How

>Don't bitch him out
what do when he deserves it?

Give him the silent treatment

Unconditional love.

Discuss it like an adult
Nothing is more effective than keeping your cool and sticking to the point

When my girlfriend gets emotional she's already lost because she'll just talk into a circle and then I have to point it out and it usually results in a few minutes of grumpy silence

and that accomplishes what exactly?

takes two to do that

look im just a drunk single virgin but this, we could project our personal experiences and give generic advice but just pay attention to him personally and try to do good moment by moment.

this OP. my SO and i are constantly discussing our self improvement and our relationship and what we want from each other without being selfish or getting in the way of our own independent goals.

This is terrible advice.

THIS!

As I'm well aware
On the other hand I don't need to ask Jow Forums for matters concerning my partner, I'm not functionally retarded

Why the fuck you would ask anybody but your partner is beyond me. I guess if you like fucking yourself over and blaming externally

when your partner decides to go full retard like this idiot, "just ask him" doesn't work

step 1: don't date retards.

>decides to go full retard
do you have a crystal ball you can sell me?

if you aren't a retard yourself, red flags are easy to spot miles away.

no shit sherlock. what aren't you understanding about
>decides to go full retard
? if there'd been red flags i would've bailed.

It does
If his answer to a question is silence, that's answer enough
If you're not adult enough to handle conflict and confrontation, do yourself a favour and just fap to camwhores. If a relationship cannot contain communication, it's not a relationship, it's an arrangement.

Nothing damns a relationship more than needing a third party to function.

you are outing yourself as one of the retards

As an addendum to this, silence being unanimously bad is also some serious retard while we're at it. Some quiet to gather your thoughts free of interruption can help you realize where you went wrong, or perhaps what you meant to say/get across-- or at least come to better wording for your point.

What makes a relationship succeed isn't measuring good versus bad but by appreciating the good and ensuring the bad. Pro-tip, everyone has a bad day where they go off the end. Holding people in contempt for that is as childish as it is to be that contemptible on a regular basis.

This is why I say: communicate.
If there """is no""" communication (silent treatment, dodging questions, making excuses) then that seems answer enough that one person clearly does not value the other's input enough to offer output. That is the communication. Perhaps it's just recent and you say "well think it over because I do feel like I deserve an answer. I don't want to rush you but I want you to understand my involvement."

Or they pull that shit all the time so you can say "If you like silence so much, perhaps another person isn't the best thing to include in your life."

Or maybe it's highly uncharacteristic for them so you say, "It's not like I haven't noticed you change, I care for you and that means I notice when you're upset, whether or not you mention it."

So when I say 'talk to them'
What I really mean is there's virtually no limit to the way this can go. It could be a thousand scenarios to start with, and each of those has no definitive endpoint.

If you want closure on matters of the heart, speak to the heart-- and PLEASE GET THE FUCK OFF Jow Forums BECAUSE NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME FROM HERE.
WHY?
WHY WOULD ANYTHING GOOD HAPPEN TO A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF Jow Forums

(you)

Ask him. Truly. You will be surprised how little it takes.

Confront him like a men do among themselves. Define the problem as narrowly as possible and drive to a solution.
The second he thinks you're not trying to fix something specific, or you're just venting, or this is just a battle of the wills, or a purely personal attack it's over.
Uncoincidentally this is half of why working with women in an office really sucks

that's been attempted multiple times to no avail.
>The second he thinks you're not trying to fix something specific,
very specific. we both know what the problem is, he fucked up something big and doesn't want to have to deal with it so he's just avoiding it and me altogether. if he were the only one affected by it i'd regard it as his business and let him handle it or help him if he wanted my help or whatever but it greatly affects both of us and has put me in a pretty shit position.
>or you're just venting,
not even close. i'm not the sort to complain for its own sake. if i bring personal shit up it's because i've not been able to work out a solution myself. if i bring relationship shit up it's with an eye toward conflict resolution. i pick my battles, i'm eager to compromise, and i don't go apeshit in the face of valid criticism or being told i'm wrong. hell, if anything i'm /too/ tolerant and understanding.
>or this is just a battle of the wills,
well. he gave the impression he was struggling and i just needed to be patient. which i was, for a very long time. at some point he decided he was the victim and doing the right thing by making me suffer. finding that out has made me unfathomably angry. i don't know what he was or is expecting of me but regardless i don't much care to oblige him anymore. lasting anger is very new territory for me. him acting like a fucking woman is also very new territory. don't really know what to do with either of them. i've always followed his lead and he's never once steered me wrong before this. battle of the wills seems to be what he's doing. my disinclination to engage didn't seem to be an effective deterrent, he just used it against me and carried on.
>or a purely personal attack
i would very very much like to personally attack him right now, yes

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Then stay with your bitch of a boy, holy fuck
If you women worked on solutions half as hard as you work on blog posts you'd get somewhere

nigger i'm out of ideas.
>man is being retard
>silent treatment
let's go then, what's the solution

Post on Jow Forums and get mad at people who have nothing to do with your relationship
Fuck you, the thread is full of answers, you're just a larping shitposter who wants to stir the pot

Break up with him, force an answer out, if you can lose your temper at us you can lose it at him
Now fuck off back to your Facebook. You have the temperament of a single mom with a black baby.

Give him surprise blowjobs sometimes

not always, but like maybe once each 2 months you just sit him down and suck him off unprompted

don't be a stereotype (e.g. bitchy emotional dumb women who won't say what is wrong and plays manipulative emotional games.) just be direct.

Pic related. BJs are like flowers for men. Give him head (extra to normal sex) as often as you want flowers.

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sadly,

The people most likely to ask for advice are also those who have no intention of fixing their problems

if somebody could tell me how to fix it i could quit asking

LITerally what?

We did, you're just a woman and, as such, too stupid to understand these big words we're using like "communication" and "adult."

Seriously there is alot of good advice in this thread.

But you have to actually fucking follow through.

this shit ain't magic

the faggot refuses to communicate and refuses to adult. what do when a man starts larping as a woman? because i am definitely too stupid to understand what the fuck to do to fix this shit.

follow through with what? how? how do you communicate with a brick wall who's throwing a fit like a fucking babby?

Dump him, drop an ultimatum, lose your temper, cry, confess the duress and pain this causes you. Slap him. Do literally anything. Legitimately twerk at him, just drop down like a slav and start whapping them whalebuns.

Literally anything except what you are currently doing. You've flat out ignored any post that is actual advice and only follow up with shitposting.

Wow, you trolled Jow Forums. Next time in Life of user: stealing candy from a baby (you'll never believe who wins!).

then leave

it feels like a hard choice, but it seems like you have already made it.... now follow through with your choice

you know you will regret not acting

Don't ever cheat on him

dumping him is out. commitment, and more importantly my word, actually means something to me. any ultimatum would be empty as fuck and probably backfire. i don't do this battle of the wills shit, and i thought he didn't either. i've done all the other shit. nothing. how is it possible you know all this shit about how women work but not men?

see above. keeping my word and doing as i said i'd do is not a hard choice.

If you've decided there is no problem

then shut the fuck up

kys

Depends on the guy. Just like every girl, every guy has unique interests, preferences, fetishes, and viewpoints that could turn almost any girl into his perfect girl. In high school I was a hardcore edgelord and nothing made me feel more in love than when my gf at the time would laugh at my shitty Columbine jokes or make one herself. I moved past that shit since and don't really care about comedy anymore but it's that kind of thing. If he feels like you accept the parts of him that HE loves but most people seem to hate, he'll love you more than anything. Also, the dude saying "do anal" is meming, but being open-minded about fetishes is a SUPER good way to keep any partner around long as possible since they're tough to talk about and most women (in my experience) are kinda closed-minded about the non-normie ones.

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>Dramatic cunt doesn't want a solution

you're the worst kind of girlfriend

Gotta flirt with other men to keep him interested. Otherwise he will stop chasing you.

Typical kind of girlfriend. Wants the guy to nut up and do everything, won't lift a damn finger herself.
Is your name Alliyah? Because boy, you sure don't like fucking solving a single goddam problem.
But I think every guy knows someone like you. Rather bitch than buck up.

you're not offering solutions that i haven't already tried, you're just getting buttmad and trying to insult me

kys to you too. "stop giving me the silent treatment after you fucked up" is not "do everything" and i'm more than willing to lift a finger. i've tried for months to fix this shit myself, i've offered to help him fix it, it's not unreasonable to want him to grow the fuck back up and stop acting like this.

I can't really decipher what the fuck you're looking for, assuming it's your boyfriend doing something ambiguously wrong that you're trying to fix, and not the OP question.

From what I can decipher in , you're mad about an issue you think has a fix, and he's not ready or willing to fix it. This shit goes both ways. My ex used to whine at me about my stomach grumbling, begging that we needed to start testing my diet and what made the noise. That was not a "couple" thing. That was my thing. I also didn't really like my job. Sometimes I needed to come home and vent. Neither of these things were for her to fix.

If you guys can't eat because he's struggling with wanting to work in Hollywood but he only knows how to fix washing machines, you have a valid argument, and he needs to fix it.

But "make your man real happy?"

>STAY IN SHAPE
>STAY IN SHAPE MORE
>don't ask him to change for you
>appreciate his interests at least a bit
>figure out if he wants food/alcohol, sex, or freedom, and accommodate

That's just how to be "the best for him," but don't neglect your own needs either. A woman with no spine is a bummer.

>STAY IN SHAPE
>STAY IN SHAPE MORE

I want this printed on a gym shirt.

>you're not offering solutions that i haven't already tried, you're just getting buttmad and trying to insult me

you're wasting dozens of random peoples time

all you want is attention and/or validation

fuck you
low tier shit, bringing down the quality of Jow Forums single handedly. That is a real feat you know?

>cunty attention whore likes 002

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Right, so like I said, you want him to do all the work.
I gotta say, 8/8 b8 m8, I replied and it wasn't even l8.

We're hitting shitposting levels that shouldn't even be possible.

you are legitimately retarded but it's amusing at least

Says the lady who can't overcome a simple problem and has managed to shit the bed so hard on this one that it's been a months-long issue.

I guess I'd be pretty desperate for someone to be on my level, too, if I were that far down.

you seem more desperate than i am. this is the amusing part.

Takes two to reply. I gotta kill queue times somehow.
Hey, though. Why don't you talk to your boyfriend about it?

Oh, wait.

hey,

we're not the same person

I gav eup on you already

It depends on the type of man.
Let's use a reference tied to BDSM:

> Always Dominant Male with Always Submissive Female as preference:
Cook for him, ask him what he wants for breakfast and lunch and make that for him too.
Ask him what kinks he has and do those things for him.
Ask him what he wants you to wear and wear it.
Throw out a compliment whenever the opportunity presents itself and at random times.
Remind him of things you two did that you both enjoyed.

> Always Dominant Male with a Switch Female preference (me)
Talk about kinks and act upon them, but keep in mind that it's hotter for the sub to come up with ideas actively and act uppity to show the sub has a bit of a spine.
Cook for him, but also involve him, like when making his favourite, bring him into the kitchen and have him help you with tiny tasks.
Do your own thing independently and encourage him to do his, but keep reminding him of your love and admiration.
Surprise him with something suggestive when you know that he must be having a boring day at work.

> Submissive Male
Now this is difficult, as I'm not one myself, but I'd imagine he'd be more than happy to talk about things in the bedroom and be more closely involved in your things rather than you are in his.

>tl;dr:
Communicate and be active in the bedroom and find common ground.
Be happy about common ground and provide moment of happiness no matter how small.
Reminisce about happy moments and encourage to make them occur more often.

ikr. you could've just stopped replying at any time but you kept going. you're kinda like a woman too now that i think about it.

Might make it easy on you. Men don't seem terribly up to your... speed.

Anakinposter here. This is fucking good advice. This thread is starting to smell a little bit like bait to me but I appreciate your breakdown nonetheless. Made me think about where I lie on there. I'm more dominant than I thought.

men seem like a lie who think themselves infallible and don't care who they hurt because they're just that selfish. silly me for thinking i could take them at their word.

Remember.

Communication is key. Find where both parties stand, see if that is coherent with both parties' preferences and go from there.

women are also replying to you in this thread btw

If he won't engage and you've given him space for his fee fees already it's time to just quit.

I mean, you get what you give. I try to live honest and stand by my beliefs and am currently dating somebody who does the same.

If your guy is clamming up, maybe you're the problem-- I know you're above and beyond any and all forms of reproach, but if you'll take a trip with me down memory lane, everything you've done in this thread is toss responsibility and blame onto someone else.

Perhaps your boyfriend is silent, because he knows what the reply will be: contrarian refutation based not in acquisition of the truth or meaning, but in self-affirmation and egoism rooted in 'being right.'

Look. Only one of us has a boyfriend who's not talking to us, and unfortunately I'm pretty without-boy right now. You do the math and you tell me which one of us is really losing out in the end.
Maybe I oughtta take a page from your man's book. I'd wager he knows quite well how to deal with you-- at least more so than I, if nothing else...

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m8. listen to me. i'm more than willing to take responsibility for whatever i may have done or not done to contribute to this. identifying what that is isn't gonna happen if he's refusing to tell me. he fucked up bigtime, he knows it, and instead of owning up and making it right or telling me to get lost, he's giving me the silent treatment and has convinced himself that i deserve being put through hell. i conduct my affairs the same way you say you and the person you're dating do. the same could be said of him prior to this bullshit. it's like the man i've known and been in love with for years has suddenly gotten replaced with a literal psychopath. i ran out of ways to convey "i've tried those solutions, they have not been successful" many posts ago. insisting i just don't want to listen to any of the advice given, attempting to insult me over and over, repeatedly implying i'm out of order for thinking a grown man should be accountable for his actions, and all the while telling me i'm the one who's trolling and shitposting is going to get met with kys.
>you get what you give
if only