Why can't I come up with even one thing that I'm decent at?

Why can't I come up with even one thing that I'm decent at?
I'm bad at literally everything I can think of, here are some examples
>gaming, i get extremely competitive and easily angry, i learn slow, i don't perform well in any genre
>drawing, grew up with, decided that i'm never going to improve and garbage and i'll never try again
>boxing, or exercise/training/sports at all
>walking, i look fucking goofy
>math, i need a calculator for anything that would count as being good at math
>staying calm, mature
>having friends
>being social
>getting out of bed
>getting rested
>work/my job
>being interested, or pretending to be

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I think you're just depressed user. What's been going on lately? Have you felt this way for a long time, or do you remember feeling happy?

That is a very difficult subject for me to understand, user. I've been contemplaining the idea that I'm depressed for at least a decade, even been with psychologists and taken meds and all that jazz.
What I mean is, I don't know if I am or if it matters. Talking to professionals doesn't help because I'm too ignorant or stubborn or forgetful, it's been a huge money dump before and got me nowhere. Same thing with multitudes of different SSRIs over a 5-6 year period; I quit taking any a couple of months ago because they literally do nothing to my body or mind, and I didn't even feel a single change after I abruptly quit them. I feel the same today as when I was heavily medicated.

What's been going on is that I just perform badly at whatever I try to do. Like, say, games. I play with my brother or solo, pretty much never otherwise. He's incredibly good at almost every game he plays, for example in shooters he almost never goes below 4k/d, often higher. And while he doesn't seem to give even the ittiest shit about how badly I perform (in comparison, I range anywhere between 0.5k/d and about 2.5k/d every fifty matches or so when lucky), it still makes me thoroughly sick in my mind and stomache that I can't even compare with him. It makes it sufferingly boring for me because I expect it to be boring for him to always have to carry me.
But I rage at singleplayer games too. Like the latest God of War on PS4, I would mostly plow through the game, but there would be the occasional pack of enemies or a boss that would be completely garbage bullshit dickface scumfuck shitbitch and would enrage me so hard that I started punching myself for being a god damn unskilled loser. But eventually I did beat the game. This is just how I play some games nowaday I guess. Either they're too easy or too infuriating, and I rarely derive joy from playing.

hi, user.

>not all games are competitive, and there really is room for improvement. just because you learn slowly doesn't mean you don't learn. also, have you really tried ALL genres of vidya?
>i'm trying to learn how to draw currently, and it really takes practice. you will improve, if you decide to work it out for a while if you don't think you have the talent. start from basic things like spheres and shading and go up from there, i guess. there are lots of tutorials available on the web.
>i don't sports, but again, with time, you can be good at something. there's a study about how simply visualizing an action for a set amount of time will help you do the action irl just as well as actually practicing the aforementioned action.
>work on your posture if you like. i hunch my back because my manboobs show if i stand up straight fml
>again, practice. i suck at math, too, but you got internet, obviously. there is a myriad of tutorials all over the web that can help you solve faster with a pen and paper, or even just your mind.
>idk, i got temper issues so we on the same boat. or lake.
>you don't need a lot of friends. a handful of people you can count on is enough, imo, but shit's subjective as hell.
>too vague, how social do you want to be
>that too; if you think that something is hindering you from getting a good night's sleep or something, i think you should go see your doctor.
>not working yet so...
>just think about what the other person would think if you showed disinterest, and throw in some info you know about what he/she is talking about or doing if you have some

these are from my experience. being the introverted, untalented, and fat faggot i am, this is a lot of bullshit. hope this bullshit helps.

Holy fuck, are you me?
Standing by this thread for advice as well.

Lose some weight. Most of your problems are from depression. Most of the shit youre mad about doesn't fucking matter.

Some guys are just average at everything. It's not so bad. Try to relax.

>these are from my experience. being the introverted, untalented, and fat faggot i am, this is a lot of bullshit. hope this bullshit helps.

user, when you talk or write about yourself like that the real you is listening, paying attention, and believing every word of it.

I don't even feel average. I feel bad. I'm bad. I'm not good, I'm not average, I'm not even decent enough to not be made fun of. I'm just plain bad.

>the real you is listening, paying attention, and believing every word of it.

am i even real?

>am i even real?

Who knows user? I can make a good argument for the value of being below average at everything except the ability to get along with people. If you can do that you can wander through life blissfully unaware working as a janitor or something.

It's not a matter of getting around, it's about getting satisfying results. Being below average, even being average, is boring or meaningless. It isn't entertaining to get your ass handed to you over and over and over with no chance of improvement. It isn't even interesting to win for the sake of winning, because ANYONE can cheese and abuse until they win.
The only victory that counts is the one where you alone are personally dominating the match, but with a twist: it still doesn't count if your opponents don't pose a challenge, so dominating against literal beginners is as boring as losing.

i don't get along with a lot of people, but i just know how. i've done it a few times, but that's about it. for OP, though, he gotta step up his game

I never said I don't get along with people. I just don't find it even a slimmer of enjoyable to be around people more than necessary, I have nothing meaningful to add to conversations, people don't interest me period. I have no friends because I excessively despise myself and automatically assume that anyone else would too, so the instant someone tries to connect with me I immediately stop.
But I get along with people. Coworkers and customers alike seem to respect me, they miss me if I'm gone, they enjoy my company etc. But I want nothing more than to get away from there with every fiber of my soul, I'm putting up a show at the level of a completely different personality.

i understand, op. but if you don't find socialization as fun as others would, then you shouldn't worry too much. i have been too ashamed of myself (physical appearance, mannerisms, etc) to converse with people and also assume that others would be ashamed of myself as well. but i wanted to do it. if you don't want to, you don't have to. it's a matter of preference, methinks.

>Coworkers and customers alike seem to respect me, they miss me if I'm gone, they enjoy my company etc.

This is your great talent user. You are able to get along with others while you want to get the fuck away from them. I can't do this. You're an actor user. You should join the local theater troupe. Maybe move to Hollywood. Become a star. You could be a mysterious reclusive star, sort of a Michael Jackson without the pedo part.

I'm not an actor. I'm a liar, a scoundrel, a thief. I'm dishonest, I'm scum, and I end up ruining every single relationship ever. That's why I want to escape as soon as I can every single day, but at the same time I wouldn't have a job if I wasn't able to lie and cheat my way through peoples' hearts. I do it to survive and I hate myself for it.

>thief
>ruins relationships

are you a hunk op

What, no. Even in appearance I'm below average. If I wasn't a lazy, unmotivated, depressed piece of trash I'd workout and diet until I finally became comfortable with my body. I've procrastinated doing this for over two decades. Sometimes I get started, I exercise for a week, I eat healthy, I even see the weight drop. Then I find an excuse to immediately, on a whim, give up for no reason. And then it takes me months to give it a try again.

at least you even try to lose weight. i can't even find the will to get out and jog. but from what you've said, you have something not a lot of people have. appreciate it, and go from there. i already told you that there's room for improvement, and that encompasses all the negative traits you've mentioned for yourself.

>I wouldn't have a job if I wasn't able to lie and cheat my way through peoples' hearts. I do it to survive and I hate myself for it.

See? It's like I said user. You are literally an actor. You are star material.

What do you mean I have? The ability to hurt people without letting them know until it's too late?

>

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>Sometimes I get started, I exercise for a week, I eat healthy, I even see the weight drop. Then I find an excuse to immediately, on a whim, give up for no reason. And then it takes me months to give it a try again.

OK user. TIme to get serious.

Then just give up. I mean it. Quit forcing yourself to do shit you do not want to do. Wait. Wait until your fucking brain forces you to do something. Work on accepting that you are a fat useless lying deceitful cheating incompetent goofy uncoordinated lazy fuck. Did I leave anything out? Just work on accepting it.

One of two things will happen.

1) You will grown to accept your useless lying deceitful cheating etc self.

2) You will become so disgusted with your seless lying deceitful cheating etc self that you will find the motivation to change - or commit suicide.

Take up meditation. It will help force you towards a denoument, which will end up being an effortless synthesis of 1 and 2

the ability to have strangers actually miss you, but i'll just assume that you think you're lying, cheating, and dishonest because you're wearing a mask.

>What do you mean I have? The ability to hurt people without letting them know until it's too late?

I mean that most actors lie and cheat their way into peoples hearts and despise themselves for it. Look at the lives they lead.

>the etcs
Actually made me grin a little.
Well I don't plan on suicide. But giving up sounds like an equivalent? If I don't try to make myself a person that doesn't suck, how am I supposed to begin accepting the good me I could be if I wasn't useless?

Meditation huh. Like buddha stuff?

Sure, some people out there suffer despite being billionnaires with everything they could ever dream of achieving completed in life. If I had a couple of billion I could actually be useful to the few people I don't hate.

>Meditation huh. Like buddha stuff?

Yeah user. Buddha stuff.

I mean that was just the only thing that came to mind. Sitting there with your legs crossed and "ahummmmmm"?
Does that stuff actually help anyone? It just seems silly, like a religious thing you do to please a statue in the east.

Try the ability to suck dick for a change
XD

I believe in you user

Find a role model or someone to be inspired by. Read some books. This could help.

>I mean that was just the only thing that came to mind. Sitting there with your legs crossed and "ahummmmmm"?
>Does that stuff actually help anyone? It just seems silly, like a religious thing you do to please a statue in the east.

Never mind. Try sucking dicks like the other guy suggested. I think you'll be really good at it. There's your skill for you

Thought as much, namefag.

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