I'm panicking right now over something that happened in 2014 and I'd like your advice please. Basically in early 2014 when I was 22 / 23 I was working a part-time job in a bar. A girl working there - an actress - my age found my number and asked me on a date, so I went.
We ended up going on like three dates, and then we made out (at her initiation) and one night she invited me over her place so we could have sex. I was a virgin and basically lost my erection after putting on a condom. I tried to masturbate in bed beside her to get erect but failed, and in the end she disappeared into her bathroom for like 15 minutes so I dressed and left.
>in the end she disappeared into her bathroom for like 15 minutes so I dressed and left. Wow, way to go dude. She probably blamed herself.
Jonathan Hill
Anyway, so at the time I was extremely lonely and had been for years. I felt like shit for fucking things up with the girl and text her a couple of times but she answered in a short, friendly way which showed no further interest. Eventually I wrote her a one-page letter (handwritten) and posted it through her letterbox. I don't remember all that it said, but it included me saying that I am a private person and ended by me wishing her luck in the future. A few months later she text me asking me something but I had deleted her number because I didn't want to accidentally call her (I have an old fashioned phone) and when I text back checking it was her, she became very hostile because I'd deleted it. I text her explaining why, but she didn't respond. Then several months later I get another text from her asking if I've moved places. I said yes and hoped her acting career was going well. She text me again asking if I liked who I was living with, but I didn't respond. After checking her twitter I found that she had made it private, which kind of scared me.
I'm panicking right now because I fear that one day she might post my letter to her on social media. It is cringey as fuck, and my name is quite rare so anybody searching me online will find nothing but what someone posts about me on social media. I know that girls at a certain age can become very resentful and vengeful if their lives haven't turned out the way they wished. Although I didn't do anything really wrong here (ethically) I obviously embarrassed myself by writing a very cringey letter to this girl, who I know has shown it to her friends (she was that kind of person) and who I fear might one day post online for whatever reason.
Dominic Gray
>I fear that one day she might post my letter to her on social media. It is cringey as fuck, and my name is quite rare so anybody searching me online will find nothing but what someone posts about me on social media. Not bloody likely. She’s been reaching out to you, talking normally. Honestly odds are she’s thrown away the letter or shoved it in a drawer. She hasn’t framed it. If she hasn’t posted it by now she’s not gonna. It’s creepy as fuck for her to keep ahold of it that long.
Michael Watson
I should give more context:
>I was a shy virgin who text her after our first date asking if she was sure wanted to spend more time with me
>she was an outgoing, confident, experienced girl who had previous lovers etc
>during our second date she came back to my apartment and her ex-boyfriend (who she hooked up with in the months after we split) called her at like midnight because he had been tracking her phone's location somehow and was pissed at her not being in her home
>during our first night of kissing etc, she climbed into my bed and invited me to join her, I then praised her for having a symmetrical face, and kissed her neck, stomach and face and said she was pretty
>on the night of my failed erection, we had already kissed for some time, with me having an erection and her feeling it through my trousers, and after I failed it was clear things were awkward and she took her phone into the bathroom for like 15 minutes while I lay sweating and feeling like shit
>merely hours after failing to maintain an erection, I text her apologizing and saying I hadn't been in bed with a girl for a long time
>in the weeks after that night she no longer showed the kind of intense interest she had in me before (several texts a day etc) and responded to my needless questions with brief replies
Nicholas Kelly
I’m telling you she blamed herself. This is how women think. The guy doesn’t get hard or loses his erection, it’s because she’s not hot enough. It doesn’t matter how much of a loser you are—in fact, you being a huge loser means you should find her irresistible.
Women blame themselves when their men can’t get hard.
Hunter Walker
The thing is that she is that type, as her last serious boyfriend (not the guy who stalked her via an app) had beaten her several times and she was obsessed with him and told me he was "the one" for her. I just know she is the type of person to keep mementos from her past, as she showed me this massive scrapbook she had of various items she kept from the past (notes from friends etc, cards, photos etc). No way she has thrown that shit away.
Also, the last time we texted was in 2015, and I was the one who was now being distant and disinterested, mainly because I really no longer felt anything for her and didn't want to waste either her or my time. But I know that her career in acting has not taken off like she hoped, and I also know that a lot of girls in her situation become very bitter and vengeful in their late 20s and become extreme feminists who try to bring guys down etc, or who try and get attention any way they can, e.g. by posting cringe shit online.
Joshua Thompson
this.
Also - a tip if you feel like that letter is something shameful or cringy, something that no one must know. The best way to get rid of that pressure is simply sharing it as fun story to you friends "listen how i fucked up recently". I always do that when i go drinking. If you wear your weakness as an armor, no one can use it against you...
Aaron Morgan
Well ok then, but it's not like I treated it that way or showed less interest in her. In fact I apologized for it being my fault and showed obvious interest in wanting to know her still, which she politely rebuffed IMO.
Also, she was very "hot" and knew she could get laid easily. She was also experienced, sexually. And she also insisted we have sex, and kiss etc with the lights off, meaning it's not as if I saw her nude body and recoiled, since I couldn't see shit and even missed her vagina hole when I did manage to get erect since I was basically prodding in the dark.
Connor Nelson
I should perhaps make clear that I wrote and posted that letter in early 2014, so it's not something recent. I just hate that someone out there has something which they could use at any point to ruin my character if they so chose.
Mason Flores
She threw it away dude, you were supposed to be a cheap lay for her and you embarrassed her. That’s why she went cold; seeing you reminded her of her embarrassment. Seeing your letter does the same.
Even if she didn’t, who gives a shit? You were how old? Early 20s? WHO CARES? How fucking fragile are you that you’ve never done something cringeworthy online before, but would be broken to pieces if someone embarrassed you?
Seriously. She posts it, she’s the bitch. And you can just say, “Ugh, I was drunk when I did that, lol. So embarrassing. I really had a thing for her. I’m glad I’ve grown since then.”
Jason Rivera
OP here. Thanks for the replies.
Another thing is that I panicked so much at her place that I also tore off the condom in the bathroom and left it in the small bin beside her toilet. Now I may be being paranoid but I am fucking sure she not only found it but also kept it for some reason along with the letter.
Hudson Brown
>Well ok then, but it's not like I treated it that way or showed less interest in her. In fact I apologized for it being my fault and showed obvious interest in wanting to know her still, which she politely rebuffed IMO. You made it 100x worse by drawing attention to it. And she reacted just how I’d expect. You made her feel ugly.
The rest of the shit you’re blathering about is stupid excuses trying to explain how she couldn’t have possibly felt disrespected or ugly. This is a chick who fucks random dudes like you. She keeps a trophy gallery like you said. She isn’t exactly stable. My ex did the same stupid shit, could get any guy she wanted, but got all freaked out over shit like this.
Jaxson Evans
You’re out of your skull. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. If she does this, she’d have posted your stupid letter already. And she has a fuckton of issues.
Grow up and move on dude.
Eli Thomas
Do you think I was in the wrong then?
As I said, I was very inexperienced and self-critical and I did apologize right afterwards and wasn't mean to her or anything. I felt like she was the one who was turned off by my insecurities which is why she replied to me several texts with sort of distant responses which didn't lead to further conversation etc.
Leo Foster
Create a fake letter "from her" to counter it if she does post your letter.
Luis Garcia
so you change the intro to "hey guys i gotta share how i embarrassed myself once...." that makes no difference. The point is:
1. you unload that pressure. 2. you control how it is presented, so you can even make it a bit funny 3. people you care about will know, so even if someone tells them in malice, they won't be surprised. 4. no one is going to laugh behind your back at you.
> Now I may be being paranoid but I am fucking sure she not only found it but also kept it for some reason along with the letter.
lol wtf, just stop overthinking.
no need, wasted effort imo.
Kevin Russell
Not at all, you can’t control your erection. You just made it a lot worse lol
Sebastian Powell
This is stupid. Don’t be a forger.
Jaxson Butler
The obvious counter theory is she was simply so frustrated she went into the bathroom to rub one out.
Camden Wilson
She might’ve. She still blamed herself. This is how young women interpret impotence.
Jayden Gomez
And let everyone think that OP is a limp-dicked faggot? Better to make everyone believe that his girl is an avid partaker of bestiality and masturbating with strangers' used tampons.
Ryder Richardson
I mean, they already know most likely. It’s not like it isn’t obvious from how this dude talks.
Adam Hernandez
OP here. She took her phone into the bathroom, and I'm pretty sure she went in there to text her friend about how embarrassing things were. I know she had several friends, but one of them was very sluttish (she gave a guy at her workplace a rimjob after their first date, I was told) and when I text the girl a few days after I fucked up, she responded by apologizing for not replying sooner since she and her friend had spent the entire weekend in her flat eating pizza and "catching up". I just knew she had spilled the beans on my failed erection, but I imagine she was in the bathroom like telling people about it. I did knock the door and say "Hey, I think I'd better go" after I'd gotten dressed, and she almost immediately opened the bathroom door and said "oh, uh, no, don't go!" and then watched me leave without protesting further.
Jackson Rogers
God you’re like a bad teen romance novel.
Aiden Wilson
Do you honestly care what a whore who buries her face in an old man's shit-caked anus thinks of you?
Jeremiah Davis
dude, stop. you're pissing us all off.
Ryan Sullivan
You should only stress out about things in your control OP. Stressing out about a project at work is good stress, it can motivate you. Stressing out about a letter in someones house is bad stress, it can't motivate you to action.
