>qt azn chick >not the ones from here in america, who are either sjw nightmares, or the "kawaii ^_^" type who binge on anime and korean soap operas >from a legit asian country >kind of looks like pic related >very nice and sweet >one of the nicest people you'll ever meet >only girl I've met in my life who didn't treat me like absolute garbage >has a boyfriend, but what did we expect? >strangely don't see him around enough >anyway, qt still goes out of her way to talk to you >whether in person (we're in college), on facebook, text messages; she likes to get in touch with you without anything to prompt her >sometimes she'll go dark for months at a time, where you hear nothing from her >always end in her finally getting back in touch, apologizing for going dark, and providing whatever reason she had >enough so for there to be a pattern of behavior >and even then, still *really* goes out of her way to contact you >always randomly asking how you are, what you've been up to, what are you doing; all without prompt or context >I literally don't know anyone else who does this.
Again, I don't get her. Even my friends are curious about her behavior when I either mention this or show them text messages. Neither of us can figure her out, or know a single soul who does this. The only time they would is if they had romantic feelings for you. But she has a boyfriend, and a million of other friends, so I doubt that highly.
>Again, I don't get her. Even my friends are curious about her behavior What you're describing is being friends with a woman. Seriously, you and all of your friends couldn't figure this out?
Justin Kelly
That shit's way too friendly, and coming on way too strong, for just a friends thing. We're not like that with each other. We're not like that with our other friends, even if female. And we've never met a single a person who's like that unless romantically interested.
Landon Thomas
no, this is way too far than I would go with any of guy friends (or my girl friends for that matter). she could be just unusually friendly. but some of her behaviours are too intimate for a platonic relationship
Jose Baker
>That shit's way too friendly, and coming on way too strong Can you explain to me how being nice to a person, periodically remaining in contact and asking genuine questions about how you are and what you are doing is coming on too strong? Also, she goes months without speaking to you. Is that coming on too strong too? You don't have a lot of social awareness do you?
Isaac Gray
>some of her behaviours are too intimate for a platonic relationship Please list one intimate behavior that OP mentioned. Unless you classify checking in every couple of months to see how he's doing as intimate I didn't see any.
Jacob Davis
You just made a female friend. They're always thirsty for attention like that.
Angel Young
>Can you explain to me how being nice to a person, periodically remaining in contact and asking genuine questions about how you are and what you are doing is coming on too strong? Because you are investing yourself more into their lives than they are presumably to yours by doing that. You're placing yourself more into it than is appropriate for friends. And crossing a number of personal boundaries that, again, are inappropriate unless something more is going on. Unless you're romantically involved, this is more stalking behavior than it is nice and friendly.
>Also, she goes months without speaking to you. Is that coming on too strong too? That's what strikes out the most. You either keep in touch with them continually, or you don't. Going periods of time without being in touch and randomly reappearing is weird and violating the person's boundaries.
Jayden Morris
the amount of interest she's showing is very intimate, and more what you would do with a spouse or family, not your friends. friends keep it casual, and not go out of their way unless in exceptional circumstances.
Nolan Walker
>You're placing yourself more into it than is appropriate for friends. And crossing a number of personal boundaries that, again, are inappropriate unless something more is going on. You just said a bunch of nothing and didn't answer my question. Could you possibly mention anything specific that crosses personal boundaries? I'd really love for you to explain to me how hitting you up to see how you're doing on a bi-monthly basis is evidence of romantic intent because I'm just not seeing it. >You either keep in touch with them continually, or you don't. Going periods of time without being in touch and randomly reappearing is weird and violating the person's boundaries. Again, I get the impression you're very young or you don't have many friends. Going periods of time without being in touch and randomly appearing again is kind of how casual adult friendships work. I have this exact same friendship with about 8 people I went to high school/college with. Its called being an adult and having a life.
Ethan Gray
You know, Alina Li is absolutely gorgeous, but I just noticed that her skull is kind of weirdly shaped...
Ryan Cruz
>the amount of interest she's showing is very intimate Please explain to me how going months at a time without speaking and then saying hello how are you is intimate. I'd really like a specific answer and not just you repeating yourself with different wording. >friends keep it casual, and not go out of their way unless in exceptional circumstances. Please explain to me how hitting someone up on your smart phone is going out of your way.
Jordan Thomas
>Could you possibly mention anything specific that crosses personal boundaries The amount of perceptible investment and care you're showing to the other person is crossing personal boundaries. That's not relegated to specific acts or examples, but by how much you're giving to the other person and how much of an expenditure you're providing with very little foreseeable redress. Especially if involving somebody who's neither family nor lover. That's inappropriate for friendships, and more comparable to stalking.
It's called social dynamics and understanding non-verbal cues and relationships. Might want to look those up. :/
Noah Martinez
>Please explain to me how going months at a time without speaking and then saying hello how are you is intimate. because you likely don't have a relationship with that person to warrant it. if this was your boyfriend, it would warrant it. if this was your mom and dad. it would warrant it. if this was a childhood friend, it might warrant it, but under conditions. but for a friend, especially a guy friend who you hadn't know for that long, is overdoing it and stepping into territories not yet acceptable for that relationship.
>Please explain to me how hitting someone up on your smart phone is going out of your way. see above. because your relationship with that person probably doesn't appropriately allow that.
Zachary Cook
Holy shit, first off, she is a FOB, so do you really think she knows or cares about the American social intricacies when it comes to crossing personal boundaries, or all the details related to the appropriate amount of time to check up on someone and whether that constitutes as coming on too strong or not?
Most FOBs that I know are very friendly like this too. Their time in America is limited and they want to make as many friends as possible.
The worst thing that could happen is her 'boyfriend' is actually an older white sugar daddy, so she keeps talking to you because she wants to be in a normal relationship.
Ryan Brown
It seems pretty normal. Most of my friends and I are not in touch continuously, but sometimes every few weeks we hit each other up and ask how we've been doing. We chat for a couple of days, and then that's it.
It seems like you're reading way too much into it, there's nothing to "figure out". She's being kind.
I have a lot of women for friends, and none of us would act like this with each other. One party would think the other is hitting on them. Hell, if it were my guy friends, it'll end in a fist fight. That kind of friendliness is a lot more than you would give for *most* friendships; the kind where you've known each all your life, and would pick as the best man/bridesmaid to your wedding. For simpler friendships like what OP is describing, it is kind of weird; especially if it's confusing his other friends. Mostly because OP and the girl don't sound particularly close.
Lincoln Jenkins
Probably it is a cultural thing. But in most parts of the world, there's nothing weird about catching up with someone you're friends with every few months, even if you're not super close.
Oliver Thompson
>But in most parts of the world, there's nothing weird about catching up with someone you're friends with every few months, even if you're not super close. That's quite a Eurocentric viewpoint there, breh.
