> Have PTSD because of rape
> Really disgusted by sex, can't even masturbate
> Boyfriend doesn't think I love him
Not sure what to do. I used to be super into sex, but now it just brings back haunting memories and I'm depressed as all hell. To make things worst I am in a long distance relationship.
Has anyone ever had mental issues having sex or masturbating? Any tips on how to get back into it?
Yeah I'm going through the same thing. I was molested when I was nine and now that I fully acknowledged what happened to me I can't even fantasize about sex let alone masturbate.
Suicide
>Suicide
Before giving this advice to others, user, please try it yourself just to be sure it works. Let us know how it goes.
>user
How dare you
Everyone learns to get over trauma in their own way. Sometimes it takes a long time, other times it doesn't. You can't follow the road to recovery expecting to arrive at your destination immediately; It takes a good minute to get to where you want to be.
When I was 13, this dude I used to consider a friend tried taking advantage of me while I slept. We were camping, and our tent was a good ways away from my family's tent, so at best they would have thought we were just fucking around like boys of that age dude. He was on the wrestling team, I was just a chubby fuck that couldn't even do a push-up. I won't get too much into the details of it on the off-chance that it brings back shit memories for you.
Aside from the fact that I beat the ever-loving fuck out of the kid my sophomore year of high school, I did a lot to get over it and not let it haunt me anymore.
The first step is accepting that it happened. You can't go back and change that, it is what it is. It's made you who you are, and you're stronger now because of it. The only direction you can go now is forward. It's not what defines you, and you can certainly take comfort in the fact that you probably know what to look for now and won't end up in that situation again. You have a boyfriend now, and he's clearly something if you say that you love him. You want to be with him, and be there for him, and make him happy; The best way to do that is letting go. I get it, it's hard, but you can't let it shackle you forever. If you can't let go of your past, it'll keep you from the present. The past is the past for a reason, and the future is uncertain. The only thing it can take from you is the present moment, and it's up to you to decide when you want to reclaim it.
You don't have to get back into it. You can always find a bf who's asexual.
You will miss out on it though and you will never have kids. You can reintroduce yourself to sex, but it might be futile and you will only distress yourself.
If your bf knows about it and still uses the "I don't think you love me card" he's a dickhead, deserves to die and you need to get rid of him asap.
If you had the guy arrested, maybe talk to an attorney to sue for treatment costs.
I'm in the same position rn. Like exactly the same position, except I'm the guy. I've gotten her through it and she's willing to masturbate by herself now but she's still iffy on sending pics. If your bf isn't trying to help you get over it, then you need to get over him.
One of my close female friends killed herself after being raped, the only thing you can do is seek counseling that would help tackle the issues that prevent you from having sex or having positive thoughts about sex.
I have to reply due to your image. HGttG is just too good.
Anyways, I am naturally disgusted by sex. No trauma needed. Just in built. Part of the package.
I only get horny if I'm being held. For a long time. Just being held without agenda.
Then, after a while, I tolerate it.
I don't know if that can translate to your experience. I don't pretend it does. But that's how it is for me.
What? Where did she say he did that, you fucking dumb cunt? Also, that nigga is a fucking cuck, like nigga get a bitch you can actually fuck.
having sex with him is him protecting you and stopping anyone from being able to do it to you, no one else can touch you when youre with him
Therapy
This is not going to be an easy answer but you need to stop letting the man that violated you continue to violate you or you will never be happy. It's going to take counseling and you being able to being a loving environment but also it's going to take you working through the uncomfortableness of having sex and finding the joy and love and life in it again so you can live your life with all the joy and happiness it deserves and metaphorically put a bullet in that motherfukers brain and let him know how strong you are.
Get cognitive behavioural therapy
Not exactly analogous, but when I was dateraped by my first and only friend in college (I was a 23 y/o khv and he has 32), I was initially confused (I considered myself a heterosexual male at the time) but because he obviously had experience, he knew how to keep things going. He'd buy me stuff and do things for me, which would give me the satisfaction of getting something back, and that made me willing to start/continue a semi-sexual relationship where we'd masturbate next to each other and I'd let him feel me up a bit. Although I wasn't attracted to him, somehow taking sexuality out of the aether and commodifying it made it an easier thing to grasp, and I had no problems getting hard and cumming in front of him. I had to break off contact when he got more demanding and rewarded me less, but in theory it could have lasted quite a while.
So what I'm saying is that you need to tell yourself that even misfortunes are something you can profit off of. While I don't suggest running your bf broke or even making it a financial thing, if you can find a kind of sexual proxy for him to give you, it might make you more receptive.
yeah...uh...you aren't even remotely in the same position she is....in fact you're the exact opposite...."still iffy on sending pics"...knowing what you do, why would you even ask that of her?...jesus...
OP here, sorry for the late reply.
It doesn't help that my partner too has also been raped. He goes on swings of being hyper sexual to not wanting to touch me with a ten foot pole.
Right now I'm in therapy and on a load of meds. I feel more relaxednow, but yeah everytime I look at porn I just feel really disgusted. I used to be into all kinds of shit but now I'm like dang I just want loving sex or to feel loved. The sex we do have like I said is really just to finish him off.
I got mad at him for just chokingme out and giving me 'the white girl treatment'. Said I didn't like it and then he just avoids having sex with me.
I don't know, I really care about this guy and we've been dating for three years. Trauma is coming back to bite me in the ass because I ignored it for most of the year.
But thanks guys the information has been helpful and I'm glad I'm not alone in this.
I went through that kind of thing and I just don't feel turned on by other people naked, like normal people. I've had people confessing to me that they are into me but I just don't feel the same way, I get very anxious when people want to get flirty or hold hands and sometimes I think it would be great to sit against someone while watching a movie but then I see my options and I just think about how they smell sweaty and it becomes a major turn off. I haven't met anyone I felt attracted to.
You're my favorite tripfag rn, thanks for all the laughs
>The first step is accepting that it happened. You can't go back and change that, it is what it is. It's made you who you are, and you're stronger now because of it. The only direction you can go now is forward. It's not what defines you, and you can certainly take comfort in the fact that you probably know what to look for now and won't end up in that situation again. You have a boyfriend now, and he's clearly something if you say that you love him. You want to be with him, and be there for him, and make him happy; The best way to do that is letting go. I get it, it's hard, but you can't let it shackle you forever. If you can't let go of your past, it'll keep you from the present. The past is the past for a reason, and the future is uncertain. The only thing it can take from you is the present moment, and it's up to you to decide when you want to reclaim it.
Holy shit user, I love you for this. Something I have put to words over and over but you did it perfectly. From a recovered rape victim who has helped many others (voluntary work) this is insanely useful to me. Thank you, dearly.