I'm 18 and I want to commit suicide

I'm 18 and I want to commit suicide.
It's pointless writing out all my problems because the bottom line is I'm depressed, lonely and have spent the past week drinking and having a break down.

Life has never felt more meaningless than in this moment. I have no future. I'm a drop out and I can't even make it into the military as a way out of poverty.

I want to die, I know that's what I truly want, but I'm so fucking terrified. Everything in my inner being is trying to prevent me from following through.

Help me come to peace adv, tell me what to do, I'm lost without guidance.

Attached: 1525450232598.jpg (852x1024, 65K)

I really really really like this picture,
I really really really hope you don't kill yourself though :)

Tell me your problems

I'm 22 and I want to live forever. Sorry OP, no advice. You should try not being a little bitch though.

Well, you need to follow your dreams, is the only thing that matters in this bitch of earth

Almost every single teenager has wanted to kill themselves at one point and almost every single teenager doesn't.

This honestly is the best motivation for me to actually commit suicide.

It isn't. It was meant to show you the futility of actually giving in to the urge because nearly everyone you've ever met has dealt with this struggle and overcome it, and you will too.
You aren't unique. I know you'll get better. I know you'll go on to become a person worth getting to know.

I'll tell you about my experiences in life. If you want to read about it.

When I was a junior in HS my parents divorced and I moved to another state my senior year. I didn't have any friends and it sucked. I went through school, and I remember not having any idea about what I wanted in life other than a girlfriend, because we're all lonely. Well I remember when the teacher went around and asked each student what their plans were, I was the only one who said "I don't know". Everyone laughed at me, even the teacher but I wasn't really joking. lol I graduated and just kinda was stuck in limbo. I thought I wanted to join the military, but I couldn't even run a mile or swim. I tried to join the navy but I failed out of it. I couldnt make it, I knew I couldn't before I even tried. I just wanted something new so badly, and I thought that was the way out. So I got sent back home where I was so depressed again. It sucks waking up day after day with nobody texting you or having a purpose in life

cont.

I've been there from 14-16. You've got what other suiciders don't, full youth and a lot of fucking time. That's why you'll overcome it

But I just decided to enroll in a local college near me. I didn't know what for exactly, but just to do something. Just to get out the house and hopefully meet new people.

Well I joined and started going, it felt better to have something to do everyday like that but I was still pretty lonely. I went through college thinking I wanted to be a high school teacher.

Then I met this amazing wonderful girl. We instantly connected, and I felt like the world was absolutely beautiful. She made me so happy you wouldn't believe it. We bonded over everything, movies, anime, games, future. She wanted to be a stay at home mom really bad, and all I've ever wanted to be was a father.

We hung out almost everyday. She was always there to support me and make me realize how special I was, and how smart I could be. I started excelling in school, I decided to do biology instead because I knew my worth now. When I was absolutely crushing every class with an A, she convinced me to go even beyond and just try to become a doctor. So I did. I really started taking that seriously and my life with her. I met her parents, the only boy to ever do so. They all loved me so much, and for the first time I really felt like I had a family. My phone always had texts on it and she was always there to hold my hand, get lunch, and kiss me.

I understand that with a population of 7 billion people, I am far from unique, and far from the only person to ever be in this situation. That's just how probability works.

Doesn't make me feel any other way. I want to be apart of the small percentage that actually go through with it. I see it as an obligation to finally do something I've never been able to do; prove somebody that they're wrong about me.

Depression is made worse by more time on there internet. Limit your time on-line.
You are lost because you don't know who you are, Reek. You must figure that out - create your internal world and personal mythos. Grow your inner self asshole. Be a wolf of Wallstreet, a Jedi, a Wizard from Hogwarts, a comfortable Hobbit, an adventurous plumber who battles mushrooms and turtles. One of the animals at the Animal Farm. The difference between the cunts in DAESH and you, jot that they found a purpose and direction. A stupid, backwards hateful and stupid one, but still - a direction and identity.

I was happy and I had no depression again. Its funny how one person can come into your life and change your entire outlook on yourself and the world. I really feel like I have a goal in life, to become a doctor. And having her there really made me feel like what I was working towards was all worth it. We'd always talk about future children and things.

Then she broke up with me out of nowhere, after 4 years. She just wasn't happy anymore and she didn't want to be with me after a year of pretending she wanted to be. And my whole world came crashing down. Back to square one. I'm still in school, still trying this but everything feels very empty. I'm a better person because I just let life take control and show me where I should be and with who.

I don't think people like us will ever really be happy on our own. But theres no point in ending life so early when you can experience all the good that exists. I know I might not ever find love and happiness in the same way, but I don't regret it. It was the most amazing time of my life and well worth the 20 years to get there. Don't give up on yourself or life. I know times can be rough, but there are good things in store.

You're young and everything feels so dreadful right now, and it might for awhile. But I PROMISE you will find happiness in something after enough time. Just be open and let life find you. But def to try and go out and don't be online much. Try to make friends, I know its hard, I don't have any. Just try to shoot for what makes you happiest.

Not helpful you asshole


Look user its not worth it you havent experienced everything life has to offer im 18 myself and live in a fucking trailer park ..... depression is a bitch try to go out more bro meet new friends and hey if your even the slightest good looking fuck some old ladies that are willing to pay

Man I'm sorry you live in a trailer park. Don't know if it means much but I do feel for you and i do care.

Its hard to read when someone obviously has it worse than me. I wish you the best man.

Lol no one is going to read your blog, nice job hijacking OPs thread though

Just wanted to share some thoughts, friend.

i read it ):

Thanks for reading it, I hope it might help

Me too

So... at least I'll care if you are dead even if it's for 20 minutes

same

>I see it as an obligation to finally do something I've never been able to do; prove somebody that they're wrong about me.
Killing yourself isn't doing something, it's preventing yourself from ever doing something.

I tried to kill myself once. I put a loaded gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. The gun misfired. I'm incredibly lucky to be alive and I'm glad it didn't go off. You may not get the second chance that I got. Hang in there. things get better if you truly want them to, but it takes effort and a lot of self reflection

>Everything in my inner being is trying to prevent me from following through
Listen to your inner being.
Eventually this bad time will pass.
When you're going through hell, keep on going.

I just wanna say we're all gonna make it lads. As 18 year olds. We can make it.