I might be pregnant
I really dont think I would be able to go through with an abortion
But I'm only 20. And my boyfriend is now 18 turning 19 soon. Everytime I think about it, I think I would be fine raising it. But suddenly I realized that would make him a father and hes so young and not ready for it. I really dont want him paying for child support cause he doesnt deserve that. Plus we're already in a LDR
Please give me your thoughts
Maybe ask him what he wants before you rush to any decisions.
Strongly consider abortion
Option 2:
you could go for an open adoption.
Pros: you get to see the kid grow up in a healthy functioning family without risking fucking up your life, or your bfs life or the kids life
cons. your vagina will hate you
We've spoken about it and he suggested an abortion. I told him I couldnt and he said he'd support me whatever happened.
It's just that I'm in texas going to school and deploying next year and hes in new york deploying next year too. I cant imagine putting a stop to either of our plans and adding another person.
I definitely will not go through with an abortion. Everytime I think about it or people that have had it I think of ghost vagina.
>inb4 it's not a baby it's a cluster of cells
It still gets to me and I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
I would be fine raising it myself with my moms help probably.
Ok, then i still urge you to consider an open adoption
thin about what is best for you, your bf, your family and the kid
honestly, just because you can raise the kid on your own doesn't mean you should.
I mean an OPEN adoption, you know the identity of the family and get to see the kid periodically.
My gf did this when she was 18. She still sees the kid, the kid is doing well and is so happy and the family is happy. The father never shows up and due to lack of interaction is no longer allowed to see the kid because he is clearly a deadbeat.
Personally, I think a woman's body is her business and you get final say in what happens with your pregnancy. That's not the prevailing opinion in Texas, obviously you have reservations about abortion. What other choices do you have? Can't be pregnant at boot camp. If you want to carry to term and give it up for adoption, you're still going to be holding up your plans.
It's your decision, what do you really want to do?
You're right you cant be pregnant when you deploy (not boot camp). So I would simply not deploy. But the baby would have been born by then.
I'm 100% sure my mother would care for the child if I do end up deploying which I'm sure wouldn't happen because maternity leave. Also again I couldnt live knowing theres a little person I made that I cant raise.
If he wasn't ready for pancakes then he shouldn't have poured the bisquick.
You can choose not to file for child support, it's not mandatory, but women often opt for it.
I think you're right in not wanting an abortion. Your child doesn't deserve to be killed for the situation, and to think he or she would rather not be born is antinatalism and wrong. It's taking away the most important choice a person could ever have.
I strongly commend you for not just going the child murder route and the only advice I could give would be hindsight. Wear protection, etc.
i had visions, i was in them i was looking into the mirror to see a little bit clearer rottenness and evil in me fingertips have memories mine can't forget the curves of your body and when i feel a bit naughty i run it up the flagpole and see who salutes (but no one ever does) i'm not sick but i'm not well and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding the cretins cloning and feeding and i don't even own a tv put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me you told them all i was crazy they cut off my legs now i'm an amputee, god damn you i'm not sick but i'm not well and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell i'm not sick but i'm not well and it's a sin to live so well i wanna publish zines and rage against machines i wanna pierce my tongue it doesn't hurt, it feels fine the trivial sublime i'd like to turn off time and kill my mind you kill my mind paranoia paranoia everybody's coming to get me just say you never met me i'm going underground with the moles hear the voices in my head i swear to god it sounds like they're snoring but if you're bored then you're boring the agony and the irony, they're killing me i'm not sick but i'm not well and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell i'm not sick but i'm not well and it's a sin to live so well
So... You're 20, he's 19, you think he's young YOU'RE YOUNG. Children of single mothers do terribly the data is in and it's VERY clear. Yes there is some overlap because parents can be terrible and single parents can be amazing, but you're wishing for a miracle.
I would suggest you get an abortion or take faith with your partner and try your god damn best to make things work out. These things are way more important than a simple text message board. Talk it out with him move in the right direction and don't assume anything.
I would talk do your man about it. He may want a child. Once again my mind its your body, but if you don't thing you could no Thought a abortion then i wouldn't do it.
Would you buy a large house with your current boyfriend?
Are you happy with your life right now and don't want to do anything else?
If you answered yes to both of these questions, then have the kid. Because it will be a bigger commitment than getting a massive home loan and your life is not going to progress any further with a child. Where you are now is probably where you are staying.
worksafe board asshole
You sound like an insufferable 14-y/o trying very hard to be edgy
Adoption
Get an abortion. Not just for the sake of your husband, but for your CHILD. You are only 19, let me guess, you're broke? You going to be busting you ass at a min. wage job just to feed it?
There will be times your child is starving because you can't afford to feed it. You will give it lack of attention because you are too tired from work.
Oh, even worse if you don't have a job and your parents need to help out.
Even worse if your bf doesn't want the child (hint, he doesn't).
People shouldn't have children if they aren't financially capable.
That child is going to turn into trouble because of you.
Having a child is not the end of your or his life. Having a child can really give you a wake up call on the decisions that you have made in life.
> will having a child make your life harder?
yes
> Is it one of the best experiences of you life?
yes
>Would I recommend an abortion?
I can't answer that, and that it the problem. getting an abortion is something that only you can answer.
Either way, best of luck user
Would your parents help you raise the baby? In that case, go for it.
Have a talk with your bf, don't think for him.
>child murder route
kek
Go have an abortion. The longer you wait, the higher risk of complications. I had one at 7.5 weeks, the abortion itself isn't that bad. Don't do a chemical/pill abortion, they say it's one of the worst pains you'll experience. Have them physically suck the little parasite out, that's what I did and there was little to no pain
>thinks a fetus/embryo is a child
Did you even graduate high school ffs? With that logic, you should be crying foul every time a guy jerks off and kills thousands of "children"
>But I'm only 20.
As an old bag, I know kids your age don't THINK they're retarded, but trust me, you are fucking stupid. Get that fucking abortion, ASAP. EVERY OTHER OPTION will result in ruining your life. PERIOD.
If you do go for abortion DON'T look at the ultrasound. And get it done well before 8 weeks.
If I was able to take care of a kid at 17, so can you. Tell him to join the military (or you) take responsibility for your actions.
We both are. I said we were. Which is what I'm counting on. I'd switch to active like my boyfriend if I really am too. Then both have free healthcare, a place to live by ourselves, a stable job, childcare.
I'm 20 but close enough. Lol not broke. Not struggling for money either.
>you'll go broke
No I wont.
If you're not financially stable (or where you'd want to be career wise) and not in a stable relationship with someone that would want to be a good father to them I would discourage you from raising the kid of your own. Adoption/abortion is my recommendation.
prospect.org
7riskssinglemothers.blogspot.ca
brookings.edu
I was born under this sort of situation and am thoroughly damaged, I often wish I was just aborted. I am below average in a lot of areas and I can say for certain that the conditions I was raised under (not being in a stable family) played a decently contributing role. I personally think bringing someone into the world despite the costs and conditions is the wrong approach. I don't think a life is worth living unless it is a good one. I think they should only be born unless you are confident they will have a decent life and can be happy well into adulthood. Otherwise you (potentially) create a tremendous amount of suffering that THEY will have to pay the price for, not you.
i know this is going to turn into a pro life/pro abortion debate but
im sorry i just dont value the life of a fetus/embryo. if you do thats cool, but if it were me I would not keep it. I'm not proud of it but I have had an abortion once in my life.
you might want to consider that htis is your first pregnancy so maybe it will be special and you might want to keep it because of that
human life is valubable but not to the extent that every goddamn fetus needs to be saved. what if the kid grows up hating its life, is abused, becomes a criminal etc etc. i suppose you could say the opposite would happen as well...but again...I just don't personally believe it is valuable enough to ruin your life.
That's fucking retarded. Sperm by itself isn't a fertilized egg. A fertilized egg is on it's way to becoming a full functioning individual and human being.
You're killing a developing person.
Well it's all up to you OP, I wanted to get an abortion too but then I thought I couldn't kill my first child. I was extremely depressed and suicidal, but after he was born I slowly bonded with him and suddenly my outlook to life was different. It's pretty cliché but maybe that's motherhood. This was about a year ago and now I'm glad I kept my baby, I hope you find the right choice, just remember that hard times come and go. Best of luck
>what if the kid grows up hating its life, is abused, becomes a criminal etc etc
Fucking antinatalists. Don't act as though you're doing the right thing for your child by taking away his or her one chance to experience and enjoy life.
Meant for
You clearly want this child, so that's decided. You'll make it work, and I suspect you'll be a good mom.
You don't have to make him pay child support. You don't even have to put his name on the birth certificate. But I think you should let him decide his role and contribute how much he wants (money wise, time wise he should either be all in or out, kids need stability). Make it clear there's no pressure, but welcome him if he wants to be there.
Also might? You get a test yet? Don't make grey hairs before you even know there's a problem.
Consider open adoption because of what this fella mentioned OP. The military doesnt pay enough to help support a kid and you should wait to have a kid in your family when you're ready to be present through their childhood rather than absent in military for the formative years. I am sure your mom would do fine while you're away, but what about the kiddo?.
Be a good mommy :) I hope luck comes your way.