Normal people just explain what they want and don't want at the time or immediately afterwards and then it is sorted out. Dirty talk is a broad spectrum, but most of what OP writes is just degrading.
"Darling, I meant a little sexy talk during the act, y'know like if you are enjoying what is happening, what you see and feel. I wasn't expecting straight up degradation and put downs".
If you really want to be sneaky don't judge and cause him to become defensive try and figure out if he actually feels this way about women and sex.
My girlfriend likes dirty talk. She likes boring descriptions of what is happening using 'rude' words. "oh my hard cock is going so deep into your spread open cunt" - "oh I can feel how wet and juicy you are".
She also likes mild/moderate amounts of domination, especially with a schoolgirl vibe as she went to an all girls school, clearly jilling herself silly over male teachers throughout her teenage years.
So .. "don't talk back to me, just raise your ass like so, you must let me finish! Be quiet, I've got to come and I'm sick of your interruptions" - "spread yourself, now point to your clit, touch it, what is it? How is it spelled? Now, where does this go? Show me, that is right, well done. Can you spell penis?". She loves weird scheduling, training, teaching play as well, like I put my come in her pussy on her schedule or weekly 'anal training'. That one was fun, different size buttplugs, write reports on wearing them, graded her, fucked her asshole for a 'final exam'.
I find it tiresome to be honest because I've got to put effort in to keep in interesting and she rarely reciprocates, just assumes that sex is reward enough. One time she asked me to be rough and slap her and I got a little into it. I don't mean I beat her, but pretty light full face open slaps, getting tits all red, raising handprints. She took it like a champ though afterwards said it wasn't as good as she thought it'd be. I found it more fun to fight her than sexy.