INFJ here. How can I become an ESFJ?

INFJ here. How can I become an ESFJ?

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>In romance, people with the INTJ personality type approach things the way they do with most situations: they compose a series of calculated actions with a predicted and desirable end goal – a healthy long-term relationship. Rather than falling head over heels in a whirlwind of passion and romance, INTJs identify potential partners who meet a certain range of pre-determined criteria, break the dating process down into a series of measurable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with clinical precision.

>Sentiment, tradition, and emotion are INTJs’ Achilles Heel. Social standards like chivalry are viewed by INTJs as silly, even demeaning. The problem is, these standards have developed as a means of smoothing introductions and developing rapport, of managing expectations, the basis of personal relationships. INTJs’ propensity for frank honesty in word and action tends to violate this social contract, making dating especially difficult for them.

>If they are shot down too many times they may come to the conclusion that everyone else is simply too irrational, or simply beneath them intellectually. If cynicism takes hold, INTJs may end up falling into the trap of intentionally displaying intellectual arrogance, making solitude their choice rather than happenstance.

>This antipathy to rules and tendency to over-analyze and be judgmental, even arrogant, all adds up to a personality type that is often clueless in dating. Having a new relationship last long enough for INTJs to apply the full force of their analysis on their potential partner’s thought processes and behaviors can be challenging. Trying harder in the ways that INTJs know best can only make things worse, and it’s unfortunately common for them to simply give up the search. Ironically, this is when they’re at their best, and most likely to attract a partner.

I think the personality tests are all kind of bullshit. I don't think its healthy for someone to force themselves in a personality archetype.
I think its better to think like Aristotle did with good virtues and character.

1. MBTI is best described as "astrology for nerds." The vast majority of times you buy into any of the descriptors, it's due to a selection bias, or because of a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e., you read it, believe it, and conform your behavior to your expectations).
2. If you believe in MBTI, you should know that one of the core principles is that once your personality is formed, you can't change it. You cannot go from introvert to extrovert, and even though you can train yourself to be more tolerant of socialization, you cannot become extroverted. "Switching" from intuitive to sensor is even more outrageous, in my view, because of how absolutely central the functions are to your cognition.
3. Why the fuck would you want to be a sensor in the first place?

Is it not possible for trauma to change one's personality? You can abuse and emotionally torture any outgoing and sociable person into being more withdrawn.

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I'm of the opinion that you can't change your temperament.

Best you can do is try develop the cognitive functions of the type you want. Though function magnitude does not affect function order, which is the pertinent thing when it comes to MBTI temperament.

Hell, cogfunc theory isnt terribly confirmed either.

The more pertinent question is, why the hell would you want to trade your INFJ'ness to be an *ESFJ* of all things?? They are stereotypically one of the most annoying and unintelligent types

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According to the theory underlying MBTI, that "withdrawal" isn't a change in personality. Rather, it's the effect of the psychiatric disorder caused by the abuse. MBTI doesn't consider behavioral changes caused by abuse or mental disorder that takes place after the formation of the personality to be part of the personality.

As I said, though, MBTI is best described as astrology for nerds; it's mostly bunkum.

>Is it not possible for trauma to change one's personality?
This is like breaking someone's legs and then saying that as an animal, they are like a snail.

Sure, they can't walk, just like a snail, but it was never supposed to be that way. They were always meant to walk like a human, and the fact they've been rendered immobile is going to play havoc with a million other things regarding their body and their life.

>If you believe in MBTI, you should know that one of the core principles is that once your personality is formed, you can't change it. You cannot go from introvert to extrovert, and even though you can train yourself to be more tolerant of socialization, you cannot become extroverted. "Switching" from intuitive to sensor is even more outrageous, in my view, because of how absolutely central the functions are to your cognition.
different user here
looking at humans from an evolutional point of view, our greatest power is our adaptability. in my opinion, it's very possible to change your personality almost completely. very few people do so, though.
>The vast majority of times you buy into any of the descriptors, it's due to a selection bias, or because of a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e., you read it, believe it, and conform your behavior to your expectations)
ironically, this seems to be the best way to go for OP. don't try to become something, just be. think you are extroverted for example and then act accordingly.

also this, very much.

>The more pertinent question is, why the hell would you want to trade your INFJ'ness to be an *ESFJ* of all things?? They are stereotypically one of the most annoying and unintelligent types
This. I bet OP thinks it's the most normie type, wishes he (or more likely she) was "less introverted" (meaning more outgoing). Here's the facts: Introversion/extroversion, in the MBTI sense, isn't a matter of being reserved versus outgoing. It's a matter of how your cognitive functions and personality works.

In order to "be extroverted", you have to be the sort of people who gets energized from endlessly interacting with others, and who gets drained from things like introspection. In the MBTI theory, it's only tenuously related to the concept of being reserved versus outgoing. I am reasonably certain that within the theoretical framework there are introvert configurations that would observationally be more "outgoing" than some extrovert configurations. And certainly, a mature introvert with such a configuration would absolutely be observed as more outgoing than an immature extrovert who has one of the more introspective configurations.

>looking at humans from an evolutional point of view, our greatest power is our adaptability. in my opinion, it's very possible to change your personality almost completely. very few people do so, though.
I think this is pretty true, which is part of why I think MBTI is a bunch of bull. The underlying theories honestly preclude just waking up one morning and saying, "I'm going to be more outgoing today," and because of that you're now an extrovert.

You can't really change your type unless you go through some seriously emotionally challenging stuff, even then, a change that drastic probably won't happen.

For example, I was an INFP at the start of 2016, went through loads of emotional trauma through the following 2 years, and came out an INFJ at the beginning of 2018.

MBTI is just who you are at your core. You can always try to act like something you aren't, and nobody is going to be the same, regardless of similar typing, it's just who we are at the heart of our beings.

ESFJs are very feminine and known as the most girly type. INFJs are supposed to be either androgynous or mild tomboys. I'd rather be the former than the latter.

Why would you turn yourself into the most unbearable type of normie?

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INFP here
How do i cure my degeneracy? I started calling my boyfriend daddy.

Yeah it doesn't work anything like that. You're bitching about having a lower probability of being girly and a higher probability of being tomboyish, not about "being tomboyish instead of girly." These are very different things, and changing your MBTI personality type (which according to the theory underlying MBTI is not possible) will not necessarily result in what you're trying to accomplish. It simply doesn't work how you think it works.

The best thing you can do is, if you want to be girly and not tomboyish, is to behave differently and fucking ignore MBTI. The more you buy into the bullshit descriptions of how type X versus type Y behaves, the more you're going to unintentionally act out those bullshit descriptions. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So just adopt feminine behaviours?
If ESFJ's are feminine, it is almost certainly due to internalization of relevant cultural traditions (because that's what SJ's do - embrace tradition). This can be done consciously, just as they would do it unconsciously.

Apart from that, INFJ's are highly empathetic, so it's actually very easy to flow into feminine paradigms of modes of being, from and through that context.

Whether that difference will be externally visible or not, is another question. Which is what I think is the main issue here. OP wants to be perceived as feminine, likely due to need for societal approval or integration.

Well, bad news. Forgive the pretentiousness, but, INFJ's are, in a word, otherworldly. They live in the abstract (in whatever form that takes in the culture they find themselves in - either personological intellectualism, or mysticism).
But, they do have the ability to blend in to standard society as necessary (unlike INFP poor sods). But that's really what it usually is - just a camouflage.

All that said, does OP know enough about MBTI and themselves to be correctly identifying themselves as INFJ? Is MBTI even real?

Probably not.

>All that said, does OP know enough about MBTI and themselves to be correctly identifying themselves as INFJ?

I think so... I've taken 7 tests and all have identified me as an INFJ.

>I've taken 7 tests
Oh great, a self-tester.

Listen, if you knew a damn thing about MBTI, you'd not be asking how you "change types" because you'd know that isn't how MBTI works.

The deeper you get into this shit, the more you're going to just wind up conforming your behavior to the type you want to avoid. I've seen it so many times. My ex got me into this shit nearly a decade ago and I hung out in FB groups dedicated to this utter shit. It's literally the most cancerous crap that's out there.

mbti is bullshit, because it works with these made up “cognitive function” sets. big 5 is better, because it actually deals with personality, but its not perfect to the point of being a philosophically dull person’s pseudoscientific horoscope.

sorry to redpill you on that so hard. we all believe in silly stuff sometimes.

mbti is a load of bull. it has been thrown out by today’s real scientists (scientists who believe in the scientific method, supporting data, coherent hypothesis)

I don't even believe in MBTI but I score you high on the "being a pompous douche" personality trait, lol

low conscientiousness, low openness

idk what big 5 subscribers posit, but personality traits in everyone flux. maybe stable people with consistent lives have less flux, but everyone does go through changes.

OK

Then, as I said: your best bet is natural empathy.
Femininity has aspects, and probably the biggest one is empathy; and you've probably got oodles of it. You can channel that into traditionally feminine paradigms.

Apart from that, there is nothing wrong in dressing nicely; focusing on appearance; changing the way you walk, etc (as long as it does not feel unnatural or unsustainable by yourself). Because this is what everyone does - it's just that some do it unconsciously.

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>wanting to be S instead of N

Do you want to make 6 figures as an engineer or be some faggot arts major

I don't think people are able to change..I mean really change.

You are who you are since day 1 personality wise. It's just what you innately are. You can be more outgoing with work and effort, but at the end of the day you'll gravitate towards your origin. It's like teaching a right handed person how to be left handed.

>infp females

The S stands for stupid

Sensors are retards

>Do you want to make 6 figures as an engineer or be some faggot arts major

You just described T vs F

Why the fuck would you ever wanna do that?

INFJ is an intuitive, explosive, experimental, open-minded, giving, submissive, wild, almost-always-ready-to-fuck kinda lover.

ESFJ. If there wasn't a more doomed soul. Always chasing highs and external simulation (ES), and falls back on emotional judgment (FJ) rather than (ir)rational thinking.

Imagine not being satisfied, having experienced so much (plenty you are ashamed of), and being somewhat emotionally unstable. Too many failed relationships. Too many "what's wrong with me" nights. Never finding inner peace and love...

INFJ is ...represents... when healthy, the best in all of us....


INB4 not all ESFJs...blah blah. Yes. I agree.

Not true, E/I and S/N has a higher correlation with intelligence and success than T/F

I'm INTP according to the test, I never cared much about self testing stuff, but do you guys think this is good?

Change the letters "I" and "N" to "E" and "S" respectively.

I know. But that post, whether intentional or not, was talking about career preferences.

Why would you want to? S-types are demonstrably inferior.

but that is where science's domain is

MBTI has no scientific validity

If you want to actually understand your personality, take a Big Five test. It's the one used by actual personality psychologists and developed through actual research.