My gf of 4 years broke up with me a week ago and every morning I wake up with chest pain and anxiety...

My gf of 4 years broke up with me a week ago and every morning I wake up with chest pain and anxiety. Staying busy doesn't help, I just feel this way around people then. I want to text her and just tell her how fucked up I feel and how I hate her for doing this but at the same time all I can remember is how beautiful she made my life and all the romantic feelings I felt for her. There was no con to me, only pros. I just want to text her and ask if she's happy because I feel like I'm dying.

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Just leave her alone dude

She's not who you thought. Move on.

Man it kills me to.

Its so fucking hard. She was perfect. She matched every single emotion of mine. She loved every single band I liked, every single movie. I had a movie-like romance with her. We drove all across the US. It was like a movie man, How can I ever hope to find someone like that? And even if I do, it won't be the same because it wasn't the first. Everything will just be a comparison.

Sorry I'm just messed up right now

If shit was so perfect, why did she dump you?

Because she was 17 when we started dating and now she's 21, she's at an age where all her friends are single and out having fun at clubs and things and she decided that she wanted that.

She fears she will regret her life if she doesn't.

Then you don't need her if she's going to throw four years out the window for something shallow like that. Good riddance, I say.

But breakups suck. The pain is real. Heartbreak is definitely a thing physically speaking. There was a time after a breakup I went through where I habitually threw up every morning for a week or two. It really sucks.

But you gotta move on. From my experience dwelling only makes you bitter towards her and yourself, and can inspire self-loathing and sabotage attempts at remaining friends with her (if you want that) cause of all that baggage.

Distract yourself if you can. Better yet with something productive. Go hiking, work or study harder, start writing prose or poetry or start acting or learn to play an instrument.

The last thing you need is coping through something self-destructive.

Listen user, if she is dumb, immature and shallow enough to throw away a nearly perfect long term relationship just to ride a cock carousel, she is not worth your grief.

I just can't STOP the feeling. It fucking sucks. I want to go to the gym and get jacked, but I can't even begin to eat. I cant even wake up past 6 am. My eyes burn from the lack of sleep. Its like my subconscious just dwells on it regardless of what I'm doing. Even sleeping.

There was nothing wrong in our relationship really. We both knew we would marry each other and have a perfect life. I'm even on track to become a physician. But she brought out the most fiery passion I've ever had in my life. I just hate how its over, I feel so empty and I feel like nothing matters and nothing will ever be as nice in my life. I know that might not be true but I feel like it.

Sorry, OP, I know it's hard but it's time to face the facts and move on. It sounds like to me she didn't really seem invested in the relationship like you thought she was. You did enjoy the same things and had a lot of fun, and although those things are cool, in the end, what really matters is if you're invested and committed to the relationship. Not all high school relationships last because of this. Most youngsters just get into relationships to experiment and have fun. You should be with someone who's mature and thinks serious about relationships. She's still a kid, so, move on. It's best if you do. She might realize later on that she made a mistake and might want to get back with you. But don't fall for that crap. Just move on.

Fun fact, OP, she may have made the relationship perfect for you, but you likely didn't reciprocate that feeling. It obviously wasn't perfect for her, and now she's breathing a sigh of relief that she can find someone who makes her truly happy.

t. in an extremely similar situation as the girl

Honestly, OP, I've been in a similar situation. I had a girl for about 3 years who was my everything, and then suddenly she stopped trying and broke it off. Turned out it wasn't as good for her as it was for me. What you're going through right now is gonna take time to heal, and rushing it isn't gonna do shit except damage you.

It's been 2 years since that relationship ended, and I'm finally starting a new one. We've been dating for a few months, and life's never been better. You'll get through it. Just try your best to take time to grieve for what you've lost and try to find yourself again among the broken pieces. Things will get better. Just focus on you.

What I believe made the relationship potentially bad for her was something that I might could've prevented. She got depressed and had really bad anxiety. She was coping with smoking and drinking, and I was really against that and I'm pretty sure that expedited the process but yknow. I won't know.

I want to focus on myself so much but I'm such a lonely person. I LOVED having someone who was always there for me. I've always been lonely, but for the time I was with her it was wonderful. Friends don't make this feeling go away. But having that cute girl lay on my bed and watch movies with me made all my shit go away and just feel like I wasn't wasting my time . Or that I didn't waste it. Now I feel like how I did before her, but worse.

>we both knew
OP, you imagined all of this. In reality she must've enjoyed it at the time, but knew every moment of it that one day this will end. If she had won the lottery, you would've been dumped. If she had to move away, you would've been dumped. If David Beckham were in town, she wouldn't have even hesitated.

She left you for such an incredibly dumb reason that you couldn't have been anything other than a "starter husband", and you can't blame yourself for it. But be careful in the future. This person will have a couple boyfriends in her life, and when ready to have kids she will go back to whichever one of them really did become a physician, and beg for financial stability.

It kind of sucks that you two didn't have a bigger reason to break up with each other so you at least wouldn't blame yourself for it. May not feel like it right now, but you will get over it within a couple of months. Get a shrink if you feel it necessary, but instantly dump any would be psychiatrist who wants to feed you psychoactive medicine. The only thing that could make your life worse right now are pills or alcohol.

I don't do pills nor do I drink. You're probably right. She told me she's always thought of herself as someone who would end up single for life, I have no doubt that she did love me and mean what she said. And she does really love children. But I think you're right about her looking back. She even told me she knew she would have a good life with me. But at the moment, I would love her back. But if I didn't have this emotional wreck of a heart right now, I know I would never take this bitch back. Fuck her for ruining my time and giving up on me when I never even thought about that. Even when hotter girls wanted me. Never.

I'm not saying it won't hurt, man, I've been there. 100%. My ex and I played through the entire Borderlands series together, I used to love those games. It's been 2 years, and I haven't touched them once because of the memories. Life will be tough, but you WILL get through it.

This. Completely this. Talking about it helps, but time will help the most. Everyone has a different amount of time that it takes to heal. Maybe it'll take a few months, maybe you'll be more like me and it'll take two years. But given enough time, the pain fades and you can let it go. That's why you need to grieve and mourn. You'll heal faster if you just let yourself feel it out. Maybe write about it.

She dumped for a fucking stupid reason. I'd be mad. Sad, too. But more mad than sad. Try being mad at her. I mean hating her would work for you better than being sad.

Shit, switch those replies. Don't mind my retardation.

The thought of feeling this way for 2 years makes me want to die.

I have girls that I could fuck, should I do that? A part of me says no. And then my dick says yes. My heart says no thought because I don't want anything from them but sex.

You will heal with time. It is okay to feel sad about stuff like this, even if the girl was a real bitch. Just be sure that as you suffer, and even after the suffering stops, you follow my advice:

1) Do not let this hurt other aspects of your life. It is okay to fail, but it is not okay for your failure to turn into a domino effect. Finish your studies, get a good job, when you feel like it start going out with girls.
2) Project success. Easiest way to ensure you will be sad forever is by letting everyone else know your life sucks. Even if you are suffering, conceal and project success. Talk about it with only close friends or anonymously online.
3) Eventually, she'll come back to you after she is done fucking around. When this happens you must not be spiteful, but you must reject regardless of anything she could possibly say. Don't let anyone use you as their back-up because if you do, you will only attract people with those intentions from then on.

You already know that you're just using them, so don't. Had a friend who did that, she got dumped and then just went on a series of short flings. She told me that it made her feel horrible and hollow, because she had nothing that stayed, but she'd been doing it for so long that she didn't know how to cope any other way. TL;DR that's a bad move.

You won't feel like that for 2 years, you're only gonna feel like you do now for maybe a month or 2. I only say 2 years because I made a very serious choice to spend time focussing on myself BEFORE getting into another relationship, and that's how long it took.

I will attempt to continue my other aspects unaltered. I will not tell people about my internal disaster and pretend I'm okay. And I won't let her back into my life.

Is it different for girls and guys though? I don't know...I'm really trying not to though.

Maybe a month yeah. I'm really happy with myself and I think that I'm 100% committed in a relationship and I'd do anything to make it work. I don't think I could improve anything relationship-wise, other than interests maybe? I don't really know.


Also thanks everyone who posts in here. The advice has really been helpful. Its always nice to talk.

>I will attempt to continue my other aspects unaltered. I will not tell people about my internal disaster and pretend I'm okay. And I won't let her back into my life.

That's great. I just would like to correct your wording. You should not pretend to be okay. The reality is that most people cannot read minds and therefore if you do not cry publicly and whine about your problems, no one will notice or treat you differently in this time of suffering. This is, for the most part, positive and it is convenient to try to keep it this way. You never know the intentions of strangers so letting everyone know you are in a weak spot could only hurt you. Just act normally because really no one needs to know about your internal issues.

OP, you might not like this, but I have no doubt that since you guys broke up, she has had at least 3 cocks in her. Sorry, but you need to hear this. She's not the person you think she is. She's just a common hoe.

I hate you fucking niggers. You better get those nudes or I'm going to get you. Mark my words.

It gets better OP. Time is the best cure.

Try to not dwell on the reasons behind the break up. They are never good enough. You could have a book, written by her hand, on why it ended, and it would not be good enough.

Just give it time. You'll be ok.