I'm fucked, P2

Continuing on from my previous thread because it got archived:

''It's around that time of year when I get a dose of seasonal depression, (ironic, since it's the brightest time), and it's hitting me hard, but I prefer to keep it to myself.

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now, we'd twice broken up around this time of year the past two other years, because of the sudden distance I create from this depression. I can feel the distance getting bigger again, but I don't want to take a break from him. It breaks my heart to put him through that emotional stress. He knows about the seasonal depression, but he doesn't know that I feel barely any affection towards him during this time period.''

Update to that statement, I've since told my partner that I don't feel any affection, but he still wants to make things right & help me through it. I've resorted to alcohol to help me deal with this. Someone in the previous thread said I should either get therapy & remain monogamous with my boyfriend, (as I've been tempted to split with my boyfriend & sleep around just to feel something), or break up for good. Problem is, I've already been to a therapist and I was told I was a spergie. It isn't severe, it just affects me emotionally and how I express how I feel for the most part, which only contributes to how badly I'm dealing with this. I don't want to split with my boyfriend either, we've been planning our future together and basically live our lives together as a long-term engagement, waiting until the time is right to be officially married. I'm 18, to give perspective to that fact.

What do?

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Decide if you want to stay and stop creating emotional distance. Empty sex isn't going to solve your problems.

I do want to stay, but the emotional distance is subconscious, I can't help it most of the time. All I want to do is stop feeling this way, but nothing's working. I only feel guilty when my boyfriend showers me in affection.

Just as it was stated in your last thread... Dump him and get a different boyfriend. Beating around the bush and rehashing the same thread isnt going to help shit.

I can't just get a new boyfriend just willy nilly. I generally don't like people, so finding someone I'd be willing to commit a relationship would be difficult. My boyfriend fits my personality like a glove, and he even helped me improve myself, but just times like these make it difficult for me to feel happy. Plus, the only other guy I've found interest in lives in an entirely different country.

bump

Its pretty obvious whether you want to admit or not... You're bored with your current boyfriend and boredom in many cases leads to depression. He may fit your personality like a glove but is that what you really wanted, No.. You want excitement and drama. You want someone who keeps you on your toes... So like it was suggested before, get a new boyfriend. Or Atleast release this current one and think about it. Stop making excuses. Eventually it will all lead to this.

What gave you the indication that I want to be with someone that can give me excitement & drama? I like to live quite comfortably, without any problems. I'm not a fan of arguing, and whenever me and my boyfriend ever did argue, it was mostly just a civil discussion about an issue that'd be solved in minutes. I may be bored of the relationship, but the thought of him being with someone else makes me sick to the stomach, that's why I can't be without him.

I've seen people like you before and you don't want help. You literally argue with every piece of advice given to you. Your situation will never get better. Good luck with your boring relationship which will lead to a future divorce.

If I didn't want help, I wouldn't have started this thread in the first place. I'm only questioning the advice that was given to me to find a proper solution.

No, you're looking for the answer you want to hear. You're not actually looking to solve the problem. So you're going to continue to ask for "help/advice" till you find the answer you want to hear. Blindly and purposely overlooking the real solution.

You're right. Irregardless, I still can't go with the decision of breaking up with my boyfriend for good, either. I feel like my life isn't worth living if I'm not with him, because I don't have anyone else.

Im a new user
So what do you want, exactly, during your seasonal depression? What surroundings, what kind of activity?

I'm not entirely sure. For activities, I think I just want to meet new people, or even continue talking to my currently new friend. I've never had sex with anyone other than my boyfriend, so maybe I want to experience being intimate with someone new? I don't know. I don't really know who I am during this time period.

For surroundings, I think I just want to stay comfy and safe, live as I usually would. Maybe go to the bar during the weekends. I genuinely don't exactly know what I want.

So basically what you're saying is "I know what the problem is and I know how to fix it, but I'm not willing to do that". No one can help you if you can't help yourself.

Yeah, basically. I guess I'll just have to shut my brain off until I get past this depression.

>I'm not entirely sure. For activities, I think I just want to meet new people, or even continue talking to my currently new friend. I've never had sex with anyone other than my boyfriend, so maybe I want to experience being intimate with someone new?
Just break up with your boyfriend permanently, if you're the kind of person who is going to resent sleeping with only one person then you aren't mean to marry him, and if you aren't going to marry him then break it off sooner than later so he can find someone who wants to do so

It's not that I resent having sex with my boyfriend, it's seems alright to me. The problem is that I don't know exactly if it's alright or not, because I never got the chance to fully go out in the playing field.

Again it comes back to a boring relationship, when what you actually want is excitement. And this was stated at the beginning of this thread.

Resent not having sex with others*
Break up and go play the field, otherwise you'll both end up single parents in 10 years. It's how this story plays out almost every single time, and if you don't think it can happen to you then you're mistaken.

Again, I never said I want excitement. I just want experience & knowledge.

We both don't intend on having children, and I'll be thinking of getting tubal ligation as early as possible, so the concept of me being a loser single parent goes out the window. As for the breaking up part, once I collect my data & realise I'd be better off to stay with my boyfriend, what would I do then?

Then go to fucking college and get help for your fucking borderline personality Jesus fucking christ.

Then fine! Call it what you will. Its the complete opposite of boring which is what you're stuck in now. Go find a guy with "experience and knowledge".

Then? There is no then. Now you're a single woman because you decided having sex with someone other than your boyfriend was more important than being with your boyfriend.

I don't have BPD. I've only been officially diagnosed with Asperger's.

Unless that was just a jab at me, then ignore that, hehe.

Ah. You gave me foresight, thank you. I think I'll stay with my boyfriend.

See, just looking for the answer you wanted to hear. Gtfo of advice if you never actually wanted help in the first place. Hopefully you never procreate. The world needs less people like you.

As a man who shared losing his virginity with the woman he is marrying, I think you're making the right decision OP. I have no regrets.

That's the whole point of tubal ligation, my friend. Hopefully my sterilisation lets you sleep at night.

Thank you for wasting everyone's time.

No problem! Thanks for engaging in my thread.