I feel very confused lately. My mentality has changed significantly over the course of the past 4 months. However the only thing that happened during this time that’s not typically for me is sex.
I had sex for a whole week at the end of March. Which that was the first time I’ve been intimate with anyone. But now in my personal and professional life, i feel like a mess. I have 0 confidence in things I felt confident about months earlier. I have anxiety, and just feel lost. As I said, the only thing that’s change is I had sex inbetween the change. Could it have rewired and fucked my brain?
>I had sex for a whole week at the end of March. Like continuously?
Thomas Evans
Well like 3-4x a day. But for 7 days in a row
Jose Campbell
Damn, beast!
Most times that people let their first sexual experiences seriously fuck them up, it's because they just hooked up with someone at random or hired a prostitute. The thing is, losing your virginity is more about the connection with the person than penetrative sex; obviously the latter is important, but the former is what kills that "virgin attitude".
Guys and girls can also get really weird if the sex was bad and they have a confidence/self esteem issue. Both guys and girls tend to blame themselves for things not working out well in bed, though, if you were getting in 3-4x/day for 7 days, there probably wasn't anything going wrong.
If you're a girl, might you have a UTI? That can have emotional effects.
Matthew Allen
More details needed. You a man, woman, other? One partner? Straight, gay, other? Someone you knew, a prostitute, random hookups? Was this person your SO or did he/her become your SO during/after this sex thing? Were there any hiccups during sex that are freaking you out?
Adrian Ward
Sounds like you're in denial. That's normal, though. Where did he touch you user?
Nathaniel Campbell
>Could it have rewired and fucked my brain? I'm just answering your limited question, presuming that the only thing that happened is that you had penetrative sexual intercourse, without presuming anything else good or adverse happened.
The answer would be "no". The mere act of having sex with a live partner is not on its own substantially different from masturbating. What makes a difference is the emotional connection to the partner, as well as your mental state going into it, your expectations, and the nitty gritty of what happened. But because your question is merely whether sex with nothing else would "rewire" your brain, the answer would be no.
Hudson Turner
I’m a guy, and it was with a girl I genuinely care about.
Well shit. Why do I feel like I have no confidence and have anxiety now? I didn’t have this a few months ago. But I only really started noticing it since I had sex.
Charles Martinez
Did the girl end things afterwards?
Daniel Wilson
No, she really likes me. She’s texting me right now infact
Mason Ramirez
>No, she really likes me. She’s texting me right now infact This is what's fucking you up. Not the fact that you had sex. You lack confidence with her for some reason and it's fucking you up.
Carson Smith
Well maybe your problem is that sex is so sensationalized by the media that the real thing just didn't measure up to the ideal you've built up in your head, or you're just overthinking your performance in bed and fearing that she'll leave you for someone else? Or maybe now that you've lost your V-card you feel as though there's nothing that sets you apart from others, and are being more critical of yourself as a result?
Kayden Long
>You lack confidence with her for some reason and it's fucking you up.
I don’t think SHE is the issue. My lack of confidence isn’t revolving around my relationship with her. My lack of confidence in other parts of my life is what’s dropped off.
I don’t feel confident at work anymore. I don’t feel confident doing jack shit
Brody Perez
Only thing I can think of is you got a nice dose of oxytocin for the week and now you are missing it.
Adrian Morgan
Could that fuck me up this much?
Evan Jones
Trust me, it's her. Whether she's a distraction or your lack of confidence with her is infecting the rest of your life. Your "relationship" with her is what's causing it, not the fact that you had sex.
Jaxon Moore
I don’t understand how that is
Xavier Anderson
Because that's the more complicated and ongoing thing. Sex is nothing. Any brain chemistry changes that occur from sex occurred when you first masturbated, because ejaculation is the primary culprit. The only reason "sex" with nothing else could "change you" is if you got a STD from her and it's affecting your brain already. I can tell you for a fact, merely having sex is just about meaningless to the vast majority of men. What makes the difference is the companionship and relationship that are attached to and evolve from that sexual contact. I mean, as you said, this was the first time you were intimate with another person. Now you're in a sort of relationship. Is she your girlfriend now? Or are you in limbo? How you've pussyfooted around the exact nature of your relationship with this girl in the thread so far speaks volumes about the complex you surely already have over this girl. Entering a relationship, whether it's open and declared or "on the cusp", is a complicated matter. It's very distracting. It's something that can distract you and cause you to build up a track record of failure in your everyday tasks that could take you a long time to recover from.
Samuel White
She’s my gf. We are in a LDR. But I really don’t see how that’s the issue here.
Owen Hill
Sometimes, if we are already prone towards depression and such due to low neurotransmitter levels, (or if life isn't really all that great, which can cause the same thing), a very high-intensity activity that releases a lot of serotonin and dopamine can deplete the lowered reserves.
This can cause things like post-coital dysphoria, post-con depression, etc. Your brain spends the reserves that it has, which leaves you basically unable to feel happy temporarily until the levels are restored.
It's the same reason why SSRI medications can take some time to work. They prevent your body from reabsorbing serotonin, but it still takes up to two months for it to come back.
You had a very intense week with some very intense highs. Even if this isn't a chemical issue, you probably crashed after you returned to your daily life, realizing that maybe you weren't as happy as you thought.
Give it time, you're okay. Sex doesn't really reprogram you like that. This problem is temporary, and it's entirely possible that it's not even related and you just connected it to the sex because it coincidentally happened after.
Take it easy. Try to keep things up as normal at work and remember that your intelligence and wisdom are unaffected. All you've lost is confidence; you're still just as competent. Be patient with yourself and try not to worry, and this will dissipate.
Nolan Green
Fuck. I just feel like shit lately. Maybe it is this “drug” aspect. I was doing really will beforehand. I feel fucking bad now tho
David Russell
>LDR Hahahhahahahahhaha that explains a LOT.
Luke Cooper
Perhaps it's a sign that something else in your life needs to change?
It's not bad to be that happy and to have that much fun. It's fantastic that you did. But maybe other parts of your life need to be adjusted to keep up now that you have a new standard for what happiness feels like.
Anthony Rogers
Yes. What happened with the girl?
Samuel Evans
I’m not sure desu
She’s my gf now
Leo Roberts
>She’s my gf now Oh wasn't expecting that. I thought she left you or something. I didn't have sex but a girl I liked reciprocated with me and she sent me vids and pics of herself and we had a long distance relationship for awhile before she split with me right before we were going to meet up. I have felt like I'm coming down off a high and crashing hard. I don't know what's up with your situation though. Maybe it's because I didn't have sex so I can't really relate and perhaps sex would make me more self conscious.
