I'm going to let this out. Maybe it's a small problem compared to you guys, so sorry if this feels like exaggerating...

She told she was desperately looking a friend, because she really doesn't have here where we live

My gf believes he didn't mean what he said, that he was just drunk. Idk what should I do since she is so optimistic

Don't believe for an instant that she didn't see him flirting with her or that he was interested in her. She enjoyed the attention he gave her which is why she talked two him again twice after she promised not to. Wanting friends is not an excuse for keeping a beta orbiter around.

She didn't cheat me tho.

she would have and you know it.

That's the thing, only hypothetically. Is it reasonable to leave one, because there was a some kind of percentual chance of cheating

Yes and even if she'd never actually cheat, she's showed that she's too immature to be trusted since the first thing she did after a fight was to talk and want to met a guy who wants to fuck her as "revenge"

OP, nothing good comes from beating this guy up.
She was probably actually lonely not having friends and people are kinda bad sometimes at telling if a guy really wants to be friends or get into their pants. So if she didn't have any, that's probably why she reached out to him for comfort. And the guy took advantage of it.
You admitted you wrote some psycho shit and insulted her. That's a sure way to lose someone. I think she's already decided to leave you as well. She blocked you.
Reading through this I felt your anger truly, that's a really terrible situation.
I'd say the next girl you get with, try to avoid using threats or bringing up the past unless if it's relevant. Any type of revenge or spite, it's going to keep getting worse.
If you're going on a break, be clear that means both of you aren't seeing other people. Communicate what a break means for both of you. And compromise.

So, we are now talking again and trying to solve this out. She promised to not talk to him while we are solving the future of our relationship. I dont know if I can forgive her, should I?

Just break up OP. I cant comprehend why would you allow a stranger into your home, but whatever floats your boat.

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I think it's valid to feel unsure about it.
Ofc, if you want to be with her, you need to forgive her completely and not use it against her.
You can tell her for example, "Right now it's hard for me to forgive you, and i'd like to get to the point where I can, so it will take time as we work this out together" ?
If you really don't think you can forgive her, then you gotta move on.

Just give her up, work through the breakup-pain and betrayal and get back on your feet so you won't miss that one girl that is the right one for you. Not saying that there is that one special person for someone, just that there are only a few people that actually will long-term fit with you real nicely, and fewer will probably at some point and some place step into your life, and at some point step out again if you don't catch them.

Also sorry bro, feel internet-hugged, hasn't happened to me so far, but this seems like one of the worst ways to lose your partner, I don't wish that onto my worst enemies.

Im not sure if this seems to you guys, that she is disrespectful. I dont trust my own judgement. Is this clear sign she doesn't respect me

Op your girl is gaslighting you. Break it off now and move on with your life.
Don't try to justify this behavior. Take it from someone who just got out of the same situation, but 8 years down the line. You don't trust your own judgement because that is what gaslighters do. Save yourself and break it off.

Yes

everyone is a fucking liar and their insight is a fucking lie.

This whole situation is a mess. You have no future with this girl. Look at it. It's only 8 months in and she's already acting up. I'd avoid all the drama and fights and just walk away. She has shown you her character.

Why she did this to me?

Because of the person who seems amazing and sweet could turn out to be an ass? Welcome to real life.

Why the asses do like this? Why do they say how bottomless their love is, just so they could proof themselves wrong? What is the motive of asses?

Fuck. How to continue from now on? How can I ever trust anyone

Because one person being a lying ass doesn't mean everyone else is?

>what would I do if i were in your shoes
>shoes, not boots, use the right expression
Well user, I was in your exact situation, down to a T almost.
Including the entire break up, ex sees guy, swears nothing happened, etc.
Before I continue, this was some... Gods, what was it, 5 years ago?
Anyway, we broke up, later got back together, she never talked to the guy again, as far as I could tell. The gf and I eventually broke up for unrelated reasons.
Here's the pieces of knowledge you need to know.
- The guy betrayed you. It is correct to feel whatever negative feelings you so have towards him.
Your (ex) gf did not betray you. She was stupid to contact him as a way to make you mad, but in this regard he was nothing but a tool.
Your mistake was in firstly not acknowledging your jealous nature, which, by the way, you're able to get over eventually. I did. Your next mistake was in the psycho babble you did until she *had to block you*.
But, again, I sympathize. I know -exactly- what it's like to slip into a recursive loop like this. Thankfully you're out of it now. I know a guy who sent literal hundreds of emails towards his ex, who is my (platonic) friend. She had to get the police involved, but that's another story.
Blame: Other guy > you > your ex.
Betrayal is the worst, but you lost your self control. Shame on you. I don't say that lightly. Don't let it happen again, alright?

I don't know how far the relationship deteriorated between you two, but write an apology, and then stash it away somewhere. You can give it to her if she ever seeks you out, but until then, any apology is just something to make you feel better, not her.

As far as "would you leave her?" well, let's be honest. The relationship is currently over. She's blocked you. You have no direct contact. It's already done. Make peace with yourself, and move on. And again, strive to never let yourself sink to that point again.
...one more thing. Be glad you're getting off so lightly.

>So, we are now talking again and trying to solve this out.
For fuck's sake. Way to change everything before I actually sent my first reply.
Fine, I'll give you new information, but I'm calling you a faggot for the trouble.

Two points: I accept that she was genuinely wanting a friend, and showed poor judgement in going to him after the fight. Tell her she's and idiot. Yes, that was intentional. Tell her EVERYTHING is intentional. Everything carries consequences. Don't fuck up next time. Despite my previous cynicism, be glad there may be a next time.
She fucked up a SECOND time, when she went to the guy AGAIN after the breakup, *but hear me out*. After the breakup, she has no obligation to not see the guy. She has no boyfriend to be jealous of that. Her fuckup is that despite having no moral issue seeing the guy, of fucking course it would make you upset. So here, the fuckup isn't black and white like cheating. It wouldn't be bad if it didn't make you mad, get it? You don't piss off someone you want to work things out with. I feel like I'm ranting, so I'll move on.

>she's so optimistic
she's a woman. that's the end of it, honestly. they're like that. it's part of their nature, and if she wasn't like that, well... I'll skip over that.

I disagree with his statement, because there's a non zero chance of cheating whenever the person leaves your sight, to be honest. They go to check the mail? A blowjob only takes 30 seconds if it's set up before hand.
Don't let hypothetical rule your life, please trust me on this. But she's definitely immature, no two ways about that.

Oh, fuck. I forgot about this part. My thing with my ex was after 5 years together.

English isn't your first language is it, OP?
Here's the only sentence you need to know. "Why would I want to be with someone, who doesn't want to be with me?"

Thank you for sharing, this somehow calmed me down and helped making inner peace with myself.

I truly believe it's not worth of that energy to solve this thing out, I can be just happy I didn't use more of my time to this.

I will make sure she aknowledges that Im sorry for psycho bs, but also that what she did wasn't right.
Then it's over.

And yes, English definitely isn't my mother's tongue. It doesn't even belong to the same language family as my native language kek. So sorry for all those brain cells you lost while reading my grammar

Yes

Stop defending the girl. It looks exactly like a cheater. She doesnt even respect the guy she's in a relationship with. Stop putting girls on a pedestal, they are not bubbly innocent beings, they are just as or even more capable of being cruel, they just do it in a mental way instead of physical, and may even leave you thinking that it was all your fault when it was none.
TL;DR OP, leave the girl and never talk to her again, and get a girl who respects you

Dont pretend for a second she didnt know the guy was coming onto her. She enjoyed the attention. They guy took advantage because she let him.

Read the book Sex at Dawn. I just gave another user the same advice. Read the thing cover to cover and, even if you don’t agree with all of it, you will have such better perspective into your situation... it will arm you with knowledge and a different perspective for you to use when conducting yourself in these types of situations.

My opinion:
>It’s OK for your girl to flirt with other men as long as the two of you have boundaries with it
>Flirting is a natural human thing to do.... as long as it’s used correctly. Just like most things right?

>You shouldn’t be flipping your shit on your girlfriend like that. She’s your lady bro. If you have a problem, discuss it with her. If she acts like a fool when you’re trying to be good to her and treating her well by communicating... well you know you’re dating a fool then huh.

>Once you have your boundaries set up with your lady... it’ll be much easier to handle strange men like this.

>The guy wanting your girlfriend is actually a nice compliment... and you should take it as a compliment.

>HOWEVER, him trying to sneak his dick into your girlfriend is a fucking threat. You were right to throw his ass out.

>... But why would you let his ghost haunt your relationship like that? Remember - be nice to your lady man. And if your lady isn’t nice back.... well now you know her character don’t you.

>Also sorry bro, feel internet-hugged, hasn't happened to me so far, but this seems like one of the worst ways to lose your partner, I don't wish that onto my worst enemies.

At least there was no cheating involved

Your story is exactly the beginning to how I divorced my ex, just switch a few stupid details.

Believe her actions. Fucking RUN.

Would you like to open up? Did she understood what she did was wrong or blamed you?

>part of their nature, and if she wasn't like that, well... I'll skip over that.
not op but continue this thought pls?

She met a man, he wouldnt leave her alone, told her im not putting up with it and had her call him and tell him it had to end.

She kept talking to him, gave her another chance, and ultimately she wasn’t willing to let him to, so i filed for divorce and have had a fucking great life ever since. I moved to a new city, started a new career, and found a much more beautiful, more intelligent and much younger woman who is now my fiancé.

Dont waste your time on people that treat you like trash, this is your one life.

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the whole purpose of using green text is to get to the point quickly. you fucking wrote a book.

anyway, your gf disrespected you from the first night by responding to a guy hitting on her and then taking him home and you allowed them to basically date and get to know each other all under your nose

So, he likes her and she likes him and now you finally wake up and realize this. Its too late OP, its over.

The painful truth...

Time to leave op...

>So, he likes her and she likes him and now you finally wake up and realize this. Its too late OP, its over.

If she really likes him, why she doesn't admit it to me? It shouldn't matter at this point to tell the truth since we are not together anymore, but she still keeps saying she has no romantic interest towards him

That is what we call saving face.

The girl is just as wrong as the guy. Always has been equal fault.
There is no discussion on this.

never talk to her again, move on and get a new girlfriend. but do all of it just because it's healthy and not for revenge.

>- The guy betrayed you. It is correct to feel whatever negative feelings you so have towards him.
>Your (ex) gf did not betray you. She was stupid to contact him as a way to make you mad, but in this regard he was nothing but a tool.
Are you fucking nuts? She used him to make OP upset. And she's not in the wrong? Jesus fucking christ.

>you allowed them to basically date and get to know each other all under your nose

I don't regret I "let" them to meet each other. I can't restrict my girlfriend to meet all male persons in the world. If our thing was meant to be none of this would have happened. And I'm happy this happened now and not in 2 years, because it would have happened later with someone else, if I would have restricted my gf to see this guy.

Are you really this stupid?

The whole reason she brought him home, despite having you right there, who stupidly went along with it, was because she was interested in him.

Even now she has two guys that want her and successfully playing the both of you. All along all it took to keep you from being angry with her is to tell you she isn't interested though she treated him as if they were dating. Crazier still by telling you this you let him into your home. See where this is going....so long as she lies and tells you she's not interested you stay.

On the other hand she doesn't have to say a damn thing to her other bf since he knows she responded to his advances by inviting him home, defying you and basically choosing to see him after you complained a bit.

Guys and girls cant be just freinds, especially if they are attractive. Acquaintance? Sure, but not close freinds.
You are dumb.

Damn idiot. You are right you cannot stop her from wanting another man even when she's in a relationship with you. However that doesn't mean you allow a man she picked up in a bar to your own home. Were you dropped on your fucking head as a baby?

Cuckboy OP lmao I bet you also look like those basedboy memes.

>Ok, obviously I'm a primitive cave man who isn't able to handle this situation with dignity.

No. You are a normal man. Look, I've been through shit similar to this. At this point you gf has shown you she's a lying deceitful slut. You need to get rid of her and move on.

When she first started showing interest in this guy that was your red flag. You should have left her then.

You should have got rid of her long ago when they started talking on fb and becoming friends. Once your gf knew it bothered you, she would have cut it off if she was worth keeping. She didn't. She was basically telling you, I'm a latent slut and I am going to do this and push it, and push it, and push it regardless of what you think because it excites me and one day I will probably go ahead and cheat on you - because you so stupid desu!

>I don't regret I "let" them to meet each other. I can't restrict my girlfriend to meet all male persons in the world.

But you can walk away when your so-called girlfriend turns out to be a slut who is setting up dates with other guys right in front of you.

Or not. You can choose to be a cuck. That's what you chose.

What will you choose NOW?

>>Ok, obviously I'm a primitive cave man who isn't able to handle this situation with dignity.

Yeah, you been drinking too much feminist kool aid if you think that.

Look down between your legs. Are there any balls there or does your girllfriend carry them around in her purse and let you borrow them from time to time so you can service her?

>>my gf tells me that if he says sorry, maybe she could give him a second chance to be friends
This is where you dump her because she's a whore.

>my gf suggests we invite him to our house to drink more

That was your first mistake

Then there are like 10 others

I fucking hate life.

I don't really approve of the way you handled your jealousy, (you basically acted out on it instead of discussing it with your gf), nor of the way you insulted her publicly,
but,
she's definitely trying to get with this dude. she probably has already. i'm not sure if she was interested in him originally, but that doesn't matter at this point, she's interested in him now. also, texting this dude as 'revenge' is petty behavior that you don't want in a relationship anyway.
I'd definitely leave her.

How to avoid this in the future?

Don't be so fucking afraid to say no when a girl picks up a guy you don't know in a bar and wants him to come home with you. Then when you leave the bar you take her home and break up with her on the fucking spot.

You tell the girl she can do whatever she wants, its her life, but you also get to decide what you'll put up with so you break up and find a girl that wouldn't pick up another man in a bar while she's in a relationship with you.

Life hates you right back. Life wins.

Both your gf and you are immature pieces of shit. Eat shit and die, you depraved fuckers.

You dodged a fucking bullet.