How do I meet and approach girls at bars? It feels very akward to talk to people and everyone at bars seems to come in groups already and are busy talking to each other. How do I approach the group or find a girl by her self? Will people think I'm weird foe coming alone?
Also half the time it's either a bunch of guys or women older than 35. How do I meet girls around the age of 22-26 without using dating sities?
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Join a low tier co-ed sports team
Soccer is great. Lots of hot girls who run.
If you're on a team with no single cuties, keep looking. Also remember those girls do have friends.
>How do I meet girls around the age of 22-26 without using dating sities?
Do shit. If you are not meeting people, you are not doing new things. Join a club, a class, a gym, volunteer, find a roleplaying group, form a band, do SOMETHING with your time that takes you to new places.
But here's the thing. This advice will improve your life in general, slowly. Your dating life will improve even slower than that. If you are desperate for dates, then use an app. If you'd rather just have a better social life in general (which includes a better dating life), then just start doing more with your time.
Well so far I've been doing the gym 3 times a week for 5 week now.
Also, I've been trying to do things I enjoy (classical concerts, operas, art museums) however it's mostly old people or couples at these places. The rare times I saw girls by themselves at these events it was before I started my "self-improvement" and thus was too shy to even think about saying hi. I mean I really am sort of too shy to even go to my favorite events alone. Normally I'll drag a friend to one of my Beethoven concerts so I'm not alone and use them as a crutch to not talk to new people.
Lift weights. Make a gym buddy. Go out with your gym buddy. Maybe take a cooking class or some shit. Try not to fall in love with your gym buddy.
Not a single one of the activities you picked are good for meeting people. Unless by "gym" you mean a class or something where you interact with people, everything you mention is done by yourself.
No it's just a small gym with at most 4 people at a time. The best I did was make small talk with the girl also lifting joking with her that I didn't know what I was doing.
I'm not huge into playing sports so I wouldn't have fun doing a soccer team. My biggest passions are music and art but as you said, You're not really interacting with people but by sitting down for a classical symphony.
Thats what lead me to my OP where I figure the only way I could meet new people and practice being social is to try talking to people at bars downtown.
I don't even hope to get a girlfriend. Even just having a female friend would be one step closer to my goals.
>How do I meet girls around the age of 22-26 without using dating sities?
Do mixed sex activities that 22-26 year olds like and become a regular face. If you're good looking, cool and fun to be around girls will enter your orbit and you can ask them out. It could be a hiking club, some kind of class, Bible study or whatever. It's really about exposure and repeated exposure at that. Some people can go up and game complete strangers but for many (like myself) that's fighting an uphill battle. Just get out and get involved with life, women will come along. And talk to everyone. Take real interest in their lives.
>practice being social
Do or do not, there is no try. You can't treat a social interaction like an experiment. You ant to make friends? Make friends. Have fun, be fun, share and enjoy.
Stop talking about practice, stop talking about goals. If you want friendship, treat it like friendship.
Do you know why classes are so good for making friends? Because you are A) forced to interact, B) sharing downtime before class starts, and C) leaving at the same time.
I really think picking a class about something you are interested in and making friends (male and female) will help you a lot. Remember the part about male friends, too. Don't be a dick. If you lack social skills, develop them.
you don't you loser virgin lol
I regret my college days so much. My senior year I skipped pretty much all my classes and when I did go I didn't talk to a soul. I do remember many cute girls in my classes as well.
But yeah I get what you mean... There is no try or practice. I must do. I was bit hard with the feeling of regret over not doing anything with the last years of my life and a desire to become more social.
One idea I have is to just go into the downtown alone and spend a day doing what I want to do. Wherever I am (be it museums, cafe, bar, park) I'll keep my phone away and try to talk to anyone I can. There was a time 2 years ago I went alone to see Death Grips and just randomly I ended up talking to another guy about music all night long. He invited me out to plenty of other shows but that was well back when I was antisocial so I didnt. Point is I feel deep down I could meet people simply by going around the city alone. However I have no confidence I could approach a girl.
>There was a time 2 years ago I went alone to see Death Grips and just randomly I ended up talking to another guy about music all night long.
Yeah, because you where doing something you enjoyed, and you didn't have any expectations.
>Point is I feel deep down I could meet people simply by going around the city alone.
This is a dumb plan. Even going to a class to meet girls would be a dumb plan. Your focus should be in having fun, with the side benefit of meeting people. You goal is NOT to meet people. That wll only lead to frustration.
Remember how it went at the concert. Just have fun.
I spent most of my year in residence locked in my room being depressed
I had friends and I remember not opening the door when they knocked because I couldn't deal with talking to people at the time
my point is, I regret that too, but dwelling on the past does not help the present or the future.
Also, don't be the dude that desperately talks to strangers at all points. Most people will be polite but all they really want is to get away from you because you seem crazy. (because there are lots of crazy people out there)
Do you know anyone you can hang out with who has other friends? Family even? Use these opportunities to meet other people. And when you meet other people, try to leverage them to meet more people. Lots of people suck and you don't want to be friends with them, so you need to keep looking
Just say “oi, cunt”
She probably hasn't heard this one
you'll get points for being original
you will be remembered after that
>Your focus should be in having fun, with the side benefit of meeting people. You goal is NOT to meet people. That wll only lead to frustration.
Well the only bad thing about that notion is that at this moment I would find it incredibly fun as a goal or actively to go up to people to talk to. Even just making small talk with the girl at my gym for 1 minute felt amazing afterwards. I want to put myself into a place where I can do more of that. It doesn't have to be friends - just being able to talk to people in any setting would probably build my confidence.
And also I'm very tired of being alone. I want to pull desperate measures even if this means going to a bar alone with the sole purpose of finding someone to hang out with.
>I want to pull desperate measures even if this means going to a bar alone with the sole purpose of finding someone to hang out with.
The problem is that it won't work, and you'll grow frustrated over time. There's no shortcut here. Either you take your time to develop relationships (friendships, romanctic ones, etc.) or you don't.
No "extreme measure" will make is faster.
People can sense desperation
You're setting yourself up to fail.
You really need to decide on a social activity or event that you enjoy and start attending
Hmmmm well what other options would you recommend? I mean most of my friends (for example DnD sessions) are mostly shut-ins that don't have really any friends and haven't had girlfriends before. Most of then either don't want to drink or don't have a job so they can't afford to drink. Hanging out with them it's mostly just hanging out at the local pizzeria or their basement. Never a place where I'm meeting new people.
I can't think of a class that I would take at 26 while I'm full time at my job, and I haven't had a female friend since college.
I can see why it would seem desperate to go to the bar alone but this feels like a catch 33 to me. If I supposedly so out looking for people to talk to thats desperation but if I don't try to find people I'll be doing rhe same routine for the next 5 years.
Sorry if I'm missing the point.
>I can see why it would seem desperate to go to the bar alone but this feels like a catch 33 to me. If I supposedly so out looking for people to talk to thats desperation but if I don't try to find people I'll be doing rhe same routine for the next 5 years.
Glad to see you add this last sentence, though:
>Sorry if I'm missing the point.
You are missing the point. You say you have two choices: Either hang out with friends at a home OR going alone to a bar. But you also dismiss the idea of taking a class.
I mean, pick an acting class, join a board game meet-up at your local game shop, join a film debate club, join a gym class (not the machines, an actual class with a teacher and a group), etc. There are a lot of things to do. Pick one you like.
The part about deperation comes from lines like this:
> Even just making small talk with the girl at my gym for 1 minute felt amazing afterwards.
combined with this:
>ust being able to talk to people in any setting would probably build my confidence.
You want a high of confidence, you want practice, you want a lot of things that are not about HAVING FUN with other people. You won't build relationships unless you have fun.
Hmm. I play D&D with girls. They do exist.
1. Make fiends with someone at your work
2. Meet their friends and continue the cycle.
Keep contact and make effort with the ones you like. It doesn't always work out user, so don't be discouraged if they don't want to be your friend.
If you only focus on meeting women and excluding guy friends you'll limit your friend pool and your chances of meeting a women that actually likes you.
Alternatively you need to just look for social events that you want to attend. Drag one of your shut in friends or a family member to it.
Classes are a good idea. Short workshops like art, music, etc. You will meet people, talk to them. Men and women and you can start building your circle of friends that way.
You need to have multiple sources of social interaction. There is no 1 golden ticket to friends.
And again I agree with this guy, If you aren't having fun, then you won't do well making friends.
One thing is clear Jim
you will never make friends or meet women if you stay inside wallowing while posting on Jow Forums.
If you don't try you can never win.
Go outside and try, if you fail, try again and keep changing your approach and tactics.
Yeah that's probably the best thing. My gut still is strongly telling me to go to one of my favorite bars and relax, try to talk to people and see what happens. What's the worst that can happen?
I'll try to go by what people said and just have fun and not be desperate.
>What's the worst that can happen?
The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work one too many times and you take it personally. If you really understand that the possibiility of making frineds like that is REALLY small, then go ahead.
If you expect to make a friend on your first try, then abandon the plan now because you can't handle the reality of it.
If you get super lonely try going to churches, find one with lots of young people (there's usually more girls then guys)
Just pretend to be interested in the faith you'll get to join all kinds of activities.
>Just pretend to be interested in the faith you'll get to join all kinds of activities.
Don't do that OP
I can keep that all in mind. I mean it can be like the gym. The first time I don't expect to lose weight but over time I hope to see small improvements.
By trying to find friends by talking to girls that are at my classical concerts or talking to other people alone at the bar, hopefully over time I develop habits where I can talk to people without fear.
Hah I didn't really get an answer from anyone on how to approach girls at bars, so I might just have to learn the hard way via trial, error, and frustration.
>I didn't really get an answer from anyone on how to approach girls at bars,
Because you made it clear you'd be going alone. That's a lost cause. I thought we made that part clear, but it sound like you don't want to hear that.
And your gym analogy makes me worry for you. I can see you getting frustrated by this plan very soon. The gym tires you out and gives you endrfins or whatever. You go, do your shit, you feel like you accomplished something because you actually did. Creeping people at a bar during a friday night won't feel as good.
Not OP, but in a similar situation
Joined a club based on my hobby(automotive), no women
Started going to gym, only older women or ones who come with BF
Have tons of friends, mostly guys. Asked almost all my good girl friends if they know someone who is single and looking for a BF
Will start volunteering, but for the first meet, no one looking at me.
My university? Automotive engineering, no women
FUCKS SAKE. Too afraid to approach women randomly and I have no shit to say
Tinder has been shit, mostly girls who do not respond or have one word replies.
I'm lost....
>Creeping people at a bar during a friday night won't feel as good.
Hmmm that makes sense. Again all of this is just talk. I've never just randomly gone to a bar alone so I'm talking out of my ass. I've just seen other people at a bar alone (guys not girls though) so I assumed that these type of people would be down for talking.
I just feel worried that my life is passing me by and I have to do something sudden and quick to fix everything. I'm sort of going crazy here. I've changed my diet, gone to the gym, jog everyday, tried no-fap, and I bought myself roundtrip plane tickets for a solo trip to Japan at the end of the month. I'm trying hard to give myself a new life.
Do none of your male friends have famle friends, or they just don't invite you out with them?
>Asked almost all my good girl friends if they know someone who is single and looking for a BF
>but for the first meet, no one looking at me.
At this point you just sound desperate. That puts people off. You expect results way too early. Read what we have been telling OP.
But short verison is: Developing a relationship is slow, don't expect to make frineds (much less pick someone up) too fast outside of a speed dating meetup or something especifically designeed for that, and do whit because you enjoy it, not to meet people.
>I have to do something sudden and quick to fix everything.
There are no shortcuts here. Change is slow.
> I've changed my diet, gone to the gym, jog everyday, tried no-fap, and I bought myself roundtrip plane tickets for a solo trip to Japan at the end of the month. I'm trying hard to give myself a new life.
You've done everything BUT try what we are telling you to try. Everything you do is by yuorself, you won't meet people that way. I don't know how else to say it, I think the idea is pretty simple.
I only ask really good friends about finding me some GF, and I'm really picky about who is a good friend of mine as self-defense, that is why there aren't many of them
I also try to meet a lot of people and since one of my best friends is popular, I get too meet a lot of people, but I don't seem to stick around most of them, I see myself as a passing guy
Im not op but it sounds like people are telling him to stop trying to meet people. Explain yourselves.
So, do you meet people doing something you enjoy? Do you have fun with other people?
And you might just be closing yourself off to potential relationships out of "self-defense" as you say, that's another possibility.
>Im not op but it sounds like people are telling him to stop trying to meet people. Explain yourselves.
We are not telling him that. Where did you get that idea from?
>I want a gf
>Then stop trying to get a gf and just do things for fun
This is where. If you want a screw fastened, you don't do it by NOT turning the screwdriver.
Remember he doesn't want to use dating apps AND he has almost no friends (and the few he has are all dudes).
He needs to develop a social circle first if he wants to meet girls and eventually move into dating.
Is it more clear now?
Using your analogy, he wants a screw fastened but he doesn't have a screw or wood. So reaching for the screwdriver right now is useless.
I meet new people, but never girls I can attract or be attracted to. I have fun with other people, just set me up and I can talk to someone.
I'm not closing myself to relationships, I'm closing myself to talking about relationships with friends, only really good friends(so I don't seem this desperate)
>but never girls I can attract or be attracted to.
Do you meet girls or not? Because if you do meet them but you decide they are not worth it, then you are closing yourself off.
I have an uncanny ability to meet socially awkward guys and become good friends, but none of these guys are going to help me get a girlfriend.
I don't even need to move towards dating, I would just like to have female friends in my friend group as a starting point. I have the utmost confidence if I knew how to make female friends I could get a girlfriend in no time because I'm crazy enough to try to ask them out (being old enough to not care what they think).
Why does he need to develop a wider social circle? That will just turn into an irritating chore to maintain to no purpose of his current friends are good friends. Just tell him where to go to hit on receptive women with similar interests. You're telling him to build a forge in his back yard to make a nail when the screw is right there to be turned.
Agan with the "fast", the "crazy", the "extreme measures". There is no easy fix. Stop thinking it will be fast and easy if you get this or that down. You need realistic expectations.
>Just tell him where to go to hit on receptive women with similar interests.
Ok, smart guy. Where should he go? If it's so easy, fix this yourself.
Well seeing how I like Classical shows and Art Museums I feel that I should talk to any young person there alone. If in 3 sentences they don't want to talk I keep moving on.
I don't know why this would seem desperate.
If I had the answer to that question I wouldn't be on Jow Forums at all except to shitpost. There has to be a place we can go for that. Normalfags have clubs, bars, etc for that exact purpose, there has to be something for us.
I don't expect it to be quick. I tell myself that it will take 30 weeks. But a journey of a million miles has to start with one step. And I feel that first step had to be talking to a cute girl somewhere anywhere.
>I don't know why this would seem desperate.
If you go from person to person it will look bad. If you go to a place to do this it will show in your attitude. Desperation shows.And you'd be doing this only to girls, of course, which will look even worse.
And it also doesn't fix the second part of the problem. What happens when it doesn't work? What happens when you spent a couple hours and got nothing, literally nothing, out of it? As I said, exercise is always a step forward. This won't be. This will likely be a waste of time, you'll go home having achieved nothing. Can you handle all that failure?
>I don't expect it to be quick.
Yet you said;
>I have the utmost confidence if I knew how to make female friends I could get a girlfriend in no time
So yeah, you expect fast results after getting that "milestone" of a female friend.
>I tell myself that it will take 30 weeks.
The fact that you think you can pull a number out of your ass reinforces my worry about you. You are deluding yourself. You need to face facts and stop lying to yourself.
>There has to be a place we can go for that.
No, there doesn't have to be. Why do you even believe there "has to be" one?
The closest thing is dating apps, but he doesn't want that.
Because the invisible hand would make it so. All untapped markets get tapped eventually.
>All untapped markets get tapped eventually.
Life is not a transaction. If your idea is "Where can antisocial geeks that never leave home meet each other?" then you have to realize your proposition is flawed from the word go.
>If you go from person to person it will look bad. If you go to a place to do this it will show in your attitude. Desperation shows.
Worse case I do it in a different state all together. I live within 3 hours of mutiple huge cities. They'll never see me again. I can practice new techniques and new things until I get it right. I'll go in knowing I'll fail the first 15 times.
>The fact that you think you can pull a number out of your ass reinforces my worry about you.
It's just a goal. I have a goal to lose 30 pounds by xmas. It gives me something to work towards. 30 pounds off and a gf by Xmas. Sounds like a great 2019 if I work at it.
No it isn't, that's a massive untapped market. If you can successfully give them a place they'll actually go after work then you've got a captive market with literally no competition. The closest I've got locally is a small local chain of pinball arcades, but they're full of tattooed hipsters rather than introverted nerds.
>The closest I've got locally is a small local chain of pinball arcades, but they're full of tattooed hipsters rather than introverted nerds.
Because if the go out then they are not introverted nerds anymore! If they left their houses, then they wouldn't be an "untapped market"!
Nerds play pinball, boardgames, roleplaying games, do historic recreations, go to anime cons, etc. But those are the social nerds. There are social outlets for nerds.
But the people you want to help don't do well in social outlets, and that's the issue. There can't be a social outlet for them because the fact it's social is the problem. THey need to learn to deal with it and then they are not your target demographic anymore.
>Sounds like a great 2019 if I work at it.
Do you really know you can lose that weight by that date? How did you build your exersice routine?
>It's just a goal.
Working out is quite exact thing. Its basically aplied biology. Same input generate same output. Its predictable and therefore seting realistic goals makes sense there, because succes is based on your will to do it. Geting GF is exact opposite. Having goal in something based on luck is dumb.
My thought is to just try to lose one pound or more a week for until I'm no longer overweight. I've cut my calorie intake each day by like 1000 and been excerising so it should be possible.
Calories in < Calories out + 4 miles a day is foolproof. Move to a paleo or even keto diet for even more drastic results.
That's quitter talk. Where there's a will there's a dollar to be made.
>so it should be possible.
So, basically, you are pulling the number out of your ass. You don't know what kind of result this diet and exercise regime will have. It could even be dangerous or hurt you.
It seems that's your modus operandi. Deciding you know about stuff without actual knowledge about it. That's arrogance. I support your efforts to get in shape, just do it responsibly. Don't think you can make shit up and it suddenly works because "it should be possible".
Same goes for dating.
>Where there's a will there's a dollar to be made.
And they are making it off their actual clients. You could say no one is making shit-flavored ice-cream, do you think it's a good bussiness proposition?
If there was a market for it it would be.
Well, some people enjoy shit. There's just not enough. Same with the number of antisocial nerds that would be willing to go out, maybe?
You are like OP right now, sure that things have to work but with no real fact to sustain your claim. Instrad of waiting for a magic place to hang out, check out the ones that alreaduy exist. We nerds do meet up plenty.
Aren't you being just a little cautious towards all this though? I mean I'm not doing anything bad via health. The 1000 calories cut were from soda, candy, and potato chips. I'm doing some jogging and some light weights at the gym.
Same goes for dating. I understand there's rejection and girls being creeped out but outside of that if I'm just drinking at a bar seeing if other people are alone, nothing can go wrong. I could go up to a group and say "hey my friend never showed up can I hang with you guys. You guys look like you're having a lot of fun".
>The 1000 calories cut were from soda, candy, and potato chips.
That seems like a great idea. But be careful with jogging if you are overweight and not used to it. You might hurt your knees. Uphil walking might be better alternative. Have you consider walking to work? You spend more time outside, lose more weight and you need to get there anyway.
But that does not change the fact, that seting goals for having GF is dumb. Goals help with things where being sterssed might have some possitive inpact. In talking to girls, it have negative impact. You need not to be stressed out, and have as little urge to do something as possible. Goal in that lowers your chance because will have more urge to achieve something where you need to look like you have less needs then you really have.
I actually can only jog for 4 minutes before getting tired. I spend the rest of the time just walking. I went from walking as little as possible to 5 miles a day.
>But that does not change the fact, that seting goals for having GF is dumb
Again it feels like catch 22. Girlfriends don't just fall on your lap out of nowhere. You have to go out and find them. Talk to people. Ask girls out. Plan dates. Etc. If I don't do those things or have a goal then at best I'll have a few more male friends by the end of the year and that's it.
>I actually can only jog for 4 minutes
Just walk. Walk faster and faster. But jog only after you are really used to walking a lot.
>You have to go out and find them.
Not discouraging you from that at all. Just seting goal and date is dumb. Of cours you should talkt to them whenever possible and reasonable, and of course you should try put yourself in situations when you can or have to talk to them. Just saing that seting a date/goal will just make you stress about it more, and therefore lowering your chances. You really, really need to keep your cool and thats hard when you set yourself a date and its closer and closer.
>the only way go get a gf is to not want one and not try to get one
This
Is
Not
Advice
I meet girls, but I instantly think that I have no chance
You are puting shit that I have never said into my mouth. I have never fucking said you should not try. Where did you get that? I just said seting a goal is fucking dumb. And it is. You need not to stress about it that much. Try but be less sressed while you try. Your objective goal with fixed date will make you stress more. Girls are not atracted to desperate and stressed guys. Period. Whats there so fucking hard to understand? Your fucking red circle in calendar will do you no good. You need to try, but more naturaly. Just use every oportunity and create more of them. You need no goal for that.
Hey I'm already stressed enough anyways with the knowledge that I allowed 5 whole years of my life to pass me by without trying self-improvement or to learn to talk to girls. I feel like I woke up from a coma.
I have this burning desire to talk to new people. I feel trapped in my life. I just want a way out and I feel it's to meet new people.
Yes. I agree with all of that. But deadlines will help you only in things where being stressed more can bring results. Yes, you should work on that and change it if it makes you miserable. But for success in this field, you need to be less stressed about it. Deadline will make it harder. Hard aproach is good only for some things. For example working out, or finishing job that requires just hard work but not much possitive emotions. Would deadline help you compose song with relaxing and mellow mood? No, because you would need to be in that mood in order to compose it. Getting girls requires you to be as little stressed as posible, but being around them, and enjoying your time.
Well I'll remove any deadlines. I have. I'll talk to girls when I'm already having fun. When you put it that way if I force it, then I'll be nervous and the girl will be put off by it.
Yeah. Thats it. Create more situation in life when you meet girls. Talk to them whenever its appropriate and possible. Have fun around them. But thats it. Dont force it that much. You will be fine. And keep working out. It boost selfesteem and improve looks. Both is really helpful in what you are looking for.
Do you like George Gershwin?
I haven't listened to much 20th century classical but I will see Gerswin's concerto in concert next month.
It's easy.
>See group of qt's
>walk by and say something funny or casual
>make them laugh and walk away
Now you established a connection with 1-3 girls already. You have shown that you are NOT there to chase girls, because you just walked away. You're just there to have fun. This is the type of guy that girls look for at bars.
Now that you have already broken the ice with 1-3 girls you can come up to one of them / all of them shortly after and strike up a conversation 10x easier.
Here's a good video about how to pick up girls without trying. youtube.com
I'm only good with really abstract and stupid humor. Sort of like Eric Andre or MDE. I mean that sounds like a good idea though, maybe I can learn normal type Jokes to make.
Man, fuck YouTube. There was a video of maestro Gustavo Dudamel with the LA Orchestra conducting An American In Paris. It was perfect. But gay ass YouTube removed it...
Here’s my other favorite youtu.be
Gustavo Dudamel is coming to my city to perform Beethoven's 9th but the tickets are way too expensive. Good taste in conductors.
He’s based. I’ve never been to an actual concert like this before. What do you wear when you go? You have to dress up for these things right?
They're pretty good but depends on thr orchestra you see. At first I thought it would be super serious so I wore a suit and tie. Now I sometimes get lazy and wear jeans and a hoodie. Probably the best things I've seen live would be Bach's Brandenberg 1, Beethoven's Grosse Fuge, and Mozart's Magic Flute. I'm all about Bach Beethoven and Mozart. I still want to see and yet to see Wagner live.
If you're younger than 30 or are a student you can normally get like 75% off tickets. Keep in mind that it's going to be virtually all old people in the audience. I've had one with snoring or coughing old people next to me.
>jeans and hoodie
Really? I thought there was strict dress attire
When I went to the Metropolitan Opera, sure a lot of people were really dressed up but there were a couple of people in just normal casual clothes. And That's the most prestigious American Opera house.
So I would be ok in jeans and a button up shirt?
I live near DC and the National Symphony Orchestra has some good shit coming up. I should go
start having female friends, that's the fucking key, they will usually introduce you to other girls, and since you are their friend it makes it actually really smooth to get to know them
the only thing you have to understand though is that you have to form a core group of female friends that stay friends. don't fucking chode out and start trying to get with them because they are giving you attention
only if they feel confident that you are 100% on their side just to be their friend, then they will introduce you to other girls as the cool guy. else you will just be the friendzoned guy that they don't show around
Hah I live near dc too, I could take you the Gershwin Concerto since I have an extra ticket
>start having female friends, that's the fucking key, they will usually introduce you to other girls
this is bullshit. i've had female friends since middle school and none of them have EVER done that.
i'm not the friendzone guy either, since i don't make moves on my friends.
I feel like you are really afraid of rejection, and unfortunately the only way to stop being afraid of it is to go through a LOT of it
here's a simple challenge: for the next 2 weeks strike up a conversations with 3 complete strangers every day. see how that changes you
only if you have a back and forth of at least 5 phrases does it count, so you can't just be like "hey what's the time", but you have to put in the effort of actually keeping the conversation going
the thing that really helped me become more natural at meeting girls is that I have simply started talking to random strangers in general, be it at work, at the store, on the streets, etc. once it is "normal" for you to do that then the other people will feel it and they will be cool with it
seriously, try it
get some better female friends then. I've started hanging out with this new girl friend since new years eve and she's already introduced me to 5 of her friends
When is it?
I was reading this thread and it was complete bullshit until I realized people were trying to give advice to and OP that doesn't want to use dating apps.
Sorry it doesn't work some other way, you date online or you don't date
May 31st Thursday at Stathmore. My Snapchat is nospr if you're interested. And jeans with button up are normal
my friend group is tight knit af so everyone already knows each other and i don't know if i want new friends desu
>How do I meet and approach girls at bars?
Get half drunk first. The rest will come to you after that.
I really want to try this one out. Just normally I don't go anywhere but work. I guess I could find people at work to talk to though. Or force myself out of the house into places where I can make convo with strangers
Start shopping. Don't buy cause that shit is expensive. Start at target, cause those girls have their shit together. Then go to TJ Maxx. For whatever reason, women love that place too. Also Ross and Bells outlet. When all those places fail, go to Home Depot or Lowes, head to the garden center. There are always women looking to pretty up their yard. Without fail, a day out shopping and I can get 3-4 numbers easy. Just be funny, vulnerable, helpful, and open.
Other helpful hint: Get off Jow Forums and join the real world.
Extroverted social activity like this isn't something everyone can do. You need to have an inclination or have been exposed to it for large periods of time. This sad sack has likely been his own company for most of his life and the little details that fill the spaces between "go do this" mantras simply aren't there.
Imagine suddenly giving someone without hands fingers to manipulate then expecting them to be able to write. Even holding the pencil is going to be beyond their skill, and it will take years and years to achieve the basic competency everyone else has. What's worse, those motor skills develop best in the young and still maturing, but this guy's a complete adult. He will never excel. It's not a matter of effort. He can train his penmanship for the rest of his life and still have unintelligible chicken-scratch for handwriting.
>What's worse, those motor skills develop best in the young and still maturing, but this guy's a complete adult. He will never excel. It's not a matter of effort.
There's a lot of things I started late in life that now I'm better at everyone else. There's nothing magical about talking to people. I'll just learn to say hi and talk and not be shy and get out of my bubble. It's not rocket science, it's just literally be not being fearful of going up to cute girls.