I already got the method and place, CO poisoning in empty room. Everyone has been informed of the decision but not told the details. Will has been made. Not changing my mind. I feel so much relief at this decision :)
Got about a week to go, what should I do?
I've lived a full enough life so just want to make the last week simple.
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Hmmm
I would go take someone you care about on a trip for a week. Particularly someone who knew you since you were young if possible.
That person who in life who never judged you, never offered you false praise, who was slow to congratulate buy meant it when they did.
smuge croc has more butterflies than you
How old are you? What convinced you that you need to do that?
That person doesn't exist lol
I could do a solo trip through
26.
I always felt this way but thought it would pass. Instead I got continuously screwed over by everyone. I have no regrets, it's kinda like I just want to start over in a new life. I believe in that stuff.
Thanks it's cool but I don't have much time to read the whole thing.
Also thanks for not being a virus because I put my phone in my will to someone, so it needs to work.
How would you feel about a solo trip?
pshhhhhhhhhhhh
There's this scenic train ride I have wanted to do for a while. Since nobody wants to go with me I suppose I can go at it alone, I have done everything else solo anyway.
Plus it will be nice to not have to talk or think and just look out the window.
Heroin.
LSD.
Prostitute.
Honestly bro, it's fine that you believe in reincarnation but there is also a high possibility that eternal darkness is awaiting you in a week. My point is that you are 26 and most likely still at good health. If you want to kill yourself, you can do it at any possible moment, but once you do it and if you find out that death isn't what you imagined it to be, you can't turn back. Why not explore the world for as long as you want to, and not rush it in a week?
Thanks but I hate drugs, they ruined my life because a family member did them and I don't respect them.
I have no regrets about my sex life.
Also I'm female so if I really needed that I wouldn't have an issue but I feel no desire for that anymore.
It sounds like taking this train ride would be possible if you want to do it, and it sounds like something you can enjoy regardless of who you go with. How long have you wanted to go on the trip?
I did. I explored everything and lived a full life.
Also whatever awaits me if it's nothingness then I wouldn't be able to imagine anything. It sounds peaceful.
Why? What's up, user?
I mean I always wanted to go on a scenic trainride but I found this while traveling and I'm now living there so it's easy to do in a day. Just me and my thoughts. I mean surely there will be other passengers but I'll be in my own world in a way.
Also it's dorky but it kinda reminds me of Spirited Away, feels like going to the next life. But mostly I just love trains.
>suicide
>woman
Kek. Statistic says you will fail your suicide. And seeing your method you will indeed survive.
Btw you are only 26. Go to psychologist.
user please call a hotline and seek immediate help. your life is worth infinitely more than you think right now.
I'm sad that you have reached the decision to kill yourself - I believe that everyone still has potential to experience new things.
If I had one week left I would probably go to a remote place and reflect about my life. I imagine a place like a desert just sitting in the sand dunes for myself. Could also be a very dense deep forest.
Going out alone in the woods, or national parks for a whole day/ days. Brings a sort of exhilarating of extreme isolation and peace. It's extremely hard to explain but being isolated out in nature seems so peaceful yet ever exponentially all-encompassing power. It really creates a sense of scale to how small we are in the continuation of the universe. It's really settling to think of just realizing how little our problems are in this world full of instant gratification.
I'm rabbling essentially, but really considering going out into deprivation and isolation puts a different perspective on how egocentric our new world is full of a suburb, broken families, superficiality, and politics. So yeah go outside/outdoors it'll make you feel pretty awe-inspired and it'll oddly enough give you some sentience as a human being yourself. It completely changes one's mode of thought.
It's a good thing statistics are averages.
I know people who have done this, it isn't hard. I did my research and I would only survive if someone managed to find me pretty quick.
But thanks for bringing some sexism into my life, what's new :)
Also I have sone therapy, it's useless if nothing ever changes in life. I survived long enough to do everything I ever wanted to do, being alone I though I could live a solitary life or find a new purpose, but I feel a bit of dread about it.
Everyone wants to send me off rather than just be people in my life themselves. And that's fine. So I accept it.
26 seems young but I feel really old.
I have been through like adults full lifetimes already.
Nobody is really worth anything except to people close to them. Nobody is close to me enough to notice unless I told them.
Sure but I experienced a lot already. It's not like I gave up at teen angst stage lol.
Sounds nice but there's no deserts nearby, but lots of nature places, I've been to a bunch and I think maybe a waterfall would be a good final day.
Sounds like you come from a troubled background. You mentioned that a family member did drugs - A close relative?
I would strongly advise you to take psilocybin mushrooms, despite this position. I promise it will not make you harm anyone if you simply read up on it beforehand. The results will surprise you.
I actually do this often.
Nature really is peaceful.
Let me guess: rape.
I bet your tormentors are still alive. Even if you get caught for murder, with your motive after 10 years your will be out of prison and ready to start anew.
Btw if you really wanted to die, you wouldnt be attention whoring here. Stop lying. Also is right. LSD, acid or shroom with strong psychedelic effects have a chance to show you a different view on your life / world and in a permanent way change your thinking patterns. Perhaps in a way that you will find life worth living again.
you have family that loves and cares about you. i'm sure you have friends that care about you deeply even if you currently feel ostracized from them.
your perception of reality right now isn't necessarily reflective of what's really happening. go talk to someone, get a second opinion and really try to take stock of everything. you only get one life, don't throw it away.
Yeah, I was dead inside back then but I channeled it into hobbies and goals and I told myself they have a problem not me, and I went after what I wanted alone telling myself I couldn't have changed them.
I wanted to date and got to try that too, even though it seems I wasn't really capable of normal relationships. But I had some flings and heartache along the way.
I just feel like I set a list and did everything, if I could have found someone who is there for me always it would have been nice but I'm the backup options for guys. I thought about motherhood but I worry for any potential child.
I'm not scared of death, I've never been scared of it.
Lol nope but thanks for all the assumptions. I guess you really don't know what being this close even means. You feel a lot of dread and at the end you feel so calm and relieved. Your body doesn't feel anything but like a light air floating through life because it's the grand finale.
If I was sad I would jump off something.
I'm going to sleep and wake up not me anymore. Or never wakeup. Whichever.
I wanted to post to share the experience, I'm not going today so this isn't a last effort.
But this is the reality.
Everyone has told me so.
They said I don't have family or friends or anything to keep me alive and I'm like, yeah I know.
I had dreams but I accomplished them mostly.
I think people who want to help want to feel like they can save someone or that they aren't responsible, but you don't actually really care about me who yo have no connection to.
Anyway writing my will now..
It's kinda fun
Plan I have for now:
- train ride
- waterfalls
- beach
- mountain
>I did. I explored everything and lived a full life.
You're 26.
You may not be a child anymore, but lets not sit here and pretend you've traveled the world and done all there is to do. You're still just a sprout.
So what is it that ultimately isn't meshing with your life? It can't be people, they're too easy to ignore. Regret? Disease? Lose too many loved ones? Talk to me.
You don't think adopting a child would give your life a new purpose? Vowing to yourself that this child will be treated better by you than you ever were by anyone.
My girlfriend are pregnant with our first child - a son. Of course I am nervous but I am ecstatic to teach him everything, pour my love into him and shape him into a man.
life isn't a period in which your only function is to tick off items from a list. life is an extended journey through which we learn and evolve; we constantly renew ourselves and find new meaning in ourselves, others and the world around us. you're only 26 and to say that because you've accomplished ~most~ of your goals you can end your life is nonsense. you've only just started life and have only experienced a fraction of a life
i admit that i may not know or care about you like a would my own family or friends, but in this moment i am genuinely concerned for your well being. even if me or others don't care about you as much as you feel you deserve doesn't mean you can throw your life away. God loves you more than you can comprehend and wants you to live your life
user, I get your logic. I've been there. You have to realize that isn't a valid way of thinking. If you remove every first step that a person can take to get to know you, then you'll never allow anybody to see enough of you to come to respect and appreciate you.
So maybe some of us just want to save somebody, or not feel responsible, but that's also all we can do without your cooperation. We can only project out will and our desires onto you until you let us in.
OP, this ^
I left six years ago and went and lived in several countries and visited more.
Just because most people don't or can't do this doesn't mean I'm the same.
I don't hate anyone or anything.
I just feel... complete.
Lucky you, you get a good life.
I cannot afford to take care of a child.
Whether I adopt or had my own.
I am not going to bring up a child poorly to fulfill myself. I also was pregnant and couldn't have it, it was for the best.
I don't believe in god.
I let people in. They left.
If you keep telling yourself that you have done everything you wanted to, even though that can't possibly be true, you are denying yourself a will to live and suffocating any voice in your head that might tell you to live on.
Yet, you're alone. You're interjecting in a natural process.
Is it fear?
Okay well I talked with some curious people and also took in your suggestions. I made a will and a plan. Next week I will leave on a local trip and not come back.
I'll stay to chat until the thread dies for any reason, anyone also dying soon whether by choice or not, wanna talk about life, movies even, anything~
Why did they leave?
I opened myself up and they left everytime. Some people I'm glad they are gone but the ones I loved chose not to stay in my life, and in fact play mind games with my heart. If they wanted to be there they would, I welcome them, they just wanna pretend so that I will admit I love them and reject me anyway lol. So I said take your stuff back and leave me alone, they refused and stalked me, and yet here we are.
I'm not someone capable of opening myself up and being betrayed repeatedly. I think this many times sends a message that I am better off in solitude, even so I still told them my plans anyway.
lol who knows
because they prefer someone else
Hmm. From what I'm hearing, they don't exactly sound like the most upstanding people. What was it that drew you to them? How long had you known them?
Betrayal is never an easy thing to swallow, there's no doubt. It's easy to give up, and to lose faith, but in doing so all you'll be doing is setting that reality into stone. There are so many people out in the world, so many stories to tell, ideas to share, thoughts to ponder... If people like you or I can exist and cross paths, then who's to tell what could happen, you know. It's sort of the nature of the cosmos.
I don't believe that's something that you should blame yourself for. It isn't always a matter of being a good person, or having the right intentions, but a difference in personal philosophy that prevents people from being able to understand one another. Life is what shapes us as individuals. Our experiences, and what we take from them. Sometimes, we just learn the wrong lessons.
Well, maybe there's no talking you out of this. I might not agree with it, but if you find you need somebody to talk to, I'll be around.
Have a good night.
this is scaring me..
Why the fuck would that scare you
At least it won't hurt...
Usually only people living in western countries use this bored in English but where I am it was already night and they said goodnight. how would they know that? the email also has the name of someone I know. I had issues with exes and stalking and mind games and today I told them I was leaving.
of course that would scare me.
after all the nonstop pain yeah a painless dream like death is ideal :)
Why do you have tl wait so long. Why not tomorrow?
The fact youre posting here instead of actually doing it proves youre just a whiny attention whore doesnt actually have the balls to do it and is only looking for attentiin from others. Please, kys
I already said a week and I can't sleep at all. I have to give my will tomorrow and book a room to do it. It's carefully planned out.
I would love to do it right now but I wouldn't be able to do monoxide.
The fact that it's planned out means it's not a rash decision, but you do you and continue putting all that bitter angst into trolling people online anonymously.
Gotta give the will in the evening and travel out but I couldn't book a room so soon. I'm going to travel to a quiet resort place with scenery everywhere for my last days and it's busy season.
I wish I had the balls to do the same, enjoy this week and then embrace what you need to do. I've always felt like that, but having kids I cant do that to them. Good luck to you!
Well take care my dude
Post a pic on adv before you do it so we can look at you one last time. Are you gonna do it next week tuesday? What day is it gonna be?
>The fact youre posting here instead of actually doing it proves youre just a whiny attention whore doesnt actually have the balls to do it and is only looking for attentiin from others. Please, kys
^This. Have you gotten enough attention yet?
What attention? This is anonymous. Why are you spamming here? You want attention it seems :)
I am having insomnia.. I explained above that I have to wait until at least tomorrow. I wanted to run away to do it but now I'm thinking maybe I should just do it tomorrow. I feel like someone is gonna interfere :/ Wherever I can get a private place to inhale the gas, I don't live alone.
I don't see why that is necessary. Nobody wants to see me and I don't want to be seen either. Just imagine me as whoever you want.
If you are gonna die anyways i don't see the problem.
There is literally nothing to lose. Also go spend ALL your money in the week you have left. No point in leaving any behind
why wait a week?
> :)
> :/
Stop fucking doing that. This is an imageboard, not a chat room. We have images for a fucking reason. If you want to type like that, go to r*ddit.
I'm not like rich or anything but I have some to travel to a nice place and be in nature
I guess because now that I can finally do it I felt a sense of relief and want death to be peaceful. I feel fuzzy like nothing is real already, it is euphoric.
I need to try to sleep.now... tomorrow is important.
:P
feels like you're having second thoughts about it desu
have fun not existing
Post pic of face. Not like it matters anyway.
26 years old, also woman but I'm actually "hopeless" as being mentally ill, paranoid to a excess, likely the start of schizophrenia, no studies beyond high school, very poor and no future prospects. I'm also a virgin and really ugly, my father cheats on my mom and I'm the only one who knows, sister got married and moved abroad, family is small / no cousins. Yep, still live with parents, can't fathom to abandon mom now.
YET I don't have the urge for suicide even though I'm really into /x/ stuff and death has been fascinating me since ever.
For the whole thread, I still don't understand why OP wants to kill themselves. They've given no actual reason yet.
For the record, I have a deep hatred for people who voluntarily commit suicide. Also OP is likely bullshitting, no way a 26 years old who had the opportunities to travel and live through the world got the urge to commit suicide with absolutely no room for second-thoughts. Suicide is a mega super LAST RESORT even for people who lost both arms and legs or got burned skin / suffered enormously throughout life. Even they have second thoughts about ending one's life.
Yet OP comes here to tell me "I'm 26, I've lives a FULL LIFE TRUST ME GUYS but yeah I got bored of doing awesome shit, 'I'm gonna kill myself in a week, bye"
I don't buy this one second.
Issa nother attention whore
like, why even make this thread if you're so set on it?
offtopic but you should tell your mom about the cheating
I'm not OP, I didn't make the thread, I don't want to suicide and I hate suicides, but you would have known that if you read my post and not just mindlessly comment about attention whoring.
It was pretty mindless attention whoring
Nobody asked about your story and this thread wasn't about it
Also, nobody wants your opinion on suicide-- you can't even get over your own shit and move out of your mom's, what kind of worldly and open view are you approaching with that tells us you'd know the kind of gravity that leads to suicide?
Ain't our fault you have a spine made of sponge and a brain made of mashed peas. Go be bitter at someone else
And that's from someone who thinks OP is a faggot for being all melodramatic about suicide. I think you're a faggot too, but just because you have faggot merits, like 'uses problem to gaslight others into thinking their suicide should bring them guilt, but does nothing to fix or amend her own misery.' Amidst many others such as being into /x/, and talking down to suicidal people when you'd rather perpetuate and wallow in your own misery
At least suicide's doing fucking SOMEthing about it. Not that you'd be familiar with that sensation, now, wouldya.
user, you may claim you’ve lived a full life and all that bullshit (there’s no possible way you’ve done all there is to do) but from what I’ve read about the post, you’re an hero because you’re a lonely (possible virgin) who’s never had mutual love in a relationship. You’re still taking the pussy way out. There are 7 billion people on this planet, there’s someone for you.
Aren't you a ranty little know-it-all. I think OP has no ground for suicide and should not try to explain themselves with bullshit stories about living life to the fullest. Someone who wanted to suicide in OPs situation would have done it quietly, not come here and say they lived the FULLEST LIFE up to 26, but now I have a week to fuck around, before killing myself, dubs decide what to do. It's bullshit and you know it, this whole thread is bullshit, and I'm giving my insight into it by being the same age as OP and having (maybe) the same thoughts.
I think there can potentially be legitimate reasons for suicide, but they are so extreme it's no even worth mentioning. OP is just a selfish cunt trying to mask it under some bullshit made-on-the-spot pretense made for baiting anons (like me and you) hard
Stop acting as if you reached Nirvana, you're just deluding yourself.
>I think
And we just established that nobody gives a shit what you think. You're clearly displayed to have a shit grasp of things at best
You're not having the same thoughts, you're leveraging your problems as a means to put down OP's problems. Fantastique, muy bueno, sugoi, etc.
Your insight is not worth what you think it's worth; your suffering has not made you, but unmade what good did exist in you
I think that's never more proven than by the fact that you can be such a miserable lump and still point the finger at people.
Did you ever wonder, "Why me?" Perhaps this is why. Even in the throes of suffering you would rather cast down another for being less than you
Truly, you people sow your own discontent; so please don't try to talk to the rest of us as if we're equals, not all of us shoot ourselves in the foot and then complain about the foot wound
Make some dmt its easy
Can you do me a favor before you kill yourself? I know you don't know me, but it is a very small favor and it would mean the world to me.
Say out loud or in your head 'Namu Amida Butsu' ten times
(Nah-moo Ah-mee-dah Boot-sue)
I hope your pain and suffering ceases soon. I hope nothing but the best for you.
I don't think you need to worry about that. The email is a burner, nobody in their right mind would post anything that could be traced back to them. In reality, JayF doesn't exist. They're who I could have been, but not who I am. The goodnight was more or less coincidence. It was about 6am when I'd called it a night.
I just wanted to offer you an avenue of communication if you find you need it. It's still strictly anonymous, but sometimes it can be nice to vent to somebody who already understands a bit of the story. So, if you feel you need to talk, I'm here.
Try to survive in the wilderness, the natural home of humans. You haven't experienced the way that humans have been living for millions of years because of modern society. Don't you wanna know what it's like to feel accomplished after eating a meal? To actually fight for life?
Dont bpradcast it on here you fool. The FBI will shut us down for a day whilr they comb through all your posts and visited boards. You better not have gone on /tg/ becuase theres some damn good threads going on right now.