ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

All the fucking time. The loud ones only come out when we're alone though, but don't think for a minute we don't enjoy it lmao

My ex (25 F) just broke 4 months of no contact to text and say she misses me (25 M). And that even though we we didn't work out as a couple she wants to become friends again.

She initiated the breakup which ended on mutually bad terms and I blocked her on all social media. This is our first contact of any remote kind in over 4 months.

What's going on here?

Is there a point of trying to date women if you have autism? Should I just give up already?

She is feeling the burn of being alone now, user. not even meming. Don't go back to her, just ignore her and look forward in your life.

Friendship after a break up DOES work, but not so short after. I am on good terms with an old boyfriend, but it took us 3 years of not talking and lowkey hatng each other.

depends, how does your autism manifest?

She left you because she had a vague interest in another guy, that hasn't worked out as planned so she's trying to find her way back into your life and set you up as back up.

My friend was in a relationship with an autistic guy for about 5 years. Unfortunately, he was also a sociopath, otherwise they'd probably still be together

Obsession of some historical things, I cant be normal around people, cant understand irony or sarcasm etc
That said I can be more normal by sheer amount lying and having make fake persona/facade/"mask" on. But thing is I dont like lying and I cant keep it up forever sooner or later I slip out of it and funnily enough it exhaust me both physically and mentally as well.
Things that dont fly in a relationship as far as I understand.

This times 1 trillion. Though it's with politics, history, paranormal and philosophy

Guys is it true that if you have intrested. the girl should play hard to get otherwise you loose that interested. And how to play hard to get, without seeming like you really dont want a relationship?

any girl here ever do findomme stuff? How did it make you feel?

Well, obsession with facts is definitely no relationship killer. What you need to look out for is that you don't devalue other peoples interests though and try to actively listen and engage in conversation. If your future GF is into horse riding for example, it would be a tad annoying if you change the convo to war horses everytime she tries to talk about it.

Lying is not the way to go in a relationship anyways, so don't bother. It's okay to have a "social" mask at the beginning of getting to know someone, everyone does that. Keep gross things to yourself though.

>Guys is it true that if you have intrested. the girl should play hard to get otherwise you loose that interested.

Not true. Ideally I want to be met at least halfway in enthusiasm and any extra on her part can be adorable and reassuring

This is not true at all, at least not for many men.
I know many women will pretend not to like you at first as some sort of test, but it was never something I liked or needed to stay interested in someone.

I'll assume you're talking about playing hard to get before actually dating.

If he's legitimately interested and you want see him upset or angry, then go right ahead. Nothing is more attractive than a woman being into you, so long as she's only like that with you.

Play hard to get AFTER you start dating; don't put out early, wait a few months.

>>Play hard to get AFTER you start dating; don't put out early, wait a few months.

That's horrible fucking advice. I would assume the girl had zero physical attraction towards me and was either trying to play games with me or maybe just liked my personality or something like that. Either way I would think that she was not physically attracted to me and who the hell wants to be in a relationship with somebody that doesn't find them physically attractive? When's the last time you heard somebody say they want to meet somebody that they don't sexually arouse at all ever? It's not like you have to fuck every guy in the first 20 minutes of meeting but you know if your getting in a relationship with somebody and it's fucking insane it will make them think you don't really like them physically if you withhold sex for 3 or 4 months just because you want to play some come chase me game.

100% agree with this. Generaly playing hard to get is a stupid fucking move anyways.

It's about building trust and a relationship before introducing intimacy, which makes you vulnerable to one another.

This would just piss me off.
There is a subset of men that enjoys "the chase", but they're degenerates through and through, and should be avoided, not catered to.

But don't whore yourself out in a relationship, that is separate from playing "hard to get". Waiting until marriage is best, but at the very least don't give out sex for a few months (and never tell a guy this, since the ones who like to chase will then have a timetable).
Waiting filters out degenerates who just want to use your body.

Why can't we just stick to the old "3 dates and if everything fits at that point have sex" rule.

So easy. So unproblematic.

Because you don't know a person after 3 dates.
If you value sex, you don't want to share it with someone you don't know well enough.

Trips of truth.

Depends on what you do on the date. And you don't need to know a person inside out for it to be a meaningful event. idk if "Dating" means something different than having acomitted relationship though. Because if you ask me, after you had sex and 3 dates at the very least you should be ready to have a comitted relationship of at least a few years.

Probably bait, but I'll bite.
Because it is an entirely arbitrary condition set by people who act on base impulse but want to delude themselves into thinking they're still "good" by following that silly convention; it prematurely bonds you to your partner, and torpedoes future relationships through such recklessness.

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00996.x/abstract
>Bivariate results suggested that delaying sexual involvement was associated with higher relationship quality across several dimensions. The multivariate results indicated that the speed of entry into sexual relationships was negatively associated with marital quality, but only among women."

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x/abstract
>"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution."

psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-25811-011
>"Both structural equation and group comparison analyses demonstrated that sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes, even when controlling for education, the number of sexual partners, religiosity, and relationship length."

>Because if you ask me, after you had sex and 3 dates at the very least you should be ready to have a comitted relationship of at least a few years.

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jesus christ, nobody says it has to be EXACTLY 3 dates ore else... It's just ridiculous that people seem to think it can only be one of the two extremes, wait till mariage or fuck on sight.

girls that play hard to get absolutely turn me off

That's sadly how girls see relationships.

I had a gut feeling that my boyfriend was amazing after the first date with him. But I also had that feeling about a guy who was married with another woman and wanted to make me his side bitch. And a guy who dumped me after 2 weeks. And I guy I dumped after 3 weeks.

Now - I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, I love him more than I love myself, I can't wait to marry him. My "gut feeling" about him was right. But if I followed my gut feelings every time and I fucked every time I felt butterflies for a guy, I would have been pumped and dumped a lot.

Tell that to my comitted 2 1/2 year ass who's getting married soon.

I'm really happy for you that it all worked out in the end! Butterflies can be a real pain in the ass, I was deeply disapoiinted by a man I had them too. I went into the relationship I am now much more methodical, we both wanted to try a diffeent approach. So we had the 3 dates, with a lot of focus on getting to know each other first.

But it seems like most people here won't care about nuance. obviously it's not gonna work for everyone the same.

> It's just ridiculous that people seem to think it can only be one of the two extremes, wait till mariage or fuck on sight.
In this case, morally speaking, that's exactly all there is. You either wait, or don't, anything in between is completely arbitrary and subject to abuse by delusional individuals.
You can say there are "committed relationships" but in reality these are just indulgences in pleasure taken under similarly fleeting and nebulous conditions, constructed to make people feel good about themselves and nothing more. Because what is this "commitment"? It can be broken at any time, unilaterally and without real consequences. They say it is "exclusivity", and yet these people have no problem with successive relationships and sexual partners (because it's not at the same time, they say)--but in this case, then cheating would also be near-impossible by their logic, as a person rarely fucks their paramour at the same time as their partner.

I think the main problem here is that sex is seen as the be all and end all. Of course you are right that it is something we do to feel better, but that pretty much is true for every single social interaction.

Why do you think it is moraly better to wait with sex? what about the first kiss? the first hug? Personally, I feel like even kissing for the first time is a sign that we should start a serious relationship. Again, keeping in mind the "3 dates rule" (dont take it literal)

I am also obviously not taslking about people you meet at a bar while having a fun timke, I'm talking about two people who set out with the intention of a serious relationship.

I always wait at least a couple of months before having sex, I don't trust my butterflies.
To me 3 dates is way too little. I had 3 great dates with all the guys I felt the "butterflies" for, but at the end they weren't so great - married, or just incompatible for a reason or the other.

Then, I'm happy it worked out for you.

How do women feel about dating a guy with no friends? As long as he isn't "clingy", he should be just as good as a guy who has a social life, right?
You wouldn't be interested in meeting my friends anyway, right?

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pls don't take "3 dates" too literal. This whole discussion started because someone was asking about "playing hard" I don't think waiting a few months liek you was playing hard. I understand Playing hard to get as constantly teasing, but never giving into the be all and end all of SEX.

>Why do you think it is morally better to wait with sex
Because not doing so is spitting in the face of the concept of commitment to one person, and moreover damages one's ability to form attachments for more serious relationships.
>what about the first kiss? the first hug?
Don't have the same effect on the brain, normally. I suppose there are exceptions with nymphos and the like, and taking it to excess like typical bar sluts is also off-putting, but they're not on the same level at all.

Playing hard to get is for lunatics, I detest that. Agree with you.

If a girl has some interest in a guy, she should show it a little bit in some way. Otherwise it feels like a hopeless or pointless chase for a girl that wants nothing to do with you.

>Because not doing so is spitting in the face of the concept of commitment to one person
Not if you go into it with the expectation that you at least want to try for something serious.

You seem to have a utopian idea of how relationships should work out that just doesn't reflect the reality. You have to be able to compromise. Again, I am not talking about flings, I am talking about two people going into it with the hope for a serious relationship that eventually leads to marriage.

I have to go do something else now, but maybe if you're still around a little later we can continue the discussion.

hi there. i recently went to a party, it was an 18 party so it was pretty wild. but two girls from primary school showed up and i basically got to talk with them for the whole party. i've been out of a pseudo relationship for about a year now and i've been lonely since. i wanna talk to them. but they're both really close friends and i don't want to send the wrong signals. should i choose one of the girls and focus on her, or what? thanks!

some background information, i've got social anxiety, so parties and talking to girls is not really a thing for me. also im not allowed to have a girlfriend, my previous relationship was made out of rebellion and i've regretted it since. it was a pseudo relationship because we practically dated online and only met up one on one like 3 times before breaking up.

Is there a way to reignite interest in a girl?

>Not if you go into it with the expectation that you at least want to try for something serious.
As I said, delusional. This is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
>You seem to have a utopian idea of how relationships should work out that just doesn't reflect the reality.
It does reflect reality, though. Those who wait have far better outcomes in their relationships, even controlling for religion.
> I am talking about two people going into it with the hope for a serious relationship that eventually leads to marriage.
If you give out everything within a marriage outside of it, then marriage itself loses its meaning. If you value marriage for anything other than a tax break, you will save yourself for it. Both pragmatically and morally.

If you fuck, the damage is done, and you will have a harder time bonding (and much more so for women than men) to subsequent partners. So not only does sex muddy the waters in evaluating your current partner (by confusing love with lust), it also makes future relationships harder to pursue. Whereas for those who wait, if you realize you are incompatible with a person, you can simply split up with no harm done, and without damaging your ability to bond. To "compromise" here is quite literally finding the middle ground with stupidity. A "compromise" between right and wrong is still wrong.

This is usually when the degenerates come out in full force, without sources as always. I have to go to sleep, actually.

Well you certainly shouldn't hit on two girls who will compare notes with one another and discover that you are flirting with them both.

Question for people who have worked in food industry

Does it matter if tips are given in cash or signed on the receipt? I usually never carry much cash on me and was wondering if people have a preference for that kind of thing.

>two girls from primary school showed up and i basically got to talk with them for the whole party
>primary school

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What does it matter? They're getting money you're not legally obliged to give them either way, they can like it or lump it.

>tipping
Good goy.

My current boyfriend (been together for 2.5 years now) basically has no friends and I don't find it bothersome at all. He has some people he talks to online and he can get along with my friend group well enough when we interact, he's just the type of person who doesn't really care for it. My ex had a bunch of friends who I just could not get along with at all and that was far more awkward and a strain on the relationship. I don't think you need to worry about it, unless the reason you have no friends is because you're just straight up unpleasant to be around.

Depends. How long has it been?

I would start calling you "princess". :3

You shouldn't play hard to get. Just don't offer your vagina on the first night.

If a girl leaves her friends in a bar/club to come talk to you but doesn't say anything overly flirty, just small talk and questions about yourself, is that a direct or indirect approach?

Has anyone ruined a promising relationship because of anxiety or overthinking? Would you be willing to share a story?

I dunno, a month maybe?

Yeah. Boyfriend dumped me over text completely out of the blue because I didn't make a big enough impression on his friends and was too socially anxious / quiet.

6 months later we're arguably closer than ever and might as well still be a couple, because when you love somebody, anxiety is a ridiculous reason to dump them.

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Girls, how important is a good body to you if you're just looking to have casual sex or get involved witha guy without any relationship being on the table for whatever reason?

Is being Jow Forums actually important to you in that regard?

I've got a first date in a couple of hours. I got out of a relationship a month ago so its my first 'first date' in a few years. I'm feeling pretty nervous. Is this normal to feel this way?

Yes

>might as well still be a couple
You're not "officially" together?

Sorry, but what the actual fuck? Why does it fucking matter if it's "direct" or "indirect"?

You are overanalizing this social interaction to such a meaningless point that it leaves me shocked.

Really, may I ask what's the point of your question? What do you expect to learn with it?

Yeah, fairly recently. I was with this girl around a year. She a lot of firsts for me and despite her best efforts for a long while, a lot of the time I was uncomfortable or not able to be how I actually wanted and do things I actually wanted to do. Our sex life was a lot of effort sometimes, and even though a lot of things were improving, I just started getting worse and worse with my mental health.

I used to worry incessantly about things happening to her. I used to not get sleep if she was out, or get pissed off when she didn't message, or miss sleep lying there thinking about what could happen. Then there's the jealousy when she was spending time with her friends, especially male ones. After a while the time we did spend together was just awkward and I'd get upset or not be able to talk to her.

Sometimes I used to wait until she fell asleep before crying, sometimes I used to drink to fall asleep on my own, sometimes I used to think that I should just break up with her. The whole time I was never able to communicate with her properly. I'd get upset or try to talk to her and literally not be able to get words out. We used to argue and I'd just sit there not able to say things back, hating myself. After a while I framed the problem around her, and was thinking a lot about breaking up with her or at least trying to get her to change. One chance went, all I could do was get upset with her and we talked about how difficult everything was and how we'd 'try'.

Then the second chance went after nothing changed, and she said that should try to fall in love with each-other again and go back to how things were when we first started seeing each-other. I was fully depressed by this point and had no social life or money, so I couldn't do anything without there being a horrific amount of pressure, and time would start slipping by when we wouldn't speak for whatever reason. Sometimes I used to try and use it as tests, just to see if she'd message me first.

We started dating. I failed to kiss her on six dates out of anxiety. She apparently simultaneously began to fall for me harder than she thought while also thinking I wasn't that interested because I didn't kiss her. So she tried to cut contact in order to protect herself and I tried to force contact in order to fix my mistake and kiss her. Things went nuclear.

It wasn't good.

If I'm a skinny guy, is it reasonable to assume I can attract a girl with the same body type? As a more open ended question, how do fitness standards affect relationship dynamics?

>If I'm a skinny guy, is it reasonable to assume I can attract a girl with the same body type?

No. Why would it be?

Do guys like slightly chubby, curvy short girls?

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The whole time I was with her I used to think I wasn't good enough for her, and I'd think about how her ex-boyfriends were probably better than me, and how she could do so much better and she'd be more attracted to other people. I wanted to be with her forever, but I used to worry about if either of us changed or if she'd start meeting new people and fall in love with someone new. I used to constantly think about her with other guys, and every little look when we were out was too much for me. I used to watch where she was looking or analyse how she talked and look at her body language.

A few months ago the dam burst and when we were talking after a few days of not being able to speak to each-other she told me she couldn't keep having the same conversation with me and that we couldn't keep trying to stay together. I've been fucked ever since and I just don't know what to do. I'm on medication now and have started seeing a therapist, but all I can think about is that I got one chance and fucked it up. She told me for months that I should go see a doctor and talk about my problems.

Assuming the face is alright as she is not such a massive cunt we feel like drowning when spending time with her, sure, "slightly chubby" is not a dealbreaker for ME. And on that note:

>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

Read the damn OP.

Not really. First, it's not like body is the only thing that one takes into account while choosing a partner. Second, skinny girls are highly desirable while skinny guys aren't.

If you want to date skinny girls, get fit.

What do you say to someone that you Super liked accidentally?

No. We haven't sat down to talk about it and haven't changed our Facebook statuses or anything like that, but everybody who knows us acknowledges that it's a thing.

He did say some time ago that he knows that he made a huge mistake/blew the situation up and doesn't feel that he deserves a second chance, so I guess at this point if he takes me back he's got to marry me.

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What kind of girl can a skinny guy realistically expect to get?

Nothing. You keep it to yourself. You don't need to hurt someone's feelings because you made a mistake.

>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
>There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

I should clarify some points so that I don't just look like a delusional stalker;

I mean 'talking about moving in together,' 'giving me his recently passed grandmother's belongings,' 'say hi to your mum for me!' style couple-y stuff.
I really think that a lot of his reasoning in the first place was spurred by his own anxiety - the way that he views himself, and the way he wants others to view him.

Mostly no. I'm a guy who likes to pursue, and that was fine when I was younger, but society is changing to the point where it's hard to agressive without being considered a creep... so playing hard to get will stop most decent guys in their tracks. That being said, there is an art to it... if you can pull off letting him know that you should pursue you while also being hard to get, it can drive the right kind of guy wild (in a good way)...

If you're not 'officially together', he's still keeping his options open. He can pursue/sleep with other women without feeling guilty, but he still has you around. He's using the line about not being worthy to make it seem like he's doing it for you... I know because I've been this guy (and I'm a terrible human being).

This literally just depends on the tastes of the girl in question. I like skinny, slightly feminine guys and am (arguably) skinny. Most girls are into more ottermode/fit type guys though, regardless of their own body type.

How is it possible that you just haven't talked about it? Do you never say "I love you"? How long were you dating before this weird 6 month limbo? What does he introduce you to new people as? How can you be happy with this half-committed confusion?

Girls: I've been talking to this girl online for about a month and now she's moving near me next week. problem is her birthday is also next week and I don't know what to get her as a present. It feels too early to get her anything expensive but I don't want to also look cheap/not thoughtful. Would taking her to a restaurant be the best solution?

Why does it matter if you are not dating? You are barely a friend. People in their 20's and up understand that gifts for strangers are usually weird.

You can't buy her attention with the perfect gift. Ask her out if that's what you want.

A high Test THICCC Braphog

Part of the reason she's moving is so she can be with me, we were long distance

After a single month? That's enough time to relocate for someone? You guys are rushing this shit. It sounds like you haven't even met.

PART of the reason, she wasn't that far away to begin with

Either she is making a huge desicion based on a relationship that hasn't even started yet OR the relationship isn't that big a deal and a simple gift is not a big deal. You tell me which one it is.

Touch him. That's the best signal you can give a male. Get him drunk and touch his hands/legs/face/whatever. If he responds lean closer. If he's a gigantic pussy and still won't kiss you: guess what, kiss him. Works every time with me.

You sound disillusioned with lust and the new puppy love neurotransmitter cocktail that makes your brain fire like a drug addicts. You should probably stop rushing things if you want that relationship to last

>Girls
I found out my girlfriend has been in a threesome with two guys in her past. We've been together for a year. However after finding out about this, it's really damaged my image of her. I don't put her on a pedestal, but I don't like that she's done it.

How much of an asshole am I for slowly not wanting to be with her anymore. This is a girl I love (or at least thought I did) but I can't be with someone who has done something I view as trashy.

Femanons, whats the best pick up line you’ve ever received on Tinder?