how do i live with the fact that im garbage? im an irredimable piece of shit with no value whatsoever, i dobut that there are people out there who even remember that i exist and thats a good thing because i dont want anyone knowing how disgusting and useless i am
Im ten years from middle age and what have i dne with my life? what have i accomplished? nothing, i would say i have the success of a 15 year old but that would be a lie because even 15 year olds try hard and have people who love them so we should lower that to 4 or even less, im a baby, nothing but a big fat baby nobody has ever wanted around. I even tried to kill myself and guess what? hell didnt fucking want me so they sent me back to live the rest of my miserable life while they figure out a way to avoid me.
Who is going to want to date me? who is going to want to employ me?
>just work hard now to fix it
yeah give me a shovel and let me have a go at the fucking landfil, im sure i will accomplish something by the time im 70 years old, i could volunteer myself as a shooting target but im too fat so the target would be too big and and then people would learn worse, i dobut im good enough to be pig food even i would get the pigs sick and the farmer poor, im a fucking black hole
How do i live with the fact that im garbage? im an irredimable piece of shit with no value whatsoever...
We don’t even know why we’re here. This life doesn’t matter. Whether you succeed or fail, only you care. What people remember is if you were a loving friend or family member. Nobody gives a shit about your success or lackthereof.
Now schedule an appointment with a therapist and your doctor and go get on some antidepressants because you are clinically depressed.
Well jokes on you because I don't have friends and my family didn't want me
And my therapist kicked me off
Then take responsibility, stop being an asshole, apologize to your family and find a new therapist.
>Appologize to your family
Sorry you abused and abandoned me?
Therapy is just a waste of time on me, I had what? Ten therapists? I have been in therapy since I was 8 years old and on meds since I was ten, which I stopped taking because it's just throwing money away, those meds could maybe help other people but they don't do anything for me
You’ve been in therapy since you were 8 and on meds since you were 10? Why do you continue then? Since you are obviously set that neither work.
I don’t think you’re being honest. Either way you gotta let go of the hate and anger and start getting better.
GAWD THIS IS TOO MUCH
I'm fat and none likes me wat do?
should I kill meself?
My penis is necrotizing since I stopped caring of even masturbating, not even my own hand likes me
I'm completely honest, I don't remember the name of the therapist but I remember she made me play with those popsicle sticks and glue and then I had one that scared the shit out of me and threatened me with some keys and then one who played with me with a tennis ball
I don't remember the first pill I got but it was probably lorazepam since that's what I took for the longest time
Well I have chronic pain in my left hand which is the one I use to masturbate and my dick doesn't even get hard so maybe they are trying to run away from me
Life is meaningless. Let go and accept. There is no meaning to any of this. It does not matter. Only you can consider yourself a failure.
You also sound nihilistic and spiritually sick. You need religion or some type of spiritual concept to believe in.
You are an 18 year old girl
The only thing I need is a fucking hole I can lay in while I wait to fucking die, there is no god, good doesn't make mistakes and I'm one, I fucking hate religious people too, Jesus loves me yeah right
>Life is meaningless, there is no meaning to any of this
>You need a religion
wat
Look into nihilism and beyond. Nothing matters and it's okay. Everyone is a piece of shit. They just are. The answer is to take joy in the absurdity life. That's the pinnacle of all philosophy.
I wish, at least a woman can be a piece of shit all her life and still produce life with is worth something
>Everyone is a piece of shit
Each of us are completely free to call ourselves however we like I guess...
Then why are you posting here?
You sound very young, and full of lots of promise. Nobody here can help you until you lose the arrogance and realize your best thinking lead you to this point.
Of everyone is a piece of shit then what does that make me? I see people doing all kinds of things I could only dream of like driving a car or getting a text message or ordering McDonald's without getting the food in a to go back when you didn't ask for one
Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
OP is spiritually sick materialist.
Because I'm a fucking joke, I'm nothing but a bad joke and a bad example
Come on make fun of me, it's easy
I'm sure I sound young since I never had a real interaction with another person in my adult life but I'm fucking 25 and I look ten years old at the very least, that's what a lifetime of stress does to you
Im so fat my mother threw me in the trash when I was born.
I'm telling you man, I can't even masturbate because I can't see my own penis, it's probably all dead and infected down there.
I'll just kill myself this life is no good to me
What stops you from driving a car? Its literally no different than a go kart. What stops you from getting a text message?
Nobodys making fun of you. It’s an anonymous image board. You need medication and therapy my friend, and theres nothing wrong with that.
Do you have a job? You need one. If you can’t work one you need therapy and the right medication to help you get to that point.
>What's stopping you from driving a car
I have nowhere to go, the only place I'm welcomed is this shithole I call home
>Getting a text message
I get them from the phone company from time to time, they all say the same thing but it's still nice, I once got a call from an employee, best day of my life
I would recommend exploring spirituality or a relationship with God. It can’t be any worse than you tell me it is. There are no atheists in foxholes.
I just want to be fucking dead, I tried to die but my fucking mom woke up 2 am and found my half dead corpse and called the fucking ambulance and I woke up full of fucking tubes going in and out of my body
I wish I died, I would have died if nobody found me, I would have avoided so much pain
That was 5 fucking years ago, not a day goes by that I don't regret it, they would have put me in the ground, people would have felt sorry for me it would have been a good way to go
They would have felt sorry for you for two days and forgotten about you. And you think that’s worth your life?
Do you realize if you’re dead you don’t get any satisfaction from whether or not people feel sorry for you? Isn’t that pretty antithetical? Why not start trying to live?
I'm never getting that chance again
Plus it's not only about them being sorry, 20 year old depressed guy gives up with a full life with potential ahead of him beats the shit out of dude that never left his home gets a heart attack, it takes his neighbors two months to realize he is dead
People would tell each other, hey remember user from school? I heard he killed himself, well he was always alone and never talked with anyone so I guess it was a matter of time, it's still wierd tho
I bet most of you are white men, you guys really can't take even the slightest of distress huh? This is why you lead in suicide rates, lol
Your problem is you care too much about what other people think.
What you mentioned is at most a 15 second conversation.
Also nobody age 20 cares about high school people. That’s silly.
You need a higher power to believe in.
why are you such a pussy? Do you live in a third world shithole or come from a crack house family with a meth head for a mother?
1. life doesn't owe you shit
2. you assign meaning
Well if I could go back in time I would go back ten years and ki myself on school property, that way kids would still be scaring each other telling tales about my ghost 50 years from now
Actually has more to do with weak white men being at the bottom of the modern social hierarchy and losing all of their opportunities to diversity quotas and affirmative action while the same people and immigrants get bailed out by welfare and entitlements while you do not.
I feel you bro, I'm soo fat no single girl would want to fuck me even if I became the next president of the United States.
I'm so fat it's disgusting
Try vr chat. You can be with people as autistic as you without showing your face or going anywhere. You can also be alone there. I know because I do that. It's free no vr needed.
find a higher power
Sounds like you actually go out of your way and try really hard to hate yourself
Have you tried not trying to have an opinion of yourself either way and just taking care of yourself?
Usually how the rest of us do it...
Essentially, white people are pissed that the system we set up to be fair to make everyone happy has turned hostile against us instead.
Life is what you make it :)
The reality is most white men in this country are lazy and don't take kindly to even the slightest of tribulations, they expect everything to be handed to them when that doesn't happen they fall into a deep depression and either start hating the "others" for their own failures or in OPs case, themselves.
>fair
Hmm, are you sure about that bud? More like you guys are having your privileges taken away and can't cope.
>most white people are lazy
Anecodal. All generalizations are false.
>fair
What country treats minorities better than America? You can thank the white man for that bud :-)
Most white men are lazy though? Especially the lower class ones since they can't game the system and aren't adequate enough to sail through life so they shift the blame onto us "others", for their failures.
I'll thank the people who marched/fought for those rights not "whites", in general. I love America, I just noticed that white Americans largely are lazy fucks compared to immigrant families like my own who take advantage of being here instead of wallowing in self-pity like OP.
>people immigrate to your country because you were compliant and allowed them to instead of being China or Japan and not allowing immigrants
>hate the people that live here
Trump 2020
Liberalism was a mistake.
Thanks for the thought out response! Really challenged my views on the matter.
The reality is OP needs to realize the world doesn't cater to him and that time waits for no man, get your shit together, I'd recommend enrolling at a community college and working part-time after establishing a realistic goal. Also, fix your broken family ties, blood is stronger than water.
I could give a shit what your views are. They’re fueled by racial animus and ignorance.
Okay? No need to be hostile, this is why nobody likes you guys, yeesh.
>gibsmedats
This is more applicable to you, considering immigrants from my country make way above the median household income.
>All diversity does is leads to tribalism and white people understand that now
If that was the case you guys should have stayed in your own countries as well instead of ruining the entire planet with your savage behavior, it's too late to stop globalism after your ancestors got the gears in motion. Say hello, to a multicultural America with a dismal white American populous.
>Goes on Jow Forums to get ideas on how to live with himself
>People who genuinely care for a complete stranger offer realist ideas and suggestions
>"No I don't want to do that' or "That won't work"
Either take what these people are saying and learn from it or don't post here at all.
Complaining about people not caring about whether you live or not but offering no signs of wanting to change. You're your own worst enemy, and if you continue acting like a child your life will remain like it is.
Blood is stronger than water was an expression describing the bond between men who she'd blood in battle together. That that bond was stronger than even family.
The funniest part about how wrong people get that expression is the advice is wrong too. If your family sucks, fuck em.
I didn't know that, thanks for the information friendo
No problem man. Learned 2 days ago t b h.
Here's another one from the same article. "Luck of the Irish" is a racist remark. Means if an Irishman has any wealth or success it must be luck because they aren't capable of anything intelligent or productive.
im not white, why do you always make everything about race?
>im not white
fuck you nigger
Fuck off, cunt. Don't you have some other way to fix your fragile ego?
i will not rest until there is a filthy coon hanging from every branch of every tree in this great nation, mark my words you nigger loving kike
kill a bunch of muslims and go out in a blaze of glory, you faggot.