Did being around females fuck me up?

Hello everyone. Here's the deal, I'm a feminine guy, I don't like to argue, I'm very passive, I'm very quiet. I'm skinny, I'm tall, I'm awkward... I have no male role models in my life. My father is a workaholic, and he goes to work from 8 am to 10pm, he's a hard worker. I was raised around females my entire life. I live with my mother, my father, and my three sisters. Yes. Four females in the house and one male...

My sisters are messy, they leave a mess everywhere. They're out going... They have friends they can talk to, they're more masculine in every sense than me...

I'm very conscience of my gender... Every night when I sleep, I sleep with two blankets because I don't like my crotch to be exposed, and I never sit with my legs apart. My entire life, I've been raised as a women. I was never allowed to leave the house other than for school, I was never allowed to make friends outside of school. I was never around other boys. My father was always at work...

One time I kept a diary (Yup...) and I wrote about my crush in school (3rd grade) and my older sister had read it. She told my mother and she told me that I wasn't there to like girls, I was there to learn. She threatened to pull me out of school, and she always brings it back up to taunt me...

I feel sexually repressed. I've never been allowed to do anything boyish... Did living with females fuck me up?

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Nice b8

Yeah. You need to grow some testosterone and tell them to fuck off before you go elliot rodger.

Your testosterone is probably super low desu. Look into activities and diet to boost it.

>Did living with females fuck me up?
If youre not trolling then yes. You need some male friends, buddy.

Definitely XXY syndrome

you're not fucked up, you may just need to hang around some dudes a bit or work out tho

I’d say you fucked yourself up by listening to stupid things like “you’re there to ONLY learn about school work”

So what if they pulled you from school who the hell is such a baby that they let threats dictate their life.

Not OP but similar,

What if I don’t want male friends? What if I don’t want friends at all?

Then leave it as it is. If you don't want to have male friends or any friends whatsoever it's up to you.

No I mean should I change it? I really don’t enjoy my life. I’m always thinking that I’m doing it all wrong and that everything about my natural instinct is unideal and wrong and should be changed.

Sounds like it wasnt living with females that fucked you up, but living with fucked up people that fucked you up. Like come on, not allowed to leave the house to hang out with anyone or have friends? That sets off some alarm bells.

If you think it's wrong then you should change it. Find some male friends on the internet first, I dunno. Then try to find some IRL.

Idk, I keep avoiding the thought that it’s “wrong”. Right now if you ask me, I will say “some people just are poorly made, and there’s nothing they should do about it. If you have friends because you naturally follow your instinct to socialize, then we should also just follow our instinct whatever it is and wherever it will take us.”

Also I can’t make friends with men. I was never close with my dad so I don’t understand masculinity nor do I appreciate it. I just ignore it and I find comfort in loneliness.

Also I’m bisexual. It’s either I don’t care about them or I’m attracted to them. Same with women.

Are you sure you want to be lonely for your whole life?
Makes more sense now.

Sounds like your mother is a fucked up bitch, has nothing to do with growing up around chicks.

Yes, my current 25 year old is sure. Being lonely is fine, I won't have to always hold my fart or listen to death metal in private or always feeling concerned about not being good enough for anyone other than professionally.

Then keep things unchanged. You seem to be more comfortable alone

But is 'comfortable' right?

What do you mean? Like, if you feel comfortable then it's right, if you don't, then it's not. As simple as that.

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To add on, I feel so uncomfortable being male... I do my laundry and everything separate, but that doesn't matter. My sisters all throw in their clothing together and wash them including the towels. Every time I need to grab a towel for a shower, it's almost always next to a pair of panties... It makes me want to throw up. Same thing with socks and more. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to find two non matching socks.

It's so off putting to see my kind mother being tortured by my messy sisters... Everywhere they go, they leave a trail of destruction. They're teenagers... I don't know what to do anymore. It's not like I can ask my siblings to be more feminine, can I?

I'm always the odd one out because of my gender... I can't do anything without my family labeling me.

I was in third grade... What did you expect me to do? Move out?