Recently got broken up with by my girlfriend. She was so sweet, cute, caring, and open-minded. Towards the end of our relationship, she's made an new best friend I kind of know. He's a stereotypical hypebeast, and a bad boi. Since they've been hanging out with him a lot more, she's been petty, rude, and bitchy towards me, and ONLY me. After all the love I gave her, the care, contribution, and such, she treats me like this now. Instead of giving love back in return, like she used to. She's been sucking his dick 24/7, and bushes off what I wanna say. Been feeling suicidal, angry, sad, wanting to take other peoples lives, take mine, and I recently opened up to her about this. She just pretty much ignored me. Said "Ok", and bushed it off. Than went back to sucking his dick. This makes me feel like she wants nothing to do with me. I still want to be good friends with her, but Its hard to put up with this shit. Makes things worse, no matter how much I tell her how she's changed. Any advice my dudes?
Recently got broken up with by my girlfriend. She was so sweet, cute, caring, and open-minded...
DONT be friends
>Instead of giving love back in return, like she used to
Used to. You are obligated to absolutely NOTHING from her.
Being friends with someone who broke up with you is dumb in my eyes. Why do you want to be close to someone who doesn't want to be close to you?
You telling her she's changed will do nothing. She's changed. She's not going back to how she used to be, she's not going to go "user is right! I better stop doing this, and go back to X".
Move on.
Why would you want to be friends with such a cunt? Any person, man or woman, whose entire personality changes based on who they're hanging out with, is absolutely worthless.
Perhaps so. We broke up because it was too much pressure on her apparently. But she still wanted to be friends regardless
-OP
It's unfair to be in a position you don't want to be in. You don't owe her anything OP.
Have you tried reading or getting into any of the stoic philosophers, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius in particular. They can help explain many of the problems man face in their lives and can even help with controlling your feelings, especially towards others. After reading 'Meditations' (recommended by somebody here) i've started to understand myself and other people more and more. Learning that you can choose who to love but not be able to force them to love you in return can be a great help for most people in their life. You should check it out.
when you're friends with someone you kind of expect them to be caring and loving, I really don't think that's too much to ask for
I agree that in this situation the two shouldn't be friends but you can still acknowledge the way this makes OP feel
OP, move on for yourself, put her in the past, you don't need to be torturing yourself
It's the classic I'm such a nice guy, why did she throw me over for that asshole?
Because girls don't like nice guys. They like bad boys. Accept it and learn it and adjust you approach accordingly.
It's a tough lesson, but it's one that every guy who's not a natural asshole has to learn. You'll get over it and you'll be fine. Just learn not to put these fucking women up on pedestals where they really DON'T want to be.
>nice guy
>wanting to kill people
Seriously move on from her and why the fuck do you still want to be her friend for?
Have some pride and dont let her disrespect you like that. Delete her and block her from all your contacts and start over and get to know someone who actually fucking cares for you.
Like others have said before dont abide to her rules and move on she is only going to mock and hurt you even more. She probably enjoys the thoughts of playing you like a submissive dog. Please stand up for yourself and find someone else.
>Any advice my dudes?
Stop expecting things from your ex-girlfriend you moron. Your girlfriend breaks up with you then you dump a bunch of suicidal/homicidal whining on her and you're upset that she doesn't want anything to do with you? Grow up, my dude.
You have to be an utter moron to still be friends with her at this point.
lol i thought this too.
Being sad about a breakup is one thing. Wanting to murder people as an outlet for your rage is depraved, evil shit.
How about going back to school because this kind of grammar is unacceptable.
Op it's over. She's probably going nowhere in life and that's where the pressure came from. You're not gonna give a fuck in five years. Man up and get it out of your head. Call her a slut and and get over it. Yes like fucking message her and tell her she's a slut. Hell if she gets pissed enough you might be able to make her think it's cause she still wants you at which point fuck her in the ass and ghost her.
>fuck her in the ass and ghost her.
This
Yeah. All of this is true, and thank you all for helping me see this better. I really shouldn't be friends with her at this point. And yes, I'll probs won't. It's not that I was dumping suicidal/homicidal whining on her, it was feelings I had for a long time, and after the breakup, shortly before she became and asshole, I thought she would still be there for me, and to listen. gUeSs n0t. But yes mates, I agree with 75% of these replies. It's no use worrying over this. I SHOULD move on. I already have a small handful of good friends to look over me when I'm down, and I will be there for them, as well.
The only hard thing to do when I will break up our friendship, is to let go. We had been friends, good ones in fact, for quite some while. But hey, I have years and years to meet better people, who likely won't change their personality for some douchebag. As much as I would like to help her with her problems, I will not be her friend no longer now. Lastly, the homicidal thing, I've been worried about my thoughts lately, and I might get prescribed with a anti-depressant, or something like that to combat these thoughts. Don't wanna throw other peoples lives away, and mine. I have much to live for.
Anyways, thanks anons (Most of you). The decision is made.
-OP
>It's not that I was dumping suicidal/homicidal whining on her, it was feelings I had for a long time, and after the breakup
PROTIP: dumping your unresolved feelings on people instead of dealing with them on your own will ALWAYS drive people away. there isn't anything she can do about how sad or suicidal you are therefore the only point in telling her was to make yourself feel better therefore you were dumping on her. Don't do this shit anymore.
Right. That may have likely been my bad in a few ways. And I had tried to resolve those thoughts way before. But since we have a weapon in the house now, and with different shit in my mind taking astorm, I turned to her to help me calm down. But yeah, she also got pissed off at me for not being open enough with me about these feelings. So yeah, she isn;t worth to me much longer. I am very sure I can tame these suicidal thoughts now, and with the support of my better friends. Deciding to be her good friend until now, was a grave mistake.
-OP
>That may have likely been my bad in a few ways
No, 100% your bad. I'm not trying to crucify you here but you need to take responsibility for your shit.
>I am very sure I can tame these suicidal thoughts now, and with the support of my better friends
You need some professional help, not good friends. You need to understand that your friends and lovers can't be your stopgap. They can't be your therapist. If you're genuinely feeling suicidal/homicidal then you need to go see a professional, end of story. They will always teach you how to communicate with your friends and family about these issues without dumping on them and/or depending on them to keep you calm. That isn't good at all. It should never be anyone else's responsibility to maintain your mental health for you.
Well, yes. I do now see I am in the wrong for that. And I do take responsibility for it. And yes, depending on my friends and lovers as a secondary coping mechanism shouldn't always be a good thing at times. I might see a counselor. But I am certain I might take some anti-depressants or some shit. I;m only afraid of how my friends/family (My friends, not so much, but my family), will see me as I come out with these problems. I really hope I can get some professional help. OR maybe, these thoughts are just temporary. Time will tell. And thank you for getting my dumbass to realize this shit lmao. - OP
>I;m only afraid of how my friends/family (My friends, not so much, but my family), will see me as I come out with these problems.
Your family having an awkward adjusting period to your diagnosis is a very small price to pay for ensuring you don't kill yourself. Don't hesitate.
>And thank you for getting my dumbass to realize this shit lmao
No problem. Good luck, OP.
Damn dude. My first love broke up with me after a year of us being together. Apparently she stopped trying and i sensed it. I told her what's up and goes off telling me how we fucked up too much in our relationship and that she has to walk on eggshells whenever she talks to me. It's some petty shit but it sucks hella hard. Hell, this is the third time she broke up with me so i was already mentally prepared. I guess I should delete pics of her. AND it sucks because we were like the exact same person with minor differences.
Dont be her friend its not fucking worth it and try to look for yourself. Deep down you know you can do much better.