A couple months ago a long time friend of mine blocked my number for unknown reasons. He didn’t tell anyone why he blocked my number and I was left in the dark with it. Recently he told someone that it was because of my rampant use of the word faggot and his recent coming out as transgender. Everyone in my friend group including him prior to coming out as a transgender person uses the word faggot excessively. My rational is that I wish he had just told me he didn’t like me using that word that both he used in the past and that he admitted to our mutual friend that it only just recently started making him feel Insecure. I was angry that he blocked my number and just cut me off instead of speaking to me. I’ve known him my entire life.
It’s hard for me to suck up my pride because of these circumstances. Should I text my friend in order to talk and rekindle, or wait for him to contact me?
>wanting to stay friendly with a mentally unstable tranny
Is this bait? Of course you ignore him and his childish, passive-agressive drama..
Justin Davis
Genuine question, if your best friend who you’ve known for your entire life told you they were transgender, would you still be their friend? This is the situation I’m in. I agree with the aspect of him being childish but not the other shit lmao
Oliver Turner
If you love him and give a shit about him and value his friendship then sure, stick with him. I'd stick with my best friend if he came out, absolutely. I've known him since we were little kids. Even if I disagree with his decision I'm not such a shitty person that I'd throw away 15 years of him being there for me and saving my ass just because I feel some sort of way about trans people. That's retarded. Now, I don't know your relationship with him but he's probably going through some shit. I don't know if he's a generally impulsive or insecure person but everyone has their moments, ya know? If I were in your shoes I'd get it back to him that I didn't mean to make him feel like shit and that if he's ever ready to hit me back up that I'm there for him and ready to listen if he has anything to tell me. The ball is in his court. If you're interested in rekindling then send him a line and see if he gets back to you. If not then you have your answer.
Austin Smith
I’ve known this guy for around 13 years.
I was bitter as fuck for this being the reason that he blocked me, and I just wanted to know if I was being a stubborn idiot in not contacting him.
The mutual friend who he told the reason for blocking me also told him that he wants to be friends and that he wants me to contact him.
I just felt that it was shitty of him to do this to me and basically,
am I in the wrong for wanting him to contact me, And should I just be the bigger person and reach out to him
I personally don’t agree with the mentality of being transgender but this isn’t about that, and i don’t care cause he’s my friend.
Austin Richardson
To clarify I was upset he blocked me out of the blue, not that he’s trans. Him being trans was just the catalyst for him blocking me.
Nathan Bell
I know it may sound stupid, but he was taking care of himself/protecting himself/being insecure about all this trans stuff. You used to use the word faggot, right? He wants you to prove that you'll not make him feel bad about his identity or whatever since you have potential to make him feel bad about something he's already insecure about.
Bentley Cook
I understand how you feel about it and you're not wrong to be upset but if saving a friendship with him is the priority then "winning" this argument by not being the one who contacts the other first isn't important. Yeah, it may have made you feel shitty but like I said if this whole thing is about caring about him and wanting to squash this thing then being the bigger person isn't in the equation at the moment. Rekindling the connection comes first then reconciling your hurt feelings comes later. That is, of course, under the assumption that you're as genuine as you say you are.
Samuel James
What a bad environment for any LGBT person to be a part of. He's probably a lot healthier, day to day, for cutting out several people from that group that used to make him feel like shit.
Why the fuck would you use the "faggot" word if you care about faggot people? It's dehumanizing if the person using the word doesn't know what it is to be a faggot him or herself. It is literally (not figuratively) only appropriate if the speaker/typer knows what it is to exist as a faggot. I'm not being satirical or any shit, but I sure hope OP wasn't this fucking blind to the way other people incorporate words into their identity. If you don't actually exist as a faggot and know what it is to be a human who can be called the obscene dirty word, don't use the obscene dirty word. If you were that blind, take the long time friend's blocking as something to grow from.
t. male to female not faggot
Andrew Nguyen
Communication is key to situations like this. you both should try to talk about it with clear goals in mind. However, sometimes you gotta be willing to accept everything that comes up from this. from the sound of it y'all don't communicate your problems. it causes stupid shit to cause bigger problems than it should. Also I get the bitterness, but you won't sacrifice your pride by talking it out.
Ayden Cruz
mtf or ftm
Juan Taylor
Were a group of guys that use the word faggot interchangeably with literally any word. No we do not understand the plight of an lgbt person but never would any of us have called him a faggot because of his identity. It’s the same way people use gay to describe something unfavorable. I’m not saying it’s right, but I just want to articulate how it’s not out of spite that we say it.
The thing is, he too used to say faggot just as much as we did (trans friend). Only after he came out as trans did it become an issue for him to hear the word.
Joshua Sanchez
>muh word police
Do you get upset we call people newfags as well? Fucking grow a spine. There's more important things in this world.
Matthew Mitchell
If he became overly-sensitive and childish, honestly no. It might be taking a loss on my part, but I'd benefit more from not having to censor myself in the long run.
Ryan Gomez
It’s not the best that I’d have to censor myself, but maybe it’s a lesson learned? That I shouldn’t be speaking like this anyway?
Hudson Wood
Saying faggot is extremely normal. The only things you shouldn't be saying in public (or at all) as an act of common sense would be memes. You said yourself that your friends spoke like that prior, so why should it be such a sudden change? Consider that this person is so sensitive that you didn't even get a reason for why you were blocked, your friend of so many years. Those types will find ANYTHING they can to complain about how or why someone acts the way they do and it wont stop at using the word faggot.
Jaxon Sanchez
Same guy, I suppose that you could reconnect if you called him out on that kind of behavior outright and made it clear you're not humoring it, but that's going to strain things quickly if he can't let it go.
David Nguyen
Yeah I don’t want to curb my language lmao. Hes been my friend for so long that I won’t drop the relationship, but I’m definitely not happy with what he did. I guess I’ll contact him and organize us speaking in person, and tell him his way of dealing with how he felt was poor.
Isaiah Lee
Be clear. He, not you, is the victim here. He is the one who was emotionally harmed by your language. And you are the one who has to make the first move.
Get in touch with him somehow. Apologize. Explain that you were being unthinking and immature, not consciously vicious, and that you regret the pain you caused. Assure him you've matured from this experience and value his friendship under the new terms
Josiah Hall
>victim >harmed by language Oh pipe down, faggot.
>unthinking and immature No he wasn't. He was himself. He was the same person he's been the entire time this faggot has known him except now the faggot has decided on a whim that he doesn't like the word "faggot" because now he identifies himself as a faggot. The faggot is a hypocrite and a passive aggressive cunt that deserves nothing.
Cameron Brooks
Does him being the victim therefore condone how he reacted?
It was shitty of me to call him that but given the circumstances of him using the word in the past, as well as going as far to call me a faggot in the past, in conjunction with his reaction, I find myself angry at him in a way that doesn’t want me to contact him first.
Parker Green
my best friend wouldn't come out as some queer retard because 1. We share world views and morals to some extent 2. Neither of us would allow the other to fall victim to abuse and propaganda 3. Neither of us is idiotic enough to be manipulated by THE FUCKING INTERNET chances are you're not really big friends with this dude, he's not from your childhood, you met him at college at best
>Do you get upset we call people newfags as well? No, I don't. "Fag" and "nigger" are words that belong in the Jow Forums culture for a variety of terrible and desperate reasons, the chief reason being that we are anonymous. Those words serve as a litmus test to determine who can handle this sadomasochistic place. Personally, I like it here. I wouldn't spend any time at all with you shitmagicians in real life if you acted this way though. Whatever words your friend group used in the past, it sounds like a bad place for LGBT people to be. There are several possibilities why your trans acquaintance used "faggot" in the past. Whatever reason it was, he was probably uncomfortable saying it, under the surface. Maybe it was to continue to fit in to a group he had found a place in. Maybe it was because he hated feeling transgender and was hoping to burn it out of himself. Maybe he just hadn't thought a whole lot about what the word means to faggot people when it is said by not-faggot people.
If you want to reclaim the friendship with him, it is going to require an apology from both of you. However, if you deliver your apology first, it will be important to restore his faith in you. From my not faggot male to female perspective, the damage you caused to his peace of mind was more severe than his breaking off your connection. He did it to preserve himself.
Josiah Ross
Thank you, very logical understanding of the situation.
Hunter Phillips
>It’s hard for me to suck up my pride because of these circumstances. Should I text my friend in order to talk and rekindle, or wait for him to contact me? Do you really need to be friends with a bitchy faggot who wants to pretend to be a girl?
Zachary Reyes
>He is the one who was emotionally harmed by your language
Emotionally harmed by your language.
Dude, you could call me whatever you wanted and I would not be "emotionally harmed" Do you know why?
Because sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. You're a worse faggot than the faggot this guy wrote about.
