How do you know when an internet acquaintance actually thinks of you as a friend?

Ty for the constructive criticism. It really got me.

I didn't find any pills I took helped. And my therapist violated trust.

Oh and my health insurance also sucks major dick. Every doctor I was recommended by the customer service were for geriatrics or full up. Last doc I went to shrugged and told me to go to the hospital. Lol

OP here, I also just ghosted an abusive friend so offline friendships can end suddenly too. Point moot.

>abusive
Your friend hit you? Is this why you prefer online friendships?

Wanted to add, I was actually looking for a doc at that point and spent a good 2 weeks calling around the doctors in my area. I gave up because the receptionists were all animals.

If you can avoid it, don't get Cigna health insurance, bois.

Yeah. Hit me, made fun of me, got drunk and verbally bullied me, touched me when I didn't want to be touched, would put me in uncomfortable situations on purpose.

It was awful. I didn't give it much thought until my SO pointed it out and said it made him uncomfortable.

>I didn't find any pills I took helped
You weren't taking the right ones. It's a process to find what medication works for you and what dosage, and it's an ongoing process. There IS medication that will help you, depression is a biological illness, if you really find no pills do anything at all for you, even negatively, then chances are you don't have MDD and are just apathetic.

>Therapist violated trust
Genuinely doubt this. Did you tell your therapist you planned to kill yourself or something? It's in their job description to report that, it's illegal not to.

Sounds like your friendship with this kid had some lasting effects on you.

Maybe it's not the fact your online friends are gone but that you can't make IRL friends without fearing they'll end up like that one

Are you gay/bi? That honestly could have a lot to do with it, from the outside looking in, anyway

Also got she drunk and sexually harassed me but I didn't give that much thought either since she was always a freak and she never pushed for it. Never slept with her tho.

I have really bad side effects from the last pills that persist even after 3 years of discontinuation. I really don't want to go back.

Therapist talked explicitly about other clients and would message me on Facebook weird stuff. I just didn't like him.

Reality is harsh. I emphasized that by insulting you. Sorry about that dude.

Luv u XXX

You do realize you can change therapists right

literally just tell the check-in lady

No. I'm a straight woman. I've just always had bad luck with friendships. Ever since I was a kid. I think I'm just boring. I'm 5'2". Solid 6/10. 7 if I try hard. Don't really have much interests. Tried to share hobbies with others but I don't know what's wrong.

See I cannot fucking handle my shitty health insurance.

Boring and stupid. I must add.

Fuck, I joined a D&D game but it's over discord and my chest tightens every time I cue up. I try to tell myself everyone is ok with me but I spend the whole sesh wondering if I should just drop the call and drop out for good.

Actually, are you saying I could have made that request to the receptionist of that other doc and they would have given me a new one? This is the kind of stuff that needs to be told to patients.

>Actually, are you saying I could have made that request to the receptionist of that other doc and they would have given me a new one? This is the kind of stuff that needs to be told to patients.

Yeah it's one of the first things they are supposed to tell you, I've literally done it before. Sounds like you have some Peter Parker luck and managed to get a shifty Therapist. I would share that info with the management

try and meet some new people user. they aren't all so bad. they will hurt you, as is human nature, but the difference is they'll be sorry for it.

I don't even. I went to that therapist for almost a decade. I was so depressed and just didn't fucking care.

I don't even know where to start. I'm so fucking busy. I thought internet would be ok if I learned to keep my distance.

Fuck. I wasted my life.

I don't know how to do anything. I really should just fucking kms. Fuck this life and my shit IQ and my garbage genetics.

it's OK user. Stop. Breathe.

Today, do something you enjoy. Tell yourself before you go to bed tomorrow is going to be productive. Then tomorrow, call someone. A Doctor, a Therapist, a Suicide Hotline. Whoever you feel you need to at that moment.

But for now, stop, breathe, go and escape into your favorite form of media.

get irl friends

>suicide hotline
I'm OP and I tell everyone I meet not to call, at least in my zip code. Something happened in the last year that changed the entire setup of the hotline. They read scripts now and hang up on you if they just don't feel like dealing with you. Fucking tried to report one person who had the nerve to make a Hitler joke at me when I was suicidal.

How? You people keep telling me this but fucking HOW??

you have to be vulnerable. you might get hurt.

no one said it was going to be easy for you

Those are vague and unhelpful instructions. I'm an adult pushing 30. What do people my age who aren't in college even DO?

Where do you live? This sounds familiar to a friend of mine.

join a class, get a hobby
the usual stuff, user

I'm pushing 30 and most of my friends I met at the local neighbhood bar.

Virginia.

Ok. Thanks. All my problems are solved and my emotions and mentality are totally in check now. I also just won the lottery.

I can't drink. Unfortunately.

>telling a roastie to go to the bar to find friends

i never said that, they will def help you
it's not all of a sudden either, it'll take months

Are friends even necessary? Why the fuck should I waste time on people. I'm just assblasted because i thought i had friends and they left me. What if I just approach social interaction without intending to make friends.

I have hobbies. I'm not interested in new ones. Should I force myself to be interested?

what are your hobbies?
force yourself to join a class or workshop of something you like

Why

>I know friends drift apart

Stop you there. That's the answer. Go a little further and you'll also find out "not everyone likes you no matter who you are and sometimes you find yourself in a shitty group end of story
"

Don't develop trust issues user. I'm 30 and I moved a lot and changed friend circles a tonne. Trust me on this truth:

Sometimes everyone around you think you're a shining example of a human. Sometimes they think you're alright, and sometimes you're "that guy".

And most people are almost always trying their best to be nice to you regardless of how they feel and will drop it the moment they don't have to anymore.

Fact of life.

because you're desperate for friends
you make friends by having similar interests
a class is ideal for finding people with similar interests

you didn't answer the hobbies question