What is love?

she is a little chubby, yes. Short and asian.

Love is what said basically, it's pretty obvious when you're feeling it since it's your gut that pushes you to do these things.
I've experienced the real kind of love twice already, and it was unreciprocated both times leaving me with intense hurt. It's a curse, if anything, be glad you haven't felt this already, edgy, but true.

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Yeah love is when you work your ass off for someone else without any expectations.
It sucks when you love the wrong person.

Sex with someone you enjoy spending time with and have known a bit is superdiddly fucking amazing. Fuck each other's brains out and maybe you'll stop being such a shallow cunt.

>I told her to 'not let me lead her on.'
Eh. That’s pretty ambiguous. I think you need to be clearer.

>Is it ok not to date someone you'd think you're compatible with just because you don't think they are attractive?
yes. sexual intimacy is an important ingredient in committed romantic relationships.

there's a name for people we connect with but aren't physically attracted to: friends.

as long as you're honest with her about the way you feel and don't lead her on, there's nothing for you to feel worried or guilty about.

Dont do it user. Im in an eerily similar situation right now but im pretty confident its better not to advance any more - in fact im cutting it off.
Its natural to be interested in someone just because they are interested in you. But succumbing to it, imo, is not going to work long term.
Physical attraction is an important part of a relationship.

You guys are so fucking shallow. Only attracted to women who are mean to you, as if she's got some mysteriously glorious pie hole that's any different from another woman's. Sooner or later the chemicals from that woman will wear off and you'll go inquire about your "friend," and either use her as an emotional tampon if she's nice, or start to like her more if she isn't after she's tired of your bullshit. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

im confused as to what you're trying to say here

He's basically saying that he better do something and not regret later when she fucking moves on and forgets about this beta cuck.

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>what is love?

True love is not something we can achieve, give, qualitate or quantify. True love is like a fountain that gives flow and life to everything. It is unattainable, yet we are born out of it. When we search it, it runs away from us. When we give up the search, it comes back. It cannot be stored, for it has very minute lifespan, it must be enjoyed as it comes, as new moment of love is born out of itself. As a metaphor, imagine a gust of wind that has been caught in a jar. Everything that was that wind, is still in the jar, it still exists, but it is now dead, empty. In the same manner, if i try to catch it, it dies. In essence, the very moment there is someone to have it, it is gone. There is no one to have it, but we can be it. We only need to step aside and let it happen. Usual human condition is to be surrounded by love, and happiness. And in that happiness we are searching for it. We are like fish who are searching for water.

So you mean it's like the Tao?

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I think all mystical traditions and filosophies and roots of religions stem from one fundamental observation that there is no fundamental and separate, discreet subject, an ”I” to be found in this world of objects. ”It” is called by many names by many cultures around the world. Eastern cultures have better descriptions, even to my western view. Though every mystic tradition of any religion has ”it”. I might be labeled as gnostic, but in the end, labels does no not matter, they are just a roadsigns that show the way, a vehicle to get there, so to speak. We should not fall in love with our vehicles, they can only take us near ”it” but we also need to jump off it. And to remember to leave our clothes and our itineraries, our very attempts and motives to get ”there”. It can be rationalized in some way with metaphors, but they too are just a roadsigns, fingers that points towards ”it”. In the end they must be get rid of too. Our every experience in this world is a step towards it, if we could just be aware of our selves and surroundings. Usually we are never here, in this now moment to be aware of anything. We are all here, but we are absent. Instead of living, we are planning. We all have different routes. I banged my head on the wall for at least 20 years, and finally got seriously into mindfulness meditation and self observation. That was my ticket. But even speaking of a ticket is misleading, for it implies a destination. We already are there, we only need to stop and say: ”oh fuck, this is it”

Zen koans are excellent contemplation while one is progressing in one way trip towards kensho, a thing that is not a thing and that happens without happening to no one.

U gay my nigga

Fuck right off and start writing and making better metaphors and the like. Just shut the fuck up and become a monk or something instead of posting around here pretending you know something about Buddhism. I will only respect you when you shaved your head and have given most (if not almost all) of your possesions and voluntarily chosen a life of poverty and scarcity.

Fuck right off poser, reading a little bit of the Pali Canon doesn't make you a wiseman, faggot.

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If you knew even a little of the Buddhist texts you wouldn't be here talking shit about things and would instead be on /lit/. Also, literally every single thing you have talked about love is complete bullshit. If you knew anything about Buddhism and Buddhist precepts, you'd know that love (be it romantic or otherwise, which will create attachment - excluding loving-kindness) is considered a great vice and impediment to Enlightenment and the like. Going around taking bullshit quotes and metaphors from fucking Tumblr, like "Oh, no love is like a wind in a jar, that disappears when you take it, Hurr Durr", is just like those fucking faggots on facebook that share fake Buddha Quotes saying that being in infatuated love is like plucking a flower and being in caring love is letting the flower and watering it. Seriously, fuck right off, get some knowledge before sharing bullshit that has no connection to real Buddhist and mystic texts.

You're a fucking dumbass.

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Literally every single mystic, be it eastern or western has said that earthly love is a fucking lie and only leads to pain. And the western mystics have a complete different view on love, whereby they see earthly love as imperfect and the love of God as perfect and eternal and pure etc. while the Buddhist hold no view on the love or being in love with anything at all (they have no conception of being in love with "God" at all) and they would consider any sort of love as attachment and thus a fatal error. The only thing that they speak of favorably is in being compassionate and kind which cannot in any way be compared to love and that OP talks none of it.

>"Usual Human Condition is to be surrounded by love, and happiness"
Are you a complete fucking idiot? Usual Human Condition is surrounded by PAIN, mystics from both traditions know that (read Thomas a Kempis, the usual state of humanity is surrounded by misery, like the tale of Job), and it is unnecessary to point out what Buddha said about the truths of pain in the Pali Canon (unless you are a total idiot, which I suspect you are).
If one wants to find "happiness", it is specifically stated in the central Buddhist texts that one MUST NOT love, or ever fall in love, dumbass.

>True love is like a fountain that gives flow and life to everything. It is unattainable, yet we are born out of it... it must be enjoyed as it comes,

Seriously, just kill yourself if you think this is in any way reconcilable with Buddhist Philosophy, for real.

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>We did get kinda sexual recently, though. She let me touch her boobs. It was nice.

I don't mean this as an insult or anything, but how much experience do you have with women?

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The thing is, more we know, farther from the truth we are. You are now butthurt. What do you need to be upset for? If your knowledge about your buddha get you hurt, what do you need it for? Throw it away, you do not need it. Kill your buddhas. The very last thing between you and god is your concept of god.

Of course worldy love is nothing but objects that rise, live their time and fade. This is the promblem of words. I wrote nothing about worldy love, the thing was about true love, god, ultimate aspect of nature, the thing is taht it cannot be described with words. You too, are upset? For what? Is there an attachment? Who is it that is butthurt? Is there an ultimate butthurt you behind that butthurt face? To who you are even butthurt to? For what? You do not need your butthurtness. Throw it away also. We tend to get butthurt, when our belief systems are in jeopardy. It hurts. It is like someone grabbing a blanket off your body while you are asleep. People do not want to wake up. It is more comfortable in the bed. And the sour sweet dream continues...

Of course worldy love is destined to fail, it is an objects, that we cling to. We cannot love even god, for it too is an object. Pain, is real as long you think yourself into pain. That is talk from standpoint of a fish that believes he is in dry land, while in reality he is comfortably in the sea. We have been thinking that we exist as separete entity so long that we cannot see otherwise. Anyone saying otherwise is a faggot, of course. We are so accustomed to be in the cesspool that we love it. We do not want to get away. Buddhists who find some comfort and solace in denying their nature and believe they gain something from it, are true ultrafaggots in their pedestal. Have too much knowledge, and you will never want to leave it behind. What do you need luggage for, if you are to go through pinhole? Throw those away. You must know about chogyam trungpa and his concept of spiritual ego.

>We tend to get butthurt, when our belief systems are in jeopardy. It hurts. It is like someone grabbing a blanket off your body while you are asleep. People do not want to wake up. It is more comfortable in the bed. And the sour sweet dream continues...

It is not because I am trying to find any "higher power" or "God' light" right now that I'm fucking mad. It is precisely because you are a fucking pseud spewing out bullshit that pisses me off the most. At this point I don't even mind what philosophical conception of love and God is the right one, and what we should do regarding the correct way in which to live. At this point I'm fucking mad at you for being a false pseud thinking that you know anything about religion and mysticism from just having read a few wikipedia articles, you faggot. Stop it with this "POV"/standpoint of the fish and all that bullshit, no serious Buddhist uses that shit besides poo book writers.

>Have too much knowledge, and you will never want to leave it behind. What do you need luggage for, if you are to go through pinhole? Throw those away.
I'm not fucking throwing my knowledge right now not because I'm in desperate need of it, but because I need it to dispel bullshitters pseuds like you so that you do not fool people into believing your "pop" view of Buddhism as a serious thing. Fucking dumbass. It doesn't even matter whether I'm the fucking butthurt or not, the fact that you all act all "high and mighty", and "zen and calm" on a fucking chinese board doesn't change the fact that you know fucking nothing of real buddhism and that doesn't fool anyone about the fact that you can be just as fucking mad as me right now behind your computer screen but hiding it all under the (false) pretext of "knowing Buddhism".

Fuck you.

Sincerely and with love and care - user

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>People do not want to wake up. It is more comfortable in the bed. And the sour sweet dream continues...

Writing all of this fucking bullshit saying that the other is in a "state of ignorance" is as much as an ad hominen attack and does not in any way defend your erroneous views.

Ok, you are serious buddhist. Precise words and concepts can have their place when constructing roadmaps, or models. if you have not, read a free book named ”mastering the core teachings of the buddha” by d.ingram. It is very good, and free. It has all the knowledge, maps and models, and while being very long and at first glance hard to grasp, the author has really made a gem of a book with words every buddhist understands.

>not recommending the full Pali Canon
>not recommending Mingyur Rinpoche
>not recommending Stephen Bachelor
>not recommending Thich Nhat Hanh
>not recommending Kalu Rinpoche
>not recommending Shodo Harada
>not recommending Nishida Kitaro, or the Tokyo School
>not trying to decipher and understand early Buddhist texts like those of Nichiren and Dogen instead of reading modern pop watered-down pop "guides" to Buddhism

M8, you have much to learn and read.

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Nah, your mind is grabbing whatever it can to validate itself. As a notion of state of human beings, there was no ad hominems. I know this myself. When i am asleep, i definitely do not want to wake up. It is human. Our minds, our concepts of ”I” are nothing but abstract constructions that do not exist in this real alive now-moment, which ultimately is all we can have. When our thinking arises from that thinker’s side, everything that threatens it, is blasphemy. Our ”I” is nothing but side effect of thinking. There was a guy called anthony de mello, whose books and lectures can found from internet. His approach of pulling the carpet under his audience shook myself at first, too.

I’ll check those authors, thanks.

Honestly I am not in the mood to make a full response, but good luck on your endeavors.

For the most part, initial attractions fade with time. You gotta think long term here, not hot enough says more about you than her. In a serious relationship...it changes. Id say if you are yourself around her, if you feel comfortable in your own skin around her. If you feel enough. Theres a good chance youre looking at years together. When i met my wife, to me, she was a 10. I dont look at her the same way anymore...its more like the fact that we've meshed together over the years....sex is still great, but at the same time i also have a friend you know. Anyways my 2 cents

Love is kind of weird, yeah. There are a lot of feelings you can initially have upon meeting somebody, but I find love is never one of them. Love is something that is built over time as you come to appreciate and understand another persons qualities and traits. Love isn't really limited to a single person at a time, either. It's entirely possible that you come to love another down the road, but the strength of love is often in it's roots, and the memories you've made and time you've spent with somebody. It really doesn't have to start as anything complicated. You can just enjoy being around somebody. Yeah, there will be periods of doubt, but that's sort of a product of human interaction in general, it's just that we become a bit more anxious when we believe the stakes are higher.

All in all, it's not really something that needs to be worried about. Enjoy your time, and you've got nothing to lose. What comes of it, comes of it.

love is whatever other people say it is and if you don't abide by those standards you should feel like a failure
there's literally thousands of instagram accounts you can follow to see what other people look like when they're in love, just do that

Not much. Got a blowjob once and made out with a girl in HS. Thats it.

Love is being a junkie

I cannot but be compassionate about it, for we are all the same, hurting you would be hurting me. It is our programming that needs bashing. Usually when our programming, or attachments, are attacked, we get upset, because we have attached ourselves into those attachments. We think that we are them, we think have them. To be compassionate about other beings is not being compassionate about their delusions. I needed a kick in the butt to start really question them.

The thing is, a last thing man wants to do is to wake up, to throw himself away, to finally get out of the way. This is no killing oneself or giving aal his money for charity. We do not want it. We do not want to hear about it. It’s when there is enough glitches in the matrix, so to speak, we start to question: is there another way. We get interested in mystic stuff, we get into meditation to ”get it”, we study different religions, deciphering their holy texts, listen to the gurus, or people ”who have gotten there”. So we get good at meditation, gain incredible willpower to finally keep life at a track, to finally get balance to it. To keep the ying and yang together. To bring acceptance and compassion to the world. So the seeker dies having a balanced and happy life. Nothing bad at that. Only it never occurred to him that there could have been another way. (Cont.) 1/?

My world is a subjective experience. Yet, when i search for that ultimate, fundamental, discreet subject, i cannot find it. This failure to find myself, that final subject has no consequences in my worldly experience, but it has devastating consequences for my stories about myself. I cannot take my previously granted victim stories, success stories, anxieties, sadness, as credible anymore. If i cannot find the main character of my worries, whose worries am i carrying? They are dropped without effort, for there is no name in them, no adress. Whose worries i have carried all these years? Instant automatic acceptance of what is. Like a cheat mode, like blasphemy! It should not be this easy! It is as we are programmed to achieve everything.
There is no need to be anything other that we are. We never could have anything other what we are, and never will be. If there is nothing special about us, we are all the same with everything else, every living thing, and rock, every thing, is us. When we look at the sky, we are sky, and stuff. Instant automatic compassion towards everything, the is no one to be compassionate, only thing that is left, is compassion. Now we know that every thing we do to some other fellow human, or animal, we do to ourselves. We now know that first victim of violence is always ourselves, and the world. Ill will just dies, without effort, there is no need for anyone to drop it. (Cont. 2/?)

So how does one drop their delusions? More we try, more it resists. There is no ”I” capable of doing it, it is an impossible task. We are like pyromaniacs and firemen the same time. It will never work. The big joke is that there is no one that can get enlightened. The thing is not to quench that self, not to hate it, not to deny it, for it is violence towards our nature, and wasteful. The thing what we sould have been doing all along, is to really seek it, try to find it, and fail. It is to know it’s nature viscerally, not by intellect. The intellect deludes us. All we have about ourselves are just stories, dead stuff, memories. It must be understood that there really is nothing other than here and now in this world. So the thing is two ways stuff. It ultimately boils down to that we viscerally know that there is nothing but here and now, and that this here and now is completely empty of subject. Ways to know it are numerous. we can use any mean, any technique, but we ought to throw the technique away also. There is no room for it in here and now. There is also no room for self to be born. We cannot do it by ourselves, but we can surrender to what is and let the here now do it’s work for us. 3/3