INFJ here. How can I become an ESFJ?

INFJ here. How can I become an ESFJ?

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>In romance, people with the INTJ personality type approach things the way they do with most situations: they compose a series of calculated actions with a predicted and desirable end goal – a healthy long-term relationship. Rather than falling head over heels in a whirlwind of passion and romance, INTJs identify potential partners who meet a certain range of pre-determined criteria, break the dating process down into a series of measurable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with clinical precision.

>Sentiment, tradition, and emotion are INTJs’ Achilles Heel. Social standards like chivalry are viewed by INTJs as silly, even demeaning. The problem is, these standards have developed as a means of smoothing introductions and developing rapport, of managing expectations, the basis of personal relationships. INTJs’ propensity for frank honesty in word and action tends to violate this social contract, making dating especially difficult for them.

>If they are shot down too many times they may come to the conclusion that everyone else is simply too irrational, or simply beneath them intellectually. If cynicism takes hold, INTJs may end up falling into the trap of intentionally displaying intellectual arrogance, making solitude their choice rather than happenstance.

>This antipathy to rules and tendency to over-analyze and be judgmental, even arrogant, all adds up to a personality type that is often clueless in dating. Having a new relationship last long enough for INTJs to apply the full force of their analysis on their potential partner’s thought processes and behaviors can be challenging. Trying harder in the ways that INTJs know best can only make things worse, and it’s unfortunately common for them to simply give up the search. Ironically, this is when they’re at their best, and most likely to attract a partner.

I think the personality tests are all kind of bullshit. I don't think its healthy for someone to force themselves in a personality archetype.
I think its better to think like Aristotle did with good virtues and character.

1. MBTI is best described as "astrology for nerds." The vast majority of times you buy into any of the descriptors, it's due to a selection bias, or because of a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e., you read it, believe it, and conform your behavior to your expectations).
2. If you believe in MBTI, you should know that one of the core principles is that once your personality is formed, you can't change it. You cannot go from introvert to extrovert, and even though you can train yourself to be more tolerant of socialization, you cannot become extroverted. "Switching" from intuitive to sensor is even more outrageous, in my view, because of how absolutely central the functions are to your cognition.
3. Why the fuck would you want to be a sensor in the first place?

Is it not possible for trauma to change one's personality? You can abuse and emotionally torture any outgoing and sociable person into being more withdrawn.

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I'm of the opinion that you can't change your temperament.

Best you can do is try develop the cognitive functions of the type you want. Though function magnitude does not affect function order, which is the pertinent thing when it comes to MBTI temperament.

Hell, cogfunc theory isnt terribly confirmed either.

The more pertinent question is, why the hell would you want to trade your INFJ'ness to be an *ESFJ* of all things?? They are stereotypically one of the most annoying and unintelligent types

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According to the theory underlying MBTI, that "withdrawal" isn't a change in personality. Rather, it's the effect of the psychiatric disorder caused by the abuse. MBTI doesn't consider behavioral changes caused by abuse or mental disorder that takes place after the formation of the personality to be part of the personality.

As I said, though, MBTI is best described as astrology for nerds; it's mostly bunkum.

>Is it not possible for trauma to change one's personality?
This is like breaking someone's legs and then saying that as an animal, they are like a snail.

Sure, they can't walk, just like a snail, but it was never supposed to be that way. They were always meant to walk like a human, and the fact they've been rendered immobile is going to play havoc with a million other things regarding their body and their life.

>If you believe in MBTI, you should know that one of the core principles is that once your personality is formed, you can't change it. You cannot go from introvert to extrovert, and even though you can train yourself to be more tolerant of socialization, you cannot become extroverted. "Switching" from intuitive to sensor is even more outrageous, in my view, because of how absolutely central the functions are to your cognition.
different user here
looking at humans from an evolutional point of view, our greatest power is our adaptability. in my opinion, it's very possible to change your personality almost completely. very few people do so, though.
>The vast majority of times you buy into any of the descriptors, it's due to a selection bias, or because of a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e., you read it, believe it, and conform your behavior to your expectations)
ironically, this seems to be the best way to go for OP. don't try to become something, just be. think you are extroverted for example and then act accordingly.

also this, very much.

>The more pertinent question is, why the hell would you want to trade your INFJ'ness to be an *ESFJ* of all things?? They are stereotypically one of the most annoying and unintelligent types
This. I bet OP thinks it's the most normie type, wishes he (or more likely she) was "less introverted" (meaning more outgoing). Here's the facts: Introversion/extroversion, in the MBTI sense, isn't a matter of being reserved versus outgoing. It's a matter of how your cognitive functions and personality works.

In order to "be extroverted", you have to be the sort of people who gets energized from endlessly interacting with others, and who gets drained from things like introspection. In the MBTI theory, it's only tenuously related to the concept of being reserved versus outgoing. I am reasonably certain that within the theoretical framework there are introvert configurations that would observationally be more "outgoing" than some extrovert configurations. And certainly, a mature introvert with such a configuration would absolutely be observed as more outgoing than an immature extrovert who has one of the more introspective configurations.

>looking at humans from an evolutional point of view, our greatest power is our adaptability. in my opinion, it's very possible to change your personality almost completely. very few people do so, though.
I think this is pretty true, which is part of why I think MBTI is a bunch of bull. The underlying theories honestly preclude just waking up one morning and saying, "I'm going to be more outgoing today," and because of that you're now an extrovert.