Why does everyone on Jow Forums hate people with BPD?

Hypothetically, and I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, wouldn't deep irresponsibility, mood swings, and generally being a bitch that does not waver or change be considered a personality disorder? It negatively affects their life, even if they won't admit it. What's the line between being an asshole and having a personality disorder?

99% of the time it's an excuse to play victim and whine for attention from others. Actually that's the case with 99% of people who cone here complaining about "x" diagnosis. They focus on an arbitrary label instead of actually fixing themselves. People who make it their lives work to play victim are absolute trash

Everyone hates people with BPD. it's a self destructive disorder that causes you to alienate those around you. The best you can hope for is to control what you can and find people who will accept you even when you fail.

I can't truly hate them cmon, but after my breakup with my bpd ex girlfriend, searching for answers about her behavior led me here to Jow Forums

Very true, which is why it is classed as a personality disorder. I suppose the best way to describe it as a diagnosis is to compare it to General Anxiety Disorder versus a more severe anxiety disorder. It does fall under the criteria of a disorder, but its too vague and not serious enough to justify a more specific diagnosis.

There's a DSM manual that explicitly lays out the diagnoses criteria in the United States. I think they're on version 5 now, but you can Google dsm "x" criteria and it says exactly what's needed for a diagnoses. Mind you this is just in the u.s. the UK etc. Will have different manuals and different diagnostic criteria. They have diagnoses that don't even exist in the dsm here, there's quite a few differences. The labels they use really are arbitrary, your official diagnoses can change depending on where you are. And the manuals are updated regularly, so certain diagnoses may also no longer exist as they did a decade ago. Seriously, it's all very arbitrary

why is there an "x" if it's on its fifth version? wouldn't it be "v"?

I was using "x" as a variable to stand for whatever diagnoses you're looking for, i.e. depression bipolar etc.

BPD has a strong tendency to result in destructive instability and unpredictability. That's not exclusive to people with BPD, of course, but BPD is a pretty reliable predictor that sooner or later you're going to get seriously hurt. Consequently, dating someone with BPD is extremely unwise and self-destructive. As far as "hate" goes, well, anyone who's been there probably has at least some lingering scars from the multimedia experience, and otherwise people like to exaggerate for effect.

I dated one
my friends dad is one (super severe)

they're broken and make for terrible relationships

i'd be friends with one, but never date one

They're a zero sum game. You try and try and try to help doing everything you can and they just take and take and consume.

It's never worth it.

experience, either first or second hand
go ahead, user. try it out. let us know how fucked up your life and mental state are afterwards so we can all point, laugh, and chant i told you so

This.

They tend to prey on people who are genuinely decent human beings who sincerely want to help others. Only unlike people who, say, are just down on their luck for some reason or who've been hurt in the past or whatever, people with BPD are literally bottomless pits who will suck such people into dry husks and then smash their apartment on the way out to the next victim.

And the really sad thing is, oftentimes they know the whole time they're doing it how awfully they're acting but just cannot help themselves, which just adds to their superficial piteousness.

They're basically a human pitcher-plant for trapping and devouring the compassionate and thereby ultimately make the world a shittier place for everyone.

>I don't think anybody hates the former,
i do

Diagnosed EUPD here. I am a pretty shitty person sometimes. I've hurt those closest to me, mostly through suicide attempts, and I struggle with chronic abandonment issues and paranoia. It largely became a thing because of violent and abusive parents, and I'm currently seeking treatment for it. I'm not the greatest partner in the world, but I despise how many women use it as an excuse to be sociopaths.

As for behaviour, I'm only in debt because of how little I'm currently bringing in financially. I do try to manage my finances as best as I can, and prioritise paying bills above luxuries. I spend a lot of time to myself to avoid hurting anyone, as I know what I'm capable of if I'm having an episode.

how long does an 'episode' last?

Anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days. Record is 3 days.

Take a shower and switch from scolding hot water to ice cold water every 3 minutes.

I'm actually surprisingly sweet when I'm lucid. I love cooking and art, and have a romantic streak a mile long. However, when when the pall descends, I become an unstable mess that can't be left near sharp objects. The smallest inconvenience can often set me off into an episode, which means that something like mainstream employment would be virtually impossible. In addition, I overanalyse EVERYTHING, every gesture and every word, and will often catastrophize over simple mistakes that another person has shrugged off, then spiral from there.

Thank you, I might try that next time.

Vicious, nasty abusive people who often prey on the type of person you are likely to find on Jow Forums (i.e. less experienced or assertive, more lonely, etc.). Good people with BPD are a sever minority because few of them are capable of recognising their own faults and working to improve themselves. I feel bad for anyone in a relationship with someone with BPD.

Being loved, as in actually, properly cuddled, held close and all that other jazz, is probably the best possible mitigator for BPD. At least, it is for me. I'm virtually normal when I'm in love.

Because you're getting what you want. The moment that control and happiness is taken from you, you create so much havoc and misery that everybody around you is effected.

Not you personally user, just BPD sufferers in general.

Then why do you push people away who are willing to overlook your faults?

Fuck you
Full-stop.

We just hate on the guy who insists it’s a good idea to date a BPD girl when he himself has BPD. Otherwise we don’t care about it.

Honestly, it all boils down to a very low sense of self-worth. The people willing to overlook our faults are fucking amazing, and should be sainted for their patience and understanding.

You likely dated some sociopathic ho who romanticised the 'lol, I'm so crazy! XD' shit, who used BPD as an excuse to be a Grade A cunt. I know I'm not fucking perfect, I'm a mess. But I would say that, given the right treatment and stability, I'm worth it overall.

Stability is a key thing I value in my life. If things are stable, I am stable. Low-level turmoil is overall fine, like an unexpected bill. It's usually a perfect storm of smaller incidents that sets off a spiral.

That's what ever BPD diagnosee says. They all say that, "just love me and cuddle me and I'm fine uguu~ X3"

like you don't have the tendency to fucking destroy yourself and everything around you just to get that little inkling of attention for it. Nibba we ain't dumb

BPD is a fucking condition and it needs treatment. "Hugging and cuddling and all that jazz" is hilarious because that's just openly asking someone to suffer the rest of your shit on some pretense of you being 'worth it, too' L'oreal, all the while you're unabashed about the rest of your personality fucking vacuuming up every ounce of good around you and replacing it with the kind of emotional flippancy that ends households and destroys families.

But I guess I wouldn't expect much more outta chicks with BPD than to say "pls hug me senpai it'll make it all better X3"

>virtually normal

Attached: 1510231908686.jpg (220x234, 18K)

As a guy with BPD, is there any hope for me relationship-wise? I'm reading posts about others and it is seeming grim. What is the best possible outcome for someone with my condition?

Attached: 1510585647374.png (500x475, 281K)

Sound like me. I hate it

To focus on your condition and battle it hard and true. Do every single thing in your power to stop it from being a burden to another.

Despite what I and others have said in this thread, the real red flag is when people refuse to approach it for what it is: an illness, condition, disease-- something in need of TREATMENT.

I know everyone wants to be on an equal playing field but the sooner we admit we aren't and take steps to leaven that disparity, the sooner we arrive at a reality where, you know, there DOES exist at least a neutral ground.
As it is we fucking encourage people suffering illnesses to 'go out there' and 'be themselves' and then wonder why we keep running into these sick people in society

After being shitted on this whole thread this is encouraging. Knowing is half the battle, no?

Almost exclusively in life the people who get shit on are not fighters. Or at times, fighters are the kinds who focus on the problem and not the things happening around it that are neither it, nor conducive to its resolution. It's very easy to lose sight of the forest for the trees but the most important thing to remember is that you have the power to question. And if you have the power to question-- to say, "Is it really them, or is it me after all?"-- you've not lost a damn thing, you're just catching your breath before you rejoin the race. Nothing more, nothing less. No shame, just the time you need to get back to the goals at hand.

It's insanely important to realize 'treatment' means treatment, though. A 'support network' is really just a bunch of people an illness like that runs dry until they're the ones who are suffering and at no alleviation of anything-- now everyone's just miserable because there's no positivity left to leech on.

If it helps to think of it, being shit on is really just a clear sign that something has become such a problem that people can point it out readily and consistently. Instead of letting it wear you down, think of how you can surpass the object of those insults/put-downs and become something more.

It's really key to just keep looking forward and thinking of yourself as always having room to grow and improve.

Oh, I know what I'm capable of. It's why I'm seeking treatment for my illness.

You see, that's what it is. BPD is an ILLNESS, a DYSFUNCTION. Being a borderline sociopath that's capable of destroying everything around them for the hell of it isn't normal. I know full that I'm capable of ruining the lives of people with any degree of determined effort. Ergo why I know it needs to be either restrained, or at least directed at the right people.

Honestly if someone I knew told me they had BPD I wouldn't give a shit unless they didn't have their shit together.

Even if they showed symptoms at times I'd be supportive as long as they weren't being abusive to me.

The worst thing about people with BPD - the more you apologize to them, the more pathetic you seem to them. The more they devalue you, the more they use their knowledge about you to hurt you where it hurts the most. They get off on triggering people's worst fears and anxieties if you don't invalidate everything except them.

Thank you user.

Attached: latest-5.jpg (998x475, 225K)

>oftentimes they know the whole time they're doing it how awfully they're acting but just cannot help themselve

I don't mean to. It's just my feelings are too strong sometimes and I cant control it. I'm sorry.

They are bad, destructive people.

>Why does everyone on Jow Forums hate people with BPD?
Nice bit of projection, OP.

it's a bit of a meme here desu. anyone with a bad experience with a woman seems to diagnose her as having BPD on here

We don’t hate them necessarily. They’re just completely insane.

This. I was perfectly fine. Then my gf was really busy with finals and going out of town. I mean that was pretty rough on me but after a death in my family it's just too much.

If you can't love and baby me when I really need it I just can't be held responsible for what happens next. I can only avoid being an ass hole for so long after that it's just too much pain and manipulation I'm causing even if I can't immediately notice.

you sound like a needy manchild

>borderline sociopath that's capable of destroying everything around them for the hell of it isn't normal

You make it sound like a super power.

Yeah, so many stories I've read where the person they claim to have bpd doesn't behave anything like me.

>If you can't love and baby me when I really need it I just can't be held responsible for what happens next.
This is why I, personally, strongly dislike BPD people. They are ceding the responsibility for their own actions onto their partners, and selfishly expect constant supply of unconditional love. No matter that your partner has his or her woes - they absolutely MUST focus on your airs, or else. Honestly, fuck people like that. You don't want a romantic partner, you want a fulltime babysitter.

Ok.

Different strokes for different folks.

Honestly nobody likes mental weakness even the mentally ill.

You're a moron

Thank you for this at least
Some do not and believe that life merely conspires against them at every turn instead of realizing that they sow their own discontent.

I just don't appreciate the 'love and hugs' approach because that is a giving-- without someone who can expose themselves to hurt by opening themselves up to you like that, there is no 'all that jazz' like 'normal.' And if BPD is guilty foremost of destroying those around them, it becomes a pretty vicious cycle pretty quickly.

I've just been that one who hugs and hold them and tells them it's normal and we can get through this. And you know, it kills when they're not helping themselves

DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY

BPD doesn't exist
Stop creating shit up.
You are just evil, deal with it fucking thots

I remember when it was just me and two or so other user regulars who told our BPD ex horror stories on Jow Forums. I kind of miss the times when we would cross paths. I'm glad that there is more support here for people who are/were victims of people with BPD. (also fyi for more reading, there is a subreddit dedicated to this: BPDlovedones)

They're resentful about having had all their rules for themselves and their self-concepts shattered by letting their codependent asses do too much for someone else. Half the time the person in question went out of their way to do shit to "save" some borderline girl or improve her in some way despite never even having been asked. Then later on they claim they were cleverly manipulated despite the manipulator in question having the skill set of a grumpy three-year-old.

I hope that you find the growth that you need. Be careful about giving people advice about BPD: what works for you, doesn't necessarily works for other people with BPD. Saying "love them harder and they'll be nice" would mean the person without BPD to be acting like a codependent and would discourage them from facing any possible abuse.
Those of us who dated people with BPD tore our hearts out trying to love them harder. It isn't really the answer. The answer, like you said, is to acquire knowledge, involve professionals, and make sure that both participants have tools for recovery. It's not about just loving someone. It's knowing HOW to love someone. Professionals are required to do this in a healthy way.

The problem with BPD is that it’s symptoms manifest themselves in the same way a bratty misbehaved 2 year old child would act which makes it virtually impossible in the long term to be sympathetic to them. They are not only self destructive but they are like a black hole that pulls everything in around them and destroys it too. They truly are a cancer on the planet. Most of them know it too and cry themselves to sleep at night and have no foreseeable future. It basically comes down to whether or not you want to treat them as mentally ill or as someone who intentionally lacks the volition to conduct themselves like an adult. I personally believe it’s the latter. Fuck them

maybe there's something different about me but I like to think I have a natural talent for manipulation. I don't often indulge it on purpose. But i do seem to very aware of what rewards ill get for certain actions I do. I try to keep it in check constantly but I can't stop all of it. Some of it leaks out occasionally.

>Saying "love them harder and they'll be nice"

I don't actually think this is the right thing. Its just very complex and the problem is normal people see everything in too simple of a way.

Just don't break the rules of what I tell you I need when I'm relatively in control of my emotions and things will go smooth.

Just sucking up to me isn't what I want.

>why snow is cold

Its not actually the snows fault that it's cold. Under the right conditions that same h20 could be a warm relaxing bath.

I am referring to this line:
>Being loved, as in actually, properly cuddled, held close and all that other jazz

>talent for manipulation
I'm suspicious when I hear this, honestly. Most people with BPD I've met have been convinced they were secretly evil and corrupted because they're usually child abuse survivors.

But I hear what you're saying and maybe it is true. Everyone manipulates; maybe you really do do it maliciously or harmfully. I'd look at how much control over and responsibility for other people you actually have, though. Same as if you were trying to figure out whether someone else can "make" you do something or feel some way.

But I am corrupted.

Most people can't really influence me without me being aware of I think. Because I'm really paranoid and am suspect of everyone's motivations.

And maybe you're right. I don't usually do anything too malicious. Maybe charming and persuasive is the better words but it feels wrong for me to influence other's actions and choices so I actively try not to constantly.

What do you have to offer this world? Just being honest, you sound horrible. If you can't be loved and babied then you aren't responsible for your actions? What a horrible affliction you are, Not have.

BPD is not an excuse to be a shitty human being.
The worst, the absolute scum and shit of humanity: they all rationalize being the people they are.

>What do you have to offer this world?
probably a lot more than you if I'm being honest.

I don't think I'm a Kanye west or Bill Gates but I don't think it would be fair to compare me to an average Jow Forums user.

Fuck people like you. You'll end up raping whoever is naïve enough to take your shit.
t. Someone who dated a male with BPD

Person with some severe antisocial tendencies here. Don't associate us with BPD, it's not the same, we're actually respectable people(unless you're a minority) most of the time.

Is being bipolar so bad though?
I'm untreated and I'm generally fine to be around most of the time.

I don't hate people with leprosy, I hate leprosy, but I would not want to hang out with one ether, sorry, just doesn't make good times, skin flakes in the chip dip
Same with BPD.

Attached: thatsjustwhatjesussaid.jpg (574x480, 67K)

I don't /hate/ anybody, really. I dislike how poor health can turn somebody into a shitty person, but unless they directly influence my life I don't really give a shit.

The only actual problem I have with people that act obnoxious due to behavioral disorders is that I can't understand why they act the way they do 99% of the time. If I had infinite energy and patience it might be possible, but I don't, so that's that.

Attached: 1523287167508.gif (227x224, 11K)