoming a platonic friend, which is what you currently are.
She's testing to see if you'd work as just friends.

>What to do:

I made the mistake of pushing for intimacy and getting anxious at the increasing distance. Don't do this, it just pushes them further away.

EITHER:

1. Break up with her. It'll show you won't tolerate this behaviour, you're an alpha and this doesn't cut it for you.
She'll be shocked and will be wanting you back, you have the power now, which makes you attractive.

2. At the very least keep contact with her to a minimum, give her the space to miss you.
She'll be intimate when she's ready, but you need to back WAY OFF and show you're losing interest without the intimacy.

I had this same thing happening in my previous relationship. It's probably also the reason we broke up.

It can mean 2 things, 1 she has no intimate feelings for you any longer. She may still love you in a sense that she cares about you but she's no longer attracted to you.
2, she has too much on her head right now. Does she look stressful lately? My ex started to act weird after she got a promotion at work as a store manager. She was always tired, there was less sex and less intimacy like you described, she was moody, less playful and barely enthusiastic about anything.

Pressuring your girl to be more intimate can give the opposite effect. She will feel like being with you becomes a burden because suddenly it's no longer about "I want to hug you because I want to hug!" but "I have to hug you because you want me to." You'll start to become annoying to her. Small things that she never noticed about you will start nagging on her. Irrelevant shit like how you eat for example.

Have a good talk with her about it and if she needs time/space, then give her time/space. Either way it's a bad sign. I can't really help you out here since I wasn't able to fix my own relationship either.

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We've been together for a year. We don't live together. She's not attracted to herself either.
Seems like I should either end this now or pull back as much I can. (It won't be easy I feel the constant need through my day to text her)
She IS pretty stressed and depressed though.
Im just unsure about whether this can go back to the way it was. It would kill me if she started to have feelings for someone else as she's getting herself back together.
Does pulling back worked for anyone?

Dump her ass. She's hurting you.

Tells us more about your situation OP.
Ages? Living arrangements? How long you have been together and how the intimacy was compared to now, how often were you showing affection and having sex and how often or how long has it been?
Basic advice is evaluate how much do you value this relationship and want to work on things.
Then talk to her about making time for intimacy at least once a week (preferably twice). If she won't do that then I would say break up with her. You could "take a break" but I always found the logistics of that too much work myself. Each partner defining what that means and so on.
Good luck.

Hey OP. Gave me the info while I was writing a post.
I pulled back and it is working better now. I moved out. So it was pretty drastic. But I was prepared for it to end. If you want it to work try making it work first.

Here's exactly what to do.
Next time you see her, tell her you love her but that her behaviour just doesn't work for you and you need time alone.
Dump her.

She'll realised you're a higher status man than she thought and that you won't tolerate this crap.
She'll be back and passionate within a month, probably a week.

>try making it work first
No, no and no. She has lost interest. The more you push, the more it pushes her away even further.
It only makes the relationship even more one sided and uneven.

You say she's stressed and depressed, are you still dating her OP? Do you take her out and do fun things like the beginning of your relationship?

Failing that, I hate to say it but dread game works. It might be time to pull back and start preparing yourself to be on the market again. Do you have friends? Spend more time with them. Spend some time in the gym. Reduce contact with her to a minimum. Leave the door open. If she loves you she'll be alarmed at the change and start chasing you especially if she thinks there might be another girl involved. Or she might just decide to end the relationship. You need to be prepared for both possibilities

Started dating exactly a year ago. She didn't officially move in but spent 3 months at my place then in the summer I spent one at theirs. I'm 24 she's 17 (chill it's legal here). About half a year ago she started having medical issues that affected her in her intimacy towards me and ever since it's been decreasing. We only had sex pretty much once every month but oral was happening a lot more often (totally fine by me). I did push her a lot about giving me more bjs when she stopped doing that and I think I made her feel kinda repulsed towards me with that. She finds me attractive but doesn't wanna do anything sexual now.

I'm always trying to be affectionate but she seems exhausted with it. She doesn't make me feel like I should flirt with her (even though I'm pretty bad at it) Also, I have no friends lmao.

Yeah I'm sorry to say but this relationship has pretty much fizzled out. And it's to be expected she's only 17, definitely not ready for anything long term or at least with you. Do with that what you will

Chad looked at her, its over, he's plunging her clunge right now

She DOES say I should flirt more and do more dates though?? Maybe I should try a different approach?
She's pretty mature for her age actually.
I think what I forgot to mention is that she's bipolar. It's affecting everything in a lot of ways.

For your own sanity you should end it. It's going to end in pain for you either way

I kinda want to detach myself while we're still together.
I'm only seeing her once about every 7-10 days. Should I cancel real life contact?

This
That and move on as fast as you can. Delete everything you had about her.
Hoping it'll all work out or if only you did this one thing will drive a man insane.

As much as you appreciate how direct she is, you should be able to communicate, too. Talk to her about what your thoughts are. Don't ask other people about what your thoughts should be.
I've learned (8 years relationship with 1 year break in between) that an important factor for a woman to be sexually attracted to a man is that the man has some form of individuality/independence. That doesn't mean you must run off cheating on her, but you should realize how her attitude affects you, even if she doesn't do it to hurt you. It's important to realize that you are allowed to feel hurt without anyone having bad intentions. After all, this must be a confusing and painful situation for you. I'll even guess that you feel ashamed for your hurt feelings deep down. Otherwise, you wouldn't seek advice from strangers.

Especially if she is bipolar, she needs to feel that she is loved unconditionally. This means that you should communicate that you are confused and hurt, but that those are your feelings. Real love is based on boundaries. At the same time, you must realize that the fact that she doesn't want to have sex at the moment are her feelings. You shouldn't take on certain feelings, because it seems to be the only convenient option. Sometimes, confrontation is necessary. But it can be carried out in a way that eventually benefits both. For this to be possible, you have to set your own boundaries, respect them, and communicate openly and about your feelings.

I was just thinking about this independency thing a moment ago. (This is my first relationship though) I depend on her way too much, as if I'm not a full person on my own. I'm starting to realize this and try to take things into my hand.

That unconditional love is exactly what I'm trying to give her to let her know I accept her as she is. But it doesn take a huge toll on my feeling. This is definitely not a usual relationship so I'm trying to be as open as I can, but to get hurt less in the future I have to detach from her for now. Whatever the outcome may be, this will make it easier to handle.

That is often the case. You might want to look into codependency, type it in on youtube. I have had and continue to have similar traits in my relationships. It was important for me to understand that our "individual identity" is hugely influenced by the way we are brought up, and that we transfer our reactions towards our parents to our other affective relationships. My guess is you have trouble defining clear boundaries for yourself. Realizing what I said before helps you actually perceive your thoughts and emotions as programmed reactions to the input you get from your surroundings. Typically, people get emotionally triggered by certain situations, words, actions or even smells or visual input. A famous and fitting example would be that females who've had a bad relationship with their dad will often instinctively avoid men with (even just physically) similar traits.
Once you have realized this distinction between the "you" and your thoughts and emotions, you can set boundaries. A typical example is that some people (including my past self) tend to feel guilty when setting boundaries. Realizing that this guilt is a response of your system based on information you have gathered in life helps you to accept this feeling. In this way, you remove the resistance there is to setting boundaries, and you will be able to feel what your own desires actually are or aren't.

She's getting fucked by Chad 300%

She is either cheating on you or has already mentally dumped you