Is it bad that I can see myself
>going to the gym routinely
>having good hobbies
>going to school
>getting a good job
and yet having no friends? If I moved to a hip place and went back to being a fuckup, I'd never be alone. But I need to stay here for now, while I fix things.
Pic unrelated.
It's bad that I can't understand your question
Probably.
The reality is being a better person is as likely to make you lose friends as it is make you gain them. Perhaps more likely.
Are you saying you do those things and don't have any friends? Or are you a loser fantasizing about these things and wondering an inane question? Either way this is a terrible waste of a thread
>having good hobbies
What are those hobbies?
Also, you might just be awful as a friend so peopel don't want to hang out with you. It's a pssibility man.
>Is it bad that I see myself
Here OP is envisioning a future for himself that may be troubling, and so he is consulting Jow Forums.
>going to the gym routinely
>having good hobbies
>going to school
>getting a good job
This is a greentext list of things OP imagines himself doing. Greentext is commonly used on Jow Forums.gov to express a long list of items or events without creating an overly long paragraph or "wall of text".
>and yet having no friends?
This is the troubling part of OP's vision of the future. He sees himself doing the things listed in the greentext, activities and accomplishments people would generally regard as good, and yet still having no friends.
>If I moved to a hip place and went back to being a fuckup, I'd never be alone.
Urban Dictionary definition for the word "hip":
Cooler than cool, the pinnacle of what is "it". Beyond all trends and conventional coolness. Not to be mistaken for "deck".
Urban Dictionary definition for the term "fuck up (noun)":
A failure, someone who really messes up
.
OP imagines that, if he moved back to one of these "hip" places, and started "fucking up" again, he would find himself in company once again.
>But I need to stay here for now, while I fix things.
This part is vague, but it can be assumed that OP needs to geographically remain where he is while he applies various improvements and remedies to his life situation.
>Pic unrelated.
The imagine posted is not related to the posts textual content.
Fucking Christ.
well, it is kind of a blessing to feel that way, isnt it? Especially in your situation, where it has to be that way.
Dont you think you can combine both? Having (good) friends and flourish in Job and hobbies?
Maybe you are just trying to convince yourself that you feel that way to make it acceptable.
I am pretty alone right now, few hours away from close friends ... really unhappy and I am really thinking about breaking it all up and returning... man lonliness is suffering..
Sure! But one of the first statements in the Old Testament "...man is not meant to be alone..." So there's the problem.
It's a blessing to feel what way exactly? Modest accomplishment, and that there is more yet to come?
Well, I'm out of touch with my feelings. Sometimes I bring a thing up from the past with my mother and she'll cry. I know it was a mistake, though I don't feel anything as a result of her crying. The numbness is extremely pervasive and I spend almost every day of the week alone, focusing on appointment dates and other bureaucratic processes.
To feel that you can achieve good things and being alone or not having friends around
That's true. thanks.
What I don't understand is how people never want to be around someone who's "improving", they only want to be around them when they're done; complete opposite for technology. They'll buy every new update that isn't complete and is still improving, yet are willing to shell out thousands of dollars to stay hip, yet avoid spending $20 to visit someone in need
>tl;dr: fuck humanity
>What I don't understand is how people never want to be around someone who's "improving"
How many lives have you lived to be qualified to say that? After people, if people are "improving", they had something that didn't work before, right? People might still be avoiding that part of you.
Too many, should reincarnation be real
I stopped associating with my old friends, because they were doing immoral and illegal things. Now, I'm trying to get my life together and cleanse myself of those ways.
Most people don't want to be around someone who will judge them and make them discontent with themselves. It's threatening for them. On another note, nobody is perfect, and so telling others how they "ought to" live can come off as hypocritical.
Hatred might seem like a low-effort way out, but it really a source of pain. Everyone starts out as child who needs to be guided, and some stay that way until they die. Everyone is desperately in need of a mentor who can understand the world better than them. People with upwards mobility usually outgrow their own friends and mentors, while still remaining less competent in many areas.
When it comes to people not accepting mentorship, how can the be expected to when a.) they have largely been born into and chosen a life of ignorance, and b.) the person offering mentorship can't even meet them half way in terms of finances?
Everything you wrote has truth; we seem to be along a similar path. It's hard to share time with people, knowing they're on edge, waiting to attack your opinions instead of simply disagree. Even a mentor doesnt want to be questioned, thus defeating the point of trying to find someone with more understanding. People with knowledge seem to be built without the skills to share it properly, weather is be physical, social, or emotional issues that get in the way.
>Even a mentor doesn't want to be questioned
A mentor is a flawed person just like you and me. Knowing that you think their stubbornness is wrong, without resentment or taking it personally, is enough.
>thus defeating the point of trying to find someone with more understanding
Understanding is about listening. If they absolutely refuse to talk on something you want to talk about, then it's time to look elsewhere.
But this doesn't defeat the purpose of a mentor. The fact someone would be called a potential mentor shows that they have life experience and something to teach.
>People with knowledge seem to be built without the skills to share it properly
People are born and then start accumulating knowledge. They have to form skills, and work with limited tools, to properly communicate. Look at the field of Communications. As for being born a certain way, pop culture focuses too much on deterministic ideas like, "I was born an introvert," or, "I was never especially intelligent." People skills and intelligence, for example, are things that are formed through life experience.
bump
Op can't make it and he says everything is going good.
it's over.
what?
OP I can empathize with you.
I moved cross country for school and a job while my best friends, whom I still think of as brothers, stayed home.
In my years here, I've traveled internationally by myself. I have a good job, hobbies, I support myself. I've gotten laid a LOT.
And yet, I don't 'belong' here. I never will. I'm making all sorts of gains in my life but I always feel like an alien. An outsider living in a foreign land, to exaggerate.
Meanwhile my friends are the exact fucking same as they were when I left, in a very very 'hip' city. Smoking weed, playing video games, eating takeout, fapping to girls on Jow Forums instead of actually landing dates. Getting fat and lazy and contempt with the Nerd Life.
If I went back now, I'd never be alone. But I've changed, and I'll never be truly 'one of them' again. Just like I'll never be truly one of anybody where I'm at now.
I know it doesn't help because i've only talked about myself in this post, but i know where you're coming from and you are not alone. This is just one path in life, I have no idea where it'll take me.
do you chill w friends there, or do you mostly keep to your own business?
I could see myself entering a dubious romantic relationship just to combat the loneliness, which I believe is better than nothing so long as I have self control during.
>feel like I'll never be truly one of anybody where I am now
that sounds rough. remember to keep trying.
I've got work friends which don't really count.
Maybe you'll have better luck, but I would say DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT seek out relationship to fill the void a normal support system / social circle would. It's literally setting yourself up to be emotionally dependent on your SO from early on. If you're a dude dating a millennial girl, this is a guaranteed way to fail.
It's happened to me multiple times where relationships crashed and burned miserably. My most successful and longest relationship was when I had a strong social network readily available to me.
But maybe that's just me.
Thanks for speaking the truth, man.